• Published 7th Nov 2020
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I am my own OC - KittyrinnAiko

It started out as a blatant self insert and then morphed into something more.

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Chapter 57: ignis Romanus

Our evening bus over to Flight Camp had an even heavier security presence from that morning, undoubtedly on the off chance some of the foal traffickers were still at large. When we arrived it was evident that the dining hall would have a capacity crowd that night.

We were directed up to a head table to the cacophony of ruckus applauds and cheering which had started up shortly after we were spotted entering the room. What had they been telling ponies? I would soon find out that Rumble, Scootaloo, and I were being made out as heroes when all I’d done was snag an unattended airship… and captured a fugitive along with many rogues.

I was being asked to step up to a podium.

I was being asked to say it.

I’m never going to hear the end of it.

No matter. I step up to the podium, elevate myself on a bit of cloud. “It is my intent to commandeered an airship, and I have every intent to raid, pillage, and otherwise plunder my weaselly black guts out.”

Enthusiastic applause and cheering resound.

I only said what I said because the air controller on hearing the timbre of my voice had no intention of giving me so much as the time of day,” I offered once ponies had settled down. “I’d a hunch something was going on and if I couldn’t get any pony's attention one way, I’d get their attention another. I will confess I’d no idea just what all they were up to.” I looked around to see several faces I recognized from the hospital. And then I decided to push my luck. “The Grand Galloping Gala is coming up and as much as I’d love to invite everyone, that I think would be pushing it. That said, I would like to invite all the unwilling passengers and misled passengers of the Drumlin Hay as my personal guests. That is to say, all the captives who were rescued. We’ll have our own little party off in another part of Canterlot castle.” I turned to Luna. “Mom, what do you think?”

She looked like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming car.

Following that I had to explain how the three of us ended up under the cloud layer in the first place. The deep blush on Rumble’s face suggested some pony had explained ex-winging to him. I’d left that bit out of the narration but did explain that Rumble had grabbed hold of me, and that’s what caused me to lose control. I then had to explain how having Earth pony magic could be problematic while standing on clouds. This followed with a short explanation of what Moonie was.

Moonie?” I asked softly. “Any chance you’ve enough in you to say hi?”

Moonie materialized on my head. She let out a yawn and stretched. This maneuver was followed by laying down with her front hooves stretched forward. She looked very much like a cat on my head.

Is she alright?” Scootaloo asked with a touch of concern in her voice. “Her mane and tail are white.”

Mostly white was a better description.

Selena?” I asked tentatively. “Diagnostic?”

I am… whole,” she responded.

She seems fine,” I informed Scootaloo. “Probably leveled up or something. She’s becoming her own pony.” My declaration was followed by my explaining to my audience how it was theorized that a Guardian spell could at some point become sentient. Nor was her main and tail turning white unexpected. After all, hadn’t that happened in my stories? Granted that the circumstances were different. A cold shiver ran down my back at the thought of suddenly, and inexplicably, finding myself in another dimension. But then again that’d been Discord’s doing and Discord was still locked in stone. At least in this dimension.

Oh, the staff is going to love you,” Mom whispered to me once I’d gotten sat down again.

Any chance we can get a list so no pony gets left out?” I asked as General Dynamic went up to the mic to talk. I only half-listened as he talked about us being the future of pegasi. Talked briefly about the foal-nappings, and he hinted that he’d be retiring soon. Not like it was his fault one of his officers was a complete waste of pony flesh, but then again there would be ponies looking for someone to blame. Granted had someone thought to have patrols under the base they might have spotted that airship coming and going some time ago.

Dinner came out a short time later, my favorite, fish.

Kenta was already asleep when we returned to the Neighpon mission, and flight camp was back to normal the next morning. We started with stretches, went over the basics, covered some new techniques, and finished off the afternoon with relay races. Yes, the schedule was a little off, but overall it turned into a fun flight camp.

With one caveat. Cozy Glow. No, not in a bad way. The thing is, she got a good deal of my references to the human world. All the other ponies just figured I was referencing things from a thousand plus years ago. They’d shrug and we’d move on. Cozy would get the jokes. I suspected that she was like me, from the human world, unfortunately, I never got an opportunity to sit down with her and ask.

