Chapter 18: Harried Hydra Hide
For once, things were going according to plan. After time immemorial, he was finally having a steady stream of good luck, a steady stream of new mana. He could now use his reserves to increase the collection rate. The two women bound with streams of pure power were testament to that. They hadn’t even been that hard to capture. He had merely walked into their dwelling, ignoring their screaming. A few spells later and they were trussed up and awaiting his pleasures. He almost suspected that they were aware that they were about to augment his growing power.
He didn’t have an aura yet, but he would before the day ended. Soon, he would be able to make longer reaching plans. In ten days or so, he’d be able to claim the body of a young man; he would no longer be relegated to this dismal existence he had experienced for far too long. He would rule once again. Nothing could stop him.
Neither of the women had ceased their screaming, yet they still managed to raise their volume when he raised his weapon and took a purposeful step toward them. What an exquisite sound -- pity he would be putting an end to it. He could already taste the added power.
Before he took another step, the door to the dwelling exploded inward. The surprise forced him to hesitate for a precious split second. A man with an extravagantly-carved tree branch rushed in, with others easily seen behind him.
Good, new sacrifices were coming to him. Less time spent on going and finding them.
He had raised his knife to channel the spell that would add the newcomers to his collection when someone else summoned thunder.
He had no idea who had attacked. He was too busy flailing away as he watched as the air bent, slamming into his small form and disrupted his concentration, forcing him to drop his spell.
Before he could muster a counterattack, he was buffeted by yet another fist of air. The roar of thunder followed close behind. Thrice more in a steady cadence, he suffered the indignity of having thunder taunt him as he was juggled by the wind. Vaguely, he noticed the other men; they also had the carved tree branches. Those must have been some kind of magic staff. Whatever they were, they were effective, for the steady drum beat of thunder punctuated every blow. A glint of metal alerted him that he had been disarmed. Morbidly, he watched the knife and the limb attached to it sail across the room.
Desperately, he flailed for the mana the manabenders must have been using. Inexplicitly, they seemed to be able to block him. He could feel none of their mana.
The tempo increased, and he could feel his current body steadily being shaken apart. He had gotten too greedy, and was now paying the price.
With a silent howl, he abandoned his progress. He could feel the presence of more dolls. He would just have to move on and start over. At least he was able to keep enough of his gains to be able to continue passive collection of mana.
Someone would pay for the indignity. It was only a matter of time.
The modest suburban living room had an avian guest. Mrs. Thomas sighed after reading the letter the owl had brought. “Dear!” she called out.
“What’s up?” Mr. Thomas asked, wandering into the room.
“Dean and his friends got suspended from school.” Mrs. Thomas frowned. “They owled him to Mrs. Applejack for the duration.”
Mr. Thomas blinked in surprise. “Why’d they send him there instead of home?”
“I signed a form that gave Mrs. Applejack in loco parentis rights, just like all the other parents from England did,” Mrs. Thomas said. “The children are a herd, and it is easier on the teachers to treat them as such. They are already stressed by the new workload and changes in the curriculum.”
Mr. Thomas sighed. “What did he get suspended for? Fighting?”
“I don’t know,” Mrs. Thomas admitted. “This letter is from Mr. Mac. Apparently, his sister is somewhere not appropriate for children, so the kids were sent to their farm. Looks like he just scribbled out a quick note to let us know where they were.”
“Did they want us to pick him up?”
“No idea, would you mind riding the owl and go remind Dean how to behave properly?”
Mr. Thomas looked at the patiently waiting white owl. He relented. “I suppose I should.” After a heartbeat, he asked, “Where are we going to put him if I bring him back?”
“He can sleep on the couch.”
Emma Granger looked at the letter in her hand in bewilderment. “Dan?” she called out.
“Coming,” came Dan’s voice as Emma noticed a lightly-glowing rune on the owl’s pouch.
Dan Granger came into the room just in time to be serenaded by the pouch regurgitating an unknown man.
“Hello,” Emma addressed the man.
“Hello,” he echoed, standing up and throwing the owl a disturbed look. “This doesn’t look like a farm.”
Emma did some quick calculations before saying, “I think Hedwig is doing the rounds before heading back to the farm. I assume you are Dean’s father?”
“That’s me.” Mr. Thomas nodded. “So, Dean wasn’t the only one to get suspended?”
