- Member Since 17th Aug, 2018
- offline last seen Jul 31st, 2019
Forthvain Chrysantox
Who says erotica can't be beautiful? Insecure foals. I unfurl tales with uncomfortable truths, traumatizing events and what happens after, and of course, nether-throbbing erotica.
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Will the Sweetie Belle in your avatar eventually look like that in this story?
9122797
That's kind of the vision I have for her. Substitute the ivory-iris with pink curls, and the red coat for white and I think she would look similar. Same body shape though!
Of course my avatar just something I made real quick to represent myself- think of it as an O.C. of sorts.
And thank you for the question! I will try and make that more clear in the story! Have an amazing day!
This is interesting for sure. I think it would be a amazing turn if Sweetie started to date Bloom. Spike being sad he missed his chance goes to the one mare he always felt he could count on and confide in, Rarity. Which for her having a open and vulnerable Spike come to her is just what she want. And in that night she make her desire come true.... and Spike WREAKS her, after years of built up lust and feelings for her he let them all go and for someone who is so intimacy hungry as Rarity is she will love it more than anything else, willing to do anything and everything for this drake that is making her feel loved and like a mare once again. They decide to hide this of course. Which will be interesting when she decide to be nice and go on another date with this Stallion again but lets be honest a stallion can't compare to what she has now had finally. But she also want to hide this from Sweetie till her relationship with Bloom is more set in stone so she doesn't have to worry about her coming in and stealing him away. But she can't get enough of Spike and lets be far here a hot Cougar who is willing to do anything and everything to please you and submit to you fully.... who would ever turn that down lol. There are still alot of interesting places this story could go for sure and even this is just one route I see it headed down.
9123009
) 
That's a very interesting take on the story indeed! I may not be able to resist incorporating some of that in there, if that would be alright with you. Thank you so much for the feedback, it was fascinating and I enjoyed it!
I won't spoil anything, but my hope is you'll be pleasantly surprised where this story goes! A lot of this build up will pay off, and little details will become important later!
And like always, take care of yourself and have anamazing day! (Or night
9123073
Sure use any idea that inspire you from my writing I don't mind at all. I mean I just think the idea of the older mare, who clearly CLEARLY has a fantasy of being dominated and claimed by a large strapping drake, honestly manipulating her younger sister into going for someone else so she can work her way in and claiming him for herself just seem so fitting for her. She will do all she can to keep him to herself and give him all the desire and passion a male who I assume is in his 20s could want. Spike's dragon nature could also come into play, Rarity with her desires could have looked into what dragon's like and what triggers them and set the stage for her advantage. I mean I can see her burning some incense, dragon's bane or some kind of herd that is a strong aphrodisiac for dragons when he comes over to confide in her over losing his chance with Sweetie. She could also read up that dragon's have a strong desire to dominate their mates if they show signs of submission. Which would work out very well for her kinks lol, hell she could even know that certain gems have a aphrodisiac effect on dragons when they eat them. She manipulate the field to get what she want and that would be super cool to see. I do also wonder why throughout the whole story it seemed that Sweetie is resentful or spiteful to Rarity?
I wonder if there is a reason behind it or was I just looking too much into it. I do wonder with how much screentime AJ is getting in this story as well if she will play a big part in this. We already know Rarity is Bi, I honestly wouldn't be shocked if down the road after she feel she has gotten a firm hold on Spike and know he wont wonder off she decide to help out her long time friend by helping her get some of that release she has been desiring as well.
Lol I can so see this being fun showing how just wild Rarity and Spike are, both two being dying for so much passion and desire they will lose themselves with one another. I kinda got the idea of at one point Rarity lead Spike into Sweetie's room when she isn't there and tell him to take her right there. And they go wild both honestly loving how wild and kinky it is to just ruin her sheets lol. I can see Rarity also being HUGE on getting off on PDA even if no one else sees it. Like them walking down the road and she feel Spike groping her flank or even going so far to play with her as they are walking she would LOVE the attention he is giving her and would so want more. Him touching her under a table as they go out to eat, unbeknownst to everyone that it is a date. Lol I just had a funny scene of her going under the table and start to blow him. The waitress come to get their order. But Spike decide to have some fun and lean back and lift up the table cloth to show Rarity sucking him. She look at the waitress but she so much enjoying it goes back to sucking him even as the waitress watch too stunned to say anything and hurry off to get their food with a massive blush on the mares face.
Sorry for all the ideas, I tend to shoot off ideas rapid fire when I read a story I enjoy lol.
