Gloom
A small choir of singsong voices came from the other side of the door.
"Hiiiiitch!"
"What do you waaaant?" replied Sunny, opening the door and staring down the three mares with a wry grin.
"Oh!" yelped the first one, a pale yellow mare with flowers in her mane. What was her name again? "Flora" or something? Sunny could never keep track of these things. Possibly because hardly anypony besides Hitch had bothered speaking to her until just recently.
"Ohmigosh!" said the one on the right, this one with a blue coat and a white mane. "Who are you? Where's Hitch?"
"Jasmine!" scolded the last of the trio. "That's Sunny Moonscout."
"Starscout." said Sunny, her eyelids dropping slightly.
"Oh, right, well, we were looking for Hitch. Ya know, the sheriff?"
"This is the sheriff's office, isn't it?" muttered her-name-might-be-Flora.
"Yes it is!" said Sunny a little too loudly, in hopes of cutting this short. "But Hitch left me in charge today. Did you need anything?"
"Yes!" said Jasmine. "We want Hitch."
"I assure you that anything Hitch can do, I can do too."
"No you can't! I'm not into mares!"
Her words echoed about the street for a moment, and several ponies glanced over to see a blue-coated mare blushing beet red while her two friends pretended not to know her.
The yellow one muttered at high speed. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. I mean my aunt organized the parade last year, and that's fine! I'm just saying-"
"The point," interrupted the third one, "is that there's that big dance they just announced"
"And we were just wondering-"
"-if Hitch-"
"-might be available?"
"OK!" interrupted Sunny. "I will give Hitch your message when he gets back. But if you want my advice..."
The three mares leaned in. Sunny attempted an understanding smile.
"Don't get your hopes up, ok?"
And with that, she closed the door.
____________
"Magic! Magic. Magic! Magic! Magicmagicmagicmagicmagic!"
The chattering foals of Bridlewood tumbled about the newly-glowing crystals and tree trunks, sending off random sparks from their still-untrained horns. Hitch tried to walk at a steady pace, but found himself forced to jump or duck every few steps as another blast of magic shot past. He had to remind himself not to scold the kids for disorderly conduct. He wasn't sheriff of Bridlewood, after all. And even I was, he thought to himself, I can't say I blame them for getting so excited.
"Wing! Feather! MAYONNAISE!"
Hitch couldn't help but smile a bit as he ducked another bolt of magic. Some of the kids were chanting a little song, even. "No more jinxies anymore! No more jinxies anymore!"
Hitch rather wished he could share in that childlike energy. But his own source of excitement was a bit more...nuanced. Tinged with fear, actually. Which wasn't something he liked to admit.
He gazed at the door of the Crystal Tea Room as he approached. After a long sigh, he opened the door and stepped inside.
It had been a curiosity at first. An itch. He'd told Sunny that he wanted to visit Bridlewood again, just to get a better sense of what unicorns were like, maybe actually drink some of the tea this time. You couldn't stop to appreciate the finer things when you're on the run, worried about palace guards arresting you for aiding and abetting the theft of their crown jewel, etc. etc.
Of course Sunny had agreed to the whole thing before he could even finish his monologue. And of course Izzy came along too, and they'd gone to the tea room together and reminisced about their adventure and how much had changed just in the last week, how things were shaping up in Zephyr Heights and how they ought to visit the pegasi next...
But as the conversation went on, Hitch had found it harder and harder to pay attention. He kept looking up at the gray pony onstage, listening to the long rhyming sets of poetry that seemed to flow out of her like a mountain spring. He'd made an excuse to go talk to Alphabittle for a moment and asked her name. Gloomy Sonnet, it turned out.
There had been a conflicted expression on Alphabittle's face. "Truth is", the bartender had muttered, "she wasn't born with that name. We, uh...well let's just say that...it's partly my fault, honestly. I was part of the crowd. I didn't know any better, but still..."
"What are you talking about?" Hitch had asked.
