Interlude 1: Bugs in the System
By every quantifiable measure, Janice had built a comfortable life for herself. She never had to worry about where she might find her next meal, and she never had to worry about losing the roof over her head. In fact, she owned her house outright, and she had no debts to be reconciled. Smart investments, careful money management, and a bit of incredible luck had netted her a positively palatial dwelling. It had stood out as a monument to her success. If only it hadn’t loomed as a constant reminder of her loneliness.
Janice had tried to fill that void by furnishing each room with a bit of her heart and soul. She had developed an eye for dilapidated furniture in need of some tender, loving care. The modern monstrosities of plastic, sawdust, and glue never passed her threshold. Instead, she had always started with bones of solid wood or quality metalwork. Over time, she had developed the myriad of skills that, when combined with love and elbow grease, had allowed her to resurrect pieces that would otherwise have rotted or rusted away. The best part had been that the long hours of her hobby had allowed her to concentrate on something other than the hole in her heart.
As distracting as her hobby may have been, she had become painfully aware that conversations with furniture were rarely productive. The house might have been more crowded, but it had still been painfully empty. It had needed more. With that in mind, she had adopted a cat. One cat had led to another, and another, and many, many more kitties. She had not reached thirty years, but she had at least thirty of the little furballs making themselves at home. She was not a crazy cat lady. Cats were renown for being aloof; she had simply obtained enough to ensure that there was always at least one who desired to be cuddled when she needed comfort.
Janice had a large house. Despite everything she had done, it was still a large, empty house.
Everything she had done, everything she had been doing simply hadn't been enough. She had needed more.
By every quantifiable measure, she had more than she would ever need. That did not change a simple fact; numbers did not tell the whole truth; emotions could not be quantified.
As she sat alone at her table in the local café, one thought came to mind. Her life was a desert, a void, a vacuum. Mere words could not adequately describe its emptiness.
For more years than she cared to remember, this had been her daily routine. Tea time was theoretically her time to relax and to watch other people. It was hardly a hobby; she took no pleasure in being the metaphorical stranger staring enviously through the window at the loving family gathered around a fireplace.
She knew what she was missing.
She simply had no idea how to get what she needed.
When she tried to talk to others, she was lucky to get squeaks out, let alone a coherent sentence.
She couldn’t get what she wanted.
She couldn't get what she needed.
In her darkest hour, Darla walked into her life. The girl, who couldn’t have been more than nineteen, had marched up to her table with a determined look. Without hesitation, the teenager had plopped down in the chair across from her without so much as a by your leave. The first words out of her mouth were “I hear you’ve a room to let”.
Janice had been caught off guard, staring at the intruder in shock. No such advert had been posted.
“I’ll take it,” Darla declared, figuratively and literally barging her way into Janice’s life. Janice had doubted the girl would take no for an answer, even if she had a mind or will to utter that word. She had the room, and the girl carried her worldly possessions in a tiny rucksack.
Just like that, Janice accepted Darla into her house.
Just like that, Janice accepted Darla into her heart.
It quickly became obvious that Darla had issues. Now that she had someone to cook for, Janice prepared large meals. The girl barely ate what was offered, picking at her meals to appease Janice. It was clear that the girl considered it a chore.
Worse yet, several times when passing the younger female’s room, Janice had heard the unmistakable sound of retching. While Darla wasn’t skinny, this could not be a good sign. Once there was even a bucket in the loo, waiting to be cleaned. True, it had already been emptied, but there were still traces inside, leaving Janice to wonder what the girl had eaten that could have produced that particular shade of pink.
Janice was at a loss. Darla needed help, and Janice didn’t know how to get it for her. However, she adored the girl’s company, and she would do everything in her power to keep Darla happy and healthy.
Then, after three weeks of living together, without warning Darla showed up leading a man. His name was Victor. Darla had found him in an alleyway, recently homeless and downcast. Darla offered to pay for a room for him as well. Janice was wary, but she gave in to those beautiful brown eyes that Darla flashed at her.
The large empty house now had three residents . . . not counting the cats.
It turned out that Victor had a hard time keeping a job due to his inability to deal with what he called "stupidity". He claimed that he didn’t have anger issues. He said he could not tolerate those who refused to acknowledge the obvious. The stories he told along those lines were amusing, like the time he got fired for calling a customer an idiot. Apparently, the man had complained that his payment hadn’t shown up on his statement. After checking, Victor had informed him that the payment had been recorded on the fifteenth, while the statement had been printed on the fourteenth. The customer had then angerly said that he had received the statement on the nineteenth, so why wasn’t his payment recorded? Victor had repeated that the statement had been printed on the fourteenth, to which the customer had yelled at him that the statement was received in the mail on the nineteenth, so why wasn’t his payment shown on the bloody paper? Things had proceeded to go downhill from there.
