I am my own OC

by KittyrinnAiko

Chapter 19: Nightmare Moon

Advisory: The following contains Pinkie bashing and non sequitur behavior from Moonie the Toy Wonder.

Ponyville was in some respects a wonderful place. The sight of a group of fillies and young mares being chaperoned by two Guards mares and a Guard Commander gathered nothing more than the occasional curious glance or smile as we passed by. And for that matter, if any pony noticed that the wings to horn ratio per pony were off by just a little, by the time they did their double-take we’d be further down the road.

We meandered through town stopping here and there where we eventually ended up at Sugar Cube Corner.

“Why are we going here?” Sunset asked.

“To see if Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom are there.” I offered.

“Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner,” Pinkie called as we entered.

“Any pony else want to get something while we are here?” I asked.

“Now, Miss, we will be having dinner when we get back.” Brightwing admonished.

“And you should know by now that Caddie and I are bottomless pits,” I replied with a smirk, followed by ducking when Cadance tried to nip my ear.

“Brightwing, we do eat a lot. It comes with the territory.” Luna offered.

“Hey now there’ll be no tomfoolery in here.” Mrs Cake chastised.

“Yes mam.” Cadance and I chimed and then curtsied with one hoof to our chins.

“Nova… Princess. Princess Cadenza!?” Mrs Cake blurted out. Past that point, nothing that came out of her mouth made any sense whatsoever. Granted it had taken her a while just to get accustomed to me as an artificial alicorn with pointy teeth.

“Chiffon, are you alright?” Mr Cake asked as he came out from the back.

“Hi,” I say as a way of greeting.

“Well hello Miss Nova. Or should I be calling you Princess now?” Mr Cake asked.

“We’re trying to keep a low profile, so Miss is fine,” I replied. “I actually prefer it, I mean, unless it’s a more formal setting where others might frown on it.”

“I understand entirely.” Mr Cake offered sympathetically. The Bouffant family who’d set them up with the shop was a high-placed noble family and when Hondo Flanks Magnum, a stallion hailing from a fairly suburban middle-class family and good friend of Mr Cake had wanted to marry Cookie Crumbles Bouffant, it had caused quite the scandal. It had also required a bit of adjustment on Mr and Mrs Cake’s part to adjust to the reality that their good friend Cookie was in fact nobility. As for Rarity, she’d been so snooty as a little filly the family had decided not to tell her that she was part of the nobility until she’d calmed down. Something I’d find out about later. In short, she’d been the diamond Tiara of her age group.

“So, how about introducing me to every pony?” Mr Cake asked.

I’d barely gotten started when Pinkie shouted, “Nightmare Moon!” and dashed out the door. Granted I should have seen it coming. Pinkie had frozen from the moment she’d spotted Princess Luna. Her mind going a mile a minute had finally come to the conclusion that promised the most chaos. Never mind the drive-by welcome to Ponyville she'd done earlier. Pinkie worked on impulse and right now all she saw was the pony that Princess Celestia had taken with her after the elements had taken all Nightmare Moon's magic.

“Moonie?” I asked looking about only to see one little Nightmare plush materialize on my back. Moonie just gave a shrug. Luna was looking a little confused and hurt. “This is my little Nightmare,” I offer while pointing out Moonie, and then encourage Luna to come forward. “This is my mom, Princess Luna. She’d been possessed by the Nightmare and is in truth nothing like that creature. She is warm, loving, smart, courageous, understanding, patient as a saint, and the best mom a filly could ever want.” I gave her a big hug and we nuzzled momentarily.

“A saint?” Mrs Cake asked.

Luna took hold of my muzzle, pulled up my top lips, and announced, “I nursed this little monster.”

“Mom!” I protested. Our guards were doubled over in laughter, and Mrs cake looked like she was having a hard time computing what she’d just learned.

“ These teeth were like needles when she was a baby,” Luna added.

“Mom!” I protest again.

“Oh my!” Mrs Cake said as a smile formed on her lips.

“Mom, let go. I’ll bit you, you know I will,” I warn because mom still has a hold of me. Luna let go, and then gave me a hug that I welcomed by leaning into her.

“Shiny, by any chance do teeth like that run in your family?” Cadance asked Shining Armor. “Show me your teeth!”

“Cadance, wait!” Shining protested as Cadance forced his mouth open to inspect his teeth. The next few words out of his mouth were entirely unintelligible.