"It's, uh...well I'm not sure it's my place to say, honestly. She doesn't much talk about it these days. You'll have to ask her yourself."
He'd spent another week thinking about her, wondering what kind of pony she was. Sunny had pried it out of him soon enough, and with her encouragement he'd finally decided to go back to Bridlewood, alone this time. Which is how he found himself striding into the tea room once again. Alphabittle gave him a soft nod from the bar, which he returned in kind. He stepped up and ordered a drink.
"It's on the house" said the bartender.
"Oh, thanks. Hey, you think I can talk to Gloomy?"
"About what?" He stopped, then leaned in. "Is this about, uh...that thing I mentioned before? Because I'm not so sure-"
"Look, if she doesn't want to talk about that, it's fine. I don't care about her name. The truth is....there's this dance coming up and I thought I might-"
Just then he glanced to his left to see the mare herself at the edge of the stage, facing away from him. She was chatting with her drummer, the stallion with the green curly mane. Hitch watched her for a moment, taking in the strange grace that she somehow carried through her gloom.
She was beautiful.
He hurried over. "Excuse me?" he mumbled. No response. He tried again, a little louder. "Excuse me?"
She turned around. Her amazing raspy voice drew in all his attention, as if they were alone together in an empty room. "You need something?"
"I uh, well I -"
"Hey. You're that earth pony. From before."
"Yeah" he blushed a little. "Hitch."
She paused. "You're from, uh..."
"Maretime Bay"
"With the earth ponies."
"Yeah. Listen, I-"
"You ever get any visitors out that way? From outside?"
There was a strangely intense look in her eyes then. A kind of pleading, almost.
"I...I mean, recently, sure, we've opened up the border and-"
"Before that."
"Before? Not...uh...not that I know of."
Her expression fell back, like a dimming candle. "Yeah. I figured."
She turned and stepped onto the staircase that led to the stage.
"Um, but if you'd like to visit" Hitch stammered, "you could, obviously. Anytime. I'd like that. What I mean is I'd...I'd like to get to know you a little better."
"What are you talking about?"
Oh boy. Might as well come out with it. "There's...this dance. It's part of this...sortof festival we do every year. For Hearts and Hooves Day? I-I don't know if you have that around here."
"I know what it is."
She turned back to the stage, but her drummer called after her.
"Gloom", he said. "Give the guy a chance. This could be good for ya."
She sighed and turned back again. Hitch looked at her, then the drummer, then back to her again. Gloomy looked down at her hooves.
"Are you seriously asking me out? On a date? Hearts and roses and all that?"
Hitch took a breath. "...Yes, that's what I'm doing. I know I don't know you very well, obviously. And it's just a date, you know if you don't like it that's ok... I just thought we could...."
"Hitch." she said, "...I want you to know that I'm grateful. For what you did. Bringing the tribes together and all that." She raised her eyes to meet his, and her gaze was strangely vulnerable. "And now you wanna dance? Look...if things were better I might say yes. But I've got a lot on my mind right now, ok? I've got other things to think about."
Hitch nodded slowly. "Uh, ok then. I'm sorry."
"Listen," she said. "I, uh...I'm not always good at...normal conversation. But..." she looked to the side "...I've got a poem, if you wanna hear it. Maybe it'll help you understand."
"Yeah. Yeah, absolutely."
She walked up the stairs with her drummer in tow. She took her place at the microphone while Hitch took a seat at an empty table in the front row. The drummer began his soothing beat, and Gloomy's raspy voice filled the room...
"Earth pony jinx, something stinks
In the misty town of Bridles where nopony ever thinks
Where all the neighbors rise and shine
At the bitter gasp of twilight
With laughter in their revelry
In the middle of the night
'Where are you?' says the gardener, as he tramples through my yard
'Isn't this a day of triumph?' says he who left this pony charred
Oh, the great excuse of memory
And the crowd that's all pretending
That they frolic in the daytime
Though the day long saw its ending
'Where were you?' I whisper coldly
'When the sun did truly rise?
