- Member Since 21st Nov, 2019
- offline last seen Feb 4th, 2022
one-big-twinkie
hey paisanos! I am just an italian stallion who writes grimdark shit. but don't take me too seriously lol.
one-big-twinkie
Joined 21st Nov, 2019 ·
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Gonna leave a like just for that chapter title
media0.giphy.com/media/ch1Z4rUWBZBnO/giphy.gif
Read it. There's a few critiques I've got but the subject matter isn't really my cup of tea. The spike climax was a nice touch.
Not going to down it for people that like it. But as someone with disabled relatives this seems more an outright attack on people less fortunate than an attempt at clop.
I see the line "Just thirty odd foot of grunts" more than once in here. Did you mean "thirty odd seconds later"?
Best of luck with your future writing
Hey uh, wtf even is "choogled" and what is your weird obsession with it?
10736655
I know that using the phrase "thirty odd foot of grunts later" to denote the passage of time my seem a little weird, but it is intended.
Not trying to attack the handicapped, just trying to add a bit of edgy humor. Although I can tell from the dislike ration that many people do not see the joke.
In any case I salute you for reading this before aspiring to have an opinion. You are a rarity.
10736666
A word used to describe a certain type of speech, if I have to choogle it out loud.
Up next?
Ch. 2 - Me and the boys becoming fathers.
Ch. 3 - Me and the boys paying foal support.
If I wanted to see a blonde retard get fucked I'd watch Paris Hilton's sex tape
Couldn't get past Grayskull. But then its a comedy... corny holds its hand here.
10736765
And there's a reason everyone forgot about that seconds after it happened.
10736680
Bullshit.
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/choogle#English
To use as a Verb as you have been using, it's a slang term for having a good time. Urban Dictionary lists further clarification, but it is *not* a form of speech; whoever told you that has been pulling your leg.
Also, I get the impression that this 'fic was just an opportunity to use the phrase “You like that don’t you, you fucking retard?” and actually have it contextually make sense. Looking past the obvious metally-handicapped jokes, I feel that the remaining humour is shallow, and doesn't do much to draw attention away from the fact that, paid for or not, they're essentially raping a non-willing participant (a fact only glossed over at the end).
You can probably write a decent fanfic that entails the rape of someone that's mentally-challenged, but my advice is, if you do, you go in *hard* on the dark aspect, and don't try to stuff much in, if at all, in the name of comedy.
Just because you can write a story does not mean you should.
10736761
not quite, although you got the naming convention of the future chapters down pat.
I was on the fence about continuing this, but given the reception this has gotten, I think I have no choice, but to produce more chapters.
Not sure what to think of this.
“I can tell from the dislike ratio that people just didn’t see the joke”
Okay so first off, no, as a non-con writer it’s just always gonna be like that.
And secondly, as an autistic person, maybe don’t say bigoted things and then say “it was just a joke/it was edgy humor”?? Edgy humor is saying something “isn’t everyone’s cup of liquidized dead baby” instead of saying something “isn’t everyone’s cup of tea”. Making fun of disabled people/ using them as the butt of a joke is just rude.
I haven’t read it, don’t plan to, so I won’t leave a dislike. I appreciate having more non on work on the site. Don’t appreciate the transphobic implications in the summary, nor how blatant it is that derpy gets treated worse for being autistic, or whatever other problem she has. Again, I haven’t read it, so I won’t claim to know if you have her an ailment or some other form of neurodivergence. But either way it’s handled poorly.
Review: ignoring subject matter as that is not relevant to my Review. The story jumps around from 1st to 3rd back to 1st person quite a few times, several times mid paragraph.
This causes the flow of the story to hitch and pause rather than flow smoothly.
Keeping it strictly objective to story form and Grammer I could not recommend this story to anyone.
I may not like it, but I cannot say it wasn't good, despite the words and phrases I'd never seen before.
10736998
It's heavily implied that she has Downs Syndrome.
10736856
It doesn’t work based on either the noun or adjective meanings provided, which is really saying how badly this got mangled any attempt to use the word. I can understand that being experimental in English is tons of fun but this is just stupid.
10737069
Some people prefer to pump out disgusting fetishization of adult rape as a metaphor for what losers they are. Not everyone is like you where they decide to dump simulated child rape out in order to showcase how worthless they are.
Stay deranged, Princess CP.
