Mods are alseep, post fanfics about talking horses.
You know that scene in the episode "The Elements Of Harmony" where Twilight falls off a cliff and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy catch her? Well, what if they couldn't catch her in time and Twilight got seriously injured? How will her friends react when they find out that she only has a few more hours left to live. Read this story to find out.
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>twilight fucking dies
Wait, how'd they get her out of the Nightmare-haunted cursed forest?
Rest in Pineapples, Twinkle Sprinkle. We will remember you.
Nope. Just NOPE. Aside from the fact that this goes against literally everything we saw from Episode 2, and not having the AU tag to try and justify any of it.
This is badly written that I lost brain cells trying to read it. Add to it that this is supposed to be a one shot from the description, and yet its marked incomplete.
Either that, or there's more to come.
10303060
Seems legit.
10303459
i think you're just taking it a little too much to heart
I think this story is more tone confused than anything. Is it suppose to be dark and sad, or a dark comedy? I think it has elements or both and they are clashing with one another. The story lingers on the weight of Twilight's injuries and how severe they are, but Twilight dies so suddenly the impact of her death is weakened.
The logic that was used around her death doesn't really work either. Applejack and the others was able to get Twilight to the hospital alive, but by time they could talk to her she just had minutes left. If she was about to die when the others brought her in, the doctors would've let her go as peacefully as they could. This would work in a comedy, but not a serious story. If the interaction happened in the forest it would've worked better, but Spike wouldn't be present for her death.
If this is suppose to be a dark comedy, you should add the comedy or random tag. I came into this story expecting it to be serious and that's probably what the people who down-voted this expected as well. I'm not going to vote on the story because I'm rather confused what to make of it. It could work, but you seemed confused on the tone (I also write and have gotten the same criticism, so I know how it goes).
I'm posting this without any real structure, so sorry if this seems rather scattered.
I need a sequel, because now that twilight is dead what about the elements of Harmony? What about nightmare moon? And what about discord and everything else that happens in the show?
And thus begins the Nightmare Moon timeline.