“Why does a unicorn have teeth befitting a pegasus?” Cadance protested. Earth and Unicorn ponies typically had no canines and often sported a gap in the teeth. Pegasi on the other hoof had well-developed canines that were there to make catching fish easier. Granted that all ponies had the potential to have canines, horses had canines, it’s just that in the groups that didn’t actively hunt the canines had been all but lost.

Shining Armor’s unintelligible protests just caused every pony else in the room to just bust up laughing.

“That’s Princes Cadance and her colt friend Commander Shining Armor,” Sunset offered between fits of laughter.

“It’s not like that!” Cadance protested.

“Then why are you so worried about what sort of choppers he has?” Sunset pointed out.

“Alright fine,” Cadance protested.

“We are supposed to be keeping a low profile so it doesn’t look like fraternization or something.” Shining Armor protested.

“Oh, sorry,” Cadance said and finally let go of his muzzle.

“And our Golden cutie is Sunset Shimmer,” I offer once I’d managed to stop laughing.

“Princess Luna, I get the feeling Nova was quite the hoof full,” Mrs Cake offered with a smile.

“She was very energetic,” Luna offered. Her smile faded just a bit. “I, lost so many of my precious memories of her when she was a baby to the nightmare. Such a fate, I would not wish on my worst foes.”

This time it was me giving her a hug. “We will just make lots of new memories.”

So from there we went back around doing intros and added that Scootaloo was staying with us because Lofty and Holiday were going to be looking after her for a while. Nor was it necessary to mention that Scootaloo’s parents had taken off again. And then it was on to ordering.

Cup cakes and muffins while not being the healthiest thing for me was something I could safely eat. I found out really fast that most standard hay-based foods were things I needed to avoid. As in way too much roughage and I doubted I was getting any nutritional benefits out of the stuff. Sure I could eat the accursed ingredient that seemed to be in all equestrian meals, but no hay fries, or hay burgers. Grains, fruits, vegetables, nuts, tubers except for potatoes which are toxic to horses. Sweet potatoes or dandelion root on the other hoof were good. And then there was a wide variety of flowers and other edibles. Alliums, chives, clover, leeks, garlic, nasturtiums, marigolds, pansies, calendula, anise, hyssop, honeysuckle, scarlet runner beans, borage, bee balm, chamomile, and to my surprise daylilies could be eaten. True lilies can not. There was also mint, and squash both blossom and fruit. I was also rather surprised to find that Equestrian daises could be eaten. Back in the human world, the seemingly harmless things are rather toxic to a horse, but only mildly so to a canine. Maple leaves if picked young and candied could be eaten, but the older they got the more toxicity they contained with the dry leaves being the worst. I also knew to stay away from fern. I asked Lofty about it, and she confirmed that it was extremely toxic. I also wasn’t likely to see any black walnut furniture or stain. Something about the sap of the wood was extremely toxic to ponies, and great care had to be taken to harvest the nuts which surprisingly enough were edible. Because of the difficulty of harvesting, black walnuts were a prized delicacy. Furniture made from black walnut was extremely pricey due to the need for protective clothing and a respirator. Once sealed up it was safe. But plain old-fashioned hay just seemed to give me the world’s worst gas. Let's face it, ripping the mother of all farts in school was no way to endure me with my fellow students. Nor was Diamond Tiara happy to find out her tiara had in fact been plastic. How did we find out? It warped when exposed to my fart of doom.

When it came right down to it, my diet wasn’t really suffering all that much. If anything I was getting a wider variety. Just no tomatoes in the pasta or on the pizza. No, I wasn’t suffering. Not that I could say as much for ponies around me any time I’d been getting too much roughage.

And then we were happily munching on cupcakes and muffins a short time later as we stepped out the door.

Or at least that’s what we thought. No sooner had we stepped out the door when we found ourselves being challenged by the Elements of Harmony.

“See, right there, Nightmare Moon, just like I told you!” Pinkie shouted.

“Twilie, what are you doing!?” Shining Armor asked in protest.

“B-B-B-F-F?” Twilight asked sounding confused.

“It’s Nightmare Moon!” Pinkie shouted while pointing at Luna and bouncing up and down.

“That’s my mother!” I shout back. My hackles are up and I find myself being gently scooped up by Luna as I shout out, “Leave my mom alone. Hasn’t she suffered enough!?”

“Luna, I think Nova can take care of herself,” Sunset offered.

“I’m not protecting her, I’m stopping her from hurting some pony,” Luna offered as our guards moved out in front of us. “I just wish ponies would quit looking at me and calling me Nightmare Moon. That wasn’t me, I’m not her and I never was.”

