- Member Since 5th Aug, 2019
- offline last seen Monday
Sonicsuns
A proud member of Pony in a Box: https://www.youtube.com/user/SqueakAnon/videos
Sonicsuns
Joined 5th Aug, 2019 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Does this story have any sex or sexy moments in it?
10156281
I don't know, there's only one chapter so far and dj-pony, discovering that he liked girls
10156281
I'm not planning on explicit sex scenes, but there will be mutual attraction. =)
Looks good.
That last line killed me.
This sounds really good. Keep up the good work.
10183633
Thanks! =)
Please tell me you have plans to continue.
You're excellent at the first and last lines of a chapter. The starting line immediately sets the scene without too much detail to bog it down, and the end has a great, punchy hook. I would have liked to have seen more action in the middle - it's the "show, don't tell" advice. For example, maybe Vinyl could have interacted with another party-goer and experienced that disappointment, and we could see how she reacts with rolled eyes and a sigh and an understanding that it always goes like this. I like the way you set everything up, though, and I think this is a great first chapter for a story.
10336614
Thanks for the praise and the constructive criticism. Nice to know that part of it is already "excellent" on the first go-round! I'll see what I can do about character interaction moving forward. I certainly do hope to continue this story and make it something special. =)
10341005
Awesome. Looking forward to it!
Plans to continue?
10576650
Hey! Sorry it's been so long. I thought you'd like to know that, while I haven't updated this particular fic yet, I did post an OctaScratch one-shot today: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/498835/life-is-music . I hope you like it =)