10737209
https://m.You know, I’m sure some part of the internet would classify me as an SJW with my beliefs and stuff are but what’s up with this website lately.
“Oh no how could you do rape stories”
Like seriously why the hell is everyone so up in arms about porn and any semblance of dark in clop lately.
Hell I’m sure if headless rainbow posted something everyone would lose there minds.
Anyways as a fan of your last story twinkle I would have liked a bit less edgy humor and just edgy if you can’t make the joke land. Clearly it didn’t hit the mark. When it comes to dark you can be dark but you still gotta be respectful of what your joking about. If it comes across like you wouldn’t take it seriously in the real world then there’s a problem.
Anyways everyone needs to chill, god damn.
Ok, letting the story set for a bit I think I know why and maybe for others, i have issues with the story.
I feel like I’ve read similar stories in the past, specifically about how dumber someone is compared to the rest, but one difference in those is how the rapists are treated in the narrative. For me the narration of the story feels like it agrees in how dumb derpy is. Like it’s just obvious that’s how it be. It’s always apparent just how evil the rapists are in these stories. I’m not getting that here. If that makes since? Like the edgyness of the story doesn’t have anything to say other then being edgy. It should be showcasing how fucked up the three are for doing this but it doesn’t do that. In the end they didn’t rape derpy because they don’t feel like they did. The dialogue is fine (though not personally a fan of how mentally challenged Derpy is in this. It should have been a different pony), the events that happen are fine. It’s just the narration that is causing me problems.
Idk. Maybe I made since.
Like this wasn’t an issue with the Sombra story.
10737308
So, I could type out the response I would give to a reasonable and intelligent human being who is worthy of respect...
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/569690462521131018/824438780647833641/image0.png
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/569690462521131018/824438780840116314/image1.png
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/569690462521131018/734271149579436082/bird_of_truth.jpg
...or I could give the appropriate response to you, who is neither of those things, and loves to flaunt how much they think sexual abuse is hot.
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/569690462521131018/734098317079871528/unwashed_opinion.jpg
Have a nice time in mum's basement, sweetie.
10737554
Oh no, I’ve been foiled again. Whatever should I do with my life.
I mean, if you like actual go tough the whole list you see it’s not all rape stuff but that’s fine. And the main reason all of the recent stuff is non-con is because I really haven’t liked a lot of the vanilla stuff over the recent years (and some of old stories that are newly put in the list are just ones I had forgotten to put in the list)
But I don’t know why I need to defend myself to you. I like rape stories because that’s my fetish. Kill me. You don’t get to kinkshame me about a kink that’s really popular even amongst the ladies. There a variety of reasons why someone in particular might like it. Maybe they just like the BDSM aspect of it. Maybe they like the feral aspect of it. Maybe it’s to help cope over a very real a traumatic event and it helps them get though it.
I don’t know if you think all rape fetisists actually fetishize the real thing but let me make something absolutely clear here.
Rapists, real rapists, should all burn in fucking hell. I’ve made similar comments before but because I know what rape does to a person because of the porn I consume I hate them with every fiber of my being. Actually REAL VICTIMS of sexual assault get my undying sympathy. I would divert the train tracks to the rapist in a heartbeat. And I hate the death penalty as a principal but to me rapists, and add pedos to the list, are not human to me.
So you don’t get to call me unintelligent over something I take VERY seriously in real life and I can put down any joy or enjoyment I get reading pony rape stories the moment I see or read about it in real life. Because it’s fantasy and not real life. The most easiest thing to realize when it comes to porn.
So get off you moral high horse and fuck off.
But before you fuck off you’ve now made it apparent you hate rape stories and condem all those who consume them so why the fuck are you reading this story im the first place. Do you want to king shame those who enjoy it. Is that your Jack off material? Shaming those who dare enjoy something you don’t. Because your such an upstanding individual and are superior because you don’t Jack it to fictional ponies fictionally raping each other. Because it’s not real and should never be treated as such.
I mean go ahead. Skim though my list, I haven’t hidden it because I don’t care too. I don’t feel guilty for liking what I like (except maybe any foalcon as that no longer does anything for me as much as it did in the past. I’ve never be a fan of lolicon but foalcon initially didn’t feel the same to me but have since changed my stance on that)
Maybe I haven’t like anything vanilla because I’ve go so far down the rabbit hole that nothing does it for me unless it’s so type of dark fantasy porn. I’m willing to admit that. Maybe it’s all because I’m still a middle 20s virgin that as soon as I have real sex it will stop. Idk.