“She is too, she’s Nightmare Moon!” Pinkie insisted. “Come on Twilight, make with the rainbow laser!”

“Pinkie, stop!” Twilight called as she broke formation and started moving in Pinkie’s direction. Applejack and Rarity were looking mighty confused, and a bit put out to boot.

“But, but, but…” Pinkie protested.

“Sugar cube, ah think you need to let it go,” Applejack cautioned. “You can't go around accusing Princess Luna of being Nightmare moon when she ain’t.”

And then Moonie bounced out into the space between the two groups.

“Aw, come on Pinkie, Princess Luna isn’t Nightmare Moon anymore,” Dash said adding her protest as she watched the mini Moon trot up to Dash. “Any more than that toy is.”

“I am Nightmare Moon!” Moonie declared.

“What?” Luna asked.

“I blame your sister,” Nova offered.

“And I can fly circles around you!” Moonie shouted at Dash in her foal-like voice.

“I’d like to see you try!” Dash shouted back. Dash’s expression went from annoyance to surprise as Moonie took off and proceeded to fly a holding pattern around her. “Now cut that out!”

“Not like you weren’t asking for it.” Applejack remarked with just a touch of snark just as Moonie landed on Dash.

“Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on Rainbow,” Moonie sang out as she trotted in place.

“Will you get off of me!” Dash protested. “No, wait, strike that, move over to the left a bit… oh ya, that’s the spot.”

“What? What is that?” Twilight asked as she watched the antics of the mini Nightmare.

“I am Nightmare Moon!” Moonie called out as she launched into the air.

Applejack let out an unbidden laugh and then added, “No, yer not. Yer not tall enough.”

“Aye, so I’ve heard,” Moonie offered as she flew back and forth in front of the element bearers.

“Is it a fight?”Bonbon asked as she joined the growing crowd.

“It must be a fashionable fight,” Lyra offered. “It’s drawn the finest of ponies.”

“Daughters of Equestria!” Moonie shouted. “I am Nightmare Moon!”

“Nightmare Moon is seven celestials tall!” I call out playing along.

“Yes, I’ve heard,” Moonie replied. “She enslaves bat ponies by the thousands, and if she was here, she’d defeat Princess Celestia with fireballs from her eyes and bolts of lightning from her arse.”

“The lightning only works on Wednesdays though,” Luna quipped causing me and quite a few in the crowd who were well familiar with a local restaurant's Taco Tuesday special to bust up laughing.

“I am Nightmare Moon!” Moonie shouted again.

“No, your not, yer Moonie the Toy Wonder,” I shout.

“Hey, that hurts. I’m more than just a toy. Not like you can get in the front door without me,” Moonie declared gliding over to glare at me.

“She’s got you there,” Luna offered.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry. You are far more than a toy. You are a companion, a source of inspiration, the key to the front door, and a downright decent security protocol who is behaving way beyond the parameters of her programming.”

“You better believe it,” Moonie boasted. I wasn’t too sure if she’d been paying attention to what I’d said or if behaving outside her parameters is what she was boasting of. She turned back to the other ponies who’d gathered around.,“And before me, I see a mob of Equestrians, gathered here to persecute one innocent pony who’s gone through enough to last a thousand lifetimes all on the word of one overly excitable pony who never once thought about how her impetuous actions might cause more harm than good.” She glared at Pinkie.

I will have to admit that watching what was essentially a glorified toy telling off grown ponies was interesting.

“And you, what’s your excuse?” Moonie had turned on Applejack. “Are thou not the element of Honesty, strength, and sincerity?”

“I’m sorry bout Pinkie.” AJ offered. “It’s all the articles in the newspapers they sell in the supermarket.”

“Great, just great. We’re tabloid fodd'r and ev'ry pony is all w'rk'd up because I consume meat. Is that it? Griffins consume meat too, and how many griffins cometh calling just so those gents can stealeth chicken?”

“Nova, you might want to calm down, you’re talking old ponish,” Cadance cautioned. “And you seem to forget that this was about Luna.”

“I knoweth, I knoweth, the mare just very much did get und'r mine own skin. I've got a mind to taketh a nip out of her.” I say and let out a sigh. “Blasted tabloids, not like I don’t hear the palace staff whispering behind my own back.”

“And I was asking you what your excuse was,” Moonie pressed Applejack. “Not Pinkie! Did not one fiber of your being call out and say whoa Nelly, this ain’t right? Were you not conversing with Princess Luna only a short while ago?”