I'm the one who woke on time
Tease me not with all your lies'
I was there and I remember
A little filly bound to jinx
It was I who held her closer
In the town where no one thinks
And they told me I was wicked
And they told her she was worse
And all the foolish ponies
Took her blessing for a curse
And she ran away one summer
So to spare me all the pain
And I searched a thousand twilights
Through the bitter pounding rain
And now too late the ponies rise
And go about their glory-day
But tell me, where has filly gone?
To Zephyr Heights? Or Maretime Bay?
No single word is heard of her
No hoofprint can be found.
It's been three years since she's been seen
And my efforts do confound
I try to trace the heart-made chain
And all I find are broken links
While everypony celebrates
The disappearing 'jinx' "
The crowd in the tea room went quiet. Hitch could barely breathe. He looked over at Alphabittle, who appeared to be holding back tears. Gloomy slowly looked down at Hitch, gazing at him with impenetrable sorrow. Slowly, without a sound, she turned and walked off stage, disappearing behind a curtain.
Hitch got up and walked to the bar. "What was that?"
Alphabittle looked away. "I....I shouldn't really-"
"That wasn't just a story, was it? Not the way you reacted. The whole room went dead quiet. What do they know that I don't?"
"She...she's had a hard time."
"Why?"
"She had a sister." said Alphabittle, nearly sobbing. "A younger sister. When she was born, her parents....they kept her hidden. For a long time. They didn't even want her. Couldn't even give her a proper name. So she lived with Gloomy for awhile. It was a big secret. And then one day the whole town found out and we...we weren't very...I'm so sorry, honestly I am, I didn't know any better. I didn't realize."
"What are you talking about? Her parents didn't want her? Why? Wh-Why was it a secret? Why did everypony-"
Alphabittle was crying now. "Because she was....somehow she was born a...she was a..."
Hitch's eyes went wide. "Oh my god," he whispered.
"Earth Pony Jinx"
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Italibaso · 2.5k words · 25 2 · 1.2k views
- volrathxp · 10k words · 18 1 · 601 views
- SamSwordsman123 · 84k words · 53 6 · 2.5k views
- PioneerofImagination · 8.8k words · 15 2 · 831 views
- Mica · 2.3k words · 79 1 · 1.6k views
- Lulamoon-Crystal · 3k words · 21 2 · 1k views
- pubbyrot · 1.1k words · 60 2 · 2.3k views
- Lulamoon-Crystal · 1.9k words · 41 0 · 1.4k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.106 seconds
Total duration
968 users online
2,223,765 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'm glad to see Gloomy Sonnet getting so much love from the fandom. I'm torn between whether she or the British unicorn kid was my favorite G5 background pony.
I did not see that twist at the end coming! Very tragic ending to what I thought was gonna be a simple shipfic. Great subversion of expectations! Excellent story!
Hitch
11182325
Not actually a typo. I mean "itch" as in "an itch you can't scratch." As in, something that keeps bothering you and grabbing your attention. In this case, it means that Hitch kept thinking about Gloomy and feeling like he wanted to see her again.
Well then that was certainly an interesting story kinda sad and a very interesting shipping as well and I always like that pony Gloomy Sonnet she was a pretty interesting one to say at least keep up the good work
11182315
Thank you so much! =)
11182335
Oh ok my mistake
11182336
Thank you! =)
I really hope fimfiction makes a Gloomy Sonnet tag.
11182339
Maybe once the TV series of the new generation comes around and hopefully we see her and with the official name I'm sure they will probably give her own tag here's hoping
11182339
That would be great!
You know, I could see this turned into a full story.
Loved it!!
"Dang..."
Man, this goes DEEPER than what I originally thought! Imagined a sweet romance thing in the beginning and then it took a surprising turn! Loved every bit of this fic, well friggin' done! Hope ya didn't mind, but I just had to make a reading of this splendid fic of yours!
