I am but a humble servant to my dreams.
Written as an entry to the Swapped Roles contest (with the theme of Reunions).
For readers who may assume this is a generic "Luna and Celestia swap" I beg you to keep reading.
Princess Luna has been ruling Equestria for a thousand years, but as the banishment she enacted long ago comes to an end, she only has her student and a collection of random ponies to rely on, to save the world. If they can save anyone, it'll be just in the nick of time.
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This is a great story and I'm excited to read more! Loving Eris so far but whatever happened to Twiligh t? 🤔
10854714
So!! The full swap list is such:
Luna replaces Celestia
Celestia replaces Discord
Discord/Eris replaces Twilight
Starswirl replaces Luna
Twilight replaces Sunset
Sunset replaces Cadance
Cadance IS Chrysalis.
Most of these probably won't show up in this fic since this fic will cover season 1, episode 2 (but longer and better)
10854874
Trollestia is finally being put into action bahahah -
This is all interesting, I've always been imagining Celestia acting like Discord and I'm happy someone is writing about it.
10854896
I did change her name to Mirage though! Much more fitting.
10854902
Ooh, nice! ^^
I am sold on this series!
Another great chapter! If you don't mind - is Eris a pegasus or a unicorn? Both? Or a non - pony? It's hard for me to pay attention to details in stories. Sorry if it's too much trouble! It's okay if you don't wanna tell.
10858214
It's ok! I'll edit the second chapter to make it more clear, she's meant to be a female Discord, but young and less powerful.
10858214
There you go, edited the start of chapter 2, thanks for pointing out it wasn't clear! Doing quick writing like this, it's easy to miss stuff hehe
10858220
Ah, it's ok! I'll start reading!
So is Eris shaped liek discord, all serpentine and undulating, or is she pony shaped, quadrupedal but with miss matched features.
Alright so Applejack is Generocity in this one, or are we going with ‘new’ elements? Like sacrifice maybe? In the idw opposite universe the elements were similar but different than the main series elements.
10858796
Shaped like Discord, and I'm going to be using the original element names, just for different ponies.
10859010
Cool cool. Is she ‘pony sized’ or ‘discord sized’?
You made a point of her not having any of her chaos, or really any notable magic, is that going to change at all? I know full blown reality warping would be too powerful but even Twilight on her own was a once ina. Generation magical powerhouse, and that was before coronation i to alicorn.
10859663
She's a bit taller than a pony but not by much, think the size of Ember the dragon.
Regarding her powers, that's going to come up later in the story.
10859673
Cool, glad to have foubd another ongoing favorite to add to my collection.
Do you see this as a short single series, long single series, a multi story series?
10859785
I'm looking at producing this as a single 8-12 chapter story.
One of the best authors out there, IMO. Those downvoting fail to extract the heart of the material within and should spend more time enlightening themselves with further life experiences. Great job.
10860019
lol flattery will get you everywhere
Eris taught manticores political theories -
10860240
Hehehehehhee I enjoy throwing in random things to make a backstory more fun.
did you mean soirée?
10862938
HAH this is what I get for posting before editing! Yes I absolutely did
Another beautiful chapter! Can't wait for more!
If this happened canonically, Rarity would've been shipped with Steven XDD
Amazing chapter BTW! Keep it up!
10866149
Thank you very much!
Ah, I feel sorry for Rainbow :(
10876850
Thankfully she's got her friends, and she will be ok.
Loving the Luna and Eris relationship XDD
10886725
Thank you so much!
Woot! With the contest results posted, I can finally break my comment embargo I was under as a judge. To put it briefly, I absolutely adored this fic. But to put it more lengthily...
For added fun, I took lots of notes while reading this entry. They're a bit scattered, so I can delete them upon request if the author feels I'm cluttering up the comment section with them. Nevertheless, Here they are:
10896676
I am thrilled with your notes and absolutely never want them to be deleted!!!!
Thank you so so much!
I'll be trying to add something new to the role swap community in the future, maybe based on this.
10896791
You have all my encouragement. Longform fics like this one are regrettably rare in the Roleswap Group. I myself have an unfinished one from last year's contest, and I think your entry has me inspired to revive it.
- MLP: FiM
- Adventure
Creativa's struggle against Order's tyranny isn't going well. Another humiliating defeat has her hurled her across time and space... and into the lap of a Moon Princess who was just starting to get bored of retirement.Whether its a slice of life snippet or another awesome adventure story, I look forward to any future additions to the Swapped Roles group. And hey, not to be too presumptuous, but the winner of this year's contest first took a swing at submissions during last year's prompts. That could be you in 2022. Ya never know.