9123212
Please, never apologize for shooting your ideas at me! I am absolutely fawning over this!
Rarity's kinks will defiantly begin to shine through the stories progression. (Even in the chapter I just published.
)
And haha, yeah, AppleJack is defiantly given a bigger role.
There is a reason for Spike's attraction to ponies, though I won't spoil it as I doubt most will see it coming, and having the "Oh Shit!" element in a story is crucial.
And Rarity will begin to peruse dragon knowledge, acquiring a lot of it from someone you'd never suspect.
There are a large amount of things being foreshadowed here- just about every single word as a purpose, so I would encouraging plunging as deep as you can, as there is a lot to uncover!
And it makes me ever so happy your enjoying this! I will keep trying to do my part to keep you thoroughly entertained!
Please keep up with this feedback! It motivates me even more and I love it!
Wow I didn't see this turn coming at all. I mean I had a feeling AJ and Rarity might hook up but didn't think it would be this soon. But I think it did go a interesting route with Rarity being far too rough with AJ. Which I didn't see coming at all, I figured AJ would be tough enough to take anything but there is a difference between tough and being tough sexually. Some people just don't like rough things and AJ might not enjoy that both physically and mentally. But this also show Rarity's lust and desire might even be stronger than even she knew it. To me it does make a strong case for her and Spike. She can't hurt Spike physically really. And from what is to be believed about Dragon's they have monsterous stamina due to their greed and their ability to feel feeling stronger than almost any other species. So all this built up desire she has Spike could take it and return it twice over, which I think is honestly what she want. I do also think that if Rarity and Spike do get together she would go to AJ to make up for this, since by then she would be able to think more clearly since she would be finding release on the regular by that point. And she would bring Spike along with her. Since to be honest I think seeing Spike satisfy another mare, one she also finds attractive, would be a turn on for her and her kinky nature lol. I think a scene if Spike does go to Rarity to confide in her and the two of them talking she confess what happen with AJ and start to sob and he comfort her. Showing that outside of being her fantasy sexually he still is the male who has always been there for her through everything and always been such a important drake in her life. It would also make it less of a shock if she bring up wanting to have a threesome with AJ and him. In her house I can only assume it is Pinkie. I wonder what she is doing there? I bet it was her Pinkie sense letting her know someone hooked up between a Belle and a Apple which it turns out as this was all going on Sweetie and Bloom got together as a couple.
Anyway great chapter, I really can't wait for the next one since this had such a interesting turn and left on such a odd cliffhanger lol.
9123429
That's defiantly something I wanted to capture- just because someone looks tough, it doesn't mean they are. We all have our limitations to this kind of thing and I thought that was important to show early on because of something that happens later.
Ah, that would've been amazing for the cliffhanger, but it is another case of mind fuckery I will pull out!
Spike's greed will play an element at some part in the story- that's all I can reveal for now though.
Each sexual encounter in this series is representative of something. This one shows us what can happen when you let lust blind you, focusing more on your needs and disregarding any accommodations your partner may require. And also that people do just get together because they are lonely. Some sex can be very shallow, even if it is with someone you've known for a long time. Doesn't make you a bad person, so long as you make up for it.
And sometimes we do accidentally hurt others, even the best of us. AppleJack has been arguably more lonely than Rarity, and without a mate for even longer. She has crippling insecurities and this fuels them even more. If there is enough desire, I have thought about making a side-series from AppleJack's perspective throughout this. That one will defiantly be pretty dark though, as AppleJack in this series headcannon is extremely troubled, an reveals herself to be more complex than you'd think. She doesn't really allow herself to get close to others, in fact, out of the group Rarity's been the only one talking to her really in about four years.
(Spoiler for the that story I just mentioned, read at your own peril. Also ties into this) It turns out Rarity's been many ponies first crushes, and she was also AppleJacks. Making this extremely damaging to her. She's been wanting her ever since they went to school together, having her own fantasies and when someone this close hurts here like this, she is wrecked.
It goes deeper than just physically hurting her- Rarity really only was looking out for her own satisfaction. After being starved from something so long, it can be easy for us to ignore warning signs (When you look at someone/something through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags) and AppleJack defiantly desired something more serious. But she has to live with being a quick fuck which...really can be a crushing feeling. Especially after getting her hopes up.
(Spoiler Warning for this Story- You'll only have yourself to blame)
And worst of all, nopony ever comes to check up on AppleJack for a long time. Leading to one of the darkest scenes in this series. This event made AppleJack feel worthless, not feeling like she was able to satisfy anypony since Rarity didn't even get off even after she was destroyed. And she knows she isn't the best at emotions, so what use would anyone have with her?