I don’t know if I need to praise you or scold you,” Princess Celestia said to me on our return to Canterlot a week later. She’d met us in the hanger shortly after disembarking from the Firefly.

Do you mean in reference to the airship?” Mom asked. Celestia paused on seeing a very timid-looking Diamond Tiara behind her. Yes, Mom had signed for her. Lofty followed behind and Scootaloo had returned to Ponyville with Spitfire. As for Cadance, she’d left camp early and I had no way of knowing what was going on with her, though I did hear a rumor that she was helping with the foals who’d been abducted.

Not that so much as she made a statement to the effect that we’d be sending a certain pony straight to Tartarus on an open channel,” Celestia clarified.

Oh dear,” Lofty said from behind me.

After a fair trial,” I protested. “Not like she deserves it though.”

Ponies get fair trials in Equestria.”

When was the last time you heard from the hippogriff kingdom?” My question was that proverbial curve ball no one expected and I was curious if her proverbial bat would connect?

What does that have to do with this?” Celestia asked. Her patience was wearing a bit thin.

Swing and a miss.

They were taking the foals to Klugetown,” I stated. Sure I couldn't know for sure but by the look in her eyes, she’d heard that name too. “That airship is armed. No pony in Equestria needs an armed airship.”

I am well aware of that…” Princess Celestia trailed off. “What do you think you know?”

And if I say anything, will it be acted on in a meaningful way? Well?” My tone was cold. “It’s one thing to be treated like a filly in deference to my needs, but quite another when important things I say get dismissed because of my perceived age. I am not the little filly I appear to be any more than Luna is a teenage mother and don’t think I haven't heard ponies gossiping. What I have to say needs to be taken seriously. At least when I am being serious.” If my warnings had been taken seriously and the guard had made more of an effort to locate Daisy the incident at Cloudsdale might never have happened. Though who’s to say that a confrontation might not have ended far worse.

Fine, we will see to it that that little issue is addressed,” Celestia stated with gritted teeth. “Meanwhile, I want you to sit in on the preliminary hearings so you can see how modern Equestria upholds the law.”

I’m a witness,” I point out.

I’m well aware of that. I want you to sit in on the pre-trial hearings anyway. Being that you are a Princess you may find yourself residing over such affairs in the future.”

Indeed, I thought to myself. I might just want to get some classes on Equestria law under my belt so to speak. Was Princess Celestia residing over the proceedings herself? To be honest, I’d yet to sit and watch the doings in the audience hall, I had little knowledge of the Equestrian court system, and if the show was any indication every pony was bringing everything to her. Obviously, the criminal proceedings were being given priority, but I couldn't help but wonder?

Now that we’ve got that out of the way,” Celestia said cheerfully enough, and turned her attention to Diamond. “Who is this that you’ve brought with you?”

Your Majesty!” Diamond blurted out followed by prostrating herself on the floor.

Oh dear, you don’t need to do that,” Celestia protested as I quickly trotted around to Diamond.

I lay next to Diamond and draped a wing over her. “This is Miss Diamond Tiara,” I offered and then turned my attention to her. “Come on Diamond, she’s not going to do anything to you. That is considering what I get away with.”

She does get away with quite a lot,” Mom offered in a reassuring whisper. “If you could please, stand up.”

I’m sorry,” Diamond offered and slowly got up. She gave me a look, and I found myself blushing just a bit as I brought my wing back over to my side.

It’s alright,” Celestia offered.

She’s one of the rescued captives,” Mom offered. “I took her in because she didn’t really have anywhere to go, and I feared she might get lost in the system.”

Do we know what became of her parents?” Celestia asked softly.

They are the Rich family, Filthy and Spoiled Rich. Filthy is serving thirty days with probation to follow assuming there are no further charges for his shady business practices, and Spoiled is in rehab.”

Oh! Oh dear,” Celestia said softly. “Did you get her an identification pass? It seems she will be our guest for quite a while.”

Oh yes, your-” Diamond began.

Yes, we took care of that first thing,” I informed Celestia, cutting off Diamond. And then in a whisper to Diamond, “It’s Highness, and Ma’am thereafter. And don’t worry, others have embarrassed themselves far worse.” Diamond gave me a look and her eye slowly opened wide.

