This story is a sequel to Seconds to spare
Eris has been the student of Luna and element of Harmony for only a year or so, enjoying a new adventurous life in the long cycle of death and rebirth she is used to. But a ghost from the far flung past, Luna's once sister who Eris broke, has escaped her stony prison and seeks to return the favor.
A sequel to Seconds to Spare, the most apparent role-swap involved here is between "Discord" and Celestia, here Eris and Mirage. But in the previous story it was also revealed that Luna has taken Celestia's spot, Starswirl the Bearded took Luna/Nightmare Moon's spot, and all of the elements of harmony took alternate ponies.
Chapters (10)
Oh Lordy, it was a past life of Eris’s who destroyed Celestia’s sanity in this AU? The reincarnation backstory of our heroine just keeps producing fresh, organic drama. Very exciting indeed.
This is some powerful shit. That image where Spike makes a million pancakes and then dissolves into sand? That's terrifying. Good job.
10901794
Thanks! I will frame this comment because the way you phrased it pleases me to no end!
Mirage's name is very fitting. I'm afraid of what she can do with her ability to make make ponies not trust each other (or themselves).
Gah! How did I miss this fic's initial update?? No time to waste; I should've left thoughts on this chapter back when it was first published.
When Sweetie Belle lamented Rarity telling her she "wasn't real," I thought it was a Sweetie Bot moment. As in Sweetie is a robot in this continuity, who is nurtured when the world is normal but shunned after Mirage alters her surrogate sister's brain.
Obviously this chapter proves I was jumping the gun with that assumed reference. Hope I'm forgiven, because this is a wacky plot in an AU that is already kinda wacky by default. Onto things that actually happen in the story.
The repeated 'Hey Eris' mantra got delightfully sinister the more often it was repeated. Reality is explicitly untrustworthy in this fic, and when we get an actual reliable element its something uncanny and malicious. Excellent tone establishment. Ditto for the sand motif that matches Mirage's name, sun powers, and presumably smothering attitude towards the everypony in general.
Speaking of Mirage, its a curious choice to keep her unseen and unheard two whole chapters in. Certainly her villainy is noticeable via the effects of her spellcasting and the obvious dread Eris feels while spouting exposition about her, Even so, this is a big contrast from Father Time's fic. He got his hooves dirty immediately.
The past-life romance angle is another odd choice, but its clearly something that will be paid of thematically later on. The "Nice Dress" (another creepy line) is symbolic of Mirage's infatuation, so something will most definitely happen to it as Eris and Mirage's antagonism ramps up.
Speaking of symbolic props, Rarity's coffee is probably important thematic foreshadowing. When she's depressed, she pours it on her fabric and wallows in the fragility of prettiness. After Eris (literally) snaps her out of it though, Rarity thinks the stain is a bold artistic choice. This little change of perspective between "its ruined' and "its now good in its own way" probably applies to Mirage's explicitly broken mind. And also to her alleged ex-romance with Eris. Perspective may be Mirage's weapon, but that sword might cut both ways in the story's climax. Will have to see what plays out.
This chapter was a cleverly calculated yanking of the rug.
The reader gets a grip on the situation at pretty much the same pace Eris does. Get to a friend's place, Mirage issues a proxy accusation through the corrupted friend's mouth, then the obstacle is beaten with a rebuttal and a finger snap. Eris even gets complacent in the routine ("blah blah blah, stop it"), so of course the story's progression takes a swerve.
It's openly apparent that every time Eris fires up her magic to free a friend, her defenses weaken. Mirage's sunbaked summery reality turned to spring during the Rarity encounter, then autumn in the Applejack one. It'll probably be winter with the cliffhanger Fluttershy snap, and given how harrowing the encounter was with Mirage in autumn, the next scene is definitely going to be intense.
Re-reading Rarity's corrupted dialogue, then AJ's, and now Fluttershy's I realize Mirage isn't as non grata in this fic as I'd initially thought. The insults getting lobbed at Eris aren't roundabout thematics; Mirage is leveling direct accusations. And the worrisome part is that they're getting harder for Eris to argue against.
