After the last battle with Stygian, Starswirl finds himself lost and alone not only in a different dimension, but also in another timeline.
Now he must discover a way to contact the other pillars and more importantly what happened to the Pony of Shadows to ensure at least he has been sent to limbo. But in order to accomplish his objective he must first seek help from the inhabitants of this new world.
Of course he did not count on finding some fellow Equestrian creatures among them. The problem is that one of them might be not so happy to see him again.
Chapters (7)
Fascinating, I look forward to seeing where this goes. One thing though, this is not second-person, this is first-person narrative. Second-person is the one that starts every sentence with "you".
Unless the second-person element comes in later... In that case ignore me. anywhoo, let's see if principal Celestia's practice of "found" students extends to old men in wizard's robes.
Loved the chapter! Waiting to see where this goes. I still didn't start writing my next chapter! Shame on me!
Love the idea & keep being awesome like this!
9160634
Thanks a lot for your support. I am pleased you like the story so far. Anyway you are right about the second person: I need to fix that. Let’s see how Principal Celestia and rest of CHS react to Starswirl in the next chapter!
9160726
. Anyway don’t be too hard on yourself: stress is never good.
I can’t thank you enough for your support. I promise I will do my best to write a great story.
9160843
Counting on it!
great start!this is going to be one great story.looking forward to the future chapters. well done!
9161373
I am glad to see you back! Kind comments like this are very encouraging. I’ll do my best not to disappoint you next week.
Somebody blackjacked poor Starswirl... This just isn't his day.
Why was part of the chapter italicized? I think your word processor may have dropped a stitch.
9174286
Nope, that was done on purpose to highlight his really deep thoughts, but if you think that is inappropriate, I can always fix it.
Anyway I am pleased that you like the story: next time we’ll see who hit poor Starswirl from behind his back.
9174297
No, no, the italicization is good, it just took me a second to realize what I was looking at.
Venerable Ro was right : a part of the story is italicized. Even the conversation between Starswirl & that teenager is italicized at some point.
There was a small typo... you had written Meadowbroke instead of Meadowbrook.
Overall, I'm greatly looking forward to this.
One question though, when are these events taking place? The reason is Starswirl banished himself, the pillars & pony of shadows aka Stygian over thousand years ago & Sunset came into the Human World only a few years before Twilight became the pròtéégé(Is it correct?) of Celestia.
So just clear that up & I'll be eagerly waiting for the next chapter!
9174362
I wrote some of the words in Italics on purpose to highlighting Starswhirl’s deep thoughts, do you think that is inappropriate?
This this story is set in an hypothetical version of events in which Starswirl’s banishing spell failed and set him not only in another world, but also in the future. I apologise if I haven’t been specific enough in the description.
Anyway thank you for following and the tip.
I hope you enjoy the next chapter as well!
9174481
No, No, that's fine. Just saying that the conversation is also in italics. Unless it isn't Starswirl thinking it up!
9174362
The : “ Teenager” was Flash anyway...:
9174486
Okay, i’ll check that
Nice chapter, but aren't the diary entries written from Starswirl's point of view? Unless you have something else in your mind...
9202537
They usually are, yes. But I thought it would be interesting to break the monotony, letting Adagio take the word.
Next time we’ll get back to Starswirl
I can't wait
9215951
I am glad to hear that! I promise that our next chapter will leave you speechless.
There are mistakes but, story as good as always! Keep being awesome like this, dear!
Well, the story could have at least some redeeming feature with the beating, but ya decided otherwise in rather overused manner. First chapter is okay-ish (otherwise I wouldn't even track it to begin with), but the rest could be shortened up to 1 or two without any loss of actual plot/content.
GLHF.
thanks for another great chapter and story.this is going to be great fun when he meets the girls.let the adventure continue . well done to you.
Another great chapter, though I had looked forward to Sunset explaining to the ol' guy how the phone works... Loved this chapter & you really must check out for spelling mistakes. I've spotted a few at the start, might wanna check it out. Great job overall, considering in the situation you are in right now... (P.S Are your exams over yet?) Hope to read more next week. Might wanna keep your eyes peeled for my new chapter probably coming out tomorrow. Or else it's honestly gonna take a long time!
Crystal Out! xxxx
I have a question for your story if you can answer; What did the pony race do to the Siren species? I’m liking your story by the way.
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I do not believe the Sirens are mad at everypony, they were just feeding on their negative energy in order to stay alive. They're just angry with the pillars and the Rainbooms. I mean if someone hated you so much that they forced you to leave your home and brought you to a whole different world, while others robbed you of what makes you special, causing you and your loved ones to suffer for the remainder of your life, wouldn't you hate them. I think that sometimes feelings can effect people more than anything else.
9245844
That's the harsh truth that I knew that the show was lacking. But I was asking about the Siren race. What if the ponies polluted their oceans with trash, destruction of the ships sinking or worst; hunting them for their chest gems. What if Adagio, Aria and Sonata were the only three that bother to fight back against the Dark actions of ponies that the pillars and princesses were too blind, too trusting or too stupid to discover until it was too late.
9245855
I suppose you are right. It is a hurst point you’re making, but it’s true. Sometimes people, or ponies in this case, can be too selfish and self-centred to see things from the others’ point of view. They just impose their own will, believing that it’s right to do so, and classify others as evil, especially those who fight back.