“What exactly is going on with Moonie, anyway?” Sunset asked.

“Don’t ask me, ask yer mom, she fiddled around with the spell,” I offered.

“Must have added a tell 'em what I really think subroutine,” Luna whispered.

“I’m sorry,” Applejack said taking a step back. “Yer right, I should have put my hoof down. But aye didn’t. I failed as a barer of… Say what?”

“With honesty must come the strength to call out that which is not right and the sincerity to recognize thine own faults,” Moonie scolded and then turned to Rarity.

“And where was your generosity, your honor?” Moonie inquired of Rarity. “False accusations are as out of fashioned as the gabled hood.”

“Oh dear Celestia, not the gabled hood!! I’m so sorry!” Rarity wails, and then falls back to land on her fainting sofa. The sofa had been drug out there by Sweetie Belle in anticipation of just such a need.

And then it was Fluttershy’s turn. Moonie said nothing. Instead of a lecture, Moonie landed in front of Fluttershy, sat on her haunches, dropped her ears, and looked up at Fluttershy with the most soulful eyes one could imagine. Fluttershy was devastated.

Moonie got up and turned back to Pinkie slowly walking over with her head down like she was stalking her.

“Element of what? What element were you supposed to represent?” Moonie asked sounding more like a school teacher calling out a bully.

“Laughter,” Pinkie offered sheepishly.

“Laughter? Ha! Ha! Ha! There’s your bucking laughter,” Moonie scolded. “Laughter is fleeting, and it hurts when gained at the expense of another. But that never bothered you, now did it?! Let's just point at dear sweet little Luna and call her Nightmare Moon because it’s bucking funny!!! That’s it isn’t it? Or are you so shallow that you can’t see just how insensitive you’re being!? Her family was devastated! She is lucky enough to have been reunited with her own daughter, who I might add also suffered at the hooves of the nightmare, and you want to blast her presumably right back to the moon regardless of her innocence right in front of her own filly!!! Not to mention that said filly and every pony else standing by her would go with her!” The silence that followed was deafening. Not even the birds dared to utter a peep. “Pinkamena Diane Pie.” Moonie’s voice wasn’t anywhere near as loud as it was a moment ago, and yet it still hit like thunder. “It is not the element of laughter it is the element of hope. When you set out with your friends to rescue Princess Celestia, it wasn’t laughter that you gave them, it was hope. Sure, you used laughter, but laughter alone gains nothing. And today you did not impart hope. Not this day, for on this day you tried to take it away to satisfy your own selfish impulses. Please, do not take the hope from my Luna.”

“Um, Moonie, are you done?” I asked. I was really beginning to feel like this had gone far enough even if Pinkie did deserve a little comeuppance. Granted that if this prevented a Nightmare Night incident like in the show it was probably worth it.

“Just one thing more,” Moonie offered. “Pinkamena Diane Pie, if you are unable to live up to the responsibility of being an element bearer you will lose your element.”

“Now hang on?” Twilight protested.

“Friendship report, from all of you in triplicate!” Moonie shouted as she turned on Twilight causing Twilight to back step a few paces.

It was at that moment that I spotted a star that had appeared between the points of the crescent on Moonie’s flank.”Mom, I think Moonie’s been hacked.”

“Hacked? She looks fine to me? How could she possibly have been hacked upon, she’s an apparition given form.”

“A star has been added to her cutie mark.” I offer. I also have to remind myself that hacked in this world does not have the same meaning it had in my previous world.

As for Twilight, once she’d stopped her retreat, she just stood there dumbfounded. Moonie turned, evaporated into so much mist, and returned to my pendant on which the stones inlaid were shining brighter than ever.

Mrs Cake walked out to Pinkie. “Pinkie, when you are done with that report, we are having a talk.” Pinkie’s mane seemed to deflate

“Those stones?” Twilight said softly as she approached. She shook her head for a moment and turned to Luna. “Princess Luna, I’m so sorry. I just can’t understand what got into Pinkie. I feel just horrible about this.” She cast a glance back at my pendant.

“Yes, Twilight, they are Harmony stones,” Luna offered. “And no, I can’t really account for her little guardian’s behavior.” That didn’t help Twilight. “I originally made her right around the time the Nightmare was worming its way into my soul. Granted I’d been unaware of it at the time, but I remember being bound and determined to provide her with a protector.” Luna paused for a moment. “I can’t help but think the Nightmare had tried to subvert it as there had been a dangerous flaw introduced that caused it to draw too much manna from her. Celestia has since fixed it.” She paused a moment. “At the moment I can’t say which of us was responsible for that tirade, but I do want to be friends with everyone.” Luna had chosen not to mention the cutie mark.