With no outstanding commitments, Victor had started helping Janice in her workshop. Together, they started turning out more finished pieces, which Victor had suggested they sell. Surprisingly enough, that turned out to be profitable as well as enjoyable. Better yet, both of them were relishing the time spent together.
It would have been perfect, if not for the worry. The frequency of hearing vomiting from Darla’s room increased noticeably.
Victor had suggested it was time to put their proverbial foot down. A doctor’s appointment was made, and Darla was firmly informed that she would be attending.
The very next morning, Darla didn’t come down for breakfast. Concerned, they had checked her room, only to find it empty. Worse yet, Darla’s rucksack was nowhere to be found.
Distressed, Janice had buried herself in Victor’s embrace to wail.
They had to find the girl.
They had to help the girl.
Janice had found comfort in Victor’s arms for the first time.
Janice had found the missing something for the first time.
It wouldn’t be the last time.
This was hardly Milo's first party; he was attending uni, after all. However, he was not even a pretender; he lacked anything resembling a clue. Still, he could dream. He knew that was the only way he had any chance with the gorgeous stranger who rapidly approached. She was extremely easy on the eyes, and her long, luxurious red hair framed a flawless heart-shaped face. He had always thought that a figure to die for was simply a figure of speech; he now knew better. This redhead was screaming, "I'm out of your league" without moving her perfect lips.
Still, she headed directly for him. Milo couldn't help but remember all the good things he'd heard about redheads. As she came ever closer, he couldn't help but remember all of the bad things he had heard about them, as well. The expression on her face left no doubt as to the intensity of their tempers. He could practically feel the anger she was directing toward him. The girl had stormed through the crowd and now confronted him with a scowl.
“Can I help you?” Milo asked, slightly crushing the cheap plastic cup he had been holding.
“Are you kidding me?” the girl snapped. “This is getting ridiculous.”
“What?” Milo asked, more bewildered than he had ever been in his life. “Do I know you?”
“Don’t be stupid,” she snapped. “That’s not important. You walked right by her four times. How could you be so oblivious?”
“W . . . what?” Milo stuttered slightly under the onslaught.
“Enough of this nonsense.” The vision of beauty reached out, grabbed his hand, and began dragging him through the gathering of partygoers.
Milo could very easily have reclaimed his appendage, but no woman had shown such an interest in him before, let alone a hot redhead. One could have credited his curiosity. One could also have credited his amusement at the situation. One could even have credited his boredom at being a wallflower. However, the plain truth of the matter was that his reasoning began and ended with "hot redhead". To be honest, hormones have the backing of countless generations of evolution; thus, they can and will trump common sense or even self-preservation with disturbing regularity.
It wasn’t long before the redhead loomed up to two girls engaging in what appeared to be a deep conversation. The gorgeous blonde looked up at their approach and gave a small frown of her own. “Larva?” she demanded in an annoyed voice. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Filling my quota,” the redhead snapped irritably as she reached out, grabbing the brunette who had been talking to the blonde. With a deft tug, the redhead made Milo and her newest victim stumble together. “There we go. Perfect.”
“Are you crazy?” the brunette demanded angerly.
“No. Just impatient,” Larva snapped back. “Your two auras are screaming to be together, and frankly it’s getting annoying.”
“Larva, you can’t just . . .” started the blonde.
“Shut up, Feelers,” Larva snapped. “This is one of the easier ones. We’ve got bigger fish to fry, as the saying goes.”
“You are crazy,” stated the brunette, stepping closer to Milo, unconsciously trying to distance herself from the disturbed redhead.
“Yeah, yeah,” Larva said. “Yada, yada, you’ve berated me; are you happy? Now get to know each other, learn to appreciate each other, and produce lots of lovable children. You can thank me later; I’ve got tougher nuts to crack.”
“I need to introduce you to the concept of subtlety.” Feelers sighed. “This is stupid.”
“If it's stupid but it works, then it’s not stupid,” Larva countered, grabbing the blonde’s hand, dragging her off to who knew where.
“You have got to stop spouting catchphrases.” Feelers’ voice faded as the two girls disappeared into the crowd.
Milo looked down at the brunette he somehow found himself holding. “You have some weird friends,” he declared.
