The Haunting
Admiral Biscuit
After dinner, we sat together on the couch. “I have a confession to make,” Milfoil said. “There wasn’t really a secret ingredient in the pie.”
“So the spices you put in wasn’t it?”
“No, that was just ginger, allspice, clove, and cardamom. I got something else instead.” She slid back off the couch. “Stay right here and I’ll get it.”
She was only gone for a moment, and she returned with a bottle of wine in her mouth. “It’s a honey white.” Her ears drooped. “I should have brought cups, I didn’t think of that.”
“I’ll get some.” I didn’t have proper long-stem wine glasses, but even if I had, I wouldn’t have chosen them unless she insisted. I had no idea how she’d hold a wine glass with her hooves.
By the time I got back to the couch, she had the bottle opened, with no sign of a corkscrew.
That mystery was solved after she’d poured two generous measures; she stuck the cork back in the bottle with her mouth. Presumably, she’d gotten it out the same way.
•••••
It might have been the wine talking, but I thought that Windflower was up in the attic. Milfoil had one ear cocked up as well. “Do you think she’ll come downstairs?”
“I doubt it. I think she’ll be cautious this time. She might not even go down the stairs.”
“I wonder if she can smell the pie?”
“I don’t know.” I leaned back against the couch—pony wine was powerful stuff. “Does having a cutie mark in winemaking make wine stronger?”
“Probably.” Milfoil giggled. “I don’t see why it wouldn’t. Ponies with flower cutie marks grow bigger flowers and ponies with baking cutie marks cook better food, so why wouldn’t a pony with a wine cutie mark make better wine?” She leaned forward to get the bottle again, bracing herself with a hoof on my leg. The bottle was slightly out of reach her and for a moment I thought she was going to go off the couch, so without thinking I grabbed onto her mane and tugged her back.
“Oh, god! I’m sorry about that—that must have hurt.”
“Going muzzle-first into the carpet would have hurt more.”
“I would have grabbed your shirt if you’d been wearing one. It was just reflexes.”
“I should have put the bottle closer. I—” she cocked her ear. “Listen. That’s got to be her. Where is she?”
I was about to say that I didn’t know, but then I heard a familiar creaking noise. “That’s the bathroom door.”
“So she did come out of the attic.”
“I guess so. Maybe she wants to take a bath again.” How often did ponies normally bathe? That wasn’t a question I was comfortable asking Milfoil.
The door creaked shut and I waited in eager anticipation for the sound of running water, but it never came. Maybe she’d just wanted to peek into the room to make sure that nothing had changed in there.
I don’t know when Windflower left. She didn’t come all the way down to the ground floor, and she didn’t spend much time upstairs playing with her toys.
•••••
“You’ve never seen the Running of the Leaves, have you?”
I shook my head.
“You have to come. It’s a town-wide holiday, and we gallop along to help the trees shed their leaves.”
“That’s not how it works,” I protested.
“Maybe not on Earth, but that’s how it works here. There’s a big shindig after that, and tomorrow’s Winter Dawn.”
“I’m not much of a runner.”
“Well, you can just watch, but it’s more fun to run. It’s not competitive, it’s social. Nopony gets a prize for winning.”
“How about coming in last?”
She stuck her tongue out at me. “If you promise to run, I’ll stay with you, and even if you’re as slow as a sloth, I promise you I’ll cross the finish line behind you.”
I wasn’t worried about coming in dead last, even though I probably would. It was more the idea of running or jogging that I didn’t like. What was the point of it?
But sometimes the way to fit in in a small town was to do the things the locals did, and it would be fun to spend a day with Milfoil, a day where I could put my thoughts and worries aside. A day to just cut back and relax.
“Okay, fine, I’ll do it.”
“Great! We start kinda early, about an hour after sunrise. Everypony meets up at the town square, and then we make our way to the edge of town.”
“An hour after sunrise? Is it too late now to change my mind?”
•••••
This was the first time I’d seen the majority of ponies in Haywards Heath all together, and it was plenty crowded in the square. Race officials were going around, taping numbers to ponies, and everyone was just talking and having a good time. I even got a set, which I moved to the front and back of my shirt.
Milfoil left me alone for a little while to talk to some of her friends, and I studied the crowd. The pegasus couple I’d chased off my roof was there, both sporting numbers, and they weren’t the only pegasi who were running. The event looked like it was open to all ponies, or at least all adult ponies—I didn’t see any runners who didn’t have a cutie mark.