“Looks that way.” Emma grimaced.
“Hermione got suspended?” Dan asked. “Our little girl is becoming a delinquent?”
“I don’t know how we’re supposed to handle this.” Emma sat down in a nearby chair. “It’s a good thing that she’s made friends, but suspended?”
“I’m thinking they must have gotten into another fight,” Mr. Thomas said. “Normal children being stupid.”
“Hermione doesn’t pick fights.” Emma shook her head. “In fact, we’ve sent her for basic defense training when we were worried about all the bullying she was going through; and she still let the bigger children intimidate her.”
“Times are a changing,” Dan said. “She’s gotten a big confidence boost since going to her new school.”
“They did pick a fight with that criminal.” Emma paled at the memory.
“Dean’s not the type to go looking for trouble,” Mr. Thomas said. “He will back up his friends though.”
“We are jumping to conclusions,” Dan said. “They were probably being picked on and responded accordingly. It happened to me more than once. The school doesn’t care who started it; everyone gets suspended.”
“Who is going to pick on someone who beat a bloody werewolf into a bloody pulp?” Emma dissented.
“Someone with something to prove,” Mr. Thomas said.
“Or someone who didn’t receive their allotment of brain cells,” Dan added.
“I suppose we should go and get their side of the story.” Emma started to get up from her seat.
“I’ll handle it,” Dan said. “This is probably a good time for our daughter to face the wrath of the ‘stern’ parent.”
“So, you want me to go while you stay here?” Emma asked.
“I was going to be the stern parent,” Dan stated, seemingly offended.
Emma barked a laugh but her heart wasn’t really in it.
Dumbledore looked around at the collection of professors in his office. He still wasn’t happy that his deputy had decided to suspend a good portion of the first-year class, but all of the children involved had had forms filled out removing him from the disciplinary decision making. “I assume you have completed your inspection of the children’s belongings,” he said to the room in general. “Is there anything else that needs to be added to the restricted list.”
“Just stun guns,” the Muggle Studies professor said. “Professor Goodman managed to ferret some out in the end.”
“Oh?” Dumbledore said, unfamiliar with the objects in question. “And where is the good professor?”
“Pomfrey said she’d release him shortly.” Berrytwist said, obviously unhappy. “She doesn’t expect any complications, but he did receive a shock to his system.” Frowning, she added, "I told Marcy not to touch the big red button."
“Nothing else of note then?” Dumbledore gave a grandfatherly smile.
“You mean besides the collection of silver weapons and armor?” the Muggle Studies professor asked.
“Indeed.” Dumbledore nodded.
“Miss Bloom has an impressive potions lab.” Professor Snape said. “She’s been brewing potions that would be too difficult for the O.W.L.s. I shall be keeping a closer eye on her.”
“We have an extraordinary batch of students this year.” Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled. “We should not want to discourage such innovation.”
“Speaking of innovation,” Professor Babbling said, “somehow, don’t ask me how or how accurate it is; they have compiled a list of the last words uttered by everyone ever to attend Hogwarts.”
“Really?” Dumbledore’s interest was piqued.
“It was sorted by house and frequency,” Professor Snape said.
“It is rather heartwarming,” Professor Sprout added. “The number one entry for Hufflepuffs is ‘I love you’. It’s enough to bring tears to your eyes.”
“You would think it’s heartwarming.” Professor Snape sneered.
“Hush now,” Professor Weiss said. “You’re just upset that the Slytherin’s most common last words are ‘Hmmm, this wine tastes off’.”
“I find my curiosity has raised its head.” Dumbledore said. “What of Ravenclaw?”
Professor Flitwick seemed to be suppressing pride as he answered, “It was ‘Hmmm, that’s funny’.”
“How appropriate.” Dumbledore beamed. “And Gryffindor?”
“I hardly see the point in this exercise.” Professor McGonagall lips thinned as she projected a stern visage.
“Now Minerva,” Dumbledore chided.
“Don’t mind her,” Professor Babbling said. “The words were ‘Hold my firewhisky and watch this'."
“Hello Granny,” Dan said as he picked himself off the farmhouse’s floor. “Big Mac around? We got his letter.”
“Howdy.” Granny Smith looked at the pack of humans that had just arrived at her house. “Ah’m afraid he’s a little preoccupied right now. Potent Potpourri has done and treed him again. He’ll be along sooner or later.”
