2022)

July 10, 2020

Edge of the Everfree Forest

It had been three days since the poison joke incident and Zecora's ominous warning weighed heavily on Jack's mind. To make matters worse, he was missing his Asperger's meds, and Princess Celestia was scheduled to visit tomorrow. At present, he and Fluttershy were gathering flowers for the Princess's arrival.

“Who was she talking about? Should I take her advice and leave?” he wondered.

“Are you alright, Jack?” asked Fluttershy as she picked a flower from a bush.

“I’m fine!” Jack said defensively.

“Are you sure?” Fluttershy asked in concern. “You’ve been acting off since yesterday.”

"It's nothing," Jack said. "I could ask them to check the Lowcountry for my prescriptions. I'm sure if they look through a few pharmacies, they'll find the right ones… No, it'll take too long to get there and back. Celestia will be here tomorrow. I should have taken care of this earlier."

"If you're sure," said Fluttershy as a squirrel holding a dandelion tapped her leg. "Oh, thank you, little squirrel, but these flowers are meant for the Princess. Only the prettiest will do.”

A calm breeze blew the seeds from the dandelion, and the squirrel rushed off.

"I think we have enough flowers, Jack," Said Fluttershy as she picked up her basket. "We should go ahead and bring them back to town."

"Uh, yeah, sure," Jack said, awkwardly avoiding eye contact.

The pain he felt from looking people in the eye had come back soon after his last dosage of medication wore off.

As the two of them walked toward a bucket of apples they had brought to share with the local wildlife, Fluttershy was startled by a chirping noise and jumped behind the bucket for cover.

Looking around, Jack discovered the source of the noise to be a small insect. "It's just a bug, you cry… er, I mean it’s just a fly, Flutters," he facepalmed. His poor attitude had come back too. "That was close!”

The shy pegasus peaked out from behind the apple bucket and noticed the bug. “Oh my goodness!” she said, moving to get a better look. “Hello, Little guy. I’ve never seen anything like you before.”

The bug responded by flying over to an apple and giving a small chirp.

“Oh, are you hungry?” Fluttershy asked before crushing the apple. “Here you go.”

The insect showed no interest in the crushed apple and instead began to devour the apples in the bucket rapidly.

“What the fuck? It shouldn’t even be able to eat one apple. How is it…” Jack thought as the fly finished. “Dear God, I can’t take anymore weird right now.”

“I guess you were hungry," Fluttershy said as the fly settled in her mane.

“Oh, come on! You can’t be serious!” Jack yelled.

“What are you talking about?” asked Fluttershy in concern.

"That thing just swallowed like ten times its body mass in only a few seconds, and yer just lettin' it rest in yer hair?!" Jack asked.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“How do ya know it ain’t gonna eat you next?”

"Don't be silly, Jack," Fluttershy said as the fly rubbed against her face. "Does this look like the face of a pony eater?" she asked as it stared at him with puppy dog eyes.

"No," Jack relented.

"Good, then let's go show this adorable little thing to our friends," Fluttershy said as she walked toward the town.

"Alright," Jack sighed.

Outside Sugarcube Corner

“Do we really need to show it to Pinkie first?” Jack groaned.

“What’s wrong with that?” asked Fluttershy.

"N-nothing," Jack replied. "I really can’t deal with Pinkie Pie right now.”

"Good, and Twilight should be here too," Fluttershy said as they entered Sugar Cube Corner. “Twilight, Pinkie, you won't believe...” Fluttershy began before noticing that her two friends seemed to be in the middle of an argument. “Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, am I interrupting?”

“No, not at all. Come on in and make yourself at home," Pinkie said. She then rolled out her tongue and dragged a cake from the counter into her throat, like a chameleon catching a fly.

“Well, that's the last thing I expected to see today, or ever," Jack shuddered. “I knew I should have stayed home today.”

“What’s up, you guys?” asked Pinkie.

“You won't believe what we found at the edge of the Everfree Forest," Fluttershy said, glancing at her mane. "Come on out, little guy. It's okay.”

To both Fluttershy and Jack's surprise, not one, not two, but three little bugs flew out.

“Three?” they questioned at the same time.

"What are they, Gremlins?" Jack nervously joked to himself.