By mid-morning, race officials had led us to the starting point. No one explained the rules; although since it was all for fun, I suppose there was no reason to have to.
When the starting whistle sounded, the entire herd took off. Milfoil had lied a bit; there were some ponies who did treat it as a race, and they galloped off quickly. They looked like mostly younger ponies, perhaps ones that felt like they had something to prove, or were showing off for their significant others.
The rest of the crowd was a lot more restrained, going at an easy trot, something that even I could keep up with. At least if the race wasn’t too long.
“Do you think that Windflower is watching?”
“She might, if she can come out during the day.” I could see the route that the leaders were taking, and we were going to pass along the edge of the forest where she lived.
“Even if she doesn’t, she’ll feel the change. Any Earth pony would. You might, too.”
I shook my head. “Humans can’t feel magic.”
“You say that, but how do you know? Maybe you just think you can’t, because you never try.”
I didn’t have a good answer to that.
•••••
We didn’t finish last, so Milfoil didn’t have to make good on her promise of crossing the finish line behind me. Although, as we got close, her own competitive streak cut in, and she took off at a full gallop.
I caught up to her briefly, and then she left me in the dust. Rather than exhaust myself completely, I just slowed back down and watched her. There was something magical, something beautiful about seeing a pony gallop. It was much more coordinated than a human running. With the whole crowd together, it almost looked like ocean waves.
Once we’d crossed the finish line, we were given a drink of water, and then we stayed to cheer on the rest of the racers.
Milfoil hadn’t been lying about the racing pulling the leaves off the tree, either. They’d been falling during the entire run, more than felt normal, but now that I was looking back at the end of the course, the change was obvious. A steady rain of leaves was coming down, and when I looked the other way, all the deciduous trees were completely leafless.
A few ponies congratulated me on my first Running of the Leaves, and once the final ponies had crossed the line, everybody went their separate ways to get ready for the party.
•••••
Most of the ponies went around their daily business unclothed, and while that had been odd at first, I’d gotten used to it.
It threw me for a loop to see Milfoil in a dress . . . not just a dress, but an entire ensemble. She even had fancy boots on her hooves, a necklace, and matching earrings.
I must have hesitated when I saw her, because she furrowed her brow. “Is something wrong?”
“I—you, I’ve never seen you wearing clothes before.” That sounded completely wrong. “I mean, I just didn’t expect such a fancy dress.” It looked like a prom dress to me, or something for a fancy ball; it wasn’t the kind of thing even a woman would normally have worn on Earth.
“Not everypony wears really fancy clothes, I could have worn something more casual.”
“No, no, it’s really pretty,” I assured her. “You look gorgeous.”
•••••
She wasn’t the only pony who was dressed up; in fact, nearly all of them were wearing something, and about half the mares were wearing dresses every bit as formal as Milfoil’s.
I’d been wondering how all those ponies were going to fit inside the town hall, but they hadn’t planned on that. Instead, the party was outside, in the market square. It was a bit chilly, at least for me, but not too bad as long as I stayed moving.
Staying moving wasn’t a problem at all. Besides milling about and going into the town hall for occasional snacks, there were also dances. At first, I said that I wasn’t going to participate in the dances because not only did I not know how to do human dances, I certainly didn’t know how to do pony dances.
Milfoil refused to accept that, and shot down my argument by explaining that if I never tried dancing, I’d never learn how, so then I drew the new line at not doing any dances that required me to be on hands and knees. She accepted that.
There were some dances for pairs, and other dances for groups, some of them with complicated footwork that I utterly failed to replicate. The only thing that I’d seen that came close was Riverdance, and ponies had four feet to do the moves with.
I didn’t trip over my own feet or knock anybody down, so in that regard, I was successful.
You're deliberately teasing the shippers now aren't you AB?
Eh, depends on the sub-species. Now, if you were an Azerothian human, all you'd need is the proper training. Terran humans, well that's a much more uncertain topic. With diligent study, you'd likely be able to manipulate magic in some capacity, indirectly via rune-craft or artifice if nothing else.
In any case, I guarantee you'll never know if you don't try.
9366009
Ey, I'm not judging. Better on you if your story gets printed out into paper using some sort of classical printer somewhere -- I know of a couple I'm around occasionally are old like that. Generally universal applicability makes the programmer in me happy
Though I've no idea what you mean by ctrl+h. Every word processor is different
9365146
Yeah, maybe. Anyway, I remember three minutes as an egg timer.
I also remember that really confusing me since the first thing I learned to cook was an egg.
I might look that up sometime if I somehow get bored before the thought goes out of my head.