“I think we should open by thanking you for taking care of the children, and apologize for the hassle they have caused,” Mr. Brown said.
“No hassle,” Granny said. “This is why y'all got one point o’ contact. They tend ta get in trouble as a herd. Besides, tha hog pens needed a good mucking out.”
“So? How bad are the damages?” Mr. Finnigan asked. “The letter was short on details.”
“Did they throw another attacker out a tower window?” Arthur Weasley asked.
“Nah.” Granny Smith shook her head. “The foals done got caught with enough explosives to bring down that there tower they live in.” She stood patiently and waited for the silence to pass.
After a few seconds, Mr. Brown said. “Is anyone else getting tired of the fact that the first thing to run through your head after hearing what your child has done is to wonder if the person telling you is joking or not?”
“Why on Earth did they have so many explosives?” Dan exclaimed.
“Jus’ in case Greyback breaks out,” Granny said. “Y'all need to teach them that there’s a difference in being prepared and being … ah got no word fer it.”
"Overkill?" suggested Dan.
“How is it possible to feel sorry for a murderous werewolf?” Arthur wondered.
“They really do have it out for Greyback.” Minister Lovegood spoke up for the first time. “I’m tempted to let him out of his cell and tell him to start running. I’m sure he’d crawl back before his trial next week.”
“If he’s capable a crawling, that is,” Mr. Brown said.
“Ah see tha mares have sent their stallions.” Granny broke in. “Is that a human thing?”
“I guess so,” Dan said. “Emma wanted to come, but I talked her out of it. Likewise, Augusta and Elisa decided to let us handle the punishments.”
Granny Smith shook her head. “Like Ah said, ah got 'em scrubbing the hog’s home. After that, Ah got no plans; it don’t make much sense ta kill thar self-preservation instincts.”
“That’s a stretch,” Dan said, “tying hording explosives to self-preservation instincts.”
“Makes me worried over what they’d do if they ever felt really threatened,” Mr. Brown added as he gingerly touched a recently regrown chunk of his throat.
“Ah’m more worried over what they do when they’re bored,” Granny countered. “At least when they are threatened, they have something else to focus on. Fewer random victims that way.”
“I suppose we should go have a word with them.” Dan sighed. “I can’t fault them for being worried, but they can’t be allowed to stockpile explosives. Where did they get them, anyway?”
“They made 'em,” Granny stated.
“They what?” said several of the males in the room.
“In mah day, foals made cutsie art projects.” Granny shrugged. “Ah have no idea what goes through tha heads of young’uns nowadays. Y'all ever hear about tha last hydra to rampage around these parts? Tha ponies in tha local garrison joke that hydras now have a flee on sight order against the Crusaders.”
“Right.” Arthur wiped his face with his hand. “Where are the children?”
Granny pointed with a hoof. “Tha pig pen is that-a-way. Jus' follow yer nose.”
One could be excused for thinking it was a Tuesday in Ponyville. Carts and barrels were overturned everywhere. Several houses were reduced to rubble and the residents were standing in the street, staring off in the distance with looks of shock on their faces while a familiar trio of mares lay senseless in the street.
“Just how dangerous is Diamond Tiara’s new pet?” Taro Root wondered out loud.
“That’s a stupid question,” Solid Streak snapped.
“Obviously more so than cursed cake,” said Vanilla Cream.
“I’m just glad it’s on our side,” said Cherry Blush
“I did not know that hydras scream like little fillies on helium when they’re terrified,” stated Hallowed Candle.
“Maybe it’s just afraid of snakes,” Sound Rebar suggested.
“You’ve got to admit, that’s a big snake,” Cloud Kicker added.
“That left ‘big snake’ a long time ago, blew right past ‘Sweet Celestia that’s an enormous snake’ and graduated to ‘are you sure that’s not a dragon crossbred with a worm?’” Cherry Berry said.
“I’ve seen smaller dragons.” Umber Shine noted.
Minuette coughed into her forehoof, "Spike."
“At least this will be easier to clean up after than the last hydra.” Mayor Mare sighed.
“You’d think they’d learn not to wander around here,” Taro Root said.
“Would somepony please wake the flower trio?” asked Mayor Mare.
“I may need to visit the hospital,” Minuette said. “I think all those heads screaming at once ruptured my left eardrum.”