“They're amazing," said Twilight as she walked over. “What are they?”

“I'm not sure," Fluttershy answered. “I'm also not sure where these other two came from.”

“I'll take one off your hooves. I've never seen anything so... adorable," Twilight offered as she cuddled the insect. “Besides, it'll be nice to have a companion for Spike, so he won't bother me so much while I'm studying.”

Jack's jaw hit the floor. “Ya wanna keep 'em!?” he asked. “We have no idea what the fuck these things are!”

"They're parasprites," said Pinkie.

“Para-what-now?” Jack asked.

"No time to explain," Pinkie said as she walked out the door. "I need to find a trombone now!"

"Well, that was random," Jack noted once Pinkie was gone.

"That's Pinkie for you," Twilight sighed. "I should get going. There's still a ton of planning to do."

"Good luck, Twilight," Fluttershy called as the unicorn left. "I think we should get these little guys back to the cottage now," she told Jack, snuggling the two remaining parasprites in her mane.

Ponyville Town Square

On his way home with Fluttershy, Jack noticed Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon gathered around Town Hall.

"Check out my new cutie mark, blank-flanks!" Silver Spoon boasted, proudly displaying the fancy spoon icon on her flank.

"Oh, look, Jack, it's your friends," Fluttershy pointed out. "Why don't you go play with them?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea right now, mother," Jack said, nervously fidgeting.

"You've been avoiding your friends for two days now," Fluttershy pointed out. "I'm starting to get worried. Please do it for me," Fluttershy said with puppy dog eyes.

"Ugh, fine," Jack sighed. "This isn’t going to go well.”

"Wonderful, enjoy your playdate," Fluttershy said as she continued to the cottage.

"Yeah, sure," Jack said as he looked over to the fillies.

“Diamond Tiara doesn’t have hers yet either," Scootaloo pointed out. "Why don’t you go pick on her?”

“This coming from the pegasus who can’t even fly yet," Diamond Tiara sneered.

“So what?” asked Sweetie Belle.

"So, I'd say a pegasus that can't fly is about as useless as a unicorn that can't use magic," Diamond Tiara answered.

“I…” Sweetie Belle started, unable to muster a retort.

"That's what I thought," Diamond Tiara said in satisfaction.

“HEY!” Jack shouted, running toward the fillies.

"Oh great, it's the ape," said Silver Spoon.

“What’s going on here?” Jack asked once he reached his classmates.

"We're just putting these blank-flanks in their place," Silver Spoon responded.

“Blank-flanks?” Jack questioned as he noticed her new cutie mark. “Oh, you got your butt tattoo, congratulations!”

"Butt tattoo? It's called a cutie mark, you disgusting ape!" Diamond Tiara snapped.

“Tomato, Tomato, who cares," Jack said playfully. “Hopefully, since I'm not stressed out right now, I won't have another meltdown.”

"I guess a dumb ape like you wouldn't understand the importance of having a cutie mark," Diamond Tiara responded.

"Fair enough, but it doesn't look like you have one either," Jack pointed out.

Diamond Tiara wasn’t happy with being talked down to, but she didn’t really have a comeback either. “Whatever, let’s get out of here, Silver Spoon.”

“Good idea, we should like get ready for my cute-ceañera,” Silver Spoon agreed as they left.

"Thank you, Jack," Sweetie Belle said, bowing her head.

“Yeah, you really showed them!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

"Don't mention it, you guys," Jack said. "Maybe I can act normally even without the meds.”

“Me and Sweetie Belle were going to hang out at my house," Scootaloo explained. "Miss Cheerilee is taking care of me tonight and said we could have a sleepover!"

“I thought she lived with her aunts. Is Cheerilee like her sister or something?” Jack wondered. “Are you related to Miss Cheerilee or something?”

"No, she just takes care of me sometimes when my aunts can't," Scootaloo responded.

Scootaloo explained that her parents were adventurers and were never home. Her aunts took care of her when they could, but most of the time, the adults in Ponyville took turns taking care of her.

Jack tried to pay attention, but he found himself zoning out after the first few words, "That's nice," he said when she was done talking.