9366161
Ctrl+H is "Find and Replace," I believe. The most useful tool I have ever used in a word processor, aside from maybe Ctrl+Z.
It makes bulk changes a lot easier. Like when I was editing a pony mod for Civilization V, that added the Crystal Empire as a civilization, I had to bulk change "Cadance" to Cadence (the correct spelling before Hasbro made a typo). Or when I had to change the art suffix from _EURO to _PONY to make the pony models from another mod work with the civ.
In most cases, it can retain capitalization as well. And in essays and stuff, if you know you often misspell a word a certain way, you can fix it all at once. It's no substitution for a real editor, but it can do a lot of things fast.
(On a side note, my mother still uses a double space after a period as well. She doesn't bother correcting it, though.)
Just waiting for the two of them to be in the house together one night, only for a raspy voice to sound behind them.
"Now kiss."
9366215
Ah, most editors I use use the ctrl+shift+f or ctrl+alt+r; Also I was under the impression that it was Cadance, not Cadence, as I always remember it by 'Can' 'Dance'
9366246
Nope. Actually, "cadence" is a musical term. And "Cadenza" kinda gives away the real spelling. Not to mention "This Day Aria" literally used what is called a "deceptive cadence" at the end. Which is awesome and I refuse to have Hasbro take that delightful pun away from me!
I understand why a lot of people were exposed to that first, though. At one point, Hasbro tried to remedy their mistake, but it had already stuck as the incorrect version. And so they mostly gave up. You'll find official material that says both of those spellings.
I'm just going with what the name means in Italian, the intentional musical pun, and the name that has a real meaning, like the other ponies have.
She can open wine bottles and presumably write with her mouth and tongue. You just make sure to put this fact in here as a reminder, in case we forgot. Very considerate of you, I'm sure.
Very sweet, glad that he's making friends finally. Including a best friend. Whether that's an Equestrian euphemism or not.
*Further ghost noises* "Wooo...WooOOOoooo..." Yes, ghost noises can be Imperative.
I'm really loving Milfoil right now, she seems adorable
An hour before sunrise -- agony. I did not expect to feel ghost pains while reading this.
Apparently hors's do not need corkscrews? Is it that they're just that strong or are bottles just easier to open for ponies? I imagine that getting leverage on a cork would be hard if they are naturally stronger, so I'm going to go for the easier to open bottles.
9366255
Official material with misspelling... whew. Yeah I get the e instead of an a, but still. Curse official typos
First date success! Just.... Kidding?
You can't deny that they're bonding over a common activity though.
Want to the bathroom but no shower. Wasn't attracted downstairs with pie. Hmmm...
9365479
Oh, I see. But I vaguely remember place names are fue to the mish-mash of different cultures and languages involved in naming things in America. You had the English, French, and Native American-Indians all rubbing elbows back then. You're bound to get some wierd translations going on there.
9366028
Well I happen to have a roughly 60 thousands word dissertation proving the effectiveness of particle beams on Equestrian ghosts. Should only worry about the side-effects when the beams are used on living ponies.
Isn't All Spice a human invention, and a brand name?
Oh-Oh. Getting right to it, then. 0///0 I can dig this.
Edit:
*"a few cups"?
*out of her reach
Must be strong wine, it's even getting to the narration.
Edit:
*"stay fit in a small town"?
or "fit in when in a small town"?
I wasn't expecting Milfoil shipping, but I'm not complaining.
Riverdance is dizzying enough to watch, but with four feet? Whew.
This chapter took the focus away from Windflower a little, and I must say it was all the better for it. Milfoil is a beautiful character and I'm happy she gets more screentime. Then again I'm always happy when I get to read about a human trying to integrate into pony society. ;)
Also: you tease.
I'm glad we're starting to see other interactions than just with Windflower. The human was becoming obsessed, and Milifold was the perfect out to get him out of his funk and obsession. Now, the real question... will this ship sail, or hit Bikini Bottom?
I got distracted by Christmas lunch for a few hours. I'm back, and I've finished the chapter.
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/459/759/f0d.gif
...wasnt this supposed to be a ghost story? Or was that just false advertising?
*pulls into the ship yard with a mining dump truck full of coal* Hey Admiral, this enough coal for the ship or should I get another load?
9366236
"Raspy?" Not "airy" or "whispy?" The former would up her creep factor...
9366505
Bikinis, you say?
9365112 We have lots of ghosts in the NJ Pine Barrens...
The residents kept eating people who drove through and got stuck in the sand.
