• Member Since 17th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 27th, 2022

Duelist925


T

Applejack still feels a mite guilty over the conclusions she jumped to when the Mane Six first met Zecora.

So she baked an apology pie!

A bit of alcohol, and a night she cant remember though, lead to some....complications.

EDIT

Am currently rewriting this to be less....painful to read.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 24 )

I.Love. your.rhymes! :) good fic too

Great story, you portray Zecora and Applejack very well.:ajsmug:

83287
Thank you! The rhymes are by far the most difficult part. Writing a rhyming character is a rather unique challenge. XD


83460

Thank you! I try. ^_^

Man this is the first AppleXZecora ship i've seen... I really like it I hope you continue this was quite the enjoyable read.

I hereby dub this ship... Applecora!

*is beaten soundly*

I'd never thought of this ship before, but now that I see it, it makes sense, at least for now. Here's hoping all goes well for them! Though I'm sure it won't, here and there. :fluttercry:

I just hope she wasn't humming Evil Enchantress to herself on the way out. :pinkiegasp:

Please post more of this great story

Favorited!

Yay for Zechora and Applejack!

wat

Grapple, chapel, Snapple?

An interracial same-sex couple? I hate to say this, but the people in my town would be so pissed about that. That's one of the reasons I hate it here. This is one of the things I like about this fandom: they do awesome things like this. I love this story.

127115 What about Dapple?

dap·ple
   [dap-uhl] noun, adjective, verb, (-pled, -pling.)

noun
1.
a spot or mottled marking, usually occurring in clusters.

2.
an animal with a mottled skin or coat.


ALLONS-Y!!!

The plot of the story was interesting, but the writing is in desperate need of proper editing.
Each chapter is rife with errors in spelling, punctuation, and grammar. (To say nothing of the typos.)
I'm not counting things like Applejack's manner of speech, either. (Which you may also want to take a second look at.)
That said, clean this up a bit and you'll have a very nice story on your hands.

Chapel wink-wink nudge-nudge eh?

129835

Thank you for the constructive criticism--I'm trying to become a better writer, so I relish any I can get.

I'll probably be editing this a fair bit more at some point. Thanks again!

You win twenty points for using 'poleaxed' in a story.

132022

Can I redeem the points for fun and amusing prizes? :pinkiehappy:

Just read the epilogue, great way to end the story. Looking forward to your next story.

Damn fine ending mate!

"WHat in the hay....?"

What

Man....granny smith is gonna be so mad at me when ah get home..

Granny Smith

She chuckled to herself, sliding out of the bed, and noticing something else--the silly pony had left her had behind. She sighed, picking it up and stowing it in Applejack pack, also left behind.

Hopefully 'hat' not 'head':twilightoops:
Applejack's

"Ah! May you have a morning without cares! Where go you now--to sell your wares?" SHe said warmly.

She

"Thats....weird. I think shes up in the field, buckin trees. "

that's she's (apostrophes)
delete space before last quote mark (although now I'm being picky:ajsleepy:)

Big mac shook his head. "Nnnooope. Applejacks a grown mare

Mac

"Ah, stray thoughts. Ne're mind. Id' held ya find her, but its mah turn to sell some apples. So...G'day."

help

SHe might have been bucking them a...bit....too hard,

She

She called up as she amde her way up the hill

made

Applejack had been agonizing pver the previous night ever since she awoke to find herself beisde the other equine in bed,

over

"NOthin happened, ya striped...striped...stripy thing!" She growled. "Ah was drunk and passed out, and we dinna do nuthin, got it? Ah Aint like that. Ah aint a fillyfooler or mare mounter or whatever the dang word is!"

Nothin or Nuthin?
aint

"RIght you are that nothing occured.

Right
occurred

His conveniently expository meandering thoughts were interrupted by his sisters sigh, and the sound of her plopping down on hte porch next to him

the

"....Aj, ya aint ever really had anything ya might call a gentleman caller.

AJ (both capitals)

She looked up, challenge in her eyes. "AH lahk mares."

Ah (now too many capitals)

AH mean, what would everyone think if'n they knew?" SHe traced a hoof nervously on the wooden plants.

Ah, She (Ay Caramba:derpyderp2:)
planks

"So? Ya'll ain't even gonna try? Aj, I thought bettern'that of you."

