Chapter 30: Parents Portent and Pabulum
The room looked like a complete mess. There wasn't so much as a square centimeter of open space. Everything seemed to be strewn about haphazardly. Colorful bolts of cloth were scattered among drab patterns. Sketches were weighted down at random points by needles, notions, and knickknacks.
Above floor level, the reality of the situation was revealed in a pale blue aura. An orchestra of cloth and creativity, needle and thread, teased out a symphony of fashion at the direction of the white unicorn pony on the rostrum as she measured out the tempo with her horn. With each passing moment, an elegant dress was born and hung from a peg on the wall.
Three short fairytale escapees with large ears and large eyes added to the elegance as they replicated the dresses in different sizes, while a witch added to their efforts as she waved her wand. Despite using two sewing machines each, they could barely keep up with the unicorn's pace.
No words needed to be exchanged; where the maestro led, the others followed.
An owl appeared, apparently from nowhere, into the maelstrom. Production ground to a halt as everyone focused on the intruder. The bird juked out of the path of a bolt of forest green silk while twisting in a barrel roll around a pair of shears that threatened to impale it. It screeched in terror when it found itself in front of a fusillade of straight pins. Millimeters away from its body, a pale blue glow collected both the projectiles and the evidence of the owl's panic.
“Are you all right, darling?” Rarity inquired as she set the owl on a table near her. “That was a close one.”
“Who,” agreed the owl shakily.
“Is it that time already?” Lady Greengrass asked, placing her wand’s tip on the pouch the owl was wearing. “With everything we’ve manage to accomplish, this day has simply slipped by. Ex dimittere.”
Amidst the cacophony, the two Greengrass ladies were surprised when the bag regurgitated three balls of fluff instead of the expected one.
“Astoria, dear,” Lady Greengrass said with a smile. “I see you’ve brought company.”
“Yes Mother,” Astoria said, quickly regaining her hooves as her two friends lay splayed on their backs, still suffering from the stunning mode of travel. “These are my friends Sudden Flake and Constant Flow. Their parents said they could spend the afternoon here if that meets with your approval.”
Lady Greengrass reached down and picked up the white unicorn filly, flipping her over and placing her on her unsteady hooves. “I see you failed to warn them about the particulars of this mode of travel.”
“Fanks,” Sudden Flake said as she swayed slightly.
“That was actually fun!” Constant Flow exclaimed, flipping herself over, even as Lady Greengrass was reaching for her. “You do this every day?”
“It is a somewhat unique method of commuting,” Rarity said, taking her eyes off her work for the moment. “However, it is not something to which one cannot become accustomed.”
“Your mom has a ring foo?” Sudden Flake looked up at the towering human with a shy smile. “Faf’s cool!”
“Astoria?” Lady Greengrass asked. “Did you inform their parents exactly where their daughters would be spending the afternoon?”
“Yes.” Astoria nodded her head. “Our home.”
“Did you happen to mention the fact that our home is in a different dimension?” Rarity asked with a hint of suspicion.
“No.” Astoria frowned. “Should I have?”
“We’re in a different dimension?” Constant Flow asked excitedly. “Cool! I can’t wait to go exploring!”
“I’ll take you down to the muggle village,” Astoria said. “That is, if they have your permission to stay, Mother.” The filly turned a devastatingly effective pair of puppy eyes onto the elder Greengrass.
Lady Greengrass sighed. “I’m afraid I don’t have the time to escort you. We are opening a new branch of Rarity’s business in Canterlot. One of the Crusaders' properties has become vacant, and it would be inadvisable to pass on such an opportunity. Perhaps you should restrict yourselves to the manor.”
“Actually,” Rarity said, “Straight Line hasn’t been to the village yet. She could accompany the foals and get some fresh air in the bargain. She’s been cooped up in the house, and a nudge toward exploring would do her a world of good.”
“Who’s Faight Line?” Sudden Flake asked.
“She’s my tutor,” Astoria said. “You’re going to like her.”
“I suppose we are disrupting her lesson plans as it is.” Lady Greengrass pursed her lips. “Very well, you may ask her to escort you; I can see you wish to impress your friends. However, if she declines, you are to stay on the grounds.”
“Thanks, Mother.” Astoria turned to trot from the room. “We won’t take any more of your time. Come on, girls; let’s go.”
“Bye, Aforia’s mother.” Sudden Flake waved a hoof before following.