Though Rarity will make it up to AJ in an interesting way! Thank you again! Next chapter will either be out tonight or tomorrow.
This is an interesting story. I do hope that Rarity can make it up to AJ, cuz it really hurts when you are treated like that. I am really interested if Rarity (remember Rarity," Sharing is caring") will try to go after her other friends since they themselves have said it that it also has been too long.
A Dragon's lust has no bounds, both figuratively and literally (Which means that they do have an op stamina bar). I really can't wait for what happens next.
9123578
Rarity is one of the most flawed of the Mane Six in my opinion.
Thank you so much for your comment! And believe me, I know first hand what it's like to be treated that way, so my heart goes out to AppleJack in this situation.
(Here are some kind of spoilers? They wouldn't really affect your enjoyment, and will be mentioned soon anyway)
And it's only been a long time for Twilight now.
Fluttershy is a little seductive deviant in her later years.
Rainbow just got out of a relationship about a month ago that had some intimacy.
And Pinkie- well, look out for my next story "Cake 'N Iced Smiles" coming out soon to see what she's been up to.
As always, take care of yourself and have an amazing day!
Well well this is a interesting chapter for sure. I didn't count on her cat giving birth and that is why they are there but that would be a reason they all would gather for sure. I think the moment upstairs with her and Spike will mean alot for them. Lets be frank Spike KNEW where he was touching he has spent his whole life around mares so he knows where his claw was. That would be like me giving a massage and not knowing where a females breast are. This shows he still have some feelings for Rarity and he has just now gotten farther with her than ever before. So it is a good chance he will come to spend more time with her again. Even more so since it seems that there is some tension between him and Bloom. Even tho I don't think it is as bad as Rarity and AJ but it is clear Bloom has feelings for Sweetie and seeing her show attention to Spike on top of herself makes her a bit jealous. But Bloom is such a sweetie, joke there i didn't even realize I was doing lol, that she would never be mean or treat Spike differently. She seem like the type to take the high road about something like this. I do find it odd they already classify AJ of having depression. It has only been like a day but I think it is better to catch something like that SUPER early so they can get a jump on it. Right now they can get to work fixing it so it isn't a problem for good.
I can't wait to see what will happen next that is for sure.
9125255
Spike defiantly knew the area he was touching, but horse teets are flat until they are impregnated. So it would be like rubbing a friends neck (this one usually has two x chromosomes) and stopping right before you accidentally tread into, ahem dangerous waters. It's much easier than you'd think- though I've taken care of people for a living and the neck is something that requires to to touch it more than you'd think.
The story is told through Rairty's perspective, but if it were told from Spike's it would be something like, "Spike felt himself go stiff as she asked in to go lower. As he slide down his hand he realized he was rubbing the top of her teet. His spines stood on end as he realized she seemed be want him to continue. His penis feeling like a rod of red hot iron had pierced through it."
I am a huge fan of show, don't tell. I think everyone, including myself would've groaned with boredom if it read, "Spike had obvious feelings still for her, she could tell." It's much more fun for all of us to suffer and agonize, wanting them to thrash at it just as much as they want to. And this shows they both really want each other, but no one is brave enough to say anything.
And depression is something that comes in many breeds, (Believe me, me and my severe depression have gotten to know each other pretty well over the years) though I think she was using it as a general statement, not a diagnosis. In the same vein someone says, "Gosh! I'm so anxious for this!" It doesn't mean they have generalized anxiety, just that they are feeling a rush of cortisol, norepinephrine (and quite a few others) in doses they aren't used to. Just as someone can be burnt by something so damaging they do temporarily have a depressive episode. (Which can last from days to months)
And I agree it's something that needs to be caught early. Depression can grow like mold, before changing that person forever. (Unfortunately speaking from experience.
)
Oh, and on one of your first questions you asked and I forgot to answer
- why does Sweetie seem to have such resentment and spite towards her sister. I won't spoil too much, but a skosh of it is just this jealousy younger sibling can have over things you'd think were trite. Sweetie reveres her sister, and is one of the ponies who's most disappointed when she makes a mistake- which she often does, as out of the mane 6, I find Rarity to be the most flawed.
