- Member Since 24th Nov, 2013
- offline last seen April 11th
Dark Vessel
Dark Vessel -- A name I use to remain anonymous
Dark Vessel
Joined 24th Nov, 2013 ·
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...I'll admit I skipped the first chapter, but maybe slow things down?
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Heh, didn't quite consider how abrupt a start that may be if the first chapter was skipped. Oops. Good other than that, I hope.
Alright, this looks promising. Tracking for now.
Great work keep it up
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Thank you :)
More please
I love it when a story gets really dark in this way.
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Thanks for the complements! Seriously, the comments mean a lot :) I do have a vague plan in mind, and there will be more dark concepts in time... Not all ponies in the Hive were captured...
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The story's set in the Expanded Clopverse universe. My own detailed AU... If you give the group a join, maybe there will be more to catch your interest later ;) *shameless self-promotion over*
Just a point (that i would normally scream if i did't like the story so much, and would have said in the first chapter)...
Place different speakers on different lines so the reader doesn't get confused by thinking a Twilight line, is still Chrysalis's
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Noted. Thanks :)
Well, you can’t write a story forever, and an ending is better than it just petering out of existence. Though I do think it would be fun to have some sort of epilogue chapter, either way off in the future, or maybe from Celestia’s point of view. You’re the author though, up to you.
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I do think i'll make an epilogue eventually, could be after a long delay though. Maybe when the desire arises for another clopfic, no rule against putting a link to it, so long as the chapter which I post is a substantial one ;)
I have a plan for a... Unique fic before i'll return to this one, however. I'll publish the first chapter of that before finishing this one, so I can direct people to it in the Author's note.
When I say unique, I mean unique. I have not seen a clopfic in this genre ever. As a hint, think of Fluttershy in Every Little Thing She Does.
I look forward to seeing what your next fic will be after listening to that song. I've been loving Chrysalis's favorite pet, one of my favourite clop fics so far that I have read. Thanks for the work you put into this.
As for ideas for this one I have a few. What if Celestia doesn't think Equestria has a chance of winning the war against the changelings but she see's how laser focused Chrysalis is on Twilight. So Celestia throws Twilight under the bus and signs a peace treaty recognizing her as Chrysalis's pet and a gift of "jewellery" for Twilight to seal the deal. Then maybe Chrysalis brings Twilight on an Equestrian tour.
General idea's: What happens when Twilight misbehaves and needs to be punished thoroughly. Interactions with other changeling slaves. Anal play, perhaps Twilight hasn't worshipped every inch of Chrysalis yet. Chrysalis captures some of Twilight's friends and/or family and has some games to play, perhaps some rule 63 magic involved. Some intense training in enjoying harsher treatment like whipping/spanking in sensitive areas, claps, weights, ice cubes/dildos, breath play. Life for Twilight in the distant future when she's finished being broken in and without shame. What Chrysalis does to keep Twilight feeling shame and humiliation.
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It was the episode in particular I was highlighting. I have a feeling the fic's either gonna squick or impress people, it's a very... love it or hate it concept. But i've never seen it even mentioned before outside of more private settings - could be an idea that's originated with me. It's gonna be a big genre change, but people may like it still, due to the similar theme of forced pleasure.
And... Thank you for the high praise ^^ I'm glad you like it.
Celestia throwing Twi under the bus... I can't see Celestia herself doing that, but perhaps her nightmare version would do so instantly... Very interesting idea! I like~ Could even tie in to other ideas you present... Alright, once i'm done with the other fic, I may well come back ;)
Okay why invade if they have that many to feed off of. And why Twilught and not Cadance. Tge princess of food
Chryssy, you just screwed yourself. Beware Solar Flare will he coming
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More food = More power = A happy Chrysalis.
The changelings have enough to survive, but Chrysalis wants conquest. She wants the universe itself to tremble at her hoof. She will not be satisfied until every creature alive serves as either her servant or her slave.
As for why Twilight: Twilight often leaves ponyville and is relatively unguarded. She's the easiest for Chrysalis to get at. Cadance would be good, but Twilight is easy, and gives her bragging rights over Celestia
Will there be more, or is this it?
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I have some plans, unsure how long until i'll end up publishing it though. The next chapter I have written up is at 1,700 words, for reference. The initial 'milestone' I was going for was 'Twilight's first night with Chrysalis' - that's been achieved in the chapters i've published, so I am a little aimless in where I would want the fic to go from here. An average day? Sure, that works, and could easily be the next day in the fic's continuity. A bit of a skip? Feasible, but it parts the reader from Twilight's perspective (or Chryssie's if they are that way inclined)...
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Could go for a bit more of an exploration of the changelings' society (from the perspective of Twilight witnessing it as she pleasures Chrysalis), which could be interesting, and probably the best move - though there's a fine line between a good display and a pointless lore dump.