“Yes, bye.” Constant Flow waved her own hoof. “Thanks for allowing us to stay.”
Once the foals had left the room Rarity said, “She never introduced us.”
“It was bad manners.” Lady Greengrass nodded. “However, she was excited, having friends over for the first time. It is no excuse, and I shall be speaking to her about it later, but I saw no need to embarrass her in front of the other two.”
Rarity returned her attention back to the fashion flotilla. “I suppose foals will be foals,” she commented. “You don’t think Straight Line will actually take them to the village, do you?”
“Thank you for that suggestion, by the way,” Lady Greengrass said. “It’ll soften the blow. There is no doubt that Straight Line will decline. She has been more skittish than a mouse making its way across a room full of kneasels.”
“Being thrust into a world full of large gangly, err, people will do that to a mare.” Rarity agreed. “I believe she has yet to venture past the front door.”
“Regardless,” Lady Greengrass said, “I shall be taking a small break to write their parents. I need to make them aware of what they permitted their daughters to do as well as extend an offer to keep their children for supper.”
Professor McGonagall looked at the gathered first-years in her office and suppressed a frown. It was turning out to be a trying year, and frankly, she was happy to nip their newest venture in the bud before something spectacular came of it. “And what exactly do you think you are building on the grounds?” She sent a harsh glare to make her displeasure known.
“A ballista,” Miss Lovegood replied without hesitation while her friends did their best not to look guilty.
“Why . . .” Professor McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose. “. . . exactly are you building a ballista?”
“Because we realized it would have come in handy for the hydra,” Mr. Weasley stated.
“You are supposed to leave that poor hydra alone,” Professor McGonagall said sternly.
“We know,” said Neville. “We weren’t planning on using it on him. But it doesn't hurt to have a fallback in case the wards fail.”
“We’re going to have an upper-year add shrinking runes for us,” Miss Bates added.
“That way we can keep it in our pocket.” Miss Brown smiled.
In a tight voice, Professor McGonagall said, “One of your members can already toss around highly destructive balls of fire on a whim. I’d appreciate it if you did not add flying lethal lengths of lumber to my worries.”
“So,” Mr. Potter sulked. “No ballista then?”
“I shall be alerting Hagrid to this new source of firewood,” Professor McGonagall said with finality.
For the centaurs, life was literally a journey. To survive, they needed to travel to find plants and prey. Staying for too long would leave the land barren. For Licenta, however, the painstaking search for edible plants and game trails had been replaced with leisurely trots on tarmacadam. Now that she was living among humans, what had been a daily struggle for simple sustenance had been replaced by a weekly jaunt to a paradise of plenty. Instead of having to wake in a different place each day in order to find food, she now had to stay in the same place every night so that others could find her. She had almost forgotten what it meant to move when her new family had announced that they were relocating too someplace better.
The new dwelling was considerably larger than the one they had been inhabiting, and Licenta's human family was excited over the new location, a sentiment she couldn’t help but share, as the atmosphere of elation was contagious. Mr. Thomas was particularly overjoyed at winning the contest that had yielded the larger home. Mrs. Thomas was elated at winning the sweepstakes that would pay for the resulting bump in their council tax and utilities.
Breaking camp and relocating hadn’t been even remotely difficult. One of Mrs. Thomas’ friends had learned about the move and had volunteered the services of a grumpy little elf who did all of the work. Although volunteered, his services came at an unexpected cost, as he spent the entire time insulting every member of the family. Licenta herself, was called several disturbing things, not the least of which was "horse butt". She couldn’t help it if she had an equine rear; she had been born that way, after all.
Not even borrowing Rosie’s ring could remove the butt of that jab. Whenever she used that magical artifact, Licenta ended up as a little pony. It would have been nice if she had wings like Rosie and Eva, but she wasn’t that lucky. Instead, she kept bumping her horn into inopportune objects, resulting in more than a few instances of distasteful sensations coming from that new appendage. The little elf's commentary had been even less pleasant after he had backed into her smaller form. At least her coat stayed the same brown coloring, no matter what form she took.
Well, that was the case, unless Rosie got a hold of Dean’s spare wand again. Licenta couldn’t help but object to being purple with pale yellow polka dots. The mere memory brought shudders. At least she had gotten off better than Eva. Licenta still wasn’t sure what those colors and patterns could be called, besides "yuck".
