2023)

October 10, 2020

Sugarcube Corner

"Careful with that frosting, Sakura," Cup Cake said, sweating nervously. "This is for Princess Celestia, after all."

"Hai, Oba-san," Sakura replied, applying pink frosting to a sizable cake.

"You're doing great, Sakura," Carrot Cake said encouragingly. "If only Pinkie could… STOP!!!" he exclaimed as Pinkie attempted to sneak a bite out of one of the cakes.

"What??" Pinkie asked innocently. "I just wanted to taste test it!"

"How is it that Sakura acts more like an adult than you?" Carrot Cake sighed rhetorically.

Once she finished frosting the cake, Sakura quietly excused herself. There was no sense in risking an encounter with Celestia, so she had made plans with Rumble and his gang instead. However, there were other matters to attend to first.

Sweetie Belle's House

Although one might assume that Sweetie Belle lived with Rarity due to the frequency she stayed with her, in truth, she lived with her parents, Hondo Flanks and Cookie Crumbles.

"You planning on hanging out with your little friends today?" Hondo asked Sweetie Belle as he took a sip of an ashy black liquid his daughter had made.

Sweetie Belle's cooking was notoriously bad. That liquid her father was drinking was actually toast. How it wound up in liquid form, no one was really sure. She'd even managed to burn apple juice on occasion. Unsurprisingly, both her parents had lost their sense of taste entirely after a few years of eating their youngest daughter's cooking.

"I hear that Jack colt you've been playing with is pretty popular," Cookie Crumbles said. "Smart too. Better snatch him up before one of the other fillies gets to him."

"Mom!" Sweetie Belle squeaked. "It's not like that."

"You sure?" Cookie Crumbles asked with a playful grin.

"Yes, I'm sure!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, hopping up from the table. "I’m going to the clubhouse. Important Cutie Mark Crusader business. See you tonight.”

Fluttershy’s Cottage

Jack watched bemusedly as Fluttershy tended to an injured rat. This wasn’t your standard veterinarian practice. She had not only bandaged the tiny rodent’s leg but even went so far as to craft a tiny wheelchair for her patient.

“There you go, Mr. Mousey,” Fluttershy said, nudging the rat to a hole in the wall. “Now, you stay off that leg and do everything I told you. And it will be just like new in no time at all.”

Thanks in no small part to Fluttershy's efforts, Jack's nose had healed earlier than expected, and he no longer needed the splint. His black eye was barely noticeable thanks to an ointment Fluttershy had been applying.

“You really are something else, Flutters,” Jack said as he watched the rat roll its wheelchair into the hole.

“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.

“Well…”

Before Jack could finish his answer, Angel slammed into Fluttershy, franticly shaking a silver pocket watch.

“You... found a watch?” Fluttershy asked.

Angel shook his head and moved his forelimbs to mimic clock hands.

“You... wanna be a watch?” Fluttershy asked.

As Angel shook his head again, Jack glanced at the clock. It was almost 4:00. “Flutters, we’re late!” he shouted.

“Late?” Fluttershy asked, looking at the clock. “Oh my goodness! The big brunch for Princess Celestia at Sugarcube Corner.”

“We can still make it if we leave now!” Jack said as the trumpets sounded, signaling Celestia’s arrival.

As Jack and Fluttershy rushed outside, Angel locked the door to prevent Fluttershy from coming back and wasting more time.

“That door better be unlocked when we get back, or I’m going to skin you alive!” Jack shouted from outside.

Angel let out a snicker, knowing Jack’s threat to be empty.

Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse

It had been almost two weeks since the Crusaders had partially discovered Jack’s secret. They hadn’t had any difficulty keeping it, but Sweetie Belle was still insistent that Sakura had intentionally directed them toward the discovery, which was the topic of today’s meeting.

“Ah hereby call this meetin’ of the Cutie Mark Crusaders tuh order,” Apple Bloom said, smacking the podium with a wooden gavel. “As we all know, our fellow Crusader, Jack, who is not present at this meetin’ has been secretly trainin’ as part of the E.U.P. However, there are some concerns that our friend, Sakura Blossom, may know more about this than she initially led us to believe. Which is why she has been invited to this meetin’ as a guest.”

