Spike wonders if his friends are truly his friends after some of the townsponies mock him, Starlight helps him think otherwise.(Takes place after Fame and Misfortune)
I am a big fan of Starlight Glimmer most of my stories center around her. I do crossovers as well.
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The most unsung useful thing Spike does? Kept Twilight from growing up into a jerk, the responsibility she had in caring for Spike shaped Twilight into who she is. He helps keep her grounded, even during the Smarty Pants debacle who was it that called in Celestia to help? Spike.
10552127
Actually Twilight’s pretty nice on her own, but yeah with Spike around she did learn responsibility and he does keep Twilight calm a lot, Starlight doesn’t know that however so I didn’t mention it. What did you think about the story?
10552148
Even when he's not there the influence is. Twilight eventually says it herself, even from the start Spike was the friend who was aways there for her, with him she always had the magic of friendship even before she recognized it.
I do like the story, Starlight and Spike tend to click really well, and Starlight hit it on the head how the girls feel about him.
10552183
Yeah I figured Starlight was a great option for the comfort role, since she was super annoyed at how the towns ponies were treating her friends. Plus considering how close her and Spike seem to be I figured this was in character for her.
Are my StarlightXSpike senses tingling?
10552475
Why yes they are. While it is more of a friendship story, I added a few shipping moments for me and the other Spike x Starlight fans. I plan on writing a Spike x Starlight story at one point so don’t worry.
10552695
You should make that story be a sequel to this one
10552696
If I do make it a sequel to this one, can you give me some ideas on what I should do? I can’t come up with any ideas. I’ll be sure to give you credit when I make the story.
10554178
We could collab
I can only talk through PM though
10554179
Oh that’d be fun, I’ll go PM you. Hopefully we have fun.
10554189
I hope that we will
It bugged the hell out of me on Spike being completely absent from that episode, he got excluded hard from the girls there.
Yeah he didn't get chewed up by the mob in the episode due to not being there but it hurts that he got left out hard from the girls and baffling on how he was just missing in that episode.
10552183
Too bad despite that apparently he's excluded from the girls and their "magic" alot until the series finale(though they should have touched on how he was included in the rainbow for real there)
10555143
Glad I gave you your justice. I always wondered how Starlight would react to an angry mob mistreating and mocking Spike. She’d be super annoyed. So would Twilight but I figured Starlight doesn’t get enough credit for her bond with Spike since she almost never did anything to hurt him except for Horse Play although to be honest all she did was force him to stall a crowd and it was either him or her given how bias the Mane 5 can be.(no offense to fans of the Mane 6 I’m sure they care about him and Starlight).
10555155
I think Luna was the only one from the crowd in Horse Play that didn't threw tomatos at him there.
10555223
Yeah Luna knows better than that.
10555243
Not only the play adds in salt to the wound that she is not appreciated as much as Celestia, but her witnessing Spike going through that(and Celestia willing to raise the sun during night) is sure not something she like to see.
She probably would check up on him.
10555249
Starlight and Twilight would check on him too in my opinion with the former being super apologetic, and the latter being concerned.
10555253
Luna probably questioning the two there.
10555278
You should make a story on that if you feel like it or I could do it as a request for you if you want.
The idea behind this is pretty sweet, and, given how the mob behaved during that episode, them bullying him this way is believable as well. However, I'll be honest with you, the story's execution needs work. Your spelling and grammar is rather rough at times (most notably I noticed some tense shifts, incorrect preposition use, and also a lot of missing punctuation). It might sound scary, but a good editor or even some spell-/grammar-checking program will be able to deal with these with ease. If you don't know where to look for editors, try this group. I also spotted a bunch of recurring direct speech issues. I won't go into detail here for the sake of keeping this comment moderately short, but if you want, I can PM you a simple guide on how to write it correctly.
However, what I mentioned above are just minor issues. The largest problem that I see here is that almost every paragraph in this story is just one very long run-on sentence--a sentence made up of multiple unrealted clauses. The resulting sentence is hard to read, doesn't make much sense, and oftentimes forces the reader to read it multiple times to comprehend what just happened. An editor or some programs can help you with run-ons as well, though to be honest, you can deal with most of them yourself. Simply split them up (and adjust slightly where needed) into separate stand-alone sentences.
I'm sorry that my comment on your first story has to be such a negative one, but I feel a little brutal honesty will help you grow as a writer much better than any amount of sugarcoating ever would. You have the potential to tell a great tale one day, and all it needs is just some extra polish to make your stories shine.
Let me know if anything was unclear or if you have any additional questions.
10556374
It’s okay I get why you would think that, I hope you liked the story either way.
Just spit fire and burn them.
He can
I could kinda agree with that.
Was she bullied?
10556752
Spike was mostly able to breathe a tiny bit of fire at the Season 5 finale, plus I doubt he’s gonna breathe fire at someone who just annoys him. As for the Starlight thing that’s more of a head canon but it would explain why she was afraid to make friends.
10556770
Ohh
10556552
As I have said, I like the idea of the story. However, it could have easily been much more likeable, possibly might have even ended up featured. As for the rest, that’s not really about what I think, that’s what rules of proper writing say.
Anyway, let me know if you ever need anything.
Holy Moly... this is a HUGE single period. With a start that is full of repetitions... Don't know if it is intentional, but is REALLY confusing.
AS for the rest... It definitely needs some polish, there is other long periods that would benefit from a reworking, but not bad.
10589917
Sorry, it was my first story, I was still a mega newbie at the time but I think my writing´s getting better.
10555281
I am not really much of a writer honestly. More of a reader/idea-giver or something.
Would be interesting to see.
ahh! he said the forbidden Spike secret. we must silence him.
I'm actually kinda glad the Sparlight here was only a neutral friendship. It'd help have me see this as a personal headcanon for the episode itself.
Speaking of headcanons...
Here's a comedic story I found that I also accept as a personal headcanon, and it'll explain why Spike was in Canterlot in this story.