So, here she was, in her own private room, something of which she could never have dreamed of when she had been living with the herd. It had taken a lot of explanation and a few sleepovers with Rosie and Eva before she was convinced that it was not a punishment. There were more than enough rooms in the house to go around, especially since Rosie’s grandparents had opted to continue residing in the trunk Dean had bought for them. It was somewhat surprising that Mr. and Mrs. Thomas had chosen to continue to share one of the larger rooms, instead of each taking one for themselves. Was that a punishment?
Oh well, humans could still be strange at times.
The view from the train’s window could only be described as barren with only sparse patches of snow breaking up the grey scenery. If he were being honest, this wasn’t a place that Sirius would admit he wanted to live. While it had nothing on Azkaban, there wasn’t much joy in the landscape. Yet, this was where his most exuberant wife had taken him to meet her parents, something that could only be seen as inevitable, after being introduced to both Rainbow’s and Twilight’s families.
And what an experience those introductions had been. Twilight’s father just blended into the background as her mother managed to put the fear of in-laws into Sirius’ heart. Though, to be fair, she did it in a friendly, if buoyant manner. Then, there was Twilight’s brother; he was the very definition of big brother… Emphasis on big… Major emphasis… Extremely major emphasis. Even though they had all seemed receptive to his and Twilight’s union, they still left the head of House Black feeling on edge.
On the other hand, he felt strangely comfortable around Rainbow’s parents. He supposed that had something to do with the fact that those two had spent the first day and night he had met them secluded in one of the spare guest rooms. The goofy grins they sported afterwards didn’t hurt either, not that Sirius hadn’t been wearing a grin of his own. Whatever Pinkie had done to those pastries had been extreme. In truth, the only times Sirius had seen the pair on that first day were at breakfast and when Bow had interrupted Sirius’ alone time with his wives long enough to ask to borrow a pair of rings.
It still made Sirius uncomfortable remembering how the pony had been let into the room while he and Rainbow were intwined. The passionate exclamations of how amazing his daughter was at taking care of her stallion were distressing to say the least. There was something very wrong about getting that level of encouragement from the father of the woman he happened to be with at that moment. However, as a result, Sirius felt accepted, if not a little awkward around the older male.
At least he wasn’t heading into this introduction solo. Remus needed no reminder of how subtly effective Pinkie’s breakfast contribution had been. That by itself was more than slightly suspicious, considering she had access to both an apothecary and the Black library, leaving him to wonder if love honey had been the only special ingredient. Regardless, Sirius now wasn’t the only one in the house being laughed at for being blindsided by herd acquisition. Nissy was still occasionally shooting Bella nasty glares over that. Thus, the other Marauder was coming along to meet the same set of parents. Maud had insisted that they take Grace, Bella and Nissy so that the new herd could be properly introduced.
Stepping off the train did nothing to improve Sirius’ impression of the environment; he was finding it hard to believe such a locale could be the homeland of the jubilant pony known as Pinkie Pie. Yet, amazingly enough, that seemed to be the case. The ponies awaiting them on the platform bore as much resemblance to her as shale to opal.
“Pinkamena, thou hast returned,” the grey pony in the black hat declared in a dry voice as the party exited the railcar. Well technically, he was a shade of brown, but he excluded an air of being grey. “Thou hast brought with thyself thy newfound stallion as well as thy herdsisters. Far hast thou strayed from home; this outcome be not unexpected.”
There was much blinking at this greeting before Bella leaned closer to Grace and said, “It’s official; Pinkie’s the one who’s adopted.” To that, Grace couldn’t help but nod her head.
“Yup!” Pinkie pranced between the two groups. She couldn’t hop because Remus had made a collar that prevented bouncing, which he promised to remove once she wasn’t pregnant anymore. “Everypony, meet everypony!”
“I’m not jealous. I’m Not jealous. I'm not Jealous. I'm Not Jealous,” one of the younger mares standing in the group chanted.
“Good news!” Pinkie continued. “While visiting, Maud snagged herself a stallion. She has a herd of her own now!”
“I Am So Freaking Jealous,” corrected the pony Pinkie had interrupted.
Rainbow was suddenly by that pony’s side, totally pulling a Pinkie as she slung a forehoof over the pony’s neck to pull her closer. “Don’t worry,” she said. “Twilight has this match making thing down to a science. If you ask her nicely, she’ll introduce you to somehuman.”