So stronger wine = better wine to you Milfoil?
I've always thought that, indeed, it is not how it work, the threes are indeed able to do the work by themselves; the ponies are speeding along the process for the beauty of it.
Alternatively, they could just schedule an heavy rain or two and it would also do the job. It is all in the symbolism though.
It's a trap!
9366385
Fun Fact Allspice is actually its own plant. Pimenta dioica as the scientific name it is a spice/herb type plant. Its the dried nut/seed/dried fruit things that are ground down for the spice.
Tho what you buy in the store under the name is typically a mixture of it and another herbs and spices.
This Concludes Fun Facts Reggie Learned as a Master Gardener.
HERESY! Jogging is love, jogging is life!
9367631
Ah.
Also I was referrencing this:
9367652
Still human × Milfoil is an excellent ship
9367641
Don't worry, this is actually one of the fastest updating fics I read. A lot of the longer fics are a month between chapters... when they are on schedule.
I'm very used to waiting. Not to mention my own readers, who have to deal with my constant health issues.
9367683
...I think I may have offed the reply tag to what that was to...
9367805
As happens sometimes. If you do remember what it applied to, I can probably give a meaningful reply. Otherwise, it’s just “go to bed, Sweetie Belle.”
9367823
Something something ghost pun, something something...
I remember that the pun was rather ghoulish, made in jest, in reference to an earlier string of similar japes...
9367649
Maybe Earth has different physics? Who knows how strange things can get in a world without magic!
Fair enough. In that regard ghosts might not be different than Pinkie Pie. Neither can be explained by traditional science.
9367084
Oookay. That explains it then. :derpytongue:
9367693
A lot of our names have Afrikaans/Dutch origins, though there has been a trend towards renaming things native African names. If you fly to Johannesburg, you'll be going through O.R. Tambo International Airport.
9367655
Are off brands of Lucky Charms alright? I only use off brands.
Incorrect. I got the idea from a scene in Men In Black 3 -- which it sounds like an amazing idea.
Ohh Milfoil, you being awfylly nice to your human neighbour and I approve one hundred percent.
9367677 I wish they had gone through with the Nicholas Cage 'Superman' movie.
What glorious awfulness we've all been denied.
9367640
Oh boy! La maison qui rend fou, that one is a christmas classic where I'm from. I can probably deliver every line by hearth.
(Also my father who do work for the governement do likes to reference it from time to time, so it must have some degree of accuracy )
It's okay Milfoil. All mares are flatsos... unless you're in one of those stories...
9367700
Here....click this line of text to see where I got the height of a Dire Wolf
Next thing you know, our lad will be asking the violin guy with the beard to play Double Back.
9366125
Now why would you accuse me of such a thing?
9366141
And let’s be honest, there’s enough magic in Equestria that even a mundane human might be able to sense it, even if it’s not directed at him. He’s just got to open his mind to it.
Exactly!
9366161
I’ll be honest, though, some of the things I do don’t work as well online. Some of my earlier stories are tabbed in at each paragraph, which people generally don’t like in this format, and the double-spaces sometimes do odd things at line breaks, especially on mobile phones.
There’s probably a way around that, but that likely involves more formatting on my end, and might not be supported by FimFic.
9366202
Yeah, I have no idea why it would be three minutes if that’s not how long you actually cook an egg. Probably somewhere other than Wikipedia, there’s a more exhaustive explanation for why it’s so.
Word was just ctrl + f, and you had the option to just find or find and replace. That may be different now; I haven’t used Word much since Word for XP . . . whichever version that was.
Ctrl + z is a necessity with computers. It’s hard to accidentally delete in bulk on a typewriter, but very easy to do on a computer. I’ve done it multiple times.
Yeah, besides the formatting changes that I need (drop double spaces, fix em dashes, fix certain formatting marks I put in the draft), there are some words that I need to verify I spelled right (red underlines are usually helpful, but not always), or often more important, make sure that I didn’t make a dumb mistake with a character name.
As long as she’s not publishing on Fimfiction, that’s probably not an issue. And I’ll be honest, I leave it for most stuff.
9366236
When it turns out to be the old stallion who was playing matchmaker all along. . . .
9366256
Those are important skills for an earth pony. Anything else you assume she can do, or that you assume that the protagonist assumes that she can do with her mouth or tongue are on you.
I think that ‘best friend’ isn’t actually an Equestrian euphemism, just Hasbro’s way of putting confirmed lesbians on a kid’s show without the censors noticing.
Yes, they can.