Nodding to Sakura, Apple Bloom backed away from the podium. As Sakura took to the stand, the Crusaders immediately began questioning her.

“When you convinced us to go after Jack, did ya know he was in the E.U.P.?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Hai,” Sakura answered, seeing no reason to hide this.

“How long have you known?” asked Scootaloo.

“Since before the Hydra attack,” Sakura answered. “I overheard Jack-sama talking with Captain Shining Armor.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Would you have believed me?” Sakura asked rhetorically.

Outside Sugarcube Corner

As Jack and Fluttershy rushed toward the bakery, they could see Rainbow Dash heading inside.

“Phew,” Fluttershy sighed as they reached the door. “Made it.”

Unfortunately, Celestia’s guards Were not keen on letting them inside and extended their wings to block them.

“Halt!” shouted the first guard.

“Who goes there?” asked the second.

“Private Jager, reporting for duty, sir,” Jack answered.

“And who’s she?” asked the first guard.

“It's all right, sirs,” Twilight said. She had been passing by the door from inside when she spotted them. “They’re on the list.”

“Thanks, Twilight,” Fluttershy said as she and Jack walked inside.

“I'm so glad you both could make it,” Twilight said. “It wouldn't be the same without you.”

“You’ve gone all out,” Jack complimented.

Indeed, Twilight had seen to it that no expense was spared. Sugarcube Corner had been fully booked, and the Cakes had been instructed to make all their best recipes, soufflés, chocolate fountains, the works. Spike had been recruited to bake with his fire breath, freeing Mister and Misses Cake to act as servers.

“Sorry we’re late,” Fluttershy apologized. “I had to finish taking care of a patient first.”

“Oh, you and your tender loving care of little animals,” Twilight said with a nervous twitch. “I just know Princess Celestia is gonna love that about you.” Sweating, she added, “I mean, I hope she will... I mean, of course she will!”

“Well, that is why she sent me to live with her, right Twi?” Jack pointed out.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” Twilight sighed. “I just want the princess to approve of my friends.”

“Approve of us?” Jack asked. “She’s met us multiple times. I think we’d all know if she disapproved.”

“It's just a casual get-together, right?” Fluttershy asked with a smile.

“Don't touch me!” Shouted Rarity, who, as usual, had dressed in the most flashy outfit she could think of. “Watch the dress! Careful, you're gonna spill that on me!” she whined as cupcake brought over a tray of Apple flavored cupcakes. “Oh, oh, that looks delicious. What is it? Oh, does it stain?! Keep it away from me!” she shouted, curling up defensively.

“Doesn’t look all that casual to me,” Jack muttered.

While Rarity was practically fighting the other guests to keep her dress clean, Applejack was hovering around the dessert table, eying her options with the indecision of a cat.

“It's okay, Twilight,” Fluttershy said comfortingly. “So, our friends' manners aren't perfect. I doubt the princess will even notice.”

As if on cue, Pinkie showed up, darting across the room like a hyperactive 9-year-old on 12 cans of Coke. Consuming every dessert she came across with the grace of a pig, she eventually found herself at Celestia’s table. Or rather on top of Celestia’s table.

“You gonna eat that?!” Pinkie asked the princess, snatching a cupcake from her telekinetic grasp and gulping it down in less than a second.

“God damn it, Pinks,” Jack thought to himself.

Cup Cake’s gasp could be heard from the other side of the room. Bolting into action, she grabbed Pinkie by the tail and dragged her as far from Celestia as possible.

“Hey!” Pinkie protested as Carrot Cake swiftly brought Celestia another cupcake.

“A thousand pardons, Your Majesty,” Carrot Cake apologized.

“That's quite all right, thank you,” Celestia said, taking a bite out of her cupcake and sipping her teacup dry.

The Cakes spent the next minute or so obsessively refilling Celestia’s cup. An act that seemingly disturbed her more than Pinkie.

“And how have you been doing, young Jack?” Celestia asked.