Audio Link!: https://youtu.be/ikgBNK-vcQ4
11182683
Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh, a reading?? Thank you! I'll listen to it after work! =)
And I'm glad you appreciate the depth! I really wanted to tell a story about how some people are closed off from dating because they're wounded inside. (I've known some people like that personally, and it's really sad.) Gloomy Sonnet was the obvious choice.
11182411
Thank you!
11182376
Thank you so much! =)
This was a great read; getting one of the characters out of the background and doing something with them. The poem was very good; though I'm no scholar when it come to poetry but did really help bring out some of Gloomy's character. You could continue it but I think it stands very well on its own.
I haven't seen the movie yet, so idunno if the Earth Pony Jinx thing was a phrase in it or something.
Just to make sure I understand correctly: The sister was born as an earth pony to unicorn parents, and was driven out of town by prejudice?
I'm awfully curious as to who her sister might be.
Love is in gloom! XD
Damn dude! That took a turn I didn't expect, but it wasn't a bad surprise, mind you. Good job - it is a well-deserved Feature!
11183326
Thank you! =)
11183368
"Earth Pony Jinx" is actually the first thing that Gloomy Sonnet says in the movie. It's not entirely clear what she's talking about, since (as far as she knows) there aren't any Earth Ponies nearby. So I took that phrase and made it into a Big Deal.
And yes, Gloomy's sister was born an Earth Pony to Unicorn parents and was driven out of town by prejudice. We saw in FiM that Earth Ponies (Mr. and Mrs. Cake) can give birth to unicorns and pegasi (baby cakes), so presumably it works the other way too. Even after centuries of tribal separation, there could still be rare occasions of being born into the "wrong" tribe.
One thing I'm not sure if anyone got is that Gloomy's sister was actually named "Jinx", on account of her being an earth pony. (This makes more sense if you've seen the movie. Speaking of which, when are you gonna see it?)
11183406
Well, her official name is "Jinx", though I'm sure Gloomy wants to call her something else.
And I just might have to write a long-form fic to explore where she went and how she might be reunited with her sister =)
11183916
Ha! I may have to use that =)
11183982
Thank you! =)
11184123
As far as when I intend to see the movie, haven't got a clue. X3
This is a good fic. I'd read a sequel if you were to write one.
A good story. Didn't expected such a sad turn at the end, but that makes it stand out from the rest.
Now a sequel would be interesting. It definitly could use a resolution about this sister situation... be it harsh, or happy !
the introductory scene with Sunny and the excited mares was a nice touch, setting up a contrast with the mood of the rest of the story. HItch certainly isn't alone in being intrigued by this morose mare, who was my favorite background pony in the movie by far. taking her cryptic initial line and expanding it into a tragic backstory that fits in perfectly with the canonical depiction of Bridlewood was a great idea, and made this fic feel like what i imagine the hit fics of the early MLP fandom must have felt. i could see this backstory as the one adopted for Gloomy Sonnet by the fandom as a whole, fan performances of the sonnet and all (which i see has already been done by the reading, congrats!)
thanks for the nice bit of G5 fanfic, and i definitely think you should write more about Gloomy Sonnet if you were not already!
11240168
Thank you!
Thanks! It also emphasizes that Hitch is really interested in Gloomy, if he's willing to ignore these other admirers. =)
Yeah! I'm glad to be on the ground floor of a new generation, and I'd love to see this concept explored further.
I certainly hope to! But my next idea would be a much longer fic and I haven't done something like that before.
Thanks again!
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
11353185
Thanks for the review =)
I hope next time I can do better than "Passable", but it's still an honor to get reviewed at all, to get a recommendation, and to share a page with shortskirtsandexplosions! I do hope to write a follow-up story, but (much like Gloomy) I've been working on my mental health recently.
Thanks again.
You can has review!
11425707
Thank you! =)