Truth be told, Eris's reincaration shtick is hefty enough to carry a story all on its own. We know from this fic and the previous one that she's done terrible things. Monstrous things. Borderline unforgivable if the damage to Mirage is a bad as it appears. Eris's defense is that she isn't that person this time around, but the more she leans on her chaos powers and anger, the more she's slipping. Mirage scores another victory every time Eris snaps, both in the emotional and physical sense. There's a horrible creeping possibility that Mirage's rampage might be creating its own justification.
This is getting heavy. Too heavy. Lets end the comment on a joke.
Such language in the presence of a lady!
11007541
I love this analysis of the story so far, and I can't wait for more! hehehe
11007575
Ooohohoho yes, yes, I love the joke! I also love that the sense of creeping dread is coming across nicely. I'm hoping to get together the money to commission some cover art for this story, which would feature Eris, the mane 5, but only a faint outline in the middle of them all, cradling Eris with the suggestion that the outline is Mirage.
11007613
Looking forward to it. Both the pic and the newer chapters.
In the meantime, there are a smattering of Eris pics already floating around the interwebs. If you wanted one as a placeholder pic, a generic cover catches more eyes than none at all.
EDIT: Wow. That was fast.
11007621
Hhehe I happened to have a pic on hand. Still hoping I can scrape together the money for the commission
Oh, this is very good stuff. Mirage is far crueler than Discord. It's not enough to simply turn ponies on their heads and drive them mad. She wants to bring the ugliest side of them into the light for all to see and despair. Ironic that a self-styled alicorn of deception is making such use of harsh truths, but again, she's a far worse monster than the one whose role she's filling.
You really did a number on that one, Eris. Good luck.
11166936
Thank you so much! I look forward to writing more of this!
11007575
up to 7 chapters now, and I'm working on the 8th!
There is the question of why Mirage is letting all of this unfold. I think she may be experiencing some inner turmoil in her own right.
For now, some outstanding emotional catharsis here.
A fascinating tale of toxic relationships and the hard road to being better. Heck, it's a hard road to determining what "better" even is. It's a good thing friends can help ease the journey. Thank you for this.
11286288
You're welcome, I'm very very glad you read it and enjoyed it.
I like the character development in this. Congratulations on another completed story.
11310710
Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it, I figured I should really kick up the story a bit if I wanted to continue the role swap idea.
Ah the old contradictory metaphor. Turn of the millennium rock songs love this trope. “ "l'm not sick, but I’m not well,” or "I’m here, but I’m really gone.” In addition to providing pathos for our protagonist, it also solidifies Eris in my mind as a 90s alt girl.
Eris’s past crimes were teased in fic 1, as was at least one of her deaths at Mirage’s hooves. Now we see that expanded upon and explored. As is only natural for a sequel.
Of course the Pinkie encounter is the subversive one.
The final sand mention is proof that Mirage is winning. If I were to make a corny assertion about story structure, I’d say we’re nearing the Act 2 Low Point.
I’m getting the vibe that all of Eris’s affected friends are embodiments of the five stages of grief. Will have to keep an eye on them as I read further. If they are, Rainbow Dash is definitely acceptance.
Aha, the reveal of Eris's worst sin. We knew the what, but not the why. Also, this does add weight to the first fic’s flashback scene of Mirage killing Eris. Frankenstein undone by his scorned monster. I can almost imagine Mirage quoting Mary Shelley’s book verbatim:
Also, the symbolism of the dress is obvious: Mirage is forcing it onto Eris just like Eris forced the Mirage persona onto Celestia. It's too early to tell however, whether or not Mirage is doing this to prompt introspection on Eris’s part. Exactly how far gone our monster is remains to be seen.
At last we have it. Our villain’s ultimate gambit. Eris forcibly destroyed and remade her into something new. Now she’s daring Eris to voluntarily undo changes. Not to Mirage though. To herself. The central theme of this fic is change, for purposes either noble or diabolical.