The crowd started to break up and we all start moving down the road in one loose group.

“I’m mighty sorry about all this,” Applejack offered. “Take a deep breath, let it out. I know how aggravating Pinkie can be sometimes. She means well, she just don’t think.”

“If it had come to it, I’d have done anything to keep from losing my mom again,” I offered.

“Trust me, I know. I came mighty close to losing my maw,” AJ offered. “And granny, always going on about how my ma should have been with Bright Mack when he got hurt. And how I should have been there with em instead of out gallivanting.” Applejack shut up right quick-like on realizing she’d just let slip something that was supposed to stay in the family. Granted that Nova had already heard plenty of the like from the old mare.

I’m floored by what I just heard. Cadance and Twilight had even been in the middle of ‘Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake’ only to come to a screeching halt at Applejack’s admission of how her Granny had been behaving. “You were saving Equestria. You saved my mom! And if your mom had been with Bright Mac, if you had been there...”

“Don’t cha think I know it!? Nova?” AJ asks as she and the others stop.

“Miss… Princess Nova, you might want to calm down.” Silvereagle cautioned as a mist began swirling about my hooves.

“Now Princess, take a breath and calm down.” Brightwing cautioned.

“Oh my Celestia,” AJ said softly. “You latched onto my ma that day because you didn’t want her going.”

“Both going after timber wolves together just seemed wrong.” I offered as I try to calm myself down. “It’s not like I really needed her specifically, I just didn’t want her to go. It just seemed wrong and I’d a horrible feeling if I let her go I’d never see her again.” Well, that and granny weren’t being very welcoming. Mom had stepped up to me and placed a wing over me to get me to calm down. “And Granny aught to be grateful Bright Mac is alive.”

The show never did say what had become of the perfect pair, and I found those two trees that were spiraled together. Bright Mac and Pear Butter had planted them and were actively shaping them. Granted that in this world things were happening differently but it still looked like I changed the course of events simply by being here.

“Applejack, what do you think the odds are that your ma would have dived in to try to protect your pa?” I ask. “My being there on that day, at that time can’t be a coincidence.”

For a time no one says a thing.

“She’d have dove right in,” AJ said quietly. “And I’d have likely followed.”

From what I knew, the ponies who’d been there saved Bright Mac by baiting the timber wolf, and getting it to go after them. From what I know of those monsters, I imagined Timber Wolves to be a bit like dogs ruined by humans who spoiled them and encouraged them to chase after things. The hunt wasn’t important, just the thrill of the chase. Timber Wolves were nothing more than bio-machines with one reason for existing and that was to kill. Once that was done they moved on to the next hunt. No different than the family dog that gets let out to run and then runs livestock to death. A hunter who hunts not out of necessity but for sport.

I shuddered involuntarily and started walking again the mist fading as I went. The others followed moments after. From there we continued on, no pony saying much of anything until we reached the library tree, and even then talk was light.

Luna asked to borrow Spike to send a message to Celestia, and then our group separated right after Luna sent her letter, Twilight and the element bearers stayed to write what was going to be a difficult friendship report, and our group continued with our walk about town.

Author's Note:

I think you can probably guess which portion of this was inspired by the Nightmare night episode.

It's fun to be scared?

Sometimes yes, but not when the laughter comes at the expense of others or the fright is a little too real. Pinkie was being self-absorbed, her behavior was hurtful and inconsiderate towards Luna, and in pinkie's own words, she was being a downright meany pants. And if that wasn't enough, Pinkie instigates a riot when Luna Saves Pipsqueak from drowning. Granted Luna only makes things worse in her misguided attempts to salvage the situation. And Pipsqueak was truly an ungrateful little snot. He nearly drowned because no pony had enough sense to keep an eye on the apple-bobbing tub. And does Twilight step in? No, of course not.

The show starts out with Mayer Mare and Zecora telling every pony that Nightmare Moon is still evil and must be appeased. Not one word about Luna being freed from the Nightmare. Not one pony, not even Twilight saw how hurtful and insensitive the vary celebration was. They were celebrating Princess Luna's downfall.

Princess Luna had every right to demand its cancellation. and then Zecora and Mayer Mare double down by continuing with the hurtful tradition rather than go and apologize to Luna for how the entire community had been treating her. And then Applejack doesn't really help all that much either. And Twilight talking Luna into making things worse.

When Pipsqueak tells Luna that he wants her to scare him and the others the first thing that should have come out of her mouth was a protest that she didn't want ponies to be afraid of her. And Twilight reassuring Luna that they really do like her - No, they don't. They like Nightmare Night and the idea of Nightmare Moon in much the same way children loved Captain Jack Sparrow when Pirates of the Caribbean was still a thing. The foals of Ponyville were never given the chance to see Princess Luna as a real mare who might actually want the foals to not run away in abject or mock horror.

Speaking from personal experience, when I was really little, being scarred was not fun. Sure it was fun for the person doing the scaring. Once they'd realized I was really and truly terrified of their Halloween mask they would stalk me just so they could watch me run away in absolute panic. It didn't matter what I was doing or where I was going I'd turn and run and wouldn't stop until I was either home or exhausted. No, it's not fun being frightened. It might be fun to pretend to be frightened, but real fear is not fun. In the episode, Pinkie was reinforcing fear and teaching the foals that Princess Luna was a pony they needed to fear. And you don't shut that fear off when the day ends and the costumes and decorations are put away. I lost a kite because the person who thought it was fun to scare me just didn't care about how it was affecting me. I was flying a kite with a bunch of other people on a warm summer day when that damn mask suddenly popped up right in front of me. My brain shut down, I turned around and ran for all I was worth. I even went through a couple of intersections oblivious to where I was. All my mind was registering was that I had to getaway.

The ending of Luna Eclipsed needed a completely different ending because if it taught anything it taught viewers that being shallow and insensitive for the sake of commercialization is OK and that the people being mocked will actually like being mocked once it's all explained to them.

Comments

[Pony addiction]

Deep

[Xawine]

“ Not like you weren’t asking for it.” Applejack remarked with just a touch of snark just as Moonie landed on Dash.

“ Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on Rainbow,” Moonie sang out as she trotted in place.

[Wagooigi]

Ok I get that but what about horror movies and novels the fear I get from those are real but they keep bringing me back in isn't the same thing.

[rendomstranger]

11340262
No, the fear you get from them is not real. Yes, you get jumpscared by them or feel creeped out. But beyond any existential horror, you know that you are not in real danger. There is a massive Canterlot to Ponyville sized difference between feeling uncomfortable or getting jumpscared and being actually scared. Real fear sticks with you after you've woken up the next day, regardless of age.

Not to mention that there is a massive difference between being scared because of something fictional or an actor and being scared of a real person. Especially when said person isn't trying to scare or harm you and when it is someone other than that person who is telling you that you should be scared.

To put it simply, there is no meaningful difference between what happened between Bridal Gossip and Luna Eclipsed. The only difference is that during Luna Eclipsed the problem is resolved by leaning into it to the point of absurdity. A solution that would not be needed without Pinkie Pie causing problems.

[Kentavritsa]

I think you can probably guess which portion of this was inspired by the Nightmare night episode.
It's fun to be scared?

All depending on the definition of "Scared"
but alas, you to need a bit of excitement in life(or it may lose all meaning?)

[Kentavritsa]

“ Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on Rainbow,” Moonie sang out as she trotted in place.

“ Oh dear Celestia, not the gabled hood!! I’m so sorry!” Rarity wails, and then falls back to land on her fainting sofa. The sofa had been drug out there by Sweetie Belle in anticipation of just such a need.

O Kay, this is just hilarious..
and the refference, you just have to see it

[Vampire king Jonathan]

“ You better believe it,” Moonie boasted. I wasn’t too sure if she’d been paying attention to what I’d said or if behaving outside her parameters is what she was boasting of. She turned back to the other ponies who’d gathered around.,“And before me, I see a mob of Equestrians, gathered here to persecute one innocent pony who’s gone through enough to last a thousand lifetimes all on the word of one overly excitable pony who never once thought about how her impetuous actions might cause more harm than good.” She glared at Pinkie.

As Christ said judge not lest ye be judged

[Vampire king Jonathan]

“ I knoweth, I knoweth, the mare just very much did get und'r mine own skin. I've got a mind to taketh a nip out of her.” I say and let out a sigh. “Blasted tabloids, not like I don’t hear the palace staff whispering behind my own back.”

Tabloids are just rumors and rumors are just gossip and gossip can be hurtful