“Weird friends?” The brunette looked up into his eyes, truly noticing him for the first time. “I thought they were with you.”
“No.” Milo shook his head, “I just got ambushed by the redhead. First time I’ve ever seen her, to tell the truth.”
The brunette gave him a thoughtful look before saying, “I just met Feelers a few minutes ago. God, what self-respecting woman goes by the nickname 'Feelers'? That’s trouble just waiting to happen.”
She had started a conversation with Milo.
It wouldn’t be the last time.
It was a somber day in the old mansion. Though no one was crass enough to give voice to the thought, everyone there knew the occasion was a long time in the making. Many had already come to terms with the event that was even more unavoidable than taxes. Though sudden, the development was far from unexpected.
The family patriarch had fallen asleep the night before, never to awaken. Calls had been made, leading to an impromptu gathering over lunch. Everyone showed up. Even Felicity and her girlfriend of fourteen years defiantly attended, along with their ten-year-old daughter. None were turned away; all were welcomed to pay their respects. Maids, and chauffeurs, business partners and gardeners, everyone there had been touched by his life.
His last wishes were personified by three special guests. His favorite solicitor and his former nurse stood together; they were now a couple after humoring the old man's request that they go on a date. The matron of the new orphanage sponsored by the old man loudly declared that her life's ambition had been realized as a result of the deceased's last official act.
They came to share their memories.
They came to share their hopes.
They came to share their love.
They gathered as friends and family.
It wouldn’t be the last time.
Elisa Bates was free to follow her dreams. Her life had been completely transformed. She no longer had to worry about the daily drudgery of motherhood; her daughter was a witch who spent most of the year at boarding school. She no longer had to worry about a job; to say that she was financially secure was an understatement. She now had the freedom to do what she wanted. Now, all she had to do was figure out what that was.
She had yet to work up the nerve to question those responsible for her new life. The goblins had gone out of their way to please both her daughter and her. She had been repeatedly told that this was not normal behavior for them. If she knew their motivation, she might be able to decide what she should do with her new life. The nagging suspicion that inquiring might bring an end to it all, stayed her curiosity.
One distinct change for the better was that she finally had people she could call friends. In her old life, she had gathered acquaintances and coworkers, but never friends. Now, she was in constant contact with several women whose children were also first year Gryffindors. Her life was so much brighter due to all of the changes. For the first time she could remember, she was considering joining the dating scene, something with which she had no experience and no idea how to begin. It wasn’t like a relationship would just drop into her lap out of nowhere.
Perhaps she should talk to Emma about it. A little help couldn’t hurt. A lot of help might even be better.
Perhaps she should pay attention to her shopping. She nearly knocked over a display of the escargot that she'd been seeking for her latest culinary experiments.
“Excuse me.” Elisa turned to find a redheaded woman yanking a startled-looking man. “Here you go,” the woman stated, shoving the man at Elisa. “Have fun.” She then walked away and was heard to say, “This is way too easy.”
“What was that all about?” Elisa asked, finding herself closer to the strange man than was strictly comfortable.
“I have no idea,” the man said. “She just grabbed me and yanked me over here without so much as a by your leave.”
“I suppose she fancies herself Cupid.” Elisa took a wary step backwards.
“I thought Cupid used arrows, not grappling,” replied the man.
“This is more than a little awkward,” Elisa said.
She looked up into hazel eyes.
It wouldn’t be the last time.
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CHANGLING SPEED DATING! They find you AND your match! Don't want it? TOO BAD!
I've enjoyed this new chapter of the story.
It wouldn’t be the last time.
How many dating services will go bankrupt due to the changelings.. Though they are probably doing a better job matching people than they do
10670028
I blame Queen Cadance for this. She would steal all potential customers of the dating services at this rate.
I wonder how Chrisalys will react to the pik queens actions, once she learns about them.
Heh. Still JUST ASK THE GOBLINS
Yeah, I can see Queen Cadance somehow tapping into the hive mind and making all this happen. "The Love Must Spread!"
Ah yes, the love starved bugs find the love starved humans.
Fantastic
I imagine they still spent a lot of time trying to track down Darla.
In any case, I foresee a lot more pink vomit in the future.
10670086
Well, I would say "Why didn't I think of that!" But then I remembered that chrysalis didn't get a chance to do it for the humans, and that ponies find love that easily anyway.
With the way this chapter has gone, yes it will.
Very nice job having changelings do what they do best.
10670035
How many will end up changeling-employing, once they find out what a dating service IS.