All I know is don’t go around all high and mighty king shaming those who enjoy something on there own time without affecting anyone in real life.
Nah. I’m just a loser who jacks it to pony rape porn that will burn in hell because it’s at a sin. Yep it’s that simple.
Edit: read your most recent blog post and wanna say hope it gets better. I might be telling you to fuck off but I can still wish you good luck. I personally don’t suffer from any metal issues that I know of (you know besides the “liking the rape porn” if you consider that one) but still hate to see someone else go through it. None of it sounds like fun. I can certainly see why you would dislike this story in particular. So for that I apologize. I should have realized for you it was more personal.
Doesn’t excuse your later moral shaming of me but ah, I don’t hold it that much against you. Everyone can be a bad judge of character at first.
It never ceases to amaze me how made fun of bronies were and still are about all forms of the show. Like outside of the fandom mentions of “clopping” is an audible groan to the outside but within this “shamed” group of pony fuckers is an additional group of shamers who, while being shamed themselves, have decided to shame half the group there in. To feel better about themselves idk. I’m pretty sure if you have to mark the check of “did you fap to ponies” at least once you should theoretically go to hell because it’s a catch all. Either you did it or didn’t.
It reminds me of the asspulls made on /mlp/ about how “we totally aren’t like those degenerate like furries who want to fuck dogs and cats (actually dressed as but who cares about semantics. Those who look down upon don’t care what the actual reason is and will just shame regardless of it). Were above then and like to read and watch ponies wanting to fuck” because that’s any different.
The hypocrisy found in this fandom has been almost enough to make me bounce and never come back. Only the show itself managed to keep me tethered but since it’s been over that urge to leave and never come back rises again again (I’m at the point where the only reason I’m here is for porn as non of the stories I care about are actually updating other wise there is nothing for me here.
10736998
I did not mean to appear transphobic in the summary, I was just saying the futa is not my thing.
I think this was a damn good rape story, you made good use of the canon characters. I mean they felt like in the show (except for the rape of course :D ) and you stick to the whole concept for the entire length of the story :)
I already wrote this before, but I want to write it again: I hate to treat handicapped people differently from other people. If it is good to write a fic in which twilight gets raped then it is good to write a fic in which Derpy gets raped.
And (at least for me) the whole point of reading a rape fic is to read something different from all this vanilla stuff, right? :D
Also, I don't feel bad for the characters, because, even if they are very well written, they are far away from the beloved characters of my favorite pony based cartoon series ^^
I mean I started to feel really bad for Derpy the moment Gallus was threatening with that muffin (because that was a thing that could have really happened to Derpy and would be soooo cruel :D ) but also Gallus showed his "I'm too cool for this shit" side and showed mercy.
I would really like to read more of this story, maybe Derpy indeed gets pregnant? Maybe she is getting raped by her boss and/or coworkers while she is on her internship at Ponyville post office?
I personally like the story line, but wasn't fond of you having Sandbar,Gallus & Spike knocking up a slower minded mare. Personally I'd have them knock up gilda in a form of punishment for being a jerk to evrypony else in Ponyville when she visited.
10737811
Literally the first few things are sexual abuse. It doesn't matter what most of it is because you have absolutely no moral ground to stand on, you absolute piece of shit.
You don't have to defend yourself to anybody because all you are is a worthless and indefensible waste of space who uses pseudo-intellectualist dribble to cope with the fact that you're a degenerate nobody who doesn't want to believe they have deep-seated problems. You are one of the thousands on this site with the same problems and one of the millions in the world just like you. Even Princess CP right in these same comment sections is just like you.
I don't think I'd be the best one for the job.
You can go cry in the corner with your faux moral buzzword, but sweetie, everyone is justified in shaming you when you're attracted to sexual abuse in any form. Trying to reach for it being 'popular' doesn't mean it's a deep-seated problem.
Wow, of course, have to reach for the 'reeeee kinkshaming' you resort to hacking up every excuse about documented maladaptive coping mechanisms being okay because you're unable to have any idea what you're talking about.
You might even be one of the billions, at this rate, because there is nothing you can say that would make anything you say any less of a sign that you and those like you are deeply disturbed individuals in a society that brushes little wastes-of-space of your ilk under the rug.
