Threshold
Sandbar breathlessly pushed open the door to Starlight Glimmer’s office, ignoring the ‘be back soon’ sign and casting one last glance down the hall to see if anyone was watching. He swallowed nervously and tried to keep his smile under control when he saw the resident guidance counselor sitting behind her desk, doodling on a sheet of paper. She was waiting there just for him. He felt his lungs tighten while his heart revved.
Starlight’s eyes flicked up to meet his and he was taken aback when he saw apprehension in them instead of excitement. His face fell slightly as he took a seat before the desk.
“Sandbar,” she greeted cordially, pushing the leaf of paper aside and straightening into an uncomfortably wooden looking posture. “How have you been?”
“Uh, pretty good,” he mumbled, trying to get a new read on the situation.
“That’s good.” The pink unicorn gritted her teeth, eyes flitting about the room as she tried to couple her very delicate train of thought. She cleared her throat and began absently twirling her hoof in circles on the desk. “I-I brought you here because, heh... well, do you remember, oh… last month some time when you came into my office because you were worried about your ability to self motivate and I suggested things like keeping a schedule, taking frequent breaks and getting out of your room more?”
Sandbar scratched the back of his neck, still not exactly sure where she was going with this. “And then we had sex on your desk and you said not to tell anyone because you’d be in a lot of trouble?” he shrugged.
Starlight laughed nervously through a forced smile. “Yep. That’s- that’s the time I was talking about. You remember it alright.”
Sandbar furrowed his brow in confusion. Did she seriously think he’d forgotten about that? That ‘meeting’ was burned vividly into his brain. He’d never forget it. In fact he had yet to go a day since without thinking about it or Starlight in general. It was all so unreal, like a dream come to life.
“So,” continued Starlight cautiously.
Here we go, thought Sandbar, his heart skipping a beat.
“How are you doing with your self motivation now?”
“Oh, um, better,” he smiled, shifting forward in his seat. “I tried your suggestions and I think taking more walks was actually the most helpful.”
“Good! That’s really great to hear,” Replied Starlight, still sporting a strained grin. She paused, once again trying to gather the courage to tackle the real issue and then they soon found themselves caught in an awkward silence.
Sandbar was pretty certain he knew why Starlight had called him to her office during what was usually her lunch break and it had nothing to do with guidance counseling. Why is she being so coy about this now, he wondered. Maybe she wanted him to initiate this time. Before he could test the waters, Starlight was already drunkenly stumbling through her next thought.
“Well you might also remember on that particular day how I assured you it was ‘safe.’” She made dubious use of air quotes.
The usually relaxed and unflappable Sandbar suddenly became petrified as warning lights flashed in his head. “Are you saying it wasn’t safe?” he managed to ask through his constricting throat.
Starlight took a big shaky breath and braced herself on the desk. “There's no easy way to say this, so, In short… yes. I made a miscalculation. I’m pregnant and it’s definitely yours.”
The green earth pony’s blood ran cold. He could feel the entire world crumbling under his hooves. He was falling. Literally, he was falling. Sandbar slumped over the side of his chair and hit the floor with a thud.
The next thing Sandbar remembered was an incredible stench that felt like a pair of nails plunging into his nostrils. His eyes shot open to see Starlight looking down at him, levitating a broken ampule to his nose with her magic. He lurched into a sitting position on the floor, wheezing and clutching his muzzle, trying to dispel the awful sensation.
“Are you okay?” asked Starlight in concern. “I’m really sorry. I wasn’t expecting you to just drop like that.”
Sandbar simply nodded as he staggered back into his chair with one hoof still at his nose. Fresh panic gripped his mind as he squeezed his head between his hooves. “W-what are we gonna do?” he blurted, looking like he was about to cry.
Starlight looked into his eyes and felt an awful pang of regret for putting him in this situation and began to second guess whether or not this was the right way to go about doing this. She’d love nothing more than to get a second opinion from Twilight Sparkle on the matter, however, the number one pony she wanted to talk to about this was unfortunately also her boss and the last pony she could talk to about this. It would ruin Starlight’s job, the school, their friendship, her apprenticeship and that was to say nothing of the legal jeopardy she’d be in. This was a friendship lesson that their curriculum didn’t cover.