“What do you mean nice!!?” Scootaloo snapped. “I just said that my parents never have any time to take care of me.”

“Shit!" Jack thought. "I… well, I mean, uh, look at it from my perspective. My parents are dead. At least you still get to see yours sometimes."

"I guess that makes sense," Scootaloo said.

Scootaloo’s House

They arrived at Scootaloo's house five minutes later. The house was pretty much the same as most houses in Ponyville's residential districts. Two stories and made almost entirely of brightly colored wood, except for the roof, which was made of thatched straw. The thatching was done for insulation, most likely as there was no shortage of timber to construct something more sturdy.

“Welcome home, Scootaloo," Cheerilee said as they walked inside. "I see you've brought Jack with you as well. Will he be staying over?"

“Can he?” asked Scootaloo, with a wide grin.

"If Fluttershy says it's fine, then sure," Cheerilee responded.

"I didn't really get the chance to ask her," Jack admitted hoping to avoid any chance of spending the night without meds.

"I see," Cheerilee responded. "Oh well, you can at least stay for dinner. The three of you can hang out in the living room until it's ready."

"If you don't mind me asking, what were your family like?" Scootaloo asked as they got settled on a short couch.

"I can do better than that. I'll show them to you," Jack said, fishing his phone out of his pocket.

"But I thought they were… you know," said Sweetie Belle.

"They are," said Jack, pulling up a photo of him and his family. "The blond lady to the left is my mother, the large man to the right is my father, and my brother is the skinny guy beside my dad."

"Oh, wow, your mom is so pretty!" Sweetie Belle complimented.

"Who's the long-maned guy beside your mom?" asked Scootaloo.

"That's me… Err, my cousin," Jack said.

"He looks like he hasn't taken a bath in weeks," Sweetie Belle said.

"Hey, give him a break. He had just gotten home from work when this was taken," Jack said.

"My family would never let me get my picture taken like that," Sweetie Belle said. "In fact…"

"Yeah, that's nice," Jack interrupted. "But my cousin worked outside all day, so I really don't think there is any need to criticize him for his hygiene."

From that point forward, the conversation turned to nothing more than a monologue from Jack in which the two fillies could not manage to get more than a few sentences without being interrupted. After about ten minutes into the conversation, Cheerilee informed them that dinner was ready.

While the others dug into their meal, Jack was somewhat reluctant. Something Cheerilee was quick to pick up on. “You haven’t touched your salad, Jack. Is something wrong?”

"Humans don't really eat grass," he admitted.

"I'm so sorry. I'll find something else for you right away," Cheerilee said as she got up.

"Thanks," Jack said. "Wait a minute. I can't just let her make a whole new meal for me! I shouldn't have even come here, to begin with.”

“So, we have…” Cheerilee began.

“Wait, Miss Cheerilee?” Jack asked.

"Yes, Jack?”

“Can I talk to you… privately?”

“Sure," Cheerilee said, twitching her head toward the hallway.

Jack followed her into the hall.

“What do you need to talk about?” Cheerilee asked.

“Well… You remember that outburst I had on my first day?”

"I do," Cheerilee acknowledged. "You said it was because of a condition, and you had run out of meds, right?"

"Yeah, here's the thing," Jack started, rubbing his head awkwardly. "I kinda ran out of my meds again."

“Why don’t you tell Fluttershy?” asked Cheerilee.

"I'll do it tomorrow, but I realize that I've probably been a bit rude since I got here so, you don't need to make me any more food. I'll just go home now," Jack explained.

"I understand," Cheerilee explained. "Do you need me to take you home?"

"No, I'll be fine," Jack dismissed. "Thanks anyway."

Outside Fluttershy’s Cottage

5 minutes later

“I’ll tell Fluttershy tomorrow," thought Jack. "I've been lucky, so far, I've just been a little awkward." He let out a sigh, "Look on the bright side, Jack. How stressful can things get between now and tomorrow morning?"

"Hey, Flutters. How are you…" Jack said as he opened the door. "What the fuck?"

The two parasprites Fluttershy had brought home with her had increased in number to eighteen.

“Where did all these things come from!?” Jack asked Fluttershy, who was sorting through her animal food.

"I'm not really sure," Fluttershy admitted.

