Chapter 1
Starlight Glimmer had attempted to teach Trixie how to utilize the teleportation spell for the past hour, but she had yielded no discernible results. Starlight had shown her how to teleport a flower from one pot to another and how to teleport books from the table to a bookshelf. No matter what she tried, Trixie seemed to botch up the intended result no matter how simple the result actually was.
“We tried everything I could think of… but nothing seems to be working! Okay… what’s next? There has to be something...” Starlight chewed her lower lip as she desperately wandered the room looking for something that she could use. She flung open cabinets and displaced objects in her search. Trixie glanced over at Starlight with an amused expression on her face.
“You know… you seem pretty high-strung for someone who said they could teach me magic...” Trixie remarked as she leaned a foreleg on the table, a cheeky grin plastered on her face. “Maybe we should go and grab something to eat before we continue. I could really go for some ice cream right now.”
“No… we’re not leaving until you get this spell right!” Starlight stomped a hoof on the floor of Trixie's wagon. She groaned, then she pulled the showmare over to the book. “Now, focus on what you want to teleport and…”
“Oh, don’t worry... I know what to do next! You sit back as The Great and Powerful Tr~ixie makes this flower disappear!” In one fluid motion, she planted her forelegs on the table and aimed her horn at the flower pot. When her magic washed over it, something did indeed vanish. However, when Starlight opened her eyes, she found they were drawn to a lone flower that rested on the table. She quickly realized that the only thing Trixie made disappear was the pot and soil contained within.
Starlight felt one eye twitch in repressed aggravation. How can a showmare not even know the most basic-- Starlight pulled herself from her thoughts by taking slow, deep breaths to steady her nerves.
“What’s wrong? You seem a little on edge. Don’t worry, it’s nothing that I can’t fix. How about we go to the spa later? That should relax you and make you forget all about—”
“No! Trixie, you’re... ugh! I just need some time to think…” Starlight groaned as she trotted out of Trixie’s wagon, slamming the door behind her.
Trixie winced.
“Oh great… I screwed things up again didn’t I? I really should have paid more attention to what Starlight was saying.” Trixie bemoaned as she hung her head with a resigned sigh. Suddenly, her head shot up with a determined look in her eyes. “Wait, I have an idea… and I think it’s just bold enough to work!” Trixie clapped her forehooves together giddily at her own idea. "I just need to set up a few things first..."
Trixie wandered around her small wagon as she took out a few items from inside of a cupboard. Feeling satisfied with herself, she set them on a small table inside of her wagon. She began to set the table with a white table cloth, a pair of candles, and a small bouquet of roses from a rose bush she found outside of her wagon.
“There… that should do nicely. I need to show Starlight that I care about what she’s trying to teach me. I should surprise her by actually learning how to cast that spell,” Trixie remarked as she dedicated the rest of the morning to studying and practicing. Eventually, she was able to move a flower from one pot to the next and retain its original shape and color. “Okay, that’ll do I think. Time to break the news to Starlight!” Trixie said with a grin.
Meanwhile, Starlight Glimmer sat in her bedroom in Twilight’s castle and pondered how she was going to complete her newest friendship lesson. Starlight stood up and turned to leave when Trixie stormed in.
“Ah, there you are Starlight! I felt bad that I wasn’t getting the spell right, so after a bit of practicing on my own, I can now move things from one place to another with ease! Also, as a part of my apology, I have a surprise for—”
“Oh, really?” Starlight’s ears perked up as a smile slid on her face. “Prove it.” She held up a book, then set it on the desk beside her. “Teleport this to my bed.”
“Okay!” Trixie returned Starlight’s smile and planted her forelegs on the ground. She pointed her horn at the book, then concentrated as hard as she could. The book rose into the air, glowing with her magic, then disappeared in a bright flash of light, reappearing on Starlight’s bed. Sweat grew on her brow which was promptly wiped away. “There! See? Told you I can do it!”