“Really?” the pony in question, questioned. “Which one’s Twilight?”
“That would be me.” Twilight raised a hoof. “And you are?”
“Limestone,” the mare returned. “You and I are going to have a talk.”
“Pinkie, I think we are going to need more than ‘everypony meet everypony’,” Nissy scolded.
“Okay,” Pinkie said cheerfully, pointing to ponies in turn. “Mom, Dad, this is Nissy, next to Grace, who is next to Bella, who is next to Remus, their stallion, who is next to Twilight, who is next to Maud, who is next to Sirus.”
Maud deadpanned, "That was a joke."
Pinkie then turned her hoof on the other group. “You’ve met Limestone, who is next to Rainbow.”
“Please to meet you,” said several voices at once.
“These are Mom and Dad,” Pinkie said before zipping over to the other young mare, holding her close. “This is Marble Pie, my baby sister who’s only a few minutes younger than me but she’ll always be a baby to me; isn’t that right? She’s so excited to meet everypony.”
“Wait?” Sirius perked up at those words. “You’re twins?”
“Yupperroonie!” Pinkie smiled.
“This I have got to see.” Sirius trotted forward and held out a small ring to the young gray mare. “Here, hold this.”
Marble gave Pinkie a doubtful look only to receive an encouraging nod. Then she reached out and took the ring in her mouth.
“Now just concentrate on changing.” Sirius instructed with a grin.
The resulting transformation was made all that more spectacular by the fact that the seams of her painfully pink blouse couldn’t contend with the strain.
“Jackpot!” Sirius declared, his grin reaching new heights.
“Brrrrr,” Marble complained as she examined her new body.
“Definitely twins,” Remus commented. “The sisters are, too.”
“Yes!” Sirius practically hissed. “Twins.”
“You need to share,” Remus insisted.
“But,” Sirius said. “Twins.”
“You already have a wife with those assets,” Remus countered.
“And you have four in your herd.” Sirius reminded him. “Besides, you already have a set of sisters.”
“And you have a date lined up with a fourth,” Remus said.
“I may not be proficient with my horn yet,” Nissy said, “but I can still hex the both of you.”
“But,” Sirius repeated. “Twins.”
“I want twins, too.” Bella spoke up.
“Are the stallions fighting over a mare?” Rainbow asked with an evil smirk.
“It would seem that Marble will be coming back with us,” Twilight said. “One way or the other.”
“It’s cold out.” Marble said shyly as her new anatomy pointed out the obvious.
“I am so freaking jealous,” remarked Limestone dejectedly, lowering her head towards the ground.
Straight Line had no idea what had gone through her head. As a tutor, she wasn’t inexperienced with pouty looks directed at her by foals. She had no idea why she had given in this time. Despite the triple effect, she should have been somewhat immune. Yet, here she was, escorting her young charges into a town full of humans -- a creature type to which she had been recently introduced upon taking her current job.
The most notable human was Lord Greengrass, who was not unlike many of the nobles she had worked for in the past. His alpha, Lady Greengrass, was more approachable. Lady Rarity was pleasant enough as well. Straight Line hadn’t confirmed the original species of either mare, but she knew that Lady Rarity was Knight Elemental Generosity, thus likely pony-born. Furthermore, Lady Greengrass had Astoria as a foal, meaning the young filly had to have gotten her hooves from somepony. This left the tutor wondering if the human stallion was looking to add yet another pony mare to his herd.
As work went, it was an exciting, if stressful, assignment. This trip into the human environs only threw more fuel onto the fire. The reactions of the humans when they were first noticed served to emphasize that. It was obvious that they were attempting to avoid being rude by staring at her and the foals. It was also obvious that they wanted to get closer and examine the ponies.
“I don’t actually come into the village that often,” Astoria was telling her friends as they looked around with wide eyes. “It being a muggle village and all, but there are some magical families and a few witches our age. Actually, I normally floo to their houses; so, walking like this is new.”
“Fey’re all faring.” Sudden Flake was a little unnerved.
“My first time here in pony form.” Astoria admitted. “This is probably the first time any of them have seen ponies, if I’m correct.”
“That would have been nice to have known before we left the manor,” Straight Line said, waving a friendly hoof at a man looking out his shop window at them.
Astoria sighed. “Father doesn’t want Daphne or me being friendly with people beneath our status, but mother will allow it from time to time.”