The fathers met a fellow parent on their way to the pig pen. Bon Bon was only too happy to join the march toward the inevitable foal disciplinary session. Bracing for the expected stench, Mr. Brown reached out and jerked the door to the barn open. He wasn’t the only one bewildered by the sight to meet them. Everything was clean to the microscopic level. The hogs were all huddled in a corner, obviously traumatized with their skin actually sparkling.
The culprits had not finished. Scootaloo and the boys were surrounded in the center of the building. The rest of the girls had a spectrum of ribbons and were aggressively mixing and mismatching colors.
Harry turned toward the groan of the rusty hinges. With a pleading look, he whined at the newly-arrived adults. "Help us! Please help us!"
“This is cruel and unusual punishment.” Scootaloo added.
In a disconnected tone, Neville said to no one, "The horror. The horror."
"Ground us!" begged Dean. "Yell at us! Anything is better than this!"
The parents filed inside, gawking at the complete lack of any hint of decomposition.
“How?” Dan waved a hand, gesturing to the building in general. "This is cleaner than a surgery."
“Hmm?” Luna hummed as she tied a yellow ribbon in Dean’s hair. “Oh, we’ve gotten really good at casting scourgify.”
“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle frowned. “There isn’t always time to take a bath after getting covered in tree sap.”
“I think the periwinkle one would look good in Ron’s hair,” Abigail added, holding up a ribbon matching that color.
“Would you please just make us stand in the corner or something?” Ron wailed.
“Why am I on the receiving end?” Scootaloo moaned.
“Should we interrupt?” Minister Lovegood chuckled, forgetting why they were there in the first place.
“Yes, please,” Seamus pleaded.
“I’d say this was proper punishment if half of them weren’t enjoying it,” Bon Bon said. “I like that lime green one; it would be perfect for Harry.”
“Mum!” Harry protested.
“What?” Bon Bon asked. “It doesn’t match your eyes but offers a nice contrast.”
“Nah,” said Mr. Finnigan. “If you want a contrast try something like fuchsia.”
Dean moaned.
“Low blow,” Dan remonstrated. “Gather 'round children; we have things to discuss.”
“Why are you all in human form?” Bon Bon interjected. “Pony form is warmer.”
“It’s easier to cast in human form,” Hermione said with a shrug.
The herd was just starting to shuffle toward their parents when they heard the first of the screaming.
“What’s that?” Mr. Brown demanded as the ground started to shake.
“Sounds like a little girl on helium,” Dan said, racing for the door.
“Several of them, actually.” Mr. Thomas added. “We need to help!”
Arthur yanked open the door with his wand drawn only to stop dead at the sight.
“Hey!” Apple Bloom yelled at the retreating forms. “Watch tha trees!”
“That was a big bloody snake,” Mr. Finnigan gasped.
“Don’t worry, that was only . . .” Hermione stopped to look at Sweetie Belle. “What did Diamond end up naming him?”
“No idea,” Sweetie admitted.
“Tha trees,” Apple Bloom dejectedly moaned, waving at the disturbed plant life.
“What was he chasing?” Ron asked.
“That was a hydra,” Scootaloo stated.
“You’ve got some serious pests around here,” Seamus said.
“Do y'all have any idea how long it takes to grow a tree from a seed?” Apple Bloom moaned.
“They didn’t get too many of them,” Abigail said soothingly, patting Apple Bloom on her shoulder.
“That there pest needs a squashing,” Apple Bloom fumed.
“Cutie Mark Crusaders Pest Control!” Lavender declared.
“Yay!”
“What we got on hoof ta handle this?” Apple Bloom demanded.
“Not much, they got all of our explosives,” Seamus said, crestfallen.
“Only most of 'em,” Apple Bloom said. “Don’t matter none with the rest being at tha castle.”
“They’ve confiscated the flame throwers.” Dean frowned.
“Would that work anyway?” Ginny asked.
“It’s not a dragon.” Luna hummed. “No fire resistance.”
“Anyone have a ballista in their pocket?” Harry asked.
“No, but we could build one,” Scootaloo suggested.
“That would take too much time,” Sweetie Belle vetoed.
“The river is frozen over.” Hermione thought out loud. “We could lure it onto the ice and then let Dean and Seamus have at it.”
“Instant hydra-sickle,” Lavender said approvingly.