Eh, at least you get to rot there.
It's very cute that you think you can divert how obvious your problems are into a fake moral tirade. Holy shit, it's almost like there wasn't any 'retard' in a story about a developmentally disabled character being sexually abused: the only retard present was you all along!
Thank you for pretending to be an intelligent human being. You aren't fooling anybody.
It's absolutely amazing how 'I don't fetishize sexual abuse because I am able to make basic moral judgments' is a high horse to you. But then again, those kinds of things always are to your types.
Lmao I've literally been commenting on almost every fucking badfic on this site since 2017. A story with this poor of writing ability and getting this many downvotes is almost as hilarious as the little wankstain in the comment section who thinks a few pervs upvoting him means he can sleep better at night.
Oops, it looks like you just exposed that you're entirely ignorant about simulated child porn, among literally everything else about why violent desires don't necessarily become negated through fetishizing them.
I'm so shocked that you exposed yourself as an ignorant and pathetic nobody who is unable to defend wholly corrupt moral positions.
Eugh, someone is absolutely rotten.
Holy fuck, at least most of your types just circle back to fucking 'reee much kinks!!!! your KINKSHAME BAD BAD!!!!!11111!!!' and then do whatever else to throw up on your keyboard and post it. But no, you're just showing that you're an actually deranged individual who feels the need to describe that they're a deeply desensitized little nonce in denial to a complete stranger on the internet.
I'd say that I hope nobody ever touches you, but hoping it would imply that I think that can ever happen in the first place.
Well, at least you cycled back to the usual 'u cant k-kinkshame m-me th-thats bu-bullying' to help you cope.
And there we conclude on the usual downplaying and deflecting.
You can't be morally shamed if you don't have morals to begin with. I don't accept whatever little ass-pats that you're trying to give, because those kinds of words will never have meaning spoken by someone like you. Nothing you say could ever mean anything to me, but oh fuck, you sure are something to laugh at, being the same old joke that drifts through fandom culture for the nth time.
Judging by your comments, you clearly had a lonely life before the pandemic. Good. I have a feeling it's going to stay that way.
10741276
Man. Get a load of this guy. Sheesh.
I don’t care if you accept my “little ass-pats” it’s clear I’m not the issue and and you have some deep seeded issue with this stuff and are just using me as a branching off point.
I’d advise doing some research on this subject then none at all. The issue isn’t king shaming here as you so evidently pointed at as thinking this promotes or glorifies real sexual abuse is the wrong mindset.
What next. You going to blame violent video games?
Your passive aggressiveness doesn’t really phase me and I’m going to continue hoping you get though your mental disorder and hope it doesn’t cause problems because I’m being the better person here. That’s how you should use the moral high ground, it shouldn’t be user to tear others down. It should be used to bring others up.
So sorry for your situation.
(I’m being nice partial because I know it will annoy you and because I genuinely wish you good will)
I legitimately believe that ice thinks me and others just see a female and want to apparently rape them on the spot or something. Like it’s this deep seated uncontrollable urge that we should all die from or something and that we can’t function as normal human beings or something.
I don’t know if I find it funny or sad that when it comes to real sexual abuse my language is so much worse that what he is using against me.
Like it’s not pretty at all.
This is one of the first links when putting in “why is rape porn a thing” and it has the statistic that really puts in perspective of my “even the ladies like it” comment.
Ice really be saying that 62% of women are losers who glorify sexual abuse. Ignoring the fact that women can rape men, as that’s a whole another can of worms that shouldn’t be ignored normally, the majority of women are degenerate losers apparently.
The article goes on and it’s good thing to point out that it’s about the same with video game violence with how much it has correlation with the real thing. As in absolutely nothing. No matter what study is done for both it’s never leads to actual violence or rape. So Ice and those like them are getting up in arms for literally nothing.
You shouldn’t be morally outraged over violent video games and rape fantasy. Fantasy is the word here.
Lets just say I was scum as Ice claims and actually sexual assaulted someone. The studies would probably show how I mentality go to the situation to do something so horrible would be the same as any other sexual assaulter and would find I would have done it anyways regardless if I had read pony rape porn.
That’s not to say there are zero overlap with actual rapists and us rape fantasy lovers. It brings up the discussion of foalcon or lolicon in the rest of the internet. A much different situation but one where the discussion is similar.