"Well, you had better figure it out! They're multiplying like fucking guppies!” Jack exclaimed.

"I know, but it's not like they're hurting anything," Fluttershy said.

Jack put his left hand over his face and sighed. "Whatever, I'm going to bed."

July 11, 2020

Jack’s Room

It was almost noon when Jack woke up. He quickly slipped on his clothes and headed for the door. To his surprise, upon opening it, his room was flooded by a tsunami of little bugs.

"Well, this is just typical now, ain't it?" he said to himself.

He headed to the pantry for a late breakfast. Empty. The cabinets, fridge, and freezer, all fully stocked the night before, were picked clean.

There was no sign of Fluttershy other than an empty plate and glass on the kitchen table just barely visible through the swarm of insects. Upon further investigation, Jack found a note next to the plate.

Dear Jack

When I woke up this morning, I found that the parasprites had multiplied to the point they were swarming the cottage. Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash are all having the same problem. As much as it pains me to do it, we all agreed to release them all back into the Everfree forest, but I did decide to keep one. I’ve left some eggs for you on the table.

See you when I get back.

Fluttershy.

By the time Jack finished reading, the hand he held the note in was shaking violently. “FUCKIN' BULLSHIT!” he shouted, slamming his hand onto the table.

Outside

Having disposed of their parasprites in the Everfree Forest, Twilight and friends were on their way back to Fluttershy's Cottage. With the infestation over, they could now focus on preparations for Celestia's arrival.

“Okay, everyone knows what to do, right?” asked Twilight as they arrived. “We gotta work extra hard to make up for lost time.”

Fluttershy opened the door, and the group was pelted by a swarm of insects from inside. When the wave subsided, a fuming Jack walked out.

“Where did they come from?” Twilight asked.

“AH’LL TELL YA EXACTLY WHERE THEY CAME FROM!” Jack shouted, pointing accusingly at Fluttershy. “THIS GENIOUS DECIDED TUH KEEP ONE!”

"I couldn't help m-myself," Fluttershy defended. "They were just so cute."

“YOU KNEW THAT THE ONES YA JUST GOT RID OF ALL CAME FROM THE SAME BUG, AND YOU STILL KEPT ONE!”

“I-I just…” Fluttershy stuttered.

“Come on, Jack! Sure, Fluttershy messed up, but don’t you think you're being a little harsh on her?” asked Rainbow Dash.

"Whatever," Jack sighed.

“We don't have time to keep rounding up these things," Twilight said as the parasprites swarmed around them. “What do we do now?”

“We call in the weather patrol!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, putting on a pair of goggles and taking off. Surveying the chaos, she quipped, “time to take out the adorable trash!" With that, she dove. “YAAAAAA!”

As Dash rapidly flew in a circle until a tornado formed, sucking the insects inside.

“Way to go, Rainbow Dash!” Twilight said as the last bug got sucked into the twister.

“Looks like our problems are solved," Applejack agreed.

Unfortunately, things are seldom so easy. At that moment, Pinkie Pie came by with some cymbals that were sucked into the tornado, throwing Rainbow Dash off balance. The blue pegasus crashed, and her twister broke apart, releasing the swarm into Ponyville.

“Pinkie Pie, what have you done?” Twilight asked with a glare.

“I've lost a brand-new pair of cymbals; that's what I've done," Pinkie lamented.

“Will you forget about your silly instruments for one second?” Twilight asked. “You're ruining our efforts to save Ponyville.”

“Me? Ruin?” Pinkie asked indignantly. “I'm not the ruiner. I'm the ruin-ee! Or is it ruiness? Ruinette?”

“Come on, girls, there's no reasoning with that one. She's a few apples short of a bushel," Applejack said as she and the other ponies departed for town.

“Hey! I'm trying to tell you all that the ruining is on the other hoof. If you'd just slow down and listen to me!” Pinkie called after them.

"Alright, Pinks. What are you trying to say?" Jack asked after the other ponies had left.

“You’ll really listen?” asked Pinkie.

“Just spit it out already!” Jack snapped.

"Okey-doke, Loki!" Pinkie giggled. "The only way to stop parasprites is with music. I've been trying to gather instruments to lead them out of town."