“I’ve been alright,” Jack said. “Those sessions in the Everfree have been doing wonders, and it helps that I don’t have to hide it from the Crusaders anymore.”

Celestia had been informed about the Crusader’s discovery, and while such a breach had been disturbing, she trusted Jack when he said the fillies could keep a secret. “And what of, ‘Emerald Jack,’ was it? Have you been able to regain contact?”

“No,” Jack answered. “I haven’t.”

“That’s too bad,” Celestia said. “I take it you’ve at least been having fewer problems with the jade entity?”

“Much less than before,” Jack nodded.

“That’s good,” Celestia said with a smile. “I must say, you’ve made excellent progress adapting to our world.” Turning to Fluttershy, she said, “seems I was right to leave young Jack here in your care, Fluttershy. I doubt anypony else could have done so well.”

“Oh, well, I don’t know about that,” Fluttershy replied, shyly pressing her forehooves together. “Honestly, I don’t think I did anything other than hinder his progress until I took a more hooves-off approach.”

“Well, there’s the understatement of the year,” Jack said, half-jokingly. “She acted like a freaking psychopath, trying to keep me safe.”

“I’m s-sorry,” Fluttershy murmured.

“I didn’t choose you because I thought you’d do a perfect job,” Celestia said. “Out of all your friends, you were the best equipped for the task. The fact that you were able to take a hooves-off approach shows that you were able to adapt to the task at hand.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, mother,” Jack said, patting Fluttershy’s head. “Dash probably would have killed me, Twi would have used me as a test subject, A.J. would have me working the farm all day, Rarity would have made me try on clothes all day, and Pinks would have driven me insane. If you keep dwelling on the mistakes of your past, it’ll tear you apart.” So quietly that no one else heard, Jack added, “Trust me, I know.”

“You have a kind and nurturing personality, Fluttershy,” Celestia said. “That’s why you share my love of animals.”

Before Fluttershy could respond, she was interrupted by a sickly cough. The sound was coming from a birdcage Celestia had brought with her.

“As Princess, I care deeply about all creatures, great and small,” Celestia continued.

With another cough and a hack, a sickly bird hopped onto the cage's perch. Its feathers were a faded pink, and many were falling off.

“Ah, Philomena, my pet,” Celestia said. “You're awake. Do say hello to our gracious hosts.”

Philomena let out another cough.

“Oh... my,” Fluttershy murmured.

“She is quite a sight, isn't she?” Celestia asked.

“Y-eah,” Jack reluctantly agreed.

“I... I... I've never seen anything like it,” Fluttershy said as Philomena coughed up a few feathers.

A guard walked over and whispered into Celestia’s ear.

“Really?” Celestia asked. “Well, if I must... I'm sorry, everypony. I'm afraid I have to cut the party short. The mayor has requested an audience with me,” sitting up from the table, she added. “Elections are scheduled two days before the Gala, and there is much to be done in the meantime.”

“Phew!” Applejack sighed once the princess was gone. “Now Ah can eat someth'n! Ah'm starved!” Unfortunately for her, the Cakes were already cleaning the remaining food up. “Oh...” she muttered in disappointment.

Pinkie followed a line of guests out the door doing cartwheels while Rarity aggressively fought her way to the door keeping her dress safe.

“What are you doing?” Jack asked as Fluttershy walked over to Philomena’s cage.

“Poor Philomena clearly needs some medicine,” Fluttershy said. “I’m just going to give her the T.L.C. desperately she needs.”

“What happens when Celestia comes back and finds her pet missing?” Jack asked.

“Look at her,” Fluttershy said.

Philomena hacked up another clump of feathers.

“You can’t expect me to just leave her like this.”

Sweet Apple Acres

When the meeting was over, Sweetie Belle told her friends she didn’t feel well. In reality, she just wanted to follow Sakura. If she could just find some kind of proof that the demon filly was up to no good, she could show it to her friends, maybe even to one of the adults.

As she approached the gate to the main road, she could see that Sakura had stopped. Most likely to wait for Rumble and the other colts who follow her around.

“I know you're there,” Sakura growled irritably.