In her eyes, Rarity can do everything so easy without breaking too much of a nervous sweat- or so she thinks, as sometimes I think we all put the people we look up to on pedestals and think they couldn't have the problems we do. Because one day we'd like to be like them and without problems, able to finally just relax. Rarity is almost a house hold name in this universe, so her sister admires her for her sense in business, her tenacity, intelligence and adaptability. And Rarity never talks down to anyone you'll notice. Especially around Sweetie's age, out mentors still treat us like children. So Rarity's realism is something unique and inspiring to her.
(This Spoiler Has Potential To Destroy You, Read At Own Risk)
And on him and Bloom, I think they both know that they like the same pony, but also don't want to say anything. Both thinking that the unicorn is out of their league, and that she probably isn't attracted to another species or is straight. Bloom is defiantly an angel in this, she can accept a loss much better than even her mentors. I hate stories that have the two suitors competing for someone hate each other, and I think they'd still be good friends.
And the kittens will play a role later, I thought that would be a nice surprise most people wouldn't have seen. Even though the seeds were laid in chapter one.
And I am adoring this feedback! So long as you are enjoying yourself, by all means keep it going! As always, take care of yourself and have an amazing day.
Great happy to see a new chapter. This is so interesting in trying to figure out Rarity fully. I mean she is so mixed in a way. It is a bit hard to tell at times if her affection comes more from her loneliness or from a true desire to want to be with Spike. I think we got a better idea of that from this chapter that there are some genuine feelings for him in her so I can't wait to see when those are stimulated. I think romance is something that Rarity seem to not consider alot. Lust sure, but romance is the thing she is scared of but she seem to willing to enjoy it from Spike. I like to think that is a sign that Spike is already behind her guard even if she doesn't fully realize it yet. I can't wait to see her studying that book even more. Finding out more and more about dragons and their matting habits. I think she will invite him over the next day after the date not wanting to wait. I think the biggest thing is I think the date might even go well but they wont make a relationship official. I think honestly that Spike even with him having a attraction to Sweetie can't get rid of his feelings for Rarity and him being the good guy he is can't commit to her when he can't put his heart into it fully. He went on the date to see if his feelings for Sweetie are stronger than his ones for Rarity but after the moment they shared I think those old feelings are stirring stronger than ever. It will be funny when he drink that tea, eat her meal, and whatever other little tricks she might set up. On top we KNOW she will be teasing him the whole time, lifting her tail, wearing something sexy, physical contact, she will have him ready to pounce by the time they get to desert lol. Man I hope Spike goes nuts, I want to see him do some wild shit when they finally reach their breaking point, I will save those ideas to keep the review more tasteful but there are a number of passionate and intensely intimate moments I can see the two of them sharing. And I think the best thing is even when they get together I can still see so much more to this story beyond that lol.
Anyway great chapter I really can't wait to see the next chapter as we get closer and closer to a full/ almost full chapter of Rarity and Spike
9128681
I believe there are defiantly more feelings than just lust she has towards Spike, though just imagining the intimate side of things in a way helps protect her emotionally. If you fantasize about how someone is head over heels for you, only to find out they aren't, it can destroy a person. Which I feel Rarity has experience with in the past. Never wanting to be hurt that way, she only lets herself envision something that doesn't necessarily have many emotions attached, just something more primal than anything.
And that one is coming soon! I won't say which one so it's a surprise, but your agonizing will pay off!
(Light Spoilers)
Somethings you are right about, though some may go in a way you might not expect. Rarity still needs to find the other half of the book, which has some pretty kinky stuff in there.
Spoilers for next chapter- which will be out tonight-
We will actually see her convert her bed into a kind of nest that makes her more desirable for mating, though that's all I'll spoil.
And thank you again for your feedback! I personally don't mind the kinky feeback at all, just warn anyone who reads the comments first and then have at it!
9128725
Oh I didn't see the next thing coming at all. I think she would more likely convert her guest room into that since I am pretty sure she wouldn't want to lose her bed. Hmmm unless the 'nest', is more like a oval bed that is soft and gold sheets or trimming around around it making it feel more like a hoard of gems/gold something that makes dragons very comfortable. That way it can still act as a normal bed lol. I wonder where she will find the other half of the book? I mean if she got it from the dragonlands it could be anywhere.... BUT the best chance I would think it would be with Trixie or someone else who travels alot and has the highest chance of coming across the book on the road. I was just thinking I can SO see Rarity losing it if Spike gave her a rimjob or something, I just feel that even with the other times she has been intimate they have never been truely wild, kinky, and intense, so a mid 20s or so dragon with ALOT of built up sexual desire and love on top of hopped up on aphrodisiac will go at it with the full primal intent of marking her as his and with the intent to breed her even if that might not be possible without magical assistance. I just get the feeling that Rarity also is the type to secretly be SUPER into anal, since it is so taboo and unladylike the idea of it would shoot a shiver down her spine and with her having the second biggest flank after Pinkie I know it is something Spike has thought about tapping more than once lol. I wonder will this Spike be a duel wielder or a single broad sword kind of dragon lol. That is going to be a wild day since I get the feeling these two are going to end up mating in every room of her home, even Sweetie and her showroom lol. It will just be super interesting to see how Rarity will change when she has someone who she know care about her and will show her affection not to mention she will finally have that itched scratched. She of course will change her worries to more about losing him and trying to keep him and also fixing the mistakes she has made as well.