"That sounds like a load of shit to me," Jack said.

"I'm serious!" Pinkie argued. "You have a recorder, right? It would be so much help if you could lend it to me."

“Bull…” Jack stopped himself. “Wait, the musical instrument idea is stupid, but I think I do have something that could help.”

“Jackey?” Pinkie questioned.

"Alright, Pinks. Let's go get my recorder," Jack said.

Jack’s Room

4 minutes later

Jack dug through his junk drawer, looking through the items Twilight had returned to him. "Cross neckless from confirmation? Nope! Wallet? Nope! Passport? Nope! Keys? Nope! Lighter and bug spray? There we go!"

Jack grabbed the items and started to close the drawer.

“Where’s the recorder?” asked Pinkie.

"Oh yeah," Jack pulled out a green plastic recorder with multicolored strings tied around the foot. "Here you go!"

“Thanks, Jackeygottagobye!”

“Clean the damn thing before you bring it back!” Jack called after her before looking at his redneck flamethrower. “Well, this is smart."

Ponyville Residential District

15 minutes later

Due to a botched attempt by Twilight Sparkle at curbing the swarm's hunger, the bugs had switched from eating the town's food to eating the town itself. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were on their way to the market when it began and ducked into an alley for safety. Unfortunately for them, the buildings around them were rapidly consumed.

“Hurry up, Sweetie Belle!” shouted Scootaloo. “We need to get to my scooter.”

The two made a break for the scooter but were beaten to the punch by one of the bugs.

“Get the hay away from my scooter!” Scootaloo shouted.

The bug paid her no mind and was about to devour the small vehicle when a stream of fire shot it down.

“Take that, you flying trash compactor!” Jack shouted.

“Jack!” the fillies shouted.

"You girls alright?" he asked.

Scootaloo waved dismissively. “Psht, of course, I had everything under control."

“How did you find us?” asked Sweetie Belle.

"I heard Scootaloo yelling," he answered. "I'm on my way to the town square. Don’t suppose I could get a lift?”

“Sure thing!” Scootaloo said as she hopped onto the scooter. “Grab on!”

“You got it, Scoots!” Jack said as he and Sweetie Belle got behind her.

Scootaloo's wings beat like a hummingbird's, propelling the scooter forward as Sweetie Belle held onto her, and Jack shot down any parasprites who dared to come near them. They arrived in the town square to find the place in chaos. Rainbow Dash struggled to fend off a swarm as she flew between buildings. Rarity franticly tried to wrestle a dress away from another swarm, only to break into tears when the swarm eventually won. Fluttershy desperately tried to reason with them, and Applejack tried sicking her dog, Wynona, on them.

Jack hopped off the scooter and went to work with his flamethrower. However, there was a flaw in his plan.

"Ah, need a little help over here!" Applejack said as she was pushed back by a swarm attempting to get at a lamppost.

“On it!” Jack said as he aimed his can at them. He pressed the cap down to no result. “What the?”

Pressing it a few more times, he realized he had run out of bug spray.

“What’s wrong?” asked Applejack.

“I’m out!”

"Well, what are we s'posed tuh do now?"

"To Hell, if I know," Jack shrugged.

As the chaos continued, Twilight returned to town, having consulted Zecira on the parasprites. "Okay, here's the plan. Rainbow Dash, you distract them.”

Rainbow Dash flew past, trying to evade a swarm. "YAAA!"

“Good. Everyone else, we need to build an exact copy of Ponyville right over there. We've got less than a minute!” Twilight exclaimed maniacally. “Zecora was right. We're doomed.”

The chaos was interrupted by the sound of parade music in the distance.

“Oh no, the Princess's procession is here. It's all over!” Twilight exclaimed.

"What… the fuuuck?” Jack questioned when he saw the origin of the music.

Pinkie Pie marched down the street, playing a massive conglomeration of instruments she had collected from town.

“Pinks! What the Hell is this!!?” Jack shouted. “Now is not the time for your weirdness!”

Much to Jack's surprise, the music seemed to calm the bugs, who stopped their swarming and began to bob up and down in time with the song. “She was telling the truth?!” he exclaimed as the parasprites fell in line and followed the pink pony out of town.