“That’s a plan,” Apple Bloom said. “Scootaloo, you and Harry go get its . . .”
“Wait!” Mr. Thomas yelled. “Stop! Just forget it! You are not hunting hydras.”
“I’m going to go owl to request for some members of the Magical Creature Control department.” Minister Lovegood squeezed past the individuals blocking the doorway. “They’ll have a fit if I leave them out of this.”
“By the way, what do you mean they only got most of them?” Bon Bon turned looking directly at Apple Bloom.
“We do not have normal children,” Arthur sighed as he closed the door behind the departing man.
Morning had broken, albeit not quite as dramatically as the Ponyville garrison. Once more, the site had come to life. The excitement of the previous day had somehow rippled through to this secluded part of town. In the ensuing chaos, the construction ponies expanding the facility had somehow managed to destroy every amenity. Consequently, the guard ponies were now enjoying the rustic charm of field conditions as they attempted their morning briefing over the din of heavy construction.
“Listen up!” barked Sergeant Shortbread. “We have a new game plan for the foreseeable future.” This caught the full attention of everypony present, even the construction ponies. “There has been a hydra spotted in the vicinity. As such, it is now our top priority.”
“It’s about time,” commented Private Fauna. “They are an essential part of the local ecosystem; we’ve been working our hooves off ever since the last one wandered somewhere it wasn’t welcome.”
“From what I hear, the new one has already wandered through the town,” added Private Flora.
“Ran through, more like it,” said Private Goldbrick. “After its encounter with a local pet, it won’t be hard to persuade that certain areas are to be off limits.”
“How badly damaged was the town?” asked Corporal Phantom.
“Not even Tuesday level,” replied the sergeant. “Merely an inconvenience. They just had to pull a few houses out of storage and do a bit of cleanup.”
“This is the only town I know of that has spare houses at the ready,” said Fauna.
“So, just the basic grunt work of training our new hydra then?” asked the corporal.
“There is a complication,” Shortbread said. “Our new charge has already managed to upset the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”
A round of groans rolled through the collected ponies.
“What?” asked Private Patsy. “Who are the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”
“They are a local herd of foals,” Goldbrick answered.
“Remember the good old days when there were only three of them?” asked Fauna.
“Wait,” said Private Patsy. “I know I may be new here, but are you telling me that we have to protect an apex predator from a group of harmless foals?”
“Are you trying to get us to redefine our definition of harmless?” asked Flora.
“This job just got a whole lot harder,” groaned Goldbrick.
“By the way,” said Private Fading Violet shyly. “You shouldn't take any bets against the Crusaders.”
“You’re yanking my tail," huffed Patsy. "There’s no way foals are more dangerous than a full-grown hydra.”
“Do you want to bet?” asked Fading Violet.
“They’re the ones who blew up our last hydra,” said Fauna.
“Horse apples!”
“You know, the normal initiation to the Crusaders is drinks for the squad,” said the corporal. "Are you sure you don't want to reconsider?"
“I thought they went back to their foreign school,” said Goldbrick.
“They will be in the area due to being suspended for stockpiling explosives,” said Shortbread. “We only have to worry about them for a week.”
“Plenty of time to blow up the new hydra,” groaned Goldbrick.
“It’s your job to see that doesn’t happen,” said Corporal Phantom.
“Would you all stop trying to pull the wool over my eyes?” said Patsy. “I’m not falling for it.”
Sergeant Shortbread sighed. “You’re just going to have to see it to believe it. Anyways, there are new humans floating around; they want to observe how we handle a hydra.”
“Humans?” asked Patsy. “Those minotaur-like things that all the mares are raving about?”
“One and the same.”
“Are any of them unattached stallions?” asked Fading Violet hopefully, and not so quietly.
“No fraternizing on the job,” commanded the corporal.
“You just want them for yourself.” griped Fading Violet.
“I’m not that greedy,” said Phantom. “I’ve heard what one can do with a dose of pepper-up potion.”
“So, share?”
“Don’t be so quick. Fooling with them is an instant herd.” said Fauna.
“I fail to see the problem with that.”
“I didn’t say it was a problem; I’m just saying you're going to want more than just two mares.”
“If you don’t mind?” said the sergeant. “We have actual work to do.”
“That’s what we were talking about,” said Fading Violet.
“Work that we are getting paid to do,” the sergeant corrected.