“So, exactly where are we headed?” Constant Flow asked as she continued her rubbernecking.
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” Astoria said. “I just thought we’d wander into town and go from there.”
“So, you are less of a guide and more of a fellow explorer?” Straight Line asked suspiciously.
“I do know the town,” Astoria protested. “I just don’t get to come here that often. At least I know how to watch out for cars.”
“Fey sure have a lot of cameras,” Sudden Flake noted.
What had Straight Line been thinking when she agreed to escort the foals?
“Look, there’s May and Ingrid. They’re a couple of the witches I was talking about.” Astoria pointed at a group of six human fillies before starting to head over to them. “Ingrid!” she called out. “May!”
The girls' stares only became wider as the ponies approached.
“Do I know you?” one of the girls asked while another gasped.
“Astoria,” said the gasping girl. “You’re a pony!”
“Tada!” Astoria stood on her hind legs and threw her forelegs wide. “Got it in one, Ingrid.”
“Astoria?” asked the first girl. “That’s Astoria?”
“Don’t you recognize her voice?” Ingrid asked kneeling down and outstretching her hand as if to entice a lost puppy. “We haven’t seen you in a while; kinda figured your father finally put his foot down.”
“Wait a minute,” one of the other human fillies said. “You know ponies? Does this mean you and May are witches?”
“May is.” Ingrid said, her voice underlaid with sadness. “I’m probably a squib. I’ve never managed to do accidental magic.”
“Are you going to introduce us to your friends?” Straight Line suggested, still looking around as the other humans watched the encounter with interest.
“This is Ingrid.” Astoria pointed toward the squatting girl. “And that’s May.” She pointed to the first girl to talk. “I’m sorry I don’t know the others.”
“Stella, Jasmine, Gloria and Tracey.” May pointed out each girl in turn. “Why didn’t you tell us you were a pony?”
“You’re so cute.” Jasmine declared, rushing over to scoop up Sudden Flake.
“Haven’t you been watching the news?” Stella frowned at her friend. “You’re not supposed to hug ponies without asking first. It’s rude, and they don’t like it.”
“Don’t care,” Jasmine said. “He’s cute.”
“I’m a filly.” Sudden Flake huffed.
“She’s cute.” Jasmine corrected herself.
“They all are.” Gloria spoke up for the first time. “Yet you don’t see the rest of us snatching them up.”
“I don’t think we could lift the big one.” May said eyeing Straight Line.
“I would appreciate it if you didn’t try.” Straight Line said.
“Anyways,” Gloria said. “We were headed over to my house. Would you like to join us?”
“Yes, please.” Astoria spoke for her friends. “I’ve never been in a muggle home before. Today seems like it’s a day for new experiences.”
“I think we can all agree on that.” Constant Flow said as she let Ingrid stroke her coat. “This is not what I was expecting when you invited us to spend the afternoon with you.”
“Are you complaining?” Sudden Flake asked.
“Nope.”
When Twilight had commissioned her own trunk, she had elected to make it different than Rarity’s own George. First of all, she had declined several security features. Her trunk wasn’t going to gain a reputation for being a pony eater. Secondly, why would she have an ice rink when the space would be better used for a good laboratory and work area? She had forgone other space wasters to increase the size of the library. One thing she did keep the same was the hot tub, a hot tub, that two stallions were currently relaxing in after taking a break from all mare-based attentions.
“Well, the phrase ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’ has just proven to be total bunk,” Sirius said.
“It is the exceptions that prove the rule,” Remus replied. “After all, you, yourself are one such exception.”
“I suppose so.” Sirius shuddered. “But wow, Remus. Just wow.”
“All things considered; Pinkie does make more sense now,” Remus said.
“That statement is an open paradox.” Sirius said.
“Too true.” Remus paused for a second. “With her having a twin, we know she wasn’t adopted.”
“Talk about opposite personalities.”
“We may have scared Marble a little,” Remus said.
“You think?” Sirius snorted. “I’ve heard about hiding under a rock before, but I never expected to witness it taken so literally.”
“That was more of a boulder and less of a rock,” Remus corrected.
“Pinkie did say she wasn’t used to the attention.” Sirius sighed.
“At least we have confirmed that Nissy can indeed shoot hexes from her horn,” Remus said.
“Don’t remind me.”
“I was honestly surprised when Cloudy Quartz laid into her for doing that,” Remus said. “From my first impression, I wouldn’t have guessed that woman had it in her.”