AJ
better'n that (looks better spaced)

SHe snorted at him.

She

She snickered, mood a little brightened by the teasing, and hopped down from the porch to head back towards the Forest.

one less space after comma
forest
Sorry for the list but I just couldn't stop spotting these evil ones.:unsuresweetie:

I know you;d never....er. Take advantage of a filly in such a state."

you'd

familiies allus makin too much and servin the leftovers tah the help the next day,

families (too many 'i's,) alwuz or alwus (not sure how to edit southern?)

Any ills between ? are but a smudge.

I might be wrong but should there be 'us' here?

The table and dining room were fairly large--not only to hold the large number of Aples there (While not the full clan, more than a few) but also,

Apples

And what the hay, every cook we ever turn out allus winds up makin more'n even this lot kin eat."

Still not sure about this word?
Twain pokes fun at many of the aspects of Southern life in the 19th century ..... reflects the tone of the book because the book is written in a southern dialect and the ... ag'in, whah you b'longs, en doan' do nuffin to Ole Jim, 'at 'uz alwuz yo' fren'.
It 'wuz' gud enuf fer Twain?:yay:

SHe chuckled softly, and began doing the same, quickly filling her plate as everyone dug in

She

The zebra had to hold back a snicker when their hoofs accidentally met, and Aj had pulled away as if burned blushing.

AJ

Honestly, she shoulda been there awhile ago, but she'd refused as long as Zecora was there.

should've (wasn't in southern speech quote, so thought it should be corrected, leave it to you?)

Still, at least they had insisted on sending her with a set of saddlebags stuffed with leftovers. SHe'd eat well for while.

She'd

She said with a light chuckle, as she an Aj began to make their way along the road back into Everfree.

Cmon Aj. Nows yer chance. Just sorta...feel her out a bit?

AJ (x2) Now's

Do you disprove? Or...do you prefer such company too?"

disapprove

Aj froze. Too? Was she sayin what Ah think she's sayin?

AJ

She said, shuffling a bit, embarassed by the admition...

embarrassed
admission
Loved it, truly brilliant, definitely enjoying this unusual pair.

"Her? Man, allus knew she were a tomboy, but never heard nuttin bout her bein a fillyfooler."

Yup, may favourite hang up again.:twilightsheepish:

Big Mac went and lost his temper.

Oh, this oughta be good!img.pandawhale.com/82872-this-is-gonna-be-good-gif-jaso-qrkC.gif

And now her thoughts were rambling, and had been for awhile, and what's zecora been sayin AH listen ya dunce!

Zecora
, AJ

"Six. Buckin. Resturants. Parasprites. Over booked. No chef. A fire. An explosion. Cutiemark Crusader Chefs. How in the hay can every restaurant get shut down on the same buckin day?"

Sounds just a little too chaotic for coincidence? (Why don't we have a discord emoji?)
i108.photobucket.com/albums/n13/narutouzumaki02/MLP%20Wiki%20Pictures/DiscordUMad.gif

"Thoughts its not quite what I expected for the date, this food,"
I must admit, it's really quite....delectably good."

Though

She considered for the moment the the stampede that had occurred in the middle of her third ever date...now that had been a bad one.

stut stut stutter?

She winked at the mare, who found herself unaccountably blushing as she hurried ate her way through her food.

hurriedly

Are you really ready to give up, and let this be the chosen end?"

', and let this be how it ends' would fit better with friends, but this is a suggestion. Not implying it's correct action to take, just thought I'd mention. (Oh Gawd, I'm rhyming!?!)

Before Applejack had a chance to take these words in, the zebra leaned forward, lightly pressing his lips against the farm ponies.

AY CARAMBA AGAIN! ...hers

Nyonda: Swahili for lover or sweetheart, I like the reference.

And there, very much in demand." SHe said grandly,

She

"Chapel. "

Remove space and Mac you sly bugger you!!:rainbowlaugh:
Definite fave! Sorry if my fault finding mission is annoying, but I'm bored, just lost my job last week of 27 years due to to health and looks like I'm going to be stuck on disability pension now for good. So gotta do something!

Grapple rhymes with apple just saying

Uhh is it less painful yet?

Login or register to comment