Fluttershy is the one who remains ahead of the curve. First catching on to Eris’s past sins, and now empathizing by ruminating about this meta trial of self worth.
This chapter ends with the natural implication that Celestia too, is fighting from the inside. Mirage is insane, but forcing Eris through this growth is what a psychologist would call a Cry For Help. A subconscious urge to abort this current self-destructive path. A self-harmer will ‘forget’ to hide their cuts. An alcoholic, will conveniently leave their bottle in view. For Celestia, she’s definitely prompting Eris practice saving her friends, so when the time comes for the inevitable showdown, Eris will be ready to defeat Mirage without force. Guess this answers the dress ambiguity from the previous chapter.
The fact that altered Rainbow Dash is the one talking sense muddles the message a bit. Mirage is a villain, but unlocking Rainbow's rational side seems to have been a benefit.
I’m fully committed to my Cry For Help theory now. Mirage is giving Eris all the room needed to practice because, as that last sentence indicates, Eris needs to resolve her own baggage before she’s fully ready to save Celestia.
The structure of this fic feels like it should be tedious, but it’s not. Mostly I’m curious whether Rainbow Dash is going to get ‘fixed’ or left as she is. First though, we have the others to work through.
A bit on-the-nose for foreshadowing, but for a fic whose last four chapters have asked the reader to process four different flavors of trauma, it's probably warranted to provide a freebie. Before Eris lets go of Mirage, she needs to let go of the part of herself that created the monster.
Aha. There’s our loophole in the ethical stickiness of regressing Rainbow Dash. Her state is the result of a Faustian bargain. She’s objectively happier, but it's due to a decision she made while under duress. It was for Rarity’s sake she altered herself, and it is with Rarity’s assurance she learned the alterations aren’t necessary.
Alright. All the practice runs are complete. On to the real challenge.
Similar to the one that Mirage locked Eris in and immolated her in the first fic’s flashback? Guess we’ll see whether this confrontation concludes any better than that one.
Oh, we’re just brushing past Pinkie shouldering the reincarnation curse? M’kay.
Mirage herself is more cowardly and broken in person than she is when speaking through her possessed proxies. Makes sense, since she’s clearly meant to be analogous to an abusive victim or an addict. No available bluster in the presence of her personal demon.
Have you ever played or heard of a game called The Sexy Brutale? It’s structure is uncannily similar to this story. Past lives, physical manifestations of guilt, self-imposed psychological torture, and a climax that takes place at a secluded cabin with the warped living memory of a past love. Perhaps these are just classic, common traits for fantasy stories that mirror a mentally ill protagonist’s mind. If not though, and the references are indeed intentional, I like it. Sexy Brutale is, much like this fic, a banger of an emotional journey.
Good old POV shift. An efficient, effective way to add spice to a scene.
It’s a difficult paradox, isn't it? Stories need to end in ways that are satisfying, but to do that, the final plot point must be built to, making it predictable. It was a foregone conclusion that Mirage would be expelled and Celestia would be reborn. The same was true for this story’s prequel, where Father Time was in the same situation. In both cases, I think it was the right call to end the fics with hard cutoffs and no denouement. The action is complete, and the reader is already emotionally tapped out. The only closure needed for this particular tale was confirmation that Celestia’s memory has been wiped. Her trauma is gone, but so is everything else. We will no doubt see her develop and grow whenever this AU gets any additional stories. As such, this is a hopeful ending rather than an outright happy one.
Aka, the best type of ending. In my not at all subjective, personal opinion. There’s also still the dangling thread of Pinkie Pie having apparently taken in Eris’s reincarnation curse. Or maybe eating the apple destroyed the magic entirely. That too, is a plot point that can be saved for another day. Until such a day comes, if ever, this is where we leave Eris and her friends.
You say your fear is you won't see my face again.
I swear that you're wrong,
I promise this ain’t the end.
I told you how I see it all as just a mirage.
It’s just a mirage.
It's just a mirage…
11504837
I hadn't heard of Sexy Brutale before! It sounds intense and my kind of thing, I may give it a go!