“It’s just a harmless hydra,” Patsy snarked.
“You’re getting better with that word, but you still need some work.”
“Get up y'all.” Apple Bloom hopped up and down on her bed, disturbing the pony pile still slumbering away.
“Whazzup?” Dean slurred. “More chores?”
“Nah,” Apple Bloom returned. “Mah brother is being a right grump and says he’ll take care of the downed trees by himself an’ Granny was right impressed by tha job we did on the pig pen. She told me ta stay out of trouble an' go have some fun.”
“That’s a surprise,” Hermione said sleepily.
“She chuckled all funny-like when she said it,” Apple Bloom admitted. “Ah think she’s been taking lessons from Discord.”
“So, what’s the plan?” Dean asked with his eyes still closed.
“After breakfast, we're going ta deal with that hydra, teach him not to knock down helpless apple trees,” Apple Bloom said.
“We’re not allowed to go out hunting it,” Abigail objected; disappointment clearly in her voice.
“We can’t, but we can set traps. Teach him ta stay away from the farm.”
“What did you have in mind?” Seamus perked up.
“Nothing explosive,” Apple Bloom said and Seamus sighed, reclosing his eyes and lowering his head. “Ah haven’t exactly decided yet either.”
“It’s not like we don’t have a load of new books on curse breaking,” Harry said.
“But that’s for removing traps, not setting them,” Ron objected.
“You need to know how they work to take them down,” Neville said. “There are some plant-based traps I’d like to try.”
“We’ll give that varmint what’s fer,” Apple Bloom said.
“All right, let’s get to it,” Ginny said.
“I wonder what hydra tastes like,” Sweetie added.
In the Great Hall, Terisa looked at the girl scowling down at her plate. “Don’t take it so hard,” she advised.
“How can I not take it hard?” Parvati said. “All of my friends are off having adventures, and I’m stuck here taking notes.”
“I’m sure they aren’t having adventures,” said Terisa. “They are more likely being punished for getting suspended.”
“I should be with them.” Parvati pouted.
“Don’t say that too loudly,” Lucy whispered. “Else, the professors will remember that you should technically be suspended too.”
“It’s not fair.” Parvati continued to pout.
High noon marked the end of the morning patrol, and the squad of guard ponies was eagerly returning to base for lunch. Hopes for a routine end to their morning were dashed by an indescribable stench. Grimacing, they double-timed toward the source.
When they reached a local park, they were horrified by what they found. Something long and thin was writhing on the grill. Somehow, the foals gathered around it seemed to savor the scent of searing flesh.
Private Patsy stumbled as his squadmates shoved him toward the ghouls. Doing his best to hold down his bile, he demanded, "Why aren't you foals in school?"
“We got suspended for a week,” a thestral filly said. turning away from the wriggling abomination. “It’s okay though; we were ahead of everyone else in our class.”
“Sweet Celestia,” gagged Private Fauna. “Is that what I think it is?”
A yellow colt with red mane and tail shrugged. “We only managed to get the tip of its tail.”
“We aren’t allowed to use explosives,” complained an ivory white unicorn colt.
“Bugger is surprisingly fast,” a blue pegasus colt griped.
“Ah think we may have learnt him not ta mess with the Apple farm,” said a yellow filly with a pink bow in her mane.
“How much longer?” whined a white unicorn filly.
“Be patient,” said a fluorescent orange unicorn filly. “The insides are probably still pink.”
“That’s how I like it,” said the white filly. “Cut me off a slice.”
“Could you at least wait until it stops moving?” complained a small red unicorn filly.
"But . . . but . . . but we're herbivores," sputtered Private Patsy.
The fluorescent orange filly replied, "Technically, we can process a little animal protein in this form."
Licking her lips, the white filly said, "I can't wait to change."
A fuchsia colt said, "Did anyone bring the barbeque sauce."
“Got it right here.” A light grey thestral filly held up a bottle.
Private Patsy blanched before turning to the rest of his patrol. “I’m buying the first round tonight, aren’t I?”
“Yup.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.025 seconds
Total duration
1,021 users online
188,345 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Wow. Look, at some point, they'll have to realize that there's no disciplining them, and then all that's left is for Celestia to turn them into a knightly order and threaten to send them to other countries if she doesn't get her trade concessions.
Yeah, that sounds like Ponyville.