Thinking she’d been spotted, Sweetie Belle was about to answer. However…

“No fooling you, Oni-Hime,” said a voice in a Norwegian accent.

“Oni-Hime?” Sweetie Belle wondered. “Who is she talking to? I can’t see anypony.”

“Show yourself, Løgner,” Sakura spat.

“Nå nå,” Løgner chided. “I turned invisible for en reason. A little filly talking to en strange stallion like me would draw attention.”

“Invisible?”

“I’m almost shi centuries older than you,” Sakura sighed. “And if anypony were here, they could still hear you.”

“Centuries?” Sweetie Belle thought. None of this made any sense to her. She had wanted to find answers, but instead, she found even stranger questions. It’s not like ponies didn’t live to be centuries old. Granny Smith was around when Ponyville was founded, but Granny Smith had the wrinkles to show for it. Sakura, or Oni-Hime, looked to be her age.

“Godt point,” Løgner shrugged, seemingly popping into existence. “Perhaps we should go somewhere more private.”

Fluttershy’s Cottage

“I still can’t believe you took the bird, Flutters,” Jack said as he opened the door.

“I had to do something,” said Fluttershy, carrying said bird on her back.

“Well, I guess there’s no taking it back now,” Jack sighed, walking into the living room.

“Oh, you poor little thing,” Fluttershy said to the bird as she walked in. How did you ever get in such bad condition?” she asked, placing it on the coach. “Don't you worry, Philomena. I'll nurse you back to health. As a favor to the princess, who's obviously just far too busy to care for you properly.”

Philomena coughed out another feather and leaned over onto the cushion.

“I'm sure the princess will appreciate the help,” Fluttershy said, pushing her upright.

Philomena responded with a hiccup before slouching over again.

“Oh my,” Fluttershy said, picking the bird up in her forelegs. “We'd better get you to bed right away.”

Fluttershy tucked Philomena into a small crib and placed a thermometer in her beak. As if on cue, her feathers glowed bright red, and the mercury rose to the top of the thermometer. Fluttershy removed the sheets as quickly as she could and placed an ice pack over her head. The mercury retracted to the bottom, Philomena’s feathers returned to normal, and she began shivering like she’d been pulled from a frozen pond.

“She’s fucking with us!” Jack accused as Philomena froze over.

“That’s not nice, Jack,” Fluttershy said as she placed the blanket over the bird again to the exact same result. This process repeated several times before the thermometer finally burst into a splatter of mercury.

“This is far worse than I thought,” Fluttershy gasped. “What you need is some medicine. Stat!”

“She’s faking,” Jack scoffed.

Philomena let out another cough.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Jack,” Fluttershy said as she went to her medicine cabinet. “I just need to find the right pill.”

Jack looked back to Philomena to see her blowing him a raspberry, “This is gonna be my whole day, isn’t it?” he sighed.

He was right, of course. Philomena showed no interest in Fluttershy’s horse pill. Even after covering it in birdseed, she simply ate around it, similar to a dog with a hotdog-covered heartworm pill. Fluttershy then tried warm soup, which the bird ignored. She even tried coaxing her into singing, which only led to a stream of vomit all over both her and Jack. Fluttershy tried a dehumidifier, aromatherapy, a warm bath, and no result other than the loss of feathers. It wasn’t until she tried ointment that she found results. Unfortunately, those results were not what she wanted as, seemingly on command, Philomena broke out with pimples immediately after.

By this point, Fluttershy was trying more extreme measures. She and Angel had garbed themselves in antique (by Earth standards at least) surgeon’s caps. The ones with the reflective circles.

“Scalpel,” Fluttershy requested. As Angel passed the scalpel, she then asked for surgical tape and feathers.

To Jack’s surprise, Fluttershy had planned to simply tape the missing feathers back on.

“What did you even need the scalpel for, to begin with?” Jack asked.

“I don’t even know anymore,” Fluttershy admitted with a sigh as Philomena let out another cough. “Oh, Philomena. I thought it would be easy to nurse you back to health. I've tried everything I know. And look at you. You're worse than ever.”

