Part of the Equestria's Crazies Universe
After being defeated by the Elements of harmony Discord is given an offer he truly cannot refuse.
Or maybe he can I'm not really sure he's Discord.
{Oldness Warning} I haven't actually edited a single chapter (Other than format) Since Dec 21, 2011. There is no proper English only Zuul.
Story Cover I believe was done by Scallywag
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i thought it was good.
I thought the story was fine, you just need more practice and a bit more confidence and you'll do fine.
It sounds pretty fine for a first fan fiction, but I think there is one rule which you really need to follow, it's the famous "Show, don't tell."
What you content yourself of telling could have - in my opinion - made quite a nice introduction for the story. Celestia proposing to give Discord a second chance, him eventually agreeing, his attempt at bribing his guard etc all sound like they could have make quite interesting or funny scenes.
As for what you actually have written, there is some stuff which remains slightly strange, at least to me. Where IS Discord, in this chapter? Does he still have some of his powers? What prevents him from taking over the world? Luna is the Princess, why would she need any kind of sneaking in to be able to talk to Discord?
Apart from that, I haven't noticed any big grammatical mistake, and the story sounds interesting enough for me to want to read more.
Do I smell ragecomics in the cover picture?
It had me laughing. So far it's looking good.
It was okay, the premise seems promising and has potential.
But you should take more time with developing your story, it feels very very hasty to me.
Thanks for all the comments tonight I'll spend some time checking through it and fixing any mistakes
Also I have almost no memory as to how I started writing this or how I finished it.
70560
Thank you for the advice. It looks like this weekend I'll have some work to do :D
I don't have time to read it today but I will - the chapter title is awesome.
70639
If you want to wait, This weekend I plan to write a proper first chapter to this.
This is extreamly rushed though apparantly it's good :D
I wrote this at about 2 - 3 AM and I've decided to work with what I've created.
delightful
I'm afraid that one may ask, " TicTac, how does a tazer fit in the Ponyverse?"
What you need to say in reply is "A unicorn did it."
Nice story by the way.
71071
After remembering everything from last night (Including how I got a 10,000$ charge in Whiterun, 72 Platters by the way)
I had originally planned for the tazer to have a setting titled God Killer, no Idea what I planned for it to do.
Lol oh Discord you're gonna be in for it.
I think you should keep the test chapter as a prologue. It's hilarious
71518
How about this, I'll see if I can create a secondary story (Only the Random Tag and I'll work on the First in my spare time and I'll work on the more serious one as the main story)
Or! I was thinking about doing this in a progress sort of manner each chapter is a day in either Celestia, Luna or Discords life as with a side chapter. So for example I could re work "Don't taze me Lulu" into one of the future chapters in a larger format
Also my god this post got long and I fell into the Quarantine zone on Dead Island
TLDR
2) Stories
Main story -Discord's Mildly bad day's
Secondary -Don't taze me Lulu
So they let him remain free...And guessing by the first chapter Celestia maybe just but she ain't stupid. Well this will be interesting. ~Celestia's Paladin: For Honor and Duty, For the Sun and Moon
delightful
Aw Crap indeed.
More!
That bloody italic command, oh it was ruined many a good fanfic. Also, funny work. Though I am wondering why Discord would be so concerned about his subjects during his rule. Anyway, hope to see what happens next.
lol I am loving these shenanegins.
the answer to discord's question is yes, yes it does
74295
HAZZA IT HAS BEEN FIXED
74295
I am so saucy for all these replies but later on I intend to explain Discords relation with his subject with more depth.
interesting
Celestia's one weakness is "Spiderses". Wow.
74884
In all fairness I believe it's everybody's weakness.
'twas good. Better than good, great! No! Great does it no justice, it was Unbelievable! No! It was believably awesome! Gah! no, no, no, no! It's cool, cooler than cool! As cold as cold as cold can be! ICE COLD!
*insert lyrics to Wreckx'N Effect - Rump Shaker*
Is it me or I enjoy having Discord getting tazed for no reason what so ever....
Heres one for Discord.
Okay so a man is sitting in a waiting room in the hospital. His wife is having a baby and the doctor walks in. The man says"Hey Doc is everything alright?" The doctor says"Everything is fine your wife is recovering well and she delivered a healthy baby boy, you're one lucky guy". So the man leaps for joy and runs into the maturnity ward with his flowers, but when he goes into the right room his wife's bed is empty."Doc?" the man says. He turns around the doctor and all the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face."April Fools,"the doctor says"your wife is dead and your baby's a spastic".
mysite.verizon.net/sully1985/JokerLaugh.gif
well with me I'd personally want more discord, and I wouldn't really find it amusing to have him tazered
I guess one about his personal guards
76705
lulz
Very nice. Normal Discord. What happens next?
76732
I do plan for him to become more chaotic but not so much the insanity without a conscious he showed in the actual episode.
76705
I think that would get a laugh from the Upper class, I know I laughed.
very entertaining.
76925
Having a dark sense of humor can be a wonderful thing. It can turn frowns upside down when given the proper opportunity.
Very, very nice. I don't mind, as long as it ends well.
Btw, are you continuing this in another story, or in this one?
I want to see a Discord pranking spree!
77650
I plan to start the next portion of this series in a second story, I intend for it to be in an episode style format. Each chapter would revolve around a specific character(s)
For example
Chapter 1 might be Discord
Chapter 2 might be Celestia
Chapter 3 might be Celestia, Luna and Discord
Chapter 4 might be the guards or somebody else
The next story should have more comedy, also I'm open to any suggestions from you guys on what you want to see.
77660
Shall begin soon my friend.
I clicked the rating on my own story by mistake. :l How do I remove it :<
a nice chapter to begin the main story :)
friendshipping between Discord and the princesses, I'm oh Kay with it
I have an idea....Gala + Discord + Mane6 = Lulz
77889
Shall be done at some point
78153
I haven't figured out what her main tactics are going to be once I begin the next story, but I hope it can crank the trolling to 11.
random-outburst celestia is best pony
78435
When I imaged the scene the only sound I could hear was the Camel being tickled.