10867578
Given how the CMC proactively handled this Hydra after being told not to go hunt it with some basic rules lawyering, that idea is going to end with the CMC knight order starting wars with other nations in a proactive attempt to do their jobs of protecting Equestria. Probably win a few of them too, judging by their memetic power in this story.
I'm sure they could still find a way to destroy the hydra. Wonder what function it serves in the enviroment
10867596
Apex predator keeping a bunch of the lesser predators in check, I wager. Hydra munches on manticore, manticore population less likely to explode to the point where they go looking for food outside of Everfree, that sort of thing.
Wonder if the reason the myths say the head grows back is because the tail grows back, but which hero gains accolades for slying a beast when all they done is let it run off leaving a distraction behind, lizerd style?
At least they only learnt scourgify, Hermione hasnt quite got the animal fertilizer as a ingredient source spell down yet?
If so, see if you find a Dragonator.
I'm pleasantly surprised by how focused this chapter was. Not too much bouncing around from sub-plot to sub-plot.
10867578
That must be considered a war crime
10867578
I'm not sure if it was in this story or the prequel, but I clearly recall Luna commenting at one point that she looked forward to the time when she could simply point them at a problem and say "Fix it".
10867666
Bonus points if it's not a problem they caused.
Good chapter, after the previous chapter, I was expecting to read something like "Cutie mark crusaders demon hunters", I think King Sombra qualifies as a demon? Well, since the Shadow King is heading to equestria to get information and the Crusaders still have a few more days before they go back to school, the possibility that they will meet still exists. I say that the hero of the crystal ponies will be either the Crusaders or a magic trunk, both are good, I laugh just imagining King Shadow fleeing from the Crusaders or from his face of horror just before being swallowed by it. magic trunk.
I am rereading the story, and I was wondering when will be the birth of the son or daughter of Discord and the son or daughter of Professor Flitwick. I would honestly like to see Discord nervous again.
10867614
"Where is my Dragonator!?" A voice calls out, making all who remember World perk up.
Which plies the question. When they're all old enough, how much trouble do you think they'd cause a Fatalis or one of it's Variants?
Would they have Dragonators?
Would they try to involve all three worlds?
Would they destroy the guild, or try to tame the monsters?
*Imagines Rathalos being ridden by Scoots as she cackles, shooting her wand after some Kulu Yaku*
Sorry for getting off topic a bit, but ahem! They seriously do have quite the gumption. XD. Going to be interesting to see how they handle things in the future if they ever meet an actual threat, not just a poor Hydra..
Here's some reference material.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/953461/unofficial-hazy-days-and-magical-ways-character-listing-ch-18
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/953462/unofficial-hazy-days-and-magical-ways-tread-tracker-ch-18
-- Rich
10867714
If King Sombra had good information (ie, spies) and any common sense whatsoever, he'd have begun running days ago, and not stopped until he reached Saddle Arabia.
10867585
I envision Ponyville as having a stockpile similar to the classic (and woefully underappreciated) Lustron solid steel house, stored in a warehouse somewhere and ready to be reassembled at a moment's notice.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lustron_house
10867837
Off-topic, but those Lustron houses remind me of the homes in Fallout 4.
The Crusaders cannot be stopped at this point! Hahaha!
10867755
Ok... I'm missing the reference... can anyone clue me in, please?
10867851
Except by... the Mirror-verse Crusaders!
10867866
Would they have goatees to signify them being evil?
Now I know who didn't attend the briefing before coming here. Because I am pretty sure they has that information in the job description.
Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about the guy possessing the Chucky doll. Man, that's a throwback way to the beginning of the story.
10867868
Nah, haven't you read the Evil Overlord's List?
Rule 35: I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
10867755
I think the answer to all of those questions is yes.
10867855
Dragonators, Kulu Yaku, Rathalos are all from the Monster Hunter series by Capcom.
Ballista in a pocket is kind of a reference to the fact that Dragonators are giant spinning drills that are very compact for their size, and devastating to monsters.
Hopefully that answered your questions.
I fucking love this fic
You can discribe the CMC with many words, harmless is definitly none of it!
it is hard to believe that a story that is so totally awesome just keeps getting better.
Ahh Guard reaction to the crusaders.....i shudder to think of the terror they will cause when they become legal adults
JSYK, that would mean "after before legal memory, he was finally having..." and given that this is in the UK more specifically "after before the 6th of July 1189...."