Studies done so far have not found those who enjoy them to be individuals who are sexual attracted to children. Of course there isn’t zero of those who enjoy and are actually pedos but it’s always looked at and it turns out that disturbed person was always a pedo.
The foalcon situation is something else to be discussed and analyzed and I’ll admit I have less experience in the subject compared to rape fantasy, as that’s my thing, but for the most part rape fantasy and foal or loli con fans are removed from the in secret rapists and pedos actually enjoying it.
The discussion that could be had from this is do we continue to enjoy our fetishes while those who are deprived enjoy it as well?
I think it’s he answer is yes because the thing that separates me from someone like Rapist Brock Turner or the other piles of human garbage is me and others are able to distinguish fact from fiction.
If your already unable to separate the real word from fantasy then that was always a thing. Reading the porn online never would have changed that. Your already a rapist, pedo garbage human being that was going to sexual assault someone.
The two groups are not interchangeable. You can’t blame something for the actual real cases of sexual assault. Those assholes are always going to be around and it’s up to us from catching them before they can act.
Whatever. I’m sure whatever response Ice is going to give will be dismissive as the last ones. As I said I take this stuff very seriously and have done my research. This isn’t the only article I’ve read on the subject. I find the topic interesting alone don’t just do it so I have ammo for explaining my fetish. I just like to be informed for my own sake.
10741751
The results show that 62 percent of women have had a “rape fantasy.”
That not quite true
62% of women ADMITTED to having a rape fantasy. the real number is certainly higher.
Also fun fact, women are more than twice as likely to orgasm from rape than by consensual sex.
10741702
Lmao imagine thinking I don't have a background in this sort of shit.
No because I've done enough research and asked around enough to know that depiction and fetishization aren't the same issue and that sexual violence and violence don't have the same overlap.
You are literally unable to be the better person. Holy shit, you're a fucking riot.
I'm sorry for whatever family was stuck with a degenerate burden like you for over twenty years. It's despicable, really.
10741877
comments section is getting clogged up like a Dutch kickboxing tournament with your pearl-clutching. the comment section is meant for critique and Brony analysis of the fiction you have not read, yet still aspire to have an opinion on. it is not for the war and peace version of your inane opinion.
Italian man: "Writes MLP fanfiction"
Karen: "this attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed"
10741898
The comment section is to tell you that if your story's quality was a fight, it'd be the battle of Waterloo and you're fucking Napoleon.
10741902
elaborate.
Given the fact that you have not read any of this I assume the battle of you describe is an alternate version of waterloo, where napoleon arrives to the battle field only to find that the 7th coalition army had all slept in, and were nowhere to be found.
Lay off the snooze button Arthur Wellesley.
10741951
I literally read all of this lmaoooo. Shitfics like this are a riot for reading.
10741954
and what did you think of it? kinda doubt you read what with you being so sparse with details.
What exactly is wrong with it?. because you detailed analysis which goes no deeper than "shit sux yo" does not fit your grandiose comparisons between yourself and historical events.
10741970
There are stories on this site that are better at being bad, and most of them are actually funny in their own right. This one isn't.
I think you need an editor or three, and badly. This is barely readable. Even the title of the story and chapter is grammatically incorrect. Your description is ticking off every 'don't do this ever' example for beginning authors. That is unless you're trying to write poorly on purpose. The characterization, sense of the scene, and pacing are absolutely abysmal. You have no idea how to appropriately use a comma and stick niche, bizarre slang that doesn't have anything to do with something understandable (like genre-specific jargon) in the story throughout it liberally. Oh, and you can't even use the correct definition of that slang. The idea of the story itself, of a disabled character being prostituted in a backward mental institution and raped and having her favorite food trashed afterward, could make for a convincing horror in the hands of a skilled author. Even some of the jokes (he would last less time than a box of crayons in a room filled with hungry special-ed foals) could be appropriate in a self-aware shitfic that satirizes this sort of edgy dreck, perhaps as a callback to a lot of classic edgy trollfics of 2012-14. You did this in total sincerity, complete with clunky and overlong sentences. You fucking failed.
10741993
the lack of a comma in my title and chapter name was not an error, I just thought it flowed better without one. I agree that my usage of commas could use improvement, although I am sure most would agree that "unreadable is an exaggeration.
i would also like to point out the passage in which you say I do not know how to use commas — does not contain a comma before the 'and'.