She put a comforting hoof on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Sandbar. I’ve already decided I’m going to terminate the pregnancy.”
Sandbar tried to take deep, slow breaths. “You mean like an abortion?”
“Sort of,” she nodded, sitting down in the chair next to him. “It’s more like reversing the process until it blinks back out of existence. I'm not happy about it but things being the way they are, I don’t really see another option here. I can do it myself. Nopony will know except you and me.”
“Well,” he thought aloud. “I’m not gonna argue with you on that.” He certainly couldn’t be a parent. He was still in school. And if he couldn’t be a parent, it seemed unreasonable to expect Starlight to be one. Not to mention that the moment anypony even knew she was pregnant she’d have a lot of lying to do. Sandbar sighed in despair. “Wow, I totally thought this meeting was going a different direction.”
Starlight laughed weakly. “Sorry to disappoint you. I almost didn’t call you here at all. I could have not told you about any of this and just done it and you wouldn’t have to faint on my floor or be kept up at night thinking about it. You could just be a student worrying about school and this problem wouldn’t even occupy your mind but somehow… I just thought that you should know.” The more she thought about it, the more she wished she hadn’t done this. It just didn’t seem worth the possibility of destroying a sensitive young stallion. But maybe that ship had already sailed the moment she gave into her biological urges. In a moment of weakness she’d selfishly shoved him into the adult world with both hooves. Starlight shook her head. “I know I’m supposed to be the guidance counselor here but I don’t know what the right thing to do is.”
“So, what does this mean for us?” he asked, worriedly.
Starlight blinked. “What do you-” She looked into his eyes and stopped mid sentence. They were still full of longing and uncertainty. Oh no, she thought. To him this wasn’t just about getting lucky or avoiding a life changing catastrophe. He was actually infatuated with her. He had been since they first met in the hall and he asked her where his classroom was and he saw her smile and the way her tiered mane fell about her shoulder. But of course he never said anything. How could he?
Starlight’s lips quivered. “Sandbar… I like you a lot. You’re so easy to talk to. You always bring out the best in everyone around you. But I'm afraid this just isn’t in the cards. You know we can’t have a real relationship, physical or romantic. What I did was a mistake and I’m so sorry if I made you think we could be something.”
Sandbar’s face contorted like he’d just been punched in the gut. “What if... when I was older though?”
Starlight sighed in sadness. “You still have some developing to do yet, you know? You and your classmates are going to change so much in such a short amount of time. You’ll meet a lot of new ponies… and creatures.” How could she do this without crushing him? “I mean… I’m not going to say it can never happen, because much stranger things have happened. I’m just saying… You’ll grow and I think you’ll move on.”
“Oh,” he nodded with a deflated look. “Well, you’re the guidance counselor so you’re probably right even if it really doesn’t feel like it to me right now.”
Aww, that’s the sweetest thing that anypony’s ever said to me, thought Starlight, her insides turning to mush. She turned away to surreptitiously wipe an errant tear from her eye. “Well, until we meet some day on the other side of adulthood, how about a nice, platonic hug?”
He nodded wistfully and held out his forelegs for her. They held one another in a long, not entirely just friends way. Whatever happened they’d always share this insane, albeit brief, moment for the rest of their lives.
Sandbar walked slowly to the door. It was going to take him a while to sort all of this out. He paused at the threshold and looked back at her. “Counselor Glimmer... Thanks for telling me about all this. Even though it didn’t feel good, I feel like… you treated me like an adult, like you trusted I was mature enough to handle it. That means a lot to me, especially coming from you.”
“Of course, Sandbar," she smiled. "And don’t forget that you can always come back and talk to me about anything.”
He smiled weakly back at her and nodded before departing. The door clicked shut.
Starlight sighed in relief and then smiled to herself. “He’s going to be fine. I guess maybe I handled that okay after all.” Her smile abruptly vanished. “After I really screwed things up.”
Such was the only way Starlight Glimmer could learn anything.