Time immemorial doesn't simply mean "a long time" it means "this is far enough back that you can't use things from then as the basis for a legal claim."
Sweet Celestia, i'm gonna die laughing one of these days from reading this series.
Most excellent.
Reading this chapter on a mobile. This whole section, I just keep going "oh no" after each linebreak. Then Sweeties broke me and I dropped my phone.
10867834
In my head cannon Sombra's first Resurrection was botched so he wasn't mentally all there, it's why when Discord brought him back he was more bombastic and talkative. Sombra's spell was necromancy combined with a curse so he came back not quite right, Discord warped reality to make him fully alive again. So he's ganna make mistakes because he's essentially brain damaged in this story.
So funny !!! Thanks for the update!
10867666
The only time I recalled Luna considered doing this was in a chapter of Three Wishes.
10868533
That, and about thirty gallons of whiskey.
And that was how G5 was made.
well this was an amusing chapter to read right before bed. Nice chapter and they did follow the no hunt rule.
Yeah, at this rate, it's definitely more a matter of how to channel the Crusade constructively than how to stop it. Even so, that's easier said than done.
10867755
The trick is getting some good materials before Sweetie eats it all.
please, please, oh PLEASE!!!!, let the ponyville garrison keep the hydra as a mascot...
I can just see the giant 3/4 headed hydra doing its best to cower behind the town guards. shaking like a leaf, as Dimond strolls by while taking her loving snake for a walk... er slither. the town already has a Truant Officer and Timberwolf exterminator by the name of Fluffy, and a 65 to 70 foot-death stair, uber poisonous viper protecting the gated-rich section of town... why can't the town guards have a hydra as a pet?
Sergent Shortbeard paused in the inspection of his troops, doing his level best to keep one or both of his front hooves from jumping up to meet his face. "Privet Patsy," he gave a tired sigh. "Why, in Celestia's name, is there a barn trying to hide behind your tail?"
"It's Muffy Sir," Patsy said, glancing over his shoulder at the cowering barn. "She heard that Dimond Teara was going to be taking her pet to Fluttershy's today so she decided to hide in the barn during our patrol."
"And when Muffy discovered that we couldn't just stop in the middle of our assigned patrol," Private Fauna continued. "She picked it up off its foundation and kept following us."
"You know," Private Patsy turned to his partner. "It says something about the mental state of the townsfoke, when no pony bats an eye at a building following two guards through the city streets."
"Or the fact that no pony said anything about said barn pissing itself when Dimond walked past it over on 3rd street," Fauna giggled.
"Muffy?" the Sergent gave a ragged huff. "You've already named the thing?"
"Well, it is kinda hard not to Serg, when it eeps like a little filly and tries to hide beneath Patsy here at the slightest hint of loud hissing." Private Fauna giggled.
"So, can I keep her Serg, prity please?" Privet Patsy saked...
I would feel remiss if I did not post this link to a webcomic that centers around the pre-teen students of a gifted class. They would get on like gangbusters with the Crusaders.
http://www.precociouscomic.com/archive/copperroad/2010/03/04
I don't think some people realize how easy (and cheap!) it is to make explosive hydrogen from water:
(I watched this and immediately thought of the crusaders.)
Not gonna lie and this glorious chaos with the CMC had me giggling like a loonatic
10883860
I hope and pray that the CMC do not find out about this. Knowing them, they'll try to make explosive hydrogen and end up with a hydrogen bomb (nuclear).
reminds me of the novel "expendable" by Craig Shaw Gardner: it's about an "Explorer", someone who is trained to handle First Contact situations and is the first to land on unknown planets...
the most common Last Words of Explorers are "oh, shit."
reminds me of this funny fan-comic:
https://www.deviantart.com/wadusher0/art/Ask-Pun-Attack-of-the-Kelpie-18-606852532
11023700
IRL, the most common words of pilots before crashing are some form of cursing.
10883860
I don't see a problem here. Have Shining Armor make a shield, stuff Moldyshorts / the beetle / Sombra into it with the H-bomb, send it to the moon and detonate.
Absolutely priceless meme
Ponys in general fear the Everfree Forest.
The Everfree Forest fears CMC in general...
CMC Explosion Desaster
I can see why Stallions can consider Mares a chore...
Magha might share that taste...
They give him many warnings