You can’t mean?” Diamond whispered back.

My smile spoke volumes.

Oh dear…” Diamond trailed off realizing she was about to use Princess Celestia’s name as an epitaph.

Now, the Drumlin Hay is in an adjacent hold,” Celestia offered. “Shall we go have a look? I’d like you to tell me everything you can while it’s still fresh in your mind.”

Alright,” I replied.

I must confess we never had the opportunity ourselves,” Mom added. “Lead on dear sister, lead on.”


So with Princess Celestia directing the way we left the hanger we were in, went down a hall and exited onto a catwalk that overlooked a larger hanger.

The Drumlin Hay was considerably larger than the Firefly, and armed to the teeth. Not only did it have gun stations along the sides, but there were also ball turrets extending from the base, and up top, no less than two dozen crank type ballista crossbow could be seen along the side of what should have been an observation deck midships to the bow with another on the stern. The two decks were separated by a conning tower with raised platforms fore and aft of the tower each fitted with another large ballista making it look a bit like an old WW2 U-boat. But wait, that’s not all you get, centered on the forward observation deck, one behind the other could be seen two large trebuchets with one more in the back. All of which I’d missed seeing when I’d moored her in Cloudsdale. Granted that all that weaponry could have been stowed away at the time. I couldn't help but wonder if it had a lightning gun in the bow? Oh, and yes, it had a periscope for lurking about in the clouds both up top and down on the lowest portion of the keel.

Elsewhere within the hanger, various items were on display in stacks and piles, while others had been boxed. And yes, the bamboo cages were out there as well.

It seems I’ve commandeered me a warship,” I said softly.

They fire explosive darts,” Celestia informed us. “Except for the siege machines. They launch large ceramic pots loaded with a chemical mixture that explodes and sprays out burning everything it touches.”

I can gather they didn’t discover that here in the bay?” I asked. It just seemed to me that if they had there would likely be nothing left.

No, they were suspicious of the contents and chose to break open a jar out in the target range. As slovenly as those ponies were, the explosives were given considerable care. Hit it with a dart and it exploded sending fire everywhere.” She turned back to me. “Klugetown?”

If what I know holds true, it’s a den of villainy full of cutthroats, thieves, rogues, scoundrels, near-do-wells, scofflaws, jaywalkers, tax evaders, people who don’t signal when they are going to turn, people who don't tag NSFW on NSFW art, and dirty rotten sweaty pirates. A place where everything and every creature has a price.”

I think I get the idea,” Celestia responded in a dry sort of tone. “Which would explain why you asked about the Hippogriffs.”

It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Sister?” Mom asked.

We lost contact and trade has slowed to a trickle. Goods are coming up from their kingdom, but it’s been sporadic.”

Any chance all the explosives have been removed to safe locations?” I asked. There was no point in discussing the fate of the Hippogriff Kingdom without more information. No, making sure those explosives had been taken care of. “Preferably in a cool dry place and not all in the same place?”

Soon as our people realized what we had things started getting moved a little at a time,” Celestia offered. “Forensics is going over it with a fine-toothed comb and the research and development ponies are eager to take apart all kinds of things. Mostly the weaponry. They have a device fitted to the crossbows that allow for rapid-fire.”

Sounds like a Legolas device,” I mused.

I’ve been assured that everything that even looked remotely dangerous has been moved to safe locations,” Celestia offered. “Now, I’d like to hear about your adventure, first hoof.”

Once more I went into the tale of the bold pirate Captain Kitzu Athelas as we went down a ramp to inspect the ship. I showed her the door we entered. That there was enough room for Celestia to enter and maneuver about wasn’t a huge surprise. Except, if she wanted to actually turn around she had to go into the lounge. And there wasn’t a lot of headroom.

Diamond was understandably hesitant to go onboard the Drumlin Hay. In the end, she decided she would rather not wait out in the hanger where the cages were.

I showed them the bridge and explained everything that I’d done. “I knew it wasn’t derelict when the engines turned over on the first try,” I explained.

Indeed,” Sunset offered as she joined us. “I volunteered to join the research team. There is something really interesting in the nose of this thing.”

