- Member Since 24th Nov, 2013
- offline last seen April 11th
Dark Vessel
Dark Vessel -- A name I use to remain anonymous
Dark Vessel
Joined 24th Nov, 2013 ·
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Good concept, and I like the multiple endings, but the very brief chapters hardly give any time to appreciate the scenes before they're already over. Also, try to keep multiple people from speaking in the same paragraph; it can make the conversation harder to follow.
Still, good tension and nice use of a picture that needed a story to go with it. Overall, pretty good work.
10324534
Ah, good reminder. I keep making that mistake.
I made this over a number of days as a derpibooru fic first, which is why it may seem a little on the short side. Still, i'm glad you liked it ^^
I think ending 2 is the best one.
10327242
I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Yeah, a 'good' bad-end is always fun~
I would have probably tried to shown how they got captured but whatever.
I like both the 2nd and 3rd endings.
Good story.
10327268
Hope you make more like this
11385479
Been a while since i've written anything, the closest I have is Chrysalis's Favourite Pet... Though that's full-on ponies.