“That’s great!” Starlight’s heart swelled with pride. “So I guess I’m not such a horrible teacher after all, then!” she announced with a giggle.
“It definitely wasn’t you,” Trixie mentioned as she felt herself blush. She glanced off to the side in a fruitless attempt to hide that. After a few moments, she continued. “Even though I put on a big show, sometimes I get nervous and mess up when I’m trying new things. It’s even harder when I feel pressure from a good teacher, too,” she added sheepishly.
“Heh, maybe I was a little impatient with you.” Starlight rubbed the back of her neck. “Still though, I’m really glad that you were able to figure it out!”
“Well, I did have a good teacher!” Trixie shot back. “Say... if you’re not doing anything tonight, I’d like to treat you to dinner in my wagon. I promise I’m not a horrible cook!” she said with a chuckle.
“Sounds like a plan! I have some things to take care of first, but... wanna meet at your wagon at sundown?” she asked, cocking her head to the side.
“Sure!” Trixie nodded and clapped her forehooves together giddily.
The sun gradually lowered in the sky as Trixie turned on some mood music and removed her wizard hat and scarf. She wasn’t going to need them for what she was about to do. As the sky darkened, she worried that Starlight would not show up. Just as night fell on the city of Ponyville, a knock came at her door. Trixie grabbed a rose with her mouth as she headed to the door to answer it. Starlight was on the other side, with a genuine look of surprise when she saw her holding the rose.
“Trixie? What in the hay is—” Trixie pressed a hoof against her mouth as Trixie smiled at her. Feeling both anxious and nervous, Starlight looked back at Trixie with trepidation as Trixie removed her hoof. “Trixie? What’s going on here? What’s with the candles, and the tablecloth… is that music?” Starlight asked in a surprised tone of voice as Trixie confirmed her suspicions with a nod.
“If you could let Trixie speak, then maybe she would have explained herself already…!” Trixie trilled in a sing-song voice as she set down a couple bowls of salad on the table. “Remember when I said that I felt bad when you stormed out of here earlier today? I want to apologize… and do it right. By this I mean, I am looking to make tonight memorable with a candlelit dinner and… maybe some snuggling, if you feel up to it.”
Starlight stood at Trixie’s door with a look of confusion, yet a twinge of curiosity was apparent in her voice. “Trixie? You went through all of this trouble for me? I… I don’t know what to say but—“ Trixie gently pressed a hoof against her lips again as she gazed into her eyes with an intensity that caused her cheeks to flare brightly and adopt a rosy hue.
“Then you do not need to say anything at all. The Great and Powerful Trixie thinks that you should stop being so wound up and just enjoy yourself for once. Let someone else shoulder the burden once in a while,” Trixie admonished as she removed her hoof from Starlight’s mouth.
Before Starlight could even think to say anything, she found Trixie’s lips pressed against hers. When Trixie broke off of the kiss a couple of seconds later, a small strand of saliva hung in the air, extended from where their lips were connected. “Um... wow. Totally didn’t see that coming,” she said with a nervous giggle.
“That’s just my way of saying thanks for your hard work,” Trixie chirped as she stepped aside.
Starlight trotted into the wagon and took a seat at the table. “So, what’s this about an apology?” she asked as she started eating her bowl of salad, confused as to why Trixie was going to extravagant lengths for such a small issue.
“Well, after you left… I realized that I was not treating your lessons, or you, with the respect that you deserve.” Trixie rubbed her forelegs together sheepishly before she continued. “I couldn’t help but feel terrible about all this… so, I decided to plan this evening as my way of saying I’m sorry for being such a pain earlier.”
“Yes, but you didn’t have to go to such extravagant lengths for your apology, Trixie. A simple ‘I’m sorry, I’ll pay better attention next time’ would have sufficed, you know?” Starlight shot back as she idly picked at the salad in front of her. “I feel this might be a bit overkill, if I’m being honest.”