D*** these comments sure are text walls
That is NOT how you write stories. This is not beautiful, it's just purple prose. I recommend you to check out The Eye of Argon(if you haven't done it yet) and read the reviews on it to see reader's opinion on purple prose and how you can avoid it in your stories.
As to be more specific and not just look like a prick that's how I would change your first paragraph
9129788
Simmer down now, I do actually see what you mean. I will admit my writing does have a purple prose problem, though I would like to ask that you better construct any future messages? Or not read my content at all if it bothers you, as that doesn't benefit anyone and takes time away from you enjoying stories you enjoy!
On constructing messages:
While I do appreciate your feedback, I will ask that you calm down a little. Most people won't be receptive at all if you insult their work right off the bat, which could lead your comments not even being read by others when you dohave valuable things to say.
And writing is something entirely subjective. Some things you dreaded in this are something someone else could have adored. There isn't anything people will universally love. As you could infer, I like purple prose, you hate it with a fiery passion. Doesn't make either of us worse off, so just be mindful that not everything can or even should conform to what you like. That will only make you deeply sad and angry, emotions that don't propel us forward in life at all.
And please, for yourself and others, don't call them a prick when trying to show them what they did wrong. Would you have read this if I started out the message if I started throwing out names? Maybe, though we won't have a functional conversation, which would be dreadful. Please don't belittle others or yourself for that matter, because really, what good does that ever bring?
Pros from your messages:
I did really like that you used an example to show me some things I did wrong. Such as where some words just weren't needed to make the story feel less clunky and flow so much better. And even directing me to another source that shows an audience's reception of similar works!
A revision of your message that would generally optimize someone reading it and taking you seriously while keeping the same core values:
"I really did not like this! I don't find it beautiful and its all purple prose. I recommend you to check out The Eye of Argon (if you haven't done it yet) and read the reviews on it to see reader's opinion on purple prose and how you can avoid it in your stories.
And to be more specific, here's how I would revise your story-"
You may disagree with that, but as someone who also writes as a profession this is all around something that would have a better chance of making an impact. Something I know you hoped to make, otherwise you wouldn't have said anything. You may respond if you'd like, though unless it is politely pointing out errors and more ideas on improvement I may not look over it.
In conclusion, I am still grateful you commented as this feedback was eye opening. Even though I may have not gained your readership, I do hope you find other stories out there that really capture what you're looking for and that you enjoy them! And as always, take care of yourself and have an amazing day!
9130370
I didn't. I literally meant that 'now I'm going to stop bitching around and write an example so that I don't look like a prick.'
So I'm sorry I guess.
I should have been more specific.
As for
I really don't know how this corresponds to
One would think that a writer should know that writing is not subjective. And it's not just that I don't like purple prose, it's considered bad style. There's a big difference between 'You can't please everyone' and 'I don't care about what my readers will think about my writing because I like it another way better'.
Again, sorry if I might look pretentious. I just find that a critique is more valuable for this site and its users than circle jerking.
9130560
Whoops, haha, sorry about thinking you called me a prick. Reading back over it I can see what you originally meant.
And I whole heartedly agree that any writing site needs more critiquing and for circling jerking to be stomped out. That's how ones potential talents stagnate, as if you think you're already good you'll never change.
And what I meant by that is people prefer different styles of writing. You'd be surprised how praised purple prose can be in the industry. (Believe me, I've seen people try to describe paint chips as political statement
) And what is purple prose to one person can be fine to another, therefore being subjective, you see? It comes down to someones perspective and preferences, no matter how wrong you think they are.
Some people like myself like things that are a little more flowery and descriptive. Though I understand you'd rather read something that gets to the point and isn't trying to shove down your throat that it's eloquent, I really do get that.