Before Fluttershy could decide what to do next, there was a knock on the door. Rushing to answer, Jack found Twilight had come for a visit.

“Hi, Jack. Hi, Fluttershy!” Twilight greeted, letting herself in. “I just wanted to drop by and say thank you so very much for making such a good impression on the princess today...” locking eyes on Philomena, she gasped, “What is Celestia's pet doing here?!”

“I couldn't leave the poor thing there,” Fluttershy explained. “She needed my help.”

“Oh no,” Twilight said, facepalming in exasperation. “Nonononononono! This is bad.”

“How could I just walk away and not do anything?” Fluttershy asked.

“But... but... she doesn't belong to you!” Twilight exclaimed.

“That’s what I said,” Jack interjected as Philomena let out another cough.

“I know you had good intentions, but you have got to return the princess's pet!” Twilight exclaimed.

Philomena rolled off the table, pulling herself to her feet and taking a raspy breath.

“Ah’m like ninety percent certain this damn bird is fakin’ it,” Jack growled as Philomena let out another cough.

Shoving Philomena into a basket, Twilight ran to the door. “If we hurry, we can put her back before anypony even realizes she's missing.”

Twilight gasped at the sight of two guards waiting for her when she opened the door.

“We were told we could find Twilight Sparkle here,” the first guard announced.

“We regret to inform you, miss, that the royal pet has gone missing,” explained the second.

“Really? You don't say!” Twilight said, laughing nervously.

As if to spite them, Philomena chose that point to start coughing again. Thinking quickly, Twilight began faking her own cough, and Fluttershy joined soon after.

“It's that dry night air?” Twilight wheezed.

“It’s daytime, Twi,” Jack pointed out.

“Well... day air's even drier,” Twilight said, sweating profusely. “You guards better be on your way if you're gonna find the princess's missing pet. Philomena, was it?” she asked, pushing the guards out the door. “Thank you ever so much for keeping me in the loop. Bye!” she said as she shut the door behind her. Panting, she watched as the guards left. “Phew... What are you doing?!”

Fluttershy explained that she was bringing Philomena back to Celestia. Twilight blocked her exit, claiming that there was no way Fluttershy could return the bird now that Celestia knew she was missing. When asked why Twilight claimed Fluttershy would be punished. Banished or locked in a dungeon, perhaps both.

“That seems highly unlikely,” Jack said. “Flutters is the bearer of the Element of Kindness, right?”

“Yeah?” Twilight answered.

“Well, unless the Elements of Harmony can be used by anyone, I doubt Celestia would banish or imprison one of the bearers,” Jack reasoned.

“I’m sure if we can just get Philomena healthy, everything will be fine,” Fluttershy said.

Reluctantly Twilight agreed. Taking a more forceful approach, she forced the medicine from before down Philomena’s throat, forced her into a cone of shame to prevent further feather loss, and shut her in a cage with a tarp to encourage sleep.

While this seemed to do better than Fluttershy’s T.L.C., everything went south when Twilight tried forcing Fluttershy’s soup onto Philomena, who took off running as soon as Twilight opened the birdcage. Twilight, Jack, and Fluttershy gave chase, but Philomena had already made it out the door. What followed was nothing short of a Scooby Doo-type chase scene.

Abandoned Shack South of Ponyville

Sweetie Belle followed Løgner and Sakura for a few miles before they arrived at an old shack. Seeing the other two walk inside, Sweetie Belle looked around for a good place to listen in. Spotting an external latter leading to a loft, she scurried up.

The loft was well-lit, thanks to a large hole in the roof. The floor was adorned with rusty saws, other logging equipment, and a blanket of dust. In the far-right corner was a small hole in the floor where Sweetie could hear Sakura and Løgner talking. Sweetie Belle tiptoed over as silently as she could to listen to what was being said.

“Mine pawns are in place,” said Løgner. “Phase to vil begin at the gala.”

“What about Celestia, the E.U.P., and the Elements of Hāmonī?” asked Sakura. “I think this mission would be better served if all Roku of us attacked at once.”

“I have all those bases covered,” Løgner said. “All you need to worry about is capturing the human.”

