- Member Since 20th Aug, 2021
- offline last seen 1 hour ago
False Door
If you like feeling awful, you've come to the right place.
False Door
Joined 20th Aug, 2021 ·
Offline
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.076 seconds
Total duration
895 users online
365,352 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Short and neat, I liked it.
It’s too bad this has so many downvotes. I think it’s an intriguing topic and a good piece of writing. Well done!
11055633
Thanks!
I'm completely certain the topic alone is WHY it has all the downvotes. 🤷
Very strange fic. I'm not going to rate it, but i'm very curious as to why this was written. What inspired you? I'd love to know.
11055664
Oh, I don't know. I REALLY like putting characters in adult situations, (not clop) but dramatic, emotionally charged situations where someone gets hurt bad. I wanted to make a story about an unwanted pregnancy in a complicated relationship. I never PLANNED or even wanted to talk about abortion but I was forced to confront the issue as the story developed and I had to decide realistically how the characters would respond to a very delicate and complex situation. I could have written the story to skirt the issue entirely and have them run away together or Starlight get some other stallion to pose as the bio dad of her illicit love child for the rest of their lives but that would have just left us with a fantastical, somewhat naive take on an issue that I wanted to feel real. I didn't want to do that so here we are, for better of for worse...
11055698
Understandable and perfectly reasonable. I hope you learned a lot with this experiment and had fun writing it and expressing your curiosities.
Not my usual genre, but interesting, nevertheless.
Very straight-to-the-point. Motivations of characters clear. I almost filled-in-the-blank and (incorrectly) "predicted" that Sandbar would want to stop Starlight from undoing the pregnancy.
11078897
Thanks for the comment! Since it's not your usual genre, what attracted you to the story?
11079038
The fact that it is not my usual genre; sometimes I stumble upon stories I like, which lie outside my genres, and I picked your semi-randomly.
I guess I was in a mood to explore drama this time.
To say that I was blown away with this story is to compare the glow of a matchstick to the sun itself. I find that, upon meditating on this story for the past few days, the words with which to describe how much I enjoyed this escape my grasp. But here's my best attempt!
As usual, I'll start with the flaws and technicalities, of which I couldn't seem to find any. However, I'm not a narrow-minded individual, and I'm not blind to the ratio of upvotes to downvotes either, so I had to think about what could've caused that and why people could've disliked this fic. Is it because of the statutory nature of the relationship? It could be, but it'd be a very surface-level gripe. After all, this story doesn't paint what Sandbar and Starlight have as good, in fact, it paints it as something that heaved Sandbar out of his childhood and into 'the adult world.' Something that isn't fair, that isn't right, and that will have lasting and visceral consequences for both of them moving forward with their lives. So that doesn't make any sense because this story doesn't champion this relationship as something moral and desirable, or beyond that, acceptable. Stick a pin in this because I want to visit it later.
Is it the inclusion of a pseudo-abortion within the fic? I understand that this is a very divisive issue, but considering the ways Starlight's pregnancy could be handled, the way you did it was by far the most thought-out and realistic of the options. You could've, as you said in your comment, had Starlight get a stallion to pose as the father, and she could've ran away with Sandbar as well. These both skirt the issue, which betrays the point of the story, that being, having this miserable, difficult conversation between two characters. So really, it was the most rational outcome of this issue and reinforced what the story is. Stick a pin in this too.
Now, these things aside, I wanna get into what I LOVED about this fic. First and foremost, I love the way the tone fell so suddenly from cloud nine down to earth. The way the conversation shifted so suddenly made me feel like I swallowed a hot lead ball, and this is what I loved so much about this story. It made me feel that sudden shock of a conversation or situation suddenly turning very serious, and it did so without flinching. And this feeling was made all the more impactful by having Sandbar, a naive kid who thinks he's getting lucky having to face what Starlight pushed him into, however willingly. Other writers might have handled this story with gentler hands and may have dodged around the issue, but you didn't. You charged right into it with maturity. It hurt, it was miserable, it was grueling, but never once did it shy away or attempt to rush through the issue or its tremendous gravity. It was like staring at a lovely painting and watching it catch fire and melt without blinking.
Now, take the pins out. I want to give explicit praise for the way you handled what is effectively a magical abortion. I'm pro-choice, ergo, I believe the autonomy of a pregnant person's body is that of the pregnant person's and no one else's. They alone can decide if they want to go through the arduous process of carrying a child to term and then the complete life-altering journey of having and raising a kid. To that end, Starlight being able to control whether or not she gets pregnant puts the ball in her court, and autonomy over her body completely within her grasp and her grasp alone. It might be a small thing, perhaps just a throwaway explanation for a plot device, but it's well thought out and correct in its politics. Moreover, Starlight's decision to bring Sandbar in, tell him she's pregnant, tell him she's going to reverse the pregnancy and cut things off after a single time displays two things: A very flawed character, one that gives in to her impulses without thinking of the weight of them or their consequences. But it also shows maturity in her cutting it off and actually talking through the dilemma, and not taking any number of the easy outs available to her. It never felt like these two were a fairy-tale romance or some kind of weird depiction of relations between a minor and an adult, it felt like Starlight made a mistake and had to face it. The prose, the refined dialogue, the weight and punch of every word made me feel like I was watching a river of flowing fine wine more than reading words on a screen.
This all said, my impression of you as a writer is that you're not afraid of your own shadow. You go through these topics, and more far more horrific and gruesome, with such maturity, finesse, and thought. Your work keeps me on edge, it surprises me, it makes me feel like I'm wading through trenches, it knocks me on my ass, it makes me feel. To that end, and to put it very simply, you're a marvelous writer with an excess of talent and a shortage of recognition.
11174286
I'm convinced the wonky rating is mostly just from including abortion as a topic. I sometimes wonder what it would be if I hadn't put the A-word warning in the description at all and just let people stumble upon it. It's not like she does it in the story. SHE JUST MENTIONS IT. But, like it, hate it, Hardly anyone ever mentions the A-word in the comments. It's weird to think that that content alone caused a significant negative reaction but no one's actually going to say so.
It's nice to hear it described as "mature" since that's the laurel I've wanted to grasp ever since I started writing for fun.
Ironically, having discussions about this story made me want to write an immature, wholesome, running away together story which I already did.
Thanks for your words of encouragement.
I like the last line. imho it really works.
11668639
It makes it feel like a bedtime story fairytale told by a kindly old man and the final shot is the camera panning out of an old storybook with yellowed pages.