Simple as if someone likes traditional hand tossed pizza or a pan, (Yeah I know, there's a lot more to it than that, but like of the adjectives like dough I suppose) neither are wrong for their preference and not everyone will like the same thing, though you can work hard on both to have them turn out well.
And I defiantly care what my readers think- even non readers now like you! Because I would like to improve my craft. I am new to writing erotica/romance, normally I am writing some gorey fantasy adventure/horror so I still have a bit to learn.
Thank you again for your feedback and honesty, I do hope this made more sense and clarified anything. I hope you will rest a little easier knowing I will use this when looking over my own workers before publishing!
This was a interesting chapter for sure. Twilight being Twilight was the voice of reason in everything lol. But I think that is something that Rarity needed. Someone who will tell her how it is and not dance around the topic with her. Being friends sometime mean telling them what they need to hear. I do wonder what is her endgame with WolfBane tho?We know she want some attention and affection right now and WB is giving her that. I wonder will she end up hooking up with him before she does with Spike? I mean I am SOOOO seeing a scene when she is out on a date with WolfBane and they end up running into Spike. Oh man I wonder how he will feel seeing Rarity on another date with a Stallion even after that moment they shared. I am sure he wouldn't make a scene or do anything to ruin it, since this isn't the first time he has seen her on a date. But this is the first time it has happen since Rarity has been more exploitative about her feelings for Spike herself. Than there is the wonder on if WolfBane share Shy's fear of dragons, and it isn't like he has been around Spike for years like Shy has where she can trust him. I hope the remaining of their friends who are still in the good with AJ are being there with her. I can't see Shy and Pinkie letting be be alone with their support. And Dash would kick her door in to check up on her good friend lol. I like how you handled the nest thing for sure, it worked out much better than I thought it would.
9131243
I defiantly wanted to make her more grounded versus the last big time she appeared.
WB will play a more interesting part than just an old high school crush. Think back to his profession and how that might help Rarity- though that's all I'll spill for now.
And that would be an interesting element to add in. It would show that some ponies still have primal fears and prejudices, even though Equestrian society has been more accepting in the integration of different species.
Because I know there are hearts heavy out there for apple horse, she is being taken care of in this point of the book and thankfully isn't going about this alone. Though I think she would still be a little difficult, fresh of being hurt. But Rainbow would just roll her eyes and help her anyway.
And thank you for that about her nest! I was worried about that it would be too forced or seem too personalized for her. Thank you again for your feedback! Next chapter will be out tomorrow!
I will I apologize since these are a couple of chapters late, I lost my internet midway in a raid, they were not happy.
Chapter of the Tea
I have to say I was really surprised at the reason to why everyone surprised Rarity, Opal had kittens, I have to say that was quite nice. I am actually glad she was able to save her friendship with Pinkie. I am still waiting for what she has to say to AJ.
I do feel like she is walking in a thin thread with her relationships, that's usually a cliche in which bad things will happen.
Chapter of Dragon Envie (French)
This is the moment in which I really want for Rarity to talk face to face with AJ. To let her know that she is very precious to her, that she didn't mean to hurt her that way and make her feel like she is someone really special. I know that it is a really hard thing to do, but the longer you sit on the worse it can get.
I smiled at what bell said
so it hints that she may swing both ways (C'est un bijou épicé pour vous!)
) and her one and only book of Dragon mating probably laying out where everyone could see.
I was surprised by Zecora (oh you!
I was actually able to relate with Rarity on this part, the fear of being romantically rejected before you can even confess.
Chapter of the Gift Apple (Danish)
It is good to know that we can at least rely on Twilight in for some help, but I am not so sure she is right about Bell since Bell might be swinging both ways since she did hint that she knew about AB on the previous chapter.
Bell is moving out, it would probably mean that by moving out she is not only being independent but would be making a serious reach for relationships.
I feel like in this chapter I lost a bit of the sympathy I had for Rarity from the previous chapter. I am not even sure if she actually cares about Spike or just wants to use him just to get laid and get it over with. A guy shows up, has some cheese lines and ask her for a date, she could have said no, said that she is currently interested on someone else but instead, she will see him next Tuesday. At that point, I lost sympathy for her. She hurt AJ, and I know she will make up with her soon, she is trying to seduce Spike, knowing very well that he may still have feelings for her and it still not official with Bell, but I feel like she is creating chaos that going to hurt everyone around her all because she is not thinking rationally. I really do hope she is able to see this before that happens.
On a lighter note, I always saw Male Dragons as the ones to impress the females by building nests during mating season. This is an example:
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Well I am glad to hear you've gotten it back! I hope everything is alright on your end?