“Jack!” Sweetie Belle gasped, jumping back into the handle of an ax that had been leaned against the wall.

The ax fell to the floor, impacting with a booming crash.

“Seems vi have en eavesdropper,” Løgner hissed.

Sweetie Belle’s heart skipped a beat. They knew she was there, and there was no telling what they might do. Her brain could barely process what she had overheard. All neurons were devoted to one thought and one thought alone. “Run!”

One Block West of the Town Square

After thirty minutes of chase, they had lost track of Philomena. With no leads, they chose to stop by a nearby fountain to make a plan.

Rainbow Dash had been flying nearby and swooped down to see what was up. “What are you two doing?” she asked. “Are you having a race? Oh, can I play? One, two, three, go!” she shouted, zooming off.

Rainbow Dash wasn’t the only one of their friends in the area. The rest of the Mane Six were gathered around the fountain.

“Excuse me!” Fluttershy said, crawling under Pinkie Pie.

“Hi!” Pinkie exclaimed casually, standing on Fluttershy’s back as if nothing had happened.

“Beg your pardon!” Twilight exclaimed, lifting Rarity into the air.

“Put me down!” Rarity demanded.

“What in tarnation?!” Applejack asked.

“Sorry, but we've gotta find...” Fluttershy began.

“The princess's pet bird!” a guard shouted.

Atop the fountain, still coughing, was Philomena.

“Philomena, come down from there! You'll hurt yourself!” Fluttershy exclaimed.

As her final tail feather fell off, Philomena burst out in a fit of coughing twitching before collapsing over the fountain like a corps.

“I know you’re fakin’ damnit!” Jack shouted.

In one final attempt at trolling, Philomena stood up and repeated her death performance, only this time she fell over the side of the fountain. Fluttershy attempted to catch her, but it was all in vain. In a fiery inferno, all that was left for Fluttershy to catch were ashes.

The crowd gasped, but Jack slapped himself in realization.

“So, Philomena’s a…” he began.

“Phoenix,” Celestia finished. “What is going on here? Twilight?”

Twilight and Fluttershy explained what had happened, and each attempted to take the blame. Celestia only smiled and said, “oh, stop fooling around, Philomena. You're scaring everypony.”

From the ashes rose brilliant raptor of Scarlett and gold. Philomena’s true form.

Celestia explained the rejuvenating abilities of the phoenix and that she would never have banished Fluttershy.

Seeing that all was well, Jack decided to ask Fluttershy a question. “Hey, mother?”

“Y-yes?” Fluttershy asked.

“Remember when we got my medicine from my car?” Jack asked. “We found my turtles swimming in their own filth, and you assumed I had been abusing them?”

“Yes,” Fluttershy admitted.

“Well, I think there’s a similar lesson to be learned here,” Jack chuckled.

“I know,” Fluttershy sighed. “I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Next time I'll ask before taking matters into my own hooves.”

“Should I write you a letter about that lesson, Princess?” asked Twilight.

“No, that's quite all right,” Celestia answered. “I think I can remember.”

Sweetie Belle’s House

Sweetie Belle had been running for more than half an hour. The sun was slowly sinking beneath the horizon. She didn’t know if she’d been spotted, but she was relieved to see the safety of her house.

Rushing inside, she slammed the door and locked it behind her. Heart racing a million beats a minute, she bolted right past her confused parents and into her room. “Sakura’s trying to kidnap Jack! She and that other pony are going to do something terrible at the Gala! I… I have to tell somepony.”

Author's Note:

Holy shit, that took a long time! It couldn't be helped, though. I spilled water on my laptop at the beginning of the month and had to send it in for repairs. Then I had to drive all the way to Charleston to get the control stick on my 3DS fixed because nowhere in Myrtle Beach would fix it, and Nintendo no longer offers repair services for anything other than the Switch.
This is another chapter that will be getting heavily edited in the future, but there are some parts I'm fully satisfied with.
Next Time: As Jack helps Cherry Berry with a voter registration drive, Sweetie Belle struggles to convince Rarity of what she'd overheard from Sakura and Løgner.

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