So it does have a lightning weapon?” I asked. The dirty look she gave me was priceless. “But never mind what it’s got, can we counter it? Can we come up with weapons that’ll give us the edge when the storm comes?”


Now hold on?” Celestia protested.

Mother, right now, we would not stand a chance against a fleet of ships like this. It’s only a matter of time,” Sunset admonished. “The way I see it, we are really lucky Nova took this ship out from under their noses.

We need shielding that isn’t dependent on ponies, and weaponry that will give us the edge we need to repulse the inevitable,” I offered. “I wonder if it’s possible to artificially duplicate my little ball of blue fire?”

Might be worth looking into,” Sunset mused. “At least it’s not lethal at the power level you are using and that would mean less explody things to load on board.”

I can’t believe how casual you two are about all this?” Celestia protested.

Taught us much, our time in the mirror world did,” I offered sagely.

Mirror world?” Diamond asked.

Complicated and classified,” Mom informed Diamond.

It’s a place through an enchanted gateway,” Celestia offered.

A place where many of the creatures have far more in common with the former crew of this airship,” I offered. “A place of nightmares.”

Thank you,” Sunset offered to me. “For bringing me home. Just in case I hadn’t said it enough.”

You’re welcome,” I offered with a smile on my face. “Shall we continue our inspection now?”

Yes, yes, of course,” Sunset replied, and a moment later we were headed for the back of the ship.

Diamond said not a word when we went back to look at the now empty cargo holds. Just a bunch of big empty rooms that did not indicate their use outside of stains and marks on the floor. When we got back we set her up with a room a couple of doors down from Mom and me, and when I went back to check up on her I found her crying her eyes out. I didn’t say anything as I walked in. I sat down next to her and wrapped a wing around her.

How can you…” Diamond began, but couldn't finish.

Stand you? Forgive you? Because I know that there is a good pony inside you. I always knew. We did try to be your friend, and now things are going to start getting better. Your mom will get out of rehab and be the best mom you remember. Even better. Your dad, well, we’ll wait and see. Princess Celestia is very forgiving, you’ll see him again.”

And the storm you are expecting?”

A couple of storms. Don’t worry, we’ll weather them and come out the stronger for it.”

You think so?”

I know so.”

Is everything alright in here?” Lofty asked from the door.

No, but we’re working on it,” I offered. Lofty came in, did her own bit of encouraging, helped Diamond to get ready, and a short time later we were on our way downstairs to a state dinner.

For Diamond it was all rather humbling and even a bit overwhelming. She wasn’t at a complete loss though and watched me for cues to protocol, such as not taking our seats until after Princess Celestia moved to sit. Of course, the inevitable inquiries concerning Diamond didn’t wait long.

She’s my ward,” Luna informed them.

Dear, Princess Luna, surely not another foal, and at your age?” Asked one of the old biddies.

I happen to think I’m quite spry for a pony well over a thousand years old. Why I was well past one hundred when my sister was so misled by her followers.” Luna pointedly reminded those gathered that she was not the teenager filly she appeared to be. “Why even my own daughter would be an adult if not for the fate that befell us.” She paused but a moment. “Miss Diamond is one of the foals recently rescued and a pony we know. She and Nova were attending the same primary school and were classmates. I could not in good conscience let her go back into Foal Protective Services after they failed her so badly. The worst of it being her stay was meant to be temporary as in she’d be going home just as soon as her parents get their life in order.”

You may or may not have heard,” Celestia began. “FPS has been under investigation for the past week. How so many of our precious little ponies could fall through the cracks so easily and no pony wise about it is beyond me.”

The room had gone strangely quiet. How many in this room, I wondered, knew of a foal who’d been left to foal services? How many had been turned out of their homes because they hadn’t measured up in some arbitrary way? Such as getting the wrong cutie mark.

There will be stiff penalties,” Princess Celestia added in a warning tone.

And that mare who seems to have been behind it all, will it be Tartarus for her as is rumored?” Prince Blueblood inquired rather boldly. “Popular opinion seems to think she deserves it.”

This was news to me as I’d been more or less cut off while at Flight Camp. Apparently, my loose lips had supporters.

It will be up to a jury to decide her fate,” Princess Celestia stated.

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