Trixie’s cheeks flared brightly as she looked away and awkwardly cleared her throat, “W-well… that’s not the actual reason I called you here, Starlight. I… I actually had something to say to you.” Trixie took a deep breath and attempted to steady her nerves for what she was about to say.
She had known Starlight for about a year and she felt like she was only really meeting her for the first time. She knew that Starlight was her friend… but recently, a strange feeling grew within the pit of her stomach that made her rather anxious whenever she was near her. Every time she saw Starlight, butterflies flitted around in the pit of her stomach.
Trixie was always good at maintaining appearances, but she knew that she wouldn’t be satisfied until she got her feelings off of her chest, and she felt that this moment was the closest she would get to being prepared for such a thing. She only hoped that she had enough courage to follow through this time when all other times her courage had failed her.
“Trixie? Hey, are you okay?” Starlight asked while she waved a hoof in front of Trixie’s eyes, which snapped her from her revelry. She looked over at Starlight and was silent for a good minute before she mustered up the courage to speak.
“O-oh, yes, I’m fine Starlight…” Trixie trailed her words intentionally as she sighed. Even she knew that statement was a lie, and she felt it couldn’t be denied any longer. “Actually, Starlight, no… I’m not fine. This whole evening, something was dancing on the tip of my tongue but I was too nervous to say anything fearing what you might think,” she mentioned as she started to explain. “You see… The Great and Powerful Trixie has felt something welling up inside of her that I didn’t feel comfortable explaining to you in the past. Whenever I see you, Starlight Glimmer, I feel butterflies. Even now, those very same butterflies are flitting around in my stomach...” Her friend remained silent as she idly picked at her salad. “What I’m trying to say is… I really enjoy your company and I was hoping that you felt the same. Would it be too awkward of me to say that I consider this as a… date?”
Silence hung heavy in the air as Trixie averted her gaze away from Starlight, worried that she overdid it. She didn’t dare to look at her friend, fearing that what she said had made things too awkward between them. That is, of course, until a hoof rested against her chin and turned her head until her eyes locked with Starlight’s.
“Trixie, you really are full of surprises today. To think that you planned all of this before you asked me out… isn’t it supposed to be the other way around, usually?” Starlight remarked as she cocked her head to the side. “Well… what kind of pony would I be if I said no?” she asked as a warm smile tugged her lips upwards. “Trixie, you got yourself a date,” Starlight revealed at last, as she gazed into Trixie's eyes.
Trixie squeed.
“Well, I guess we should continue eating… I-I mean, you said that there was a possibility of… s-snuggling, correct?” Starlight stammered out, allowing her cheeks to burn with an intensity that could rival the sun if her cheeks were able to radiate heat.
“That’s right! I’m glad to hear that you’re willing to give this a shot, Starlight. The Great and Powerful Trixie will not disappoint you!” Trixie exclaimed before she continued, “However, maybe we should finish dinner first. After all, I am sure that you did not come over here just to hear me ramble on about how I feel about you...” Trixie added awkwardly as she fell silent and allowed her and Starlight to enjoy their salads.
After dinner, Trixie blew out the candles and made her way to her bed as Starlight nervously followed suit. “Now, for those snuggles I promised... Don’t worry, I can see you are rather uncomfortable with this prospect... so I’ll be the big spoon tonight to ease you into it,” she remarked as she climbed into bed. Trixie gently wrapped her forelegs around Starlight’s body and dragged Starlight into the bed as she threw the covers over them with her magic.
Starlight wasn’t quite sure what to make of the position she found herself in. At first, she felt nervous and unsure if she really wanted to follow through with this. “Um, Trixie? Maybe we can do this another time? I kind of had other plans tonight and—” She stopped speaking as Trixie pulled her close and wrapped her forelegs around her stomach, making her wonder why she felt so uneasy. The warmth from Trixie’s fur pervaded her body, which made her relax and nestle against Trixie’s stomach.
