• Member Since 1st Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Admiral Biscuit


The King of Slice of Life

T
Source

Now that I was living in Equestria, it was time to finally buy a new house. I’d settled on the charming little town of Haywards Heath, and found myself a decent house that just needed some work to spruce it up.

Or so I thought.



I might have gotten more than I bargained for.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 591 )

Excellent start! I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

For a minute there, I thought this was going to be Booette related. In which case, I would be like 'Dammit Admiral!' I mean, I guess it could still be, I'll have to read it and find out.

I am surprised that it wasn't mentioned that the house was haunted. There are some homes sold on Earth that it is in the paperwork that the home is possibly/is haunted. I am sure that ponies would have mentioned that so they would know they could have a new friend show up and float around.

there were so many options for window dressings at nearly every story,

store,
:twilightsheepish:

You must have a death wish if you think you can just leave me on a cliffhanger when it was just getting interesting:trixieshiftright:

Curtains being mostly a frivolous thing is understandable, though I wonder if the house should not have shutters? I remember pony houses having shutters, wich considering the fact that the show also showed windows that are just holes in the wall, makes sense: it offer protection from the elements when needed. Plus creating shades is often a must.

You are not going to wait till next year, this day, to release the next chapter... are you?

hmm, I would’ve thought a pony house wouldn’t be tall enough inside for a human

I was too worried about crime.

I suppose any worrying about crime is probably too much.

I got the sense that burglary was essentially unknown to the ponies.

Sounds like Guy's got a great opportunity to corner an entirely new industry!

Those darn pegasi, thestral, reindeer, griffin, hippogriff kids and their pet mice, squirrels, rats, rabbits, balloons, parkour, bog rolling.

Something that annoys me actually, people who spend ages to find long lived old buildings, then as soon as they get them, rip out door and windows outside, then not just doors, but walls, chimeny breasts, fireplaces and the whole interior. Then, clad the outside in fake random stone.

I mean, sure the Hunter genes are strong, but claiming kill rights on a cave that was created with history is just sad. :pinkiesad2:

Given mice, Id expect the next words to be, Casper. Casper, Is that you? :pinkiegasp:

9265030
Well, it's a small town, so you probably don't need to mention that, because everypony already knows about it, right?

Or maybe it's Steve's own fault for not checking the Public Register of Spooks.

Or maybe the mayor is taking illegal kickbacks from the ghost to hush things up.

Hmmm tracked. Let’s see what undead shinanagans await.

Seems interesting. The lack of door locks and curtains would take some getting used to though. I remedied the lack of curtains in my apartment at the beginning when I first moved in.

9265470
Most interior shots we've seen put the ceilings at about two "Celests" in height. Celestia is roughly twice the size of an average pony, so depending on what you measure ponies at their ceilings are between twelve and sixteen feet.

Fascinating. I look forward to this.

Comment posted by Soviet Power Soldier deleted November 7th

(checks for the M tag)
Whew. At least we're not going to find out what she's like between the sheets.
(Sorry! Well, not really...)

...but I guess that since unicorns could easily bypass a lock if they wanted to, and pegasi could get in through any window they cared to, locks were considered an unnecessary extravagance.

And for earth ponies, doors are more a polite suggestion than a strict rule.

I do love how this started as standard Biscuity slice of life in all its laid-back yet detailed bucolicity (which I am declaring a word as of now,) then shifted into something creepier in the very last sentence. Brilliant use of your established style. Looking forward to more.

One benefit to ponies of their clothing-free lifestyle was the general lack of window curtains.

So they've got no recourse if it's too bright out and they want to cut down on the glare? I keep my shades down most of the winter because my room faces our front yard, which is large and flat, so it's practically blinding when the sun shines on the snow.

9265549
Good point. I hadn't noticed it until now, but it's probably politeness/ convenience for the pegasi.

9265720
... If you're not here for the way Biscuit writes why are you here?
Everything he writes is dry and crunchy and delicious except where it's not.

The house I moved into some years ago came with an extra house hold member.

Nothing as been off about them, and in fact it feels nice to have the, about on quiet nights. Although a few people have pointed out that they have seen shadows and heard sounds, but as long as they don't break stuff no problem.

Comment posted by Soviet Power Soldier deleted November 7th

9266030
That sounds interesting. Maybe leave out some refrigerator magnets and see if they have anything to say.

9266075
I think shimmer is alluding to the fact that comment was a little harsh. While I think critisism is a fact of life and needs to be put forth when needed, cinisism is not. (Not sure if cinisism is in fact a word, but i have made it so.

I had a hard time determining what came from the house itself and what came from outside, but one thing I was sure of was that I heard hoofsteps above my head.

Better be careful, it could be a mugger!:moustache: A cute little horse mugger

Ghost ponies... hmm...

Beetlejuice Pony should be a thing in the show, I'm just realizing. It needs to happen for Season 9. Just throw in so many pop culture references there's no time for anything else! THIS IS HOW TO SUCCEED ON THE INTERNETS!

Very little has actually happened, which I like. It establishes at least some amount of character in our narrator, sets the tone, and actually comments on the innate differences between humans and MLP ponies. I appreciate the fact that you discuss, even momentarily, the implications of magic and innate flight on locking doors.

There were no keys to be given at the title signing, because like most pony houses there were no locks. That was something that I'd always found a bit strange, but I guess that since unicorns could easily bypass a lock if they wanted to, and pegasi could get in through any window they cared to, locks were considered an unnecessary extravagance.

Also, though it would be less stealthy, I'm pretty sure most Earth Ponies could buck through anything up to reinforced steel (possibly including it, with enough time and motivation). So, yeah, locks would probably not be standard.

9266075
Also

If you're gonna sound like a complete misguided accident trying to act like a dickish wannabe (epic fail, I might add)

Are you having a stroke?
9266688
Cynicism.

9266926
There we go, just failed on spelling. Haha

9266952
Still have no clue what you're rattled about me dude

9266956
Oh, well i was saying he didnt need to bd such a dick is all.

9266963
*She
Still not getting it bro.
I said it's just how Biscuit writes, you tilted hard

Comment posted by Soviet Power Soldier deleted November 7th

9267174
Im just gonna go take some advil... my brain hurts.:facehoof:

9266775
Worse.
"Would you like to buy some Filly Scout Cookies?"

9265498
You should see my place... granted it's a rental but the fixtures are 1920's. Light fixtures, brass door knobs, thick cordwood doors, hot and cold taps on the bathroom sink, clawfoot tub... 1970's industrial green stove (that I want kill rights for,) thick wooden doors for every door, hardwood floor, wallpaper in the bathroom (painted over) and interior walls that aren't just sheet drywall (this is the second place I've lived where the walls are plaster not drywall)

9266103
Ice box magnets? Call a priest maybe "The power of Harmony compels you!"

9267489
That's the good thing about Harmony. You don't need a priest, just friends.

But seriously, the medium who I talked with longest basically described their job as 'afterlife therapist' helping troubled spirits let go of their pain and anger to move on. Banishment was the failure case.

So yeah, the Equestrian approach is the correct one with ghosts. Establish communication, befriend them, and coexist for as long as they stay. Hence the magnets so they have an easy thing to manipulate. You could also use big light baby blocks with pictures or letters.

Blessed with Kindness, Honesty, and Magic to make it easier for the ghost to read and manipulate them of course...

This reminds me of an excellent feghoot (I don't think I've ever used those two words together before) from the Writeoff that ended with "a herd in the band is worth boo in the tush".

Except that the feghoot was rated E, and what I'm thinking at the moment, um... :twilightblush:

Alright, tracking. This should be good. :twilightsmile:

9265029

For a minute there, I thought this was going to be Booette related. In which case, I would be like 'Dammit Admiral!' I mean, I guess it could still be, I'll have to read it and find out.

For better or worse, I don’t know who Booette is, although I’m guessing from context, she’s the ghost pony in the cover art.

You can still say ‘Dammit Admiral,’ though. :derpytongue2:

9265030

I am surprised that it wasn't mentioned that the house was haunted. There are some homes sold on Earth that it is in the paperwork that the home is possibly/is haunted.

Maybe they don’t know. Or maybe they don’t have to disclose that on the forms.

I am sure that ponies would have mentioned that so they would know they could have a new friend show up and float around.

That would be something. “You’re getting a great deal on this house, ‘cause it comes with a ghost. It’s like having a roommate!”

9268530
Booett, is Boo from Mario but with the peach crown

9265069

You must have a death wish if you think you can just leave me on a cliffhanger when it was just getting interesting:trixieshiftright:

Well, bring on the tire irons. :derpytongue2: On the plus side, this one’s gonna have pretty quick updates.

9265119

Curtains being mostly a frivolous thing is understandable, though I wonder if the house should not have shutters? I remember pony houses having shutters, which considering the fact that the show also showed windows that are just holes in the wall, makes sense: it offer protection from the elements when needed. Plus creating shades is often a must.

They might have shutters. We have seen a lot of pony houses with them, and they seem to be functional rather than decorative. But I don’t think (without looking through a bunch of shots from the show) that they’re a universal feature, nor for that matter that our narrator would know how they work if the house does have them. As far as I can recall, I’ve only been to one place that had functional shutters, and that was in France.

9265171

You are not going to wait till next year, this day, to release the next chapter... are you?

I hadn’t thought of that, but it’s pretty tempting. :rainbowlaugh:

My current plan is to publish every other day until the story is complete.

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