“She did seem laid back,” Sirius agreed. “But we should have known Pinkie got it from somewhere.”
“Like you said earlier, 'wow… just wow'.”
“The mares are still in a deep discussion on the proper treatment of us blokes.”
“I still don’t know why you dragged me away from that,” Remus complained. “It was enlightening.”
“You were trying to figure out how women think.” Sirius snorted. “Even I know that way lies madness.”
“It was still enlightening.”
“Twilight pulled out her blackboards; that’s never a good sign,” Sirius countered.
“It was getting interesting.”
“No…” Sirius said. “Just no.”
Remus sighed.
“This trip is turning out to be nothing like I was expecting,” Sirius noted.
“That’s an understatement,” Remus said. “Rock soup is a no go.”
“I don’t even understand the mechanics behind that one,” Sirius admitted.
“I wonder if the reason Pinkie can eat so much is because she’s used to getting her minerals in a concentrated form,” Remus mused.
“Okay, stop right there,” Sirius said. “I don’t want to comprehend; it’ll only make my head hurt.”
“I suppose that is a rabbit hole.”
There was a pause before Sirius spoke again. “Then there’s Limestone.”
“Wow… just wow,” Remus said.
“She’s… she’s…” Sirius was at a loss for words.
“Rude.”
“Yup.”
“Aggressive.”
“Yup.”
“Confrontational.”
“Yup.”
“Ill-tempered.”
“Yup.”
“Unforgiving.”
“Yup.”
“And generally unpleasant to be around.”
“Yup.” Sirius continued nodding along. “So, are we introducing her to Snivellus?”
“I’d consider it to be our Marauder-bound duty.”
“Too true. One way or another, sparks are gonna fly.”
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I love this story. Can't wait for the rest. Someone should tell the pony girls that if they take a human form they will considered hot on the scale of good looking. They will probably jump at a chance to tempt the human boys right to the altar.
I would like to say that I love the relationship that you've written between Rarity and Lady Greengrass. The Greengrasses certainly gave the impression of seeking upward mobility without being snobbish about it. They didn't look down on others for trying, and they were willing to put in the necessary work. It is no wonder that they mess so well with Rarity. It is a further point in their favour that they appreciate that Rarity's success in opening a second store would translate to an increase in status for the family and the name; too many would look down her for her mercantile dreams. Not to mention the sense of propriety they all share. I am genuinely happy for Lady Greengrass that she has found herself such a herd sister, and such a good friend.
So, in Remus' herd there's Narcissa, Bellatrix, Grace (the waitress, I think?) and Maude.
Who was Sirius' fourth?
Aloe and Vera? Also, too many more mares, and Remus may start sympathizing with the position that stallions are hard done by.
I say this as a guy... absent a very different story to properly establish a culture where marriage is a political arrangement with "multiple women choose to share access to a valuable resource of their own free will" dynamics like you see in harem-breeding animals, this creeps me out and I worry about what it may imply about how its author sees women in real life... or at least how non-habitual it is to consider the woman's perspective too.
As Prof. Snape already said many times before, there are many things wrong in that sentence.
Never thought Sirius would has a type. Initially, I thought he might attract to a diamond dog.
Somehow I can practically feel the calm before a fierce storm.
11292039
I have a Hp only fanfic that would not qualify to be hosted on this site. It's called Butterflies Bearing Beater's Bats.
Limestone Pie in a herd with Severus, Zecora, and Applejack? ...... I approve. Let's see it happen.
11317890
try 'Hermione's Aunt Grace', but you got close...
So Severus has Zecora and Apple Jack....the obnoxious bat pony kidnapper who wants in and now Remus and Sirius want Limestone to join Severus's herd.. You do know if this goes through the three of them will essentially be brothers....
Next up on the Crusaders list...How to cure a Maldictius and communicating with the afterlife through pudding. Also a little herd run down list would be nice I've already lost track of who goes with who.
Also what about poor Ruby?
11317992
Let's not forget Aunt Grace in that mix....
You know with all of the interconnected relationships between Sirius, Remus and Snape, this family tree looks like a jigsaw puzzle with the complexity of the Gordian Knot!!!!!
11317929
Mind giving me a link?
Also you are evil for posting a chapter while I am sick. Having to restrain myself from laughing due to the pain it causes is never nice. Especially if you fail at that.