As Jack and the ponies followed their friend in shock, Twilight noticed the Princesses chariot landing nearby. "Look!" she said as she pointed toward the landing site.

Everyone except for Pinkie made their way to welcome the Princess. The ponies bowed as Jack stared at the Princess with indifference.

“Twilight Sparkle, my prized pupil," Celestia greeted.

“Hello, Princess," Twilight said as she sat up.

“So lovely to see you again, as well as your friends," Celestia said.

There was a crash of cymbals, and the other ponies cringed as Pinkie marched by with the parasprites.

“So... how was the trip? Hit much traffic?” Twilight asked awkwardly.

“Ah, what is this?” Celestia asked as a parasprite landed on her wing. “Oh ho ho, these creatures are adorable.”

Celestia continued to converse with Twilight while Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle questioned Jack as to why he had been acting so weird.

"You seem… different lately," said Scootaloo.

"No offense, but you were kind of rude yesterday," Sweetie Belle added.

Jack sighed. "Well, you see… I kinda…Well…" Jack started. "I'm off my meds. I have been since Thursday.”

“Why don’t you just ask Fluttershy to get more?” asked Sweetie Belle.

"I don't think they have my particular prescription in Equestria," Jack explained. "She'd probably have to search through the Lowcountry to find the right ones."

“Perhaps I can be of assistance?” Celestia said, having overheard the conversation.

“And how do you plan on doing that?” Jack asked before mockingly bowing and adding. “You’re highness.”

"I could send a few soldiers in to find the right meds," Celestia said. "All I'd need to know is what you need and where to look."

“You’d do that for me?” Jack asked.

"Of course, it's the least I could do for somepony who's worked so hard to protect my little ponies," Celestia replied.

"In that case, any building with a sign saying Walgreens, CVS, or Publix could have them," Jack said. "And you'll be looking for Risperdal, Atomexitine, and Ritalin.”

"You'll have them by tomorrow," Celestia said.

"Thank you, Celestia," Jack said. "If there's anything I can do in return, just let me know."

"Well, there is one thing," Celestia said. "The Royal Court will convene in 5 days' time. As you are the subject of the meeting, I would very much appreciate it if you were to attend. The court has been made aware of your secret and would very much like your honest responses to our questions."

"Sure thing," Jack responded.

"Wonderful," Celestia said. "Well, as much as I would like to stick around, there's a bit of an infestation in Fillydelphia that needs my attention."

Princess Celestia got back on her chariot and departed for Fillydelphia. This departure went unnoticed by a certain pink pony.

“Hey, what happened to the princess?” asked Pinkie.

"Emergency in Fillydelphia," Twilight responded.

“Some sort of infestation," Rainbow Dash added.

“Oh no! Have they got parasprites too? Well, have tuba, will travel," Pinkie said before giving her tuba a toot.

“I think the princess can handle it," Twilight said.

“So you knew what those critters were all along, huh Pinkie Pie?” asked Applejack.

“Well, duh!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Why do you think I was so frantic to get my hooves on all these instruments? I tried to tell you.”

“We know, Pinkie Pie, and we're sorry we didn't listen," Twilight said.

The other ponies added their own apologies as well, and finally, Jack reluctantly gave his own apology.

"Hey, Pinks?"

"Yes, Jackey?"

“I’m sorry I said your idea was full of… you know.”

"Don't worry about it," Pinkie said. "I can hardly fault you, considering you weren’t on your meds.”

“How did you…”

“Still a secret!”

Twilight cleared her throat. "In any case, thank you, Pinkie. You saved my reputation with Princess Celestia, and more importantly, you saved Ponyville.”

Town Square

15 minutes later

"Or not," Twilight said as they stood in the ruined town square.

Grabbing a trombone, Pinkie played a sad tune.

Author's Note:

Not really sure how I feel about how this one turned out. There are parts of it I really like, but also parts I didn't think were very good.
Next Time: Oni-Hime arrives in Ponyville and quickly takes a liking to her target. Meanwhile, Jack and Spike team up to help each other out with chores.

1,914 views

177

Previous Chapters Next

Regression: Isekai of Equestria - JackofEquestria

Stats

FIMFiction

Follow & Support Us