Hello, I am one of the judges for the Reunions Swapped Roles contest, and I'm going to share the scores that I gave this story along with the comments. Note that I was just one of three judges, so these comments do NOT reflect what the other judges thought of the story.
Quality 2 / 5
There were some errors in the writing. For example, the second sentence in the story is a run-on. (I believe using a pair of em dashes would work the best.) While the story was understandable, sometimes I had to slow down or re-read certain sections.
I appreciate the song you wrote. Rarely do I find lyrics to read well, especially without music, but you did a good job here.
One of the issues I find with S1E01-02 rewrites that stick too closely to the original structure is that the pacing just doesn’t work as well in a written form. Everything just feels too rushed, and challenges are overcome too easily.
Roleswap originality/utilization 5 / 5
The way you made the magic here work is interesting. The illusions that your Mane 6 faced were all based time, and the city itself was suitably interesting. Luna and her time bunker were also good. The one thing I might have wanted more of was Starswirl doing some timey-wimey shenanigans, but that might have made the story needlessly complex.
Characters work was good. I like how everypony in the Mane 5 stayed true to themselves while embodying a different element. I admit I wasn’t able to figure out everypony’s element on my first time reading, but I chalk that up to my own inattentiveness. The situations presented were complex enough that multiple virtues were present in most of them, which I think led to the confusion. (Fluttershy’s loyalty, for example, could also have been her urging Eris to be honest.) Starswirl’s first appearance in the castle with Luna was honestly scary even if he just sort of loses in the end.
The story of evil Celestia was also some good work. It’s actually one of the more intriguing parts of this story, especially her relationship with Luna.
Having a draconequus be in Twilight’s role was interesting. Eris wasn’t Discord, but a few of those chaotic tendencies were still in the backstory.
Prompt utilization 2 / 3
Yes, this is a reunion between Luna and Starswirl, even though most of the story was focused on Eris and her adventures. That first scene with Starswirl was quite good. There’s so much history between Eris, Luna, and Starswirl (as well as Celestia), but we don’t get that much of those complex relationships in the meeting at the Clocktower. I think there is room to expand on the theme of reunions here.
10899451
I'll openly admit, seeing the quality at 2/5 hurts a lot.
But I knew from the day after I submitted my story and read the forum post that my story would not be approved of in the role swap community, so to save my own ego I'll just chalk it up to that.
10899495
Forum post? Nevermind that, I probably missed it. I found the swap itself to be one of the most creative ones I've read, on par with the third-place finisher. (The first and second place entries were, in my opinion, not as good as yours on the roleswap department.)
Don't let individual readers' opinions get you down, even my own. Especially my own. Write to tell stories you want to tell, and write to improve.
(I'm not even particularly good at writing myself, and if I were to judge my own published stories, I'd give most of them 3/5 and one of them 2/5.) Know that I didn't give a single entry 5/5 on quality, since I didn't end up reading anything that blew me away.
Also, I'm keeping an eye out on your story. (Fimfic better notify me if a sequel to a tracked story gets released.) I love this world you've built and think it has room for so many cool stories.
10899516
By forum post I mean the revelation that the role swap community has a generally poor opinion of episode 1/2 retreads. It makes sense in retrospect but I hadn't thought it through before writing the story.
Just for you, I'll post the first chapter of the next story in the series on Thursday hehe (okay, for you and for Casket)
10899531
Oh. Hmmm. I see.
And first chapter of a sequel on Thursday? Cool, I'm excited!
10899554
10896676
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/499264/mirage-on-the-horizon
I love seeing a new story by Hope. And it's such a good story!
10901909
And I put up the first chapter of the sequel!
Do the Mane Six still exist in this universe?
10904740
I mean, everyone but Twilight Sparkle. Twilight exists but isn't in this story.
This is excellent in all respects except not having enough Luna. But then the original two-parter didn't have enough Celestia.
Hopefully the sequel will rectify this. I especially hope to see some kind of hint why Luna decided to take Eris on as her personal student, what thing Eris said or did that gave Luna the idea that she might be redeemable. Because not even an immortal princess has the time to save everybody.
A fun spin on the opening. There's some outstanding bits here, from intriguingly shuffled Elements to tantalizing glimpses of the different circumstances that led each Bearer to embody a different virtue, to say nothing of all the other changes to the timeline. Father Time is a fascinating villain in how much impact he leaves given his relatively minimal screentime... and I suppose you could say the same of Nightmare Moon.
In all, a lovely read, though I have to wonder where Twilight fits into this timeline. In any case, on to the sequel!
11164337
Thank you! I'll continue working on the sequel, and I look forward to you reading it!