Bamboozled again!

by Theboxcatgamr

chapter 14: "two" shots, of vodka and a dash of cyanide to taste.

Author's Note:

There is two virsons of weed-whacking, one involves lawn care and the other involves cranking one out while taking drugs.

Yet in both cases grave harm is possible due to sharp objects

Clyde took us back to ponyvill and we took a stroll over to rarity's place, I entered and asked if it was possible for her to make me a suit, I left once she had my measurements and I was on my own since Clyde and Théodore also had to prepare for the events tonight. Since Théodore was already royalty and Clyde could just hide in my shadow I decided on looking for someone else to bring. Someone who really hasn't gone before... But who?

In the distance I heard rainbow have conversation with scootaloo about why she couldn't come with her to the gala. All because the rules were strictly invite only. I went over there and then asked the question.

"Hey I heard you two saying something about the gala?"

Rainbow nodded both her and scootaloo with the same sad expression.

"Yeah-no you are coming with us if you want."

"hey I know you aren't from around here, but as much as I hate to say this. Rules are rules"

"First of all, the rules can suck it, and second of all,"

I handed the extra ticket to scootaloo and she just burst into a smile. Unfortunately this was so sweet it gave me the diabetes. After that she was practically Bouncing away in a fashion that could be comparable to a regular Tuesday for pinky pie. I eventually made my way over to the tree house and I knocked on the door.

Spike opened up the door and said that twilight was off getting fitted for her dress. So with nothing better to do I went inside and had a conversation with spike. I managed to get some hidden information about spike and I now know he is currently sixteen in dragon years (he said its around ten of our years) and is apparently due for wings soon.

I asked if I could send a letter to Celestia and Luna to say that I would be attending the gala but he advised against it because twilight wasn't home. So on that note I said good bye and I gave him a quick hug. I left and went to see if Clyde and Théodore finished getting suited up. On the way I noticed something suspicions out of the corner of my eye, the very same thing that got me into this mess in the first place was sitting under a pile of clothes. The box.

I quickly snatched it out of its resting place and ran. The box hasn't been sent to earth yet and my paranoia cuncluded that by that logic if I can't get this sent back to earth for the first time then the evil king guy would have never come to earth for the box and I wouldn't have saved equestria in that timeline causing me to case to exist. Panic ensued and I realized that this would essentially kill Théodore and Clyde since Twilight wouldn't have invaded my mind and gave Clyde freedom and I wouldn't have sung with Théodore ether.

I ran as fast as my legs would take me and I was knocked unconscious and woken up by Clyde in one hell of a suit. He told me to get changed and said we needed to talk. I got into my suit and I even got a new tye...wait hold up. It's the tye I wore before I came to equestria! I found my tye also in the junkyard a few weeks before the cube and I thought it was absolutely amazing. FUCK.

I explained to Clyde the situation and showed him the elderich cube. He yanked Théodore out of the shop and we then discussed the timeline. Théodore's eyes went wide and said we needed to see the princess and get help.
We made a quick five step plan: one- attend party as usual. two- break off of group and draw the crowd away from the princesses. three- tell them a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. four- send the tye and box to their respective times and places. And finally five- PROFIT.

With this we proceed on to phase one of the plan. Acting about as naturally as three guys about to be wiped of the face of this planet could be. We had to go along with any shtick they threw at us to avoid attention.

We arrived and planned to split up but unfortunately a the music crew had other plans and eventually...

"Wait what's that sound?"

"what are you talking about?"

dude can't you hear that music?
Théodore Looked at Clyde like he was crazy.

"screw this and this song. I'm not singing"
Clyde was hit in the back of the head with an apple just like the last time I refused to sing.

"Oh no you don't. If I had to sing you have to sing"

Clyde retreated to the shadows avoiding practically a storm of produce and left me for dead in the music infested waters.

"...fuck"

And then it happened:

"I can't believe we're finally here. With all that we've imagined,...
...the reality of this night is sure to make this: The Best Night Ever!"

"Please don-At the gala"

That's not what I wanted to say but that's what I said

"At the Gala,in the garden. I'm going to see them all!
All the creatures,I'll befriend them at the Gala (at the Gala).
All the birdies,and the critters. They will love me big and small!
We'll become good friends forever,right here at the Gala!"

"..."

"All our dreams will come true right here at the Gala! At the Gala!"

"(Sigh)"

"At the Gala (it's amazing). I will sell them (better hurry).
All my apple-tastic treats (yummy,yummy). Hungry ponies (they'll be snacking).
They will buy them (bring your money). Caramel apples,apple sweets (gimme some),
And I'll earn a lot of money for the Apple family!"

"I want to die"
My request remained unnoticed

"All our dreams and our hopes from now until here-after.
All that we've been wishing for will happen at the Gala! At the Gala!"

"At the Gala,all the royals. They will meet fair Rarity.
They will see I'm just as regal at the Gala (at the Gala).
I will find him,my Prince Charming,and how gallant he will be.
He will treat me like a lady,tonight at the Gala!"

"This is what we've waited for,to have the best night ever!
Each of us will live our dreams,tonight at the Gala! At the Gala!"

I never did find out how to get the screaming in my head to stop. But for a brief moment I discovered why it was screaming.
PAIN.
LOTS OF PAIN

"Been dreaming,I've been waiting to fly with those great ponies.
The Wonder-bolts,their daring tricks. Spinning round and having kicks.
Perform for crowds of thousands. They'll shower us with diamonds.
The Wonder-bolts will see me right here at the Gala!"

"All we've longed for. All we've dreamed. Our happy ever after!
Finally will all come true,right here at the Grand Gala! At the Gala!"

"I am here at the Grand Gala,for it is the best party;
But the one thing it was missing was a pony named Pinkie.
For I am the best at parties,all the ponies will agree.
Ponies playing. Ponies dancing,with me at the Grand Gala!"

Pinky stopped and looked me dead in the eyes and asked why she doesn't get many lines.
Never found out what she meant when she said that.

"Happiness and laughter at the Gala! At the Gala!"

"At the Gala (at the Gala),with the Princess (with the Princess)...
...is where I'm going to be (she will be).
We will talk all about magic and what I've learned and seen (she will see).
It is going to be so special as she takes time just for me!"

"this is the day! Tonight is the night! This time we will set it alight! At the gala.

Despite the tears and despite attempts to avoid singing. This happened and like a man possessed I was on autopilot:

"This is it. The final stretch. The moment in time