JerseyWest
Joined 22nd Apr, 2019 ·
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Good start on this.
Great work on this chapter.
10074411
Thank you :)
Just now getting notified anyone commented on this story ^^’
Dying to hear what you thought of the whole thing :)
Great work on this chapter.
Great work on this story. I enjoyed it.
Also
10088976
Thanks ^^’
10095199
You're welcome.
Beautiful story. Always enjoyed a touching romance
.
Any chance for an epilogue chapter or sequel
? 
!
A few ideas I've thought of include seeing these two having fluff moments during pregnancy. Chapter showing Dusk telling story to his child, now older, as to why they visit their mother and sibling once every few months, and finally show child seeing them appear from the ocean for the first time. Another where they visit and spend time together back and forth between ocean and land. So many possibilities
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
You can also check the current ranking, thanks to garatheauthor's unofficial ranking of the scores that have been publicized so far.
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Quite a lot of worldbuilding.
-
he would of discovered the caverns entrance in the first place-- would have.-
a role of his eyes-- roll.-
this cave pool, dose indeed, connect with the sea.-- does. Also, too many commas.-
Already hypnotized that-- hypothesized.-
**-- not centered-
Your welcome-- you're.-
orgasum-- orgasm.-So ... he was just going to eat a raw mussel? That doesn't sound very tasty.
-He doesn't know how long the transformation lasts -- he risks being stranded out there if it wears off.
-Why are there extinct animals in such plenitude?
-Does an okay job of setting up mysteries, but doesn't resolve them.
-In the non-clop section, things just happen without much sense of conflict or plot development.
-A very unique story, and interesting in a lot of ways. Unfortunately, a lot of the ways it's interesting are not sexy ways.
------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 70/100
Allure: 80/100
Enticement: 60/100
Immersion: 90/100
Prose Quality: 20/100
Total Score: 320/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!
10097034
Will see ^^’ focusing on other things and, while I appreciate the contest I entered this in honest review, didn’t do to boost my moral today :/
10254952
Okay, so a C+, j can live with that
question do you think it is possible for you to do more stories about the love life at nightfall?
how about a sequel where Sonata's sisters thinking an evil human kidnapped her goes to her rescue only to met and fall in love with Dusk Shine then for Sonata to arrive and ask what do they think of her boyfriend.
Love the story! Wish there were more merman/mermaid love stories on this site!