Trebuchet is a lot safer than a Ballista.
Make it large enough and you can fit the Hydra in the sling.
Wonder if Remus and Sirius are going to get to see Maud throw rocks?
11318100
It's not hard to find, googling 'Dogger807' comes up with FF.net and AO3 profile pages as the first two results.
Council tax and utilities not income tax for their increased costs.
Love it but can't remember Sirius fourth? Date?
The rainbow dash's dad encouragement is just so in character. Brilliant.
11317966
It's why I pose these questions.
[Professor Snape]: "Detention, Black."
[Sirius Black]: "Aaww c'mon Snivvy, what for?!"
[Professor Snape]: "One, for that ridiculous name you called me. Two, for not consulting either myself nor my wives on the possibility of adding another mare to our herd. I knew you were impulsive, but this is a new low, even for you.........................and WHERE do YOU think you're going, Lupin?"
This will not likly go the way these two think it will.
Those two plotting at the end... They are just asking for trouble.
Also, ponies wandering around the muggle world will never cease to be amusing.
"Siege weaponry" was added to the list of Hogwarts contraband the very next day, to the confusion of generations to come.
Well, it's better than getting horns and a mandrill face.
"I survived raising two of the most powerful unicorns in history and a dragon. I know of torments you can't even imagine, and I have photos of them I can use to embarrass your wife. Break her heart, and I'll break you in ways you won't believe even as you're experiencing them.
"That being said, would you like a cookie? They're fresh out of the oven."
If Twilight Velvet's parental efforts were heroic, Cloudy deserves her own stained-glass window.
Honestly, Limestone and Snape might actually work if they can drop their emotional guard. Which, granted, is a tremendous if.
In any case, fun stuff all around, though there are so many different ongoing plot threads it doesn't feel like there's time or space for any of them to make much progress. Still, looking forward to more.
I would like to cast my vote as Aye, for the matchup between Severus and Limestone. However she's still have to pass the Alpha mare test.
I could see Applejack trying to reign her in, and Severus informing his loving wife that he needs no defending from such pedestrian attempts at insults.
11318414
Ah, but contraband merely means it's illegal to import or export. They built that ballista on Hogwarts grounds, so technically that is not contraband. It can still be illegal via other Hogwarts rules, but it is not contraband by definition.
a lot of teasing, of fans, going on here. You need to start up a side-story featuring the adults being adults, or at least opening up the world for creators who might want to touch on that, while keeping to the spirit of the original.
I enjoy the heck out of this story, but there is so much going on. It could really use side-stories focusing on some or the more interesting situations. Like the Centaur in primary school, and the the little witch in Unicorn school.
Both are deserving of a more indepth treatment, that at the same time would let you take a breather from the main storyline.
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reminds me of a story where Applejack said sarcastically, "Cutie Mark Crusader siege engineers, YAY." when she heard they were trying to make a catapult.
Limestone and Snivellus Oh Discord make extra pop corn this is going to be good.
Not sure if I should feel sorry for Limestone or Snape.
Applejack, Zecora and Limestone. Hmmmm, interesting, lol.
11317905
I think you're overthinking it.
The Thomas's are displaying a lack of sufficient paranoia in regard to those contests and their convenient interlinking.
If I remember right Twilight "unblocked the magic of Dean's sisters" something Ingrid would be very interested in.
With Rarity and her behaviours now part of the Greengrass family I suspect Astorias father is going to be a lot less concerned about who associating with those beneath his station in the future.
Didn't Maud take human form back in chapter 28 and have average proportions?
Also the crusaders are STILL going after the poor hydra? At this stage it's starting to feel like cruel and malicious tormenting of an animal as they've both been warned away from her and made friends with both Fluffy and the basilisk. Not to mention she's been shown as terrified of them. It's the same as their planned murder of Peeves because he was annoying. They've become worryingly vindictive towards any non pony/humans.
“So, are we introducing her to Snivellus?”
Gold, and thank you. I was kinda feeling sorry for her. Good to know that she now has two wingmen.
Everypony's favorite crackfic is back!
I just had a realization about this. A terrible, amazing realization. Remus and Sirius are each married to a Pie sister. If Remus and Sirius manage to get Limestone Pie and Severus Snape together, that will make them all brother-in-laws with each other. Not only will they have to tolerate each other, they will be family by law. I don't think that fact has quite clicked to Remus and Sirius yet. Oh the terrible realization that will happen when that finally sinks in for them.