Trixie nuzzled her nape and cuddled up to Starlight as she lowered her head and softly spoke into her ear, “See? That wasn't so bad, now was it?” Trixie asked as her forelegs lightly rubbed against Starlight’s stomach. Trixie felt every muscle in Starlight’s body relax as she relaxed in Trixie’s warm embrace. “Don’t worry, I promise to be the big spoon for as long as I need to be until you get comfortable with the idea. Even if we have to do this every night until the end of time.”
Eventually, sleep tugged at Starlight’s mind to which she relented with a loud yawn. “Hey, Trixie?” she asked, her voice light and airy as sleep threatened to overtake her mind.
“Yes, Starlight?” Trixie softly replied as she nuzzled one of her ears, then she rested her chin on Starlight’s head as she waited for her to speak.
“Can I be the big spoon tomorrow night?” Starlight asked as she looked up at Trixie. When she did, her eyes reflected the moonlight as it danced across them, lending a soft glow to Starlight’s hopeful expression.
Trixie yawned as she began to drift off to sleep, but not before she muttered, “As long as you’re comfortable with it, I wouldn’t mind being the little spoon tomorrow night.”
Starlight smiled and nestled against Trixie. “Good. I’d hate to let you have all the fun,” she softly said as she drifted off to sleep.
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That was cute!
What a cute story
8892338
Thanks! I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it. Keep your eyes peeled for more stories like this from me!
8892301
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Right, I only got one shot at this.
*Clears his throat.* OMG THE CUDDLES
A very adorable and heartwarming. The writing is also great so good job!
Very romantic ❤️
Ég hef verið aðdáandi Starlight x Sunburst, en þessi saga er líka góð.
8893173
Ég er ánægð með að þú líkaði það.
They will have to tell the others about this.
Cute.
I would take more.
Nice, now I want to read more, but this definitly worked, one of the one shots I can actually enjoy and I think I get better at picking them out of the sea of bad ones.
8958745
I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed reading it! I have noticed that there hasn't been as much, shall we say, quality one-shots up recently. Keep your eyes peeled for more like this coming up from me!
This contains all sorts of cute and adorable on my book, job well done.
8959701
Thank you for the kind words, and I'm glad you liked it!
Pretty cute
This is frakkin' ADORABLE!
Review is up.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/213901/my-little-reviews-feedback/thread/424091/spark-of-love-review
This is such a simple and sweet little romance fic, and I must say, you nailed the character personalities down to a T. The pacing was nice, allowing both Trixie and Starlight to express their depth as well as how they react to each other. But there are some big issues that are holding this fic back from being great, rather than good.
The biggest problem is your over-use of saidisms. Contrary to what some may say, using "said" isn't inherently bad, but when you repeat "said" over and over, it drags down the flow of the prose when you could express character emotions in different ways. For example:
You use "asked" twice in this one paragraph and said right at the end. This is far more than necessary because we already know that Starlight is speaking, and we already know she's grinning.
Here's how you could rephrase the paragraph to express the same information, but without the reliance on said + variants thereof:
In this version, you have Starlight's reply as a basic said after the pause. After that, the only break you need in the dialogue is to show the change in her expression.
The other problem is "Show, don't tell." This isn't an absolute rule, much like with saidisms, but rather a general guideline. You have the potential to show the character's emotions through body language, but so often you seem to preface this with an adverb. For example:
Words like "instantly" have their place, but to have it so soon after "Energetically" is just overkill. Try something like:
What I've done here is pace the action a bit by splitting it in three. First we have the spell cast, setting up the intent. Then we subvert that expectation, leading the audience into the details of what went wrong.
As I said before, this fic has a ton of potential, and I do think you are capable of doing better. You have all the right tools at your disposal, it's just a matter of arranging it all in a better order that can make this whole piece really shine! I'd give it a 6.6/10