When you refer to "niche slang" I assume you are talkin' bout' the choogling? And I will have you know that that is a perfectly appropriate speech tag. I have received this criticism before, but Shakespeare made up words, so why should not I partake of that sacred bargain, and engross in fabricated tongues?.
Also have you seen my other story? right up your alley I am sure. And since you did such a good job critiquing this here, I sure you would do a good job here also.
Keep on chooglin friend.
10742067
Your chapter titles and story titles defy the bare bones of how to format titles. They actually flow worse because the way you chose to have them shows you don't know how titles work at all in English.
No, it hardly is. You cram about four sentences into every careless run-on that you bang out.
In that instance, it did not need one. The word 'and' is not always preceded or followed by a comma. It's almost like if you were a competent writer, you would know these things!
Plus, if we're really picking out comment grammar over story grammar, then you're borderline illiterate.
Except it isn't, and this is just another instance of you being proven wrong. The proper usage and origin of the word were pointed out to you in your own comment section. Choogle is not a word that describes anything related to speech in either definition. It also is incredibly niche, seeing as its sole origin comes from an American band and does not appear to have any common usage.
He didn't just makeup words outright. If you actually examined phrases and words we use that Shakespeare can be credited for, most of them were derived from already existing roots or words. He was just giving them a unique punch. You're not doing that. What you're doing is taking a piece of already-existing slang and slapping it into your story liberally without knowing what it means, and it means absolutely nothing to the readers because you're unable to convey anything with it.
Here's the thing: if you're going to be a bad writer, at least be bad in a way that's enjoyable. You're just bad, and you're not even self-aware enough to grasp why you're bad.
I'm not reading your other low-effort piece of shit.
10742161
What the buck did you just fucking say about my English, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Clop-writing, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Derpibooru, and I have over 300 confirmed favorites. I am trained in gorilla wording and I'm the top writer in the entire omega-verse Wattpad group. You are nothing to me but just another critic. I will wipe you the buck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Equestria, mark my bucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, bucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're bucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can write clop in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my phone keypad. Not only am I extensively trained in freeform writing, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the brony fandom, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your bucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're bucking dead, kiddo.
10742190
If only you were capable of being funny.
10742196
Idk, I found it pretty funny. Gave me a chuckle.
I just want one last thing to say. Not to toot my own horn. In real life, outside of this fandom my family and friends hate how nice I am sometimes. If I were a pony it be futtershy. I’ve be told to stop being such a doormat sometimes and be a bit more assertive. I hate being rude or anything of the sort.
I think that might be why I like it so much. I’m not dominant in real life so in comfort of my own time i get off on a little bit dark stuff from time. Granted I only enjoy so much dark, as anything like gore or snuff I’m not a part of. I like that “vanilla rape” if you’d understand.
I just find it funny that Ice over here thinks I’m the spawn of satan for this harmless act.
I now understand why “it’s always the shy ones” is a thing. I’m totally that one.
I now have an awesome fic idea where fluttershy goes down a rabbit hole of rape porn and has a big freak out and questions if she is normal for getting off to the idea. Hell, maybe it could help in making some out there understand the fetish better if it was a cute pony who was masterbating to rape porn.
I’m not a good writer so anyone is free in taking the idea as I feel it could be a good comedy story while actually being informative about what we do in our freetime.
Just a side note, in some parts of the world porn itself is trashed and look down upon just as Ice had done in this comment section.
Ok last comment.
All in all, story a 6/10. Could be better not terrible.
lol so many triggered over a buncha words. anywho pretty good. you used choogled alot
It was wrong of you to write this in a way that I enjoyed very much. Now I'm the bad guy.
This Comment section is a whole ass journey from beginning to end
I haven't even started reading the story yet, and I'm already entertained by the comment section. This was a great read.
After reading the story, I have to agree that some of the phrases you've used are a bit off-putting, and seeing numbers (4) instead of their word form (four) always bothered me, but that's always just been personal preference of my own. I don't doubt "choogling" is a thing, but I think it would have been better to keep it as a one-time use only.
As for the subject matter? Eh, it's fiction. I don't really see much reason to attack the author over something that isn't real, and is very clearly meant to represent an AU of characters in a darker sort of way. Honestly, I thought this was pretty creative, and I think you could produce some really entertaining stories when you improve your style some more.
Happy writing!
Когда будет продолжение?