11331429
Not sorted, but Draco and DT are certain hes in Puff house.
Theres a whole group that isnt sorted yet
Here's some reference material:
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/993970/unofficial-hazy-days-and-magical-ways-character-listing-chapter-30
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/993971/unofficial-hazy-days-and-magical-ways-thread-tracker-ch-30
I just thought of something: when Pettigrew first had non-consented "relations" with various ponies in human form, do you think any of them now has a "bun in the oven" right now?
11339928
all older Ponies, for the most part, well past foal bearing age...maybe one of the younger attendants, but it matters little as the Rat is in a cage
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And his first Equine victim? Do not forget he had her under the Imperious Curse.
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possible, but unlikely. as previously stated, there is a small chance, but they only had one night, with her as a new human, and then he let his control slip as he feel back into old habits of eating, sleeping and shitting....
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I just worry about the kids(if any) that may have resulted from His dalliances and the bullying that might take place.
11317929
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, whatcha doooin'?
You know, I'm kinda surprised we haven't seen that racist prick, Chancellor Neighsay, come butting his obnoxiously big horn into Hogwarts and try to seize control of the school in the name of Ponykind everywhere since clearly only the Master Race of All Magic Everywhere should be allowed and privileged to learn it.
I've even got an idea for how/why his racist views could be turned on humans. He's one of the very few stallions in all of Equestria and Equus as a whole that's a bachelor! And it's because no mare or filly likes his snobbish attitude towards....everything, really. So, him being a forced bachelor in a society that's dominated by mares who are all frantic to have stallions would certainly aggravate him. Then add in there suddenly being a new race of beings who are capable of transforming ponies? Who all known mares have been THROWING themselves at? Which numerous new herds and even multiple pregnancies already on the way? With the mares still shunning him in favor of these thieving non-purebred pony stallions? Yeah, he's going to be downright frothing at the mouth HOSTILE towards any and all humans he comes across!
Now, imagine that type of character managing to insert himself into the politics of the interdimensional negotiations and conflicts! Wouldn't that make for some interesting drama, bedlam, and crises until/if/when he's removed! I truly hope you can use something like what I described in the story.
After all, as welcoming as ponies and humans have been so far, conflicts that can't be easily resolved need to happen in order to keep the story interesting. Particularly, conflicts that don't center around the dark lords and/or their like-minded peers/minions. Having somepony like Neighsay or even Blueblood stirring the pot can do that.
Still, even if you don't do any of that, know that I am genuinely enjoying this story and am very much looking forward to seeing more of it in the near future!!
Just got caught up. Loving this story!
Another brilliant chapter. Thoroughly enjoyed what's going on. One can clearly see that ponies are not used to stallions fighting over mares. But I suspect Remus will win out, seeing as he needs two mares for his herd to be legal. Sirius has obviously met that requirement. And I must say, given that Remus and Sirius dislike Severus, they sure are working hard to make him a brother-in-law. Can't wait to see his first meeting with Limestone.
V/R,
Dreadnought
11366944
D'oh!
11317992
You wouldn't be talking about a certain snake named Nagini would ya?
11378108
That curse is cruel and needs done with.
Also poor Ruby and please a rundown of all the crusaders with marks and how I have lost track.
11378152
I'm sure she would be eternally grateful for that.
So I've been pondering something.
Garrick Ollivander is adamant that the wand chooses the witch/wizard, and that certainly seems to be the case given the evidence we've seen. But what about in the event of custom wand orders? Like the Crusaders have been doing with Celestia's tail hairs, and what Spike did with Rarity's tail hairs? Doesn't that meant that once complete, those wands could reject their commissioners and pick someone entirely different?
11380919
That's a good point.
Almost two and a half months since the last update. I do hope this hasn't been abandoned!
11389436
Dangers of reading unfinished stories, but 2.5 months isn't that bad. I only hiatus stories I'm reading if they're quiet for two years.
I'm more worried about making writers feel pressured if I comment something like that. Depending on the writer it could help motivate them negatively or it could take all the fun out of it by making it a chore with deadlines. The story will come when it comes there's plenty more to read.
I set this story down back on chapter 22 and after mentioning on another site how weird it is the only good Harry Potter fics I've ever found have been MLP fics I'm back to reread (listen to text to speech) the both of them and get caught up.