Gotta love the love bugs.
I’d use a changeling data service. Great for those who value efficiency.
... I gotta be honest with you, I had completely forgotten about the Bates.
so the love bug has struck.
i love it.
I have to say I am in 100% agreement with Victor. That customer was fucking stupid and deserved to be told off. You have NO IDEA (or actually, maybe you do...) how often I wish I could tell idiots like that off to their face, but I don't because I actually have a great deal of respect for my boss and don't want to hurt his business. Instead, I rant about them once they're out the door.
I do hope that Janice and Victor find "Darla" again, and accept her true changeling nature. That would be sweet.
Thank you for the update!
Through it all, ive noticed that you never mentioned how the "bugs" are moving to and from equestria. Owls are a possibility but then how did they get one in the first place? are they capable of penetrating the world barrier like owls can? Do they have an artifact of some kind?
10670348
We seem to have an infestation!
Cadance's influence on the hive will likely have lasting impacts! Though I am still unsure about the old man who funded the orphanage... did he get replaced by a Changeling?
this was a really really fun chapter!
10670414
That Changling was chryssi in all her non evil ways
10670403
Cadence has a halfling daughter that was sent to Hogwarts. She used owls to send love jely home to the hive and it worked from thier.
10670585
Ah, so chrissy is using owls with pouches to slowly send her hive, one small group at a time, into the human world?
10670606
Nah, I think Cady is still in control of the hive. They are just having some "creative interpitations" of her orders.
Then again it could be an other hive that sliped trough whit an Equestrian at some point.
But I am resnably shour this chapter has a "Cady" influens.
You know...I like this.
I like the idea that Changelings are exceptionally good at figuring out who would work well as a couple because that generates more love they feed on. It fits hunter/gatherer mindset. And arranging the pairings like this...it's basically Changeling Agriculture.
Which is why it makes sense they haven't been able to do it before. Agriculture can only kick in when starvation isn't an ever looming threat and you can take the time to cultivate. And with everything happening, starvation is no longer a concern for Chrysalis' hive...so they can start cultivating.
I think they created a monster giving Cadence control of the hive, hopefully none of these match ups were already in a relationship.
10670028
Better than a dating service i read about in one short story back in high school. Sign up get tossed in a pit, they'll let you out when you find true love with one of the others in the pit. None of them are compatible? Well you stay in the pit till one signs up and is tossed in with you. Here they just drag you over to your match and let nature take its course. At least I assume they let you out of the pit, story ended with the main character seeing a girl on the other side. Its possible they just left you to live the rest of your life in the pit.
10670158
10670352
I agree i think they could have accepted her for who she is.
10670745
I'm fairly certain that would have been considered in Cadances's criteria. "Must not have existing romantic relationship"
The bigger question is if it's still Cadance pulling the shots, Chrysalis, or a third party...
10670833
Yes. I am aware of the meaning. But it is usually used in a context that would mean man to man or hand to hand combat. Should be hombre-a-hombre or mano-a-mano, if I remember my Spanish right
10670809
Well if Chryiss decided to change tactics fr love collecting she would do it in a really agressive manner
10671110
Ah, WOULD she though? This is not the canon Chrysalis. And without competition in the human world, would there be any need to be more aggressive?
more effective
10671148
I think it's really a personality trait she has, she thinks of herself as a predator, just cause she realizes that's not going to work wouldn't remove the tendencies over night, same goes for drones an aggressive feeder is going to be less than subtle as a match maker.
Seems like Cadence has built an army of love and sent them to do battle on earth.
Here’s some reference material.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/936687/unofficial-hazy-days-and-magical-ways-character-listing-interlude-1
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/936688/unofficial-hazy-days-and-magical-ways-thread-tracker-interlude-1
Such a peaceful assault at humanity :-)
None of them are compatible? Well you stay in the pit till one signs up and is tossed in with you. Here they just drag https://testmyspeed.onl/ you over to your match and let nature take its course. At least I assume they let you out of the pit.
10670028
Yeah I'm laughing at that.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2020/2/14/2274224.png
Changling Dating services inc, bringing your future mate at the speed of a derailed, crashing, speeding train LOL
Where do you sign up? :P
Eh, better than all of the Changeling Brothel headcanons I've read.
Changelings bond worlds together ♡
Changelings bond people together ♡
Changelings like to ship?
11449850
A good gardener tends to his garden.
11530522
♡
And reaps the fruits of his labor ♡
Chrysalis Changelings sure are efficient