Wings of Icarus

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Comments ( 7 )

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Bronze Inkwell

Bronze Inkwell #1 · Aug 24th, 2018 · 1 · · Ch. 1 Fiery Dreams ·

I for one, am confused, is this a Spitfire X Human OC or is it a Celestia X Human OC? Otherwise, great start and I hope for more soon.

Violet-Dragoon

Violet-Dragoon #2 · Aug 24th, 2018 · 1 · · Ch. 1 Fiery Dreams ·

9129450
He did say trainer in the last paragraph and earlier it did say Celestia got Spitfire to help him learn to fly. And you’re right, this is a good start.

Violet-Dragoon

Violet-Dragoon #3 · Aug 24th, 2018 · 1 · · Ch. 1 Fiery Dreams ·

Great start. I didn’t see anything that stood out that needed editing or stood out as poor grammatically. Over all, great job.

Bronze Inkwell

Bronze Inkwell #4 · Aug 24th, 2018 · 1 · · Ch. 1 Fiery Dreams ·

As I headed down to the training grounds where I was to meet Spitfire, I took a moment to run some cold water over my head in a nearby restroom, “C’mon Icarus, sooner you get this training done the sooner you can stop having weird dreams about your trainer.” With that I headed down to the grounds.

("Weird dreams about your trainer.")

And if the dream is anything to go by, then he must be in love with Spitfire. But in the description it says,

Will he fly too close to his sun?

And many would interpret this line to have the Human OC to be in love with Celestia. So which is it? Celestia, or Spitfire?

Funkyfresh

Funkyfresh #5 · Aug 26th, 2018 · · · Ch. 1 Fiery Dreams ·

Thank you all so much for the feedback, I really hope you like what I have to offer in this story. Honestly I'm writing this mostly by feel although I do have some ideas for the future. As per who the romantic focus is, the main focus for right now is Spitfire although whether or not he will succeed has yet to be seen.

Bronze Inkwell