And closure for AJ is coming soon! I hope you will all enjoy how it plays out, all I have to say is keep an eye on the apple themed chapter coming next. Rarity has drifted apart from her friends overtime if anything, on top of being stressed I can see how it looks like she's treading on thin lines- which I wouldn't say she is per say.
WolfBane is the one she went on a date with in Wolf de Flora- the chapter with hair fondling and nacho-burgers.
And you can't get cheesier than asking someone on a date with a nachos! Should I feel ashamed that might work on me?
Spike is already going on a date with her sister, so she respectfully stops her advances on him. Opening up her mind to what if Sweetie gets with him? So accepting the date with WB adds a little buffer in case things do go well, and it still is just a hang out right now. And when you've been lonely for a long time in that way and someone comes along offering you that attention...even the strong willed of us struggle to not want a little.
If anything she is trying to respect Spike's choices, something any healthy relationship should have though little do. I will work harder to show this since it may not have been clear. But this shows a mature respect for him. Rarity ends up becoming more inspired to customize her bed for herself from the book than for mating, which kept her busy and let thoughts of seduction slip her mind for the time being. Becoming so engrossed she falls asleep, instead of obsessing how it went when Sweetie gets back.
And who knows, maybe Zecora's is interested in the female dragon
. She always seems to have half her books out, and usually we have our newer books pretty front and center to get to them.
At first I thought it would be great to see Spike build a nest, though we don't know who it is for as his species mates for life. But it didn't resonate well with my beta readers and there were a lot of contrivances that went along with it. Who knows though? Maybe Spike can still do this, and then he sees Rarity's bed and looses it. I hadn't read a pony building a nest before and wanted to see if I could, so I made the female dragons the ones who did built them. Being the egg bearers it would be a relief to already feel at home in something you built then to move into someone who probably doesn't think much about the eggs, just the action.
Thank you for your feedback! And as always, take care of yourself and have an amazing day!
This was interesting for sure. It sounds like Sweetie and Spike's date went well but there is still some room for Rarity to come in there and leave a impact. I didn't think she would give her the special flower and she would have kept it for herself. But Who knows how much that helped the date, or how much willpower it showed on Spike's end that he didn't do more smelling that flower the whole evening and didn't act on what his instincts where telling him to do. I guess Rarity gave her the flower because she want to be both a big sister and not feel like she has made a big mistake like she did with AJ. I wonder what will happen with Rarity and WB with her going over to see him like that? I REALLY want to see how Spike will react if he find out she hooked up with him. I mean he knows she has been with other stallions, but I just figured that he thought they had a connection recently. Oh course if one look back to the date with him and Sweetie you see that he was nice and a gentledrake but he wasn't described as super flirty or affectionate. Like he didn't want to go too far or cross a line with her at this point. I think that shows he hasn't fully committed to the idea of Sweetie. So who knows how he will react when he hear about the whole WB thing, Even more so since he could hear about it from Bloom, Sweetie, or even just run into her himself. Anyway interesting chapter, I wonder where it will go from here
As a big sibling myself, you never want your younger siblings to make the same mistakes as you, and want them to succeed- no matter how much you butt heads. So the flower was defiantly a huge step for Rarity. Showing she has seen her own flaws, and wouldn't want to damage Spike, also showing she has respect for him and her feeling are more than lust. Therefore giving Sweetie something that would help her the best she could, accepting that she really might not make him happy, or be enough.
And don't worry, I have delicious things planned for WB, Spike, and Rarity.
That's what I think the first date went like. He was polite and attentive, but that's the thing. That shit's boring and not something you remember from a date. Nor does it make it special, as the person isn't interested enough to be themselves or act special.
With the flower, he would primaly attracted to her, and have grown up with each other, but that's not enough for a serious relationship. And it would show restraint as his body is telling him to nail her to the floor, but disciplines himself. This is around the time he realizes he isn't committed to her, like you said. He was trying to move on from Rarity to her, feeling like he had a chance. Recognizing that's unfair he puts a halt on it- that's all I'll spoil for now though!
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Lol that makes me really want to see the next chapter now seeing how I was right about Spike and his feelings for Sweetie. But also the whole seemingly soon to be very tense situation with WB, Rarity, and Spike. Lets be honest here if a fight broke out between the two I wouldn't want to be WB seeing how Spike is a dragon, and a mid-late teen dragon physically at that even if he is mentally a adult. We have seen physically Dragons WAY outscale ponies in strength and endurance with only a few like Apples and Rockhoof being some of the few who seem to be able to match up to teenage dragon in power, Rockhoof being more on adult dragon level of power.
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Spike could quite literally bite his head off, and it's hard to win a fight with out one of those I've heard.
But in all seriousness, he defiantly would win and you are right in that assessment.
Oh boy, will it be something interesting to see, I can promise you that! Sleep over's bring out the, *ahem*, most interesting sides of us. And thank you for all of the encouragement! You've been an amazing inspiration!
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I can't help but wonder if those interesting ideas for WB, Rarity, and Spike involve the advantages of sardonic hypothetical anatomy....
Incidentally - you keep using defiantly in place of definitely.
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Now that's an interesting idea for Spike for sure! Seeing how he is a reptile and not a mammal, thanks for the food for thought!
And thank you for telling me that!
I hadn't realized, and will comb out the incorrect word usage.
As always, take care of yourself and have an amazing day!
Well this was interesting for sure. I didn't think WB would have had the book but now she has the rest and thing might pick up from here with her secret crush. I have to be honest I am a bit happy she hasn't slept with WB since I think that might make things with Spike rocky not to mention it would really cause alot of tension between.... really everyone. But I can still see she is still being flirty, but not too much not doing any physical interaction to give off too much of a message so that is good. I wonder will we get to see her reading more details about how intimate dragons are. It would be great if Spike is 'duel wielding' she would make a mess on herself right there if she find out Spike had two monstrous dragon pillars for her lol. I think since it has been a while since the Spike x Sweetie date he might come to her to talk to her about it and his own feelings, and maybe try to get a feel about what happen between the two of them last time they were together. Which Rarity would so see it as her chance to make a move. Seeing her run around gathering all the things she found out turn a dragon on from the book will be too funny lol.
I agree on that. There isn't much harm with flirting, in fact its psychologically unhealthy to not and can lead to depression and diminished sense of self worth. (There's a lot more I could add there, but I'll stop myself) But sleeping with him would have created sooooooo many problems. I think they'd have the potential to be good friends more than anything.
I think things will play out in the way you like.
As always, take care of yourself and have an amazing day!
I like where this is going so far.
Come on Rares... Just tell them you went sleepwalking, it won't get WB into trouble and will help him feel better too!
Man this was a great chapter and super important to the story as well. One it gave Rarity a idea of what is wrong with her. She can start to help fix what is wrong a bit even if it is just alittle. The biggest thing to me is that Rarity now knows Spike doesn't feel love for Sweetie. And Rarity isn't dumb she KNOWS the one he likes is her and that would mean a ton to her that even after all this time. and Spike now knows Rarity needs him and he will do all he can to be there for her. So she knows she has a chance for her to be with him. I think with this new vigor and knowledge she will act even more so knowing he will be seeing her again very soon
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And some of their problems overlap as well! She's having difficulty with moralizing getting with someone even though she's still in love with someone else, and so is he.
Rarity defiantly knows now, though still has to process it. Now's when the games really begin!
And thank you so much for the feedback!
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"Rares" is such a cute pet name, make me gush every time.
And we'll just have to see what happens! But I think that would be a theory and something she'd stick with as to not hurt anyone further.
She got Belle'd!
Scary thought: The CMC lusting for Spike.
Opal's kittens? Do they have names.
Luna should be the answer to her dreams.
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Their working names are Amberline and Quartzeccence.
That's actually a pretty interesting idea!
Perhaps in another story she (Luna) can explain panic attacks in dreams, specifically recalling a rattling one from a certain white unicorn? 
In the synopsis, you forgot the fourth e in Sweetie Belle. Please respond to this comment.
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There are... FIVE E'S
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Just a quick spelling note: "definitely" and "defiantly" are two different words with completely different meanings. Also, I defiantly declare that the word you're looking for is definitely "teats", not "teets". :)
>Me when I read the description img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-03/26/19/enhanced/webdr06/original-25942-1427414325-9.jpg?downsize=715:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto
I don't know how I got here, but was quite surprised by the quality of the writing, given the somewhat heavy-handed subject matter. Here's to hoping for a happy ending for all 😊 (and maybe a couple of those daydreams being made reality).
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This smile really made my night. As you, and many others have noticed, I have been gone from a creative burnout caused by worrying out the quality of my stories. I am happy to report that more I.T. is indeed coming soon! As well as more stories that will be quiet different than it. 
With that, take care of yourself and have an amazing day! 
Oh gosh, thank you so much.