Starlight, Babyslayer vs. The Army of Cozys

by Nebbie

Don't Make it Real

Down deep in the tower, Photo Finish went up to the mirror and tried to pull on a piece of its paneling with her remaining hoof. "Zis will take but a moment to reprogram it...ze default setting is some weird school version of Equestria where long-legged monstrosities act melodramatic, not where Trixie went..."

Comfy sighed. "Sorry about your hoof, the whole ash beam thing was my idea, and it tends to numb ponies pretty badly. I'd have Starlight's new robo-butt make some coffee for ya, but I don't remember the buttons. Trixie only showed me that once."

Photo rolled her head around. "Zis lost leg...'tis but a scratch..." Photo cackled "Ze evil kinder clearly cannot aim. She would be TERRIBLE at photography! Anyways, a little overdrive potion from Zecora will have me going going GOING!" She stared towards Zecora.

"Are you sure? For the maladies this inflicts have no cure..." Zecora said.

"Hmph, I know I might explode, but zat is alright, I only need to be very alive for a little longer before I go...and greet Death with a swift kick to the gonads!" Photo said with a smile.

Zecora promptly went over and gave Photo a bottle of a sparkling liquid that seemed to make her hair go wild with energy.

Photo promptly got out some wires and jammed them into the portal.

Starlight smirked. "Zecora does certainly have something for everything."

"You're too kind, I left much behind. My best remaining offensive option is at this point a dangerous fusion concoction," Zecora said ominously.

Starlight gritted her teeth. "Right...let's call that a last resort, I wouldn't exactly want any of us to become one with Cozy. Say..." Starlight rubbed her chin with her hoof. "Comfy, did you just say you know what my body, or at least its shiny metal butt, can do?"

Comfy nodded her head. "Not a lot, and what I know is from when it was just individual parts..."

Starlight shrugged. "Well, anything's a start. Cozy will be back...and I can't let Spitfire and Sunburst's deaths be for nothing."

Comfy hopped atop her and hit her robotic flanks with her legs, making Starlight's hooves turn to rockets that levitated her up. "Giddyup and uh, think like a blender, it'll activate your grindy hoof!"

Starlight nodded, putting her left hoof out, which then extended blades that spun around for a moment. "Neat...definitely the right hoof to stick where her sun don't shine."

Comfy giggled. "Yup...I guess you and Sunburst were close?"

Starlight sighed. "He was my first friend, and I kind of obsessed over him moving out to where I...did some bad stuff. You know, it's good he went out by my side instead of becoming food for one of those abominations that'd just make some 'Sun Glow'." Starlight shuddered. "Only one that's closer is Trixie, since well, we've slept together in her little love wagon. I guess she's all I have left to live for now, but I don't know if I'll even find her."

Zecora put a hoof on her shoulder. "You will find her in time, as sure as I rhyme."

Suddenly, the room shook.

"Yeah, time? Well we might be out of that. Hey, Germane weirdo, you done tickling the portal's pickle?" Starlight asked.

"Nearly...it will at least go to a world with a Trixie!" Photo said as she finished wiring the portal up to a teacup, and began putting other wires into an actual pickle, and wiggling them around. "Just one final touch to calibrate and we go! Almos-"

She was cut off as a slicing beam from above went through her neck, her ears twitching a moment while a sputter came from her rear, before her head rolled right off of her cauterized neck stump.

Cozy's distinctive giggle could soon be heard, and she soon dropped down through a hole in the ceiling. "Hahah, oh golly, not only did I stop her from getting your hot lesbian retreat portal ready, losing her head took the horseapples out of her too!" She wheezed a bit.

"Okay, NOW I'm peeved!" Starlight swore as she reactivated her grindy hoof and flew fast towards Cozy.

Cozy went wide-eyed, flailing as she barely responded in time, losing part of her wing to the blender-hoof. "Hey, that's not fair!"

"As if you ever fight fair! You just killed a pony mid-sentence!" Starlight shouted in response.

"Rear grenade launcher!" shouted Comfy as she tugged on Starlight's tail.

Starlight blinked. "Really?"

"Really, Photo's uh...moment just now reminded me of one of Trixie's designs," Comfy said.

"Of course, she was the one who designed our emergency bombs too... Trixie, you're brilliant, but I'm going to slap you when I find you," Starlight muttered as she did some aerial acrobatics to fire off grenades from her rear at Cozy, sending the alicorn filly tumbling about.

Comfy cackled and rubbed Starlight's cutie mark, making it glow. "Suck off Cozy's special thing and swallow it!"

Starlight smirked. "Now that one, phrasing aside, I can get along with," Starlight concentrated on Cozy, and started to pull away the filly's mark.

Cozy however shot a bunch of beams in return, breaking Starlight's concentration.

Starlight retreated to the balcony, where Zecora used a slingshot to send a bunch of pellets towards Cozy glow, which seemed to stick to her wings and slow her down.

Starlight again tried to suck off Cozy's mark, but a beam hit her hoof, and shorted out the magic from her hip. "Gah! Somepony tell me we're winning..."

The mirror suddenly lit up.

Starlight looked over, noticing Photo's head having its tongue stuck out into the pickle. She smirked and headed towards the mirror. "Well, sorry for your death, but kudos on how you used your dying moments, and make sure to bite Death's babymaker off for me...I go!"

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" shouted Cozy as she dived in between Starlight and the mirror.

Zecora tossed a potion bottle, but it was stopped midair as Cozy giggled.

"TURBO!" shouted Comfy as she slapped Starlight's rear so hard her hoof turned red.

Starlight's robo rear promptly opened up into two huge rocket boosters, which lit their flames. "Zecora...if you can't beat 'em, join 'em..." She gave a wink, and Zecora nodded back. "So Cozy, ready to get rammed? Better step aside!" she taunted as she focused on moving forward.

Cozy stubbornly stayed put, trying to blast Starlight.

Starlight was grazed on one of her robotic hooves, but mostly managed to dodge, and even jammed her grindy hoof into Cozy's general rear area, grinding something as blood sprayed out.

Cozy squealed like a pig and jumped out of the way, only to get splashed with another potion courtesy of a Zecora-tackle, getting it all over both.

Starlight hit the mirror portal, a blinding light around her, obscuring the filly and zebra as they screamed and fused together.

---

Outdoors at sunset, sitting in front of a projection that said "Le Fin", Trixie put a hoof around Starlight. "Well... what do you think?"

"Well, I like action, but...it seemed a little...full of itself, derivative from things like that new Wolf and Stain or whatever game Button plays, and, frankly, weird, with the name 'babyslayer' and the rather aggressive shipping..." Starlight replied. "No offense."

"Hmmph, you just don't know true brilliance," Trixie said. "I should go to Sunburst."

"Speeaaking of him, how exactly did you make this again? Sunburst didn't kiss a mare dressed up as me, did he? That'd be...weird, and those effects looked really realistic," Starlight said as she took the film reel off the projector.

"Oh, I found a magical artifact that turned whatever I say and think into weird flashes of things happening, then I just recorded that," Trixie said as she reached for a half-empty popcorn container she had nearby.

"Um, Trixie, would this happen to be the one me and Twilight were studying?" Starlight asked.

"Maybe, why?" Trixie said as she shoveled in all the remaining popcorn and began chewing.

"Well...from what we can tell, it's actually sort of a thing that uh, might be able to make real things. Like, by warping other universes..." Starlight went on, sweating a bit.

Trixie gulped down the popcorn and burped. "Ha, like a whole army of Cozy Glows is just gonna show up on us!"

An army of Cozy Glows then appeared in the sky, dropping down a big Cozy.

Trixie stared in shock. "Well...um..." She promptly grabbed Starlight and hid behind her. "Time to slay, my queen!"

"Hehe...um...you all...happen to be friendly?" Starlight asked, sweating.

Suddenly, cyborg Starlight, with Comfy on her back, teleported in. "Rats, this has to be the wrong universe. Hey, other me, you know how to fight?"

"Uh...well, maybe," Starlight replied.

Trixie pushed Starlight aside and stepped forward. "My creation! Oh, this is going to be so fun!" she squealed, eyes wide in happiness...only for a big Cozy from her side to shoot out its tongue onto the side of her face, making her gulp before she got pulled into its maw.

"TRIXIE!" Starlight yelled as she watched her friend's backside sticking out of the big Cozy's mouth wiggle and flail about.

"Well I guess you better learn fast if you wanna save your marefriend, other me!" Cyborg Starlight said as she began shooting out grenades at the swarm of Cozies.

"On it!" Starlight said as she ran up to the big Cozy and started blasting, accidentally zapping Trixie's butt.

"Yeowch!" Trixie shouted as she was sent fully into the beast's mouth, making it promptly swallow her.

"Other Starlight, ya gotta aim..." Comfy chided.

"SORRY, a bit new to hero stuff!" Starlight said as she unleashed a slicing spell, which the big Cozy dodged, leaving it to cut a a nearby marshmallow Cozy in half. Muffled screams told her meanwhile Trixie didn't have long left.

"You're doing better than I did when I started!" said Cyborg Starlight as she got out a blade from her side. "Let's gut this thing before Trixie's a goner...we've got about 30 seconds, so...plenty of time I think! And besides...maybe Spitfire was right..."

Starlight's eye twitched. "Regular Trixie is enough of a pain, we are NOT dealing with a Cozified one!"

"Well then ya better help out!" Cyborg Starlight replied.

Starlight groaned as she flared her horn. This was gonna be a long week.

Comments

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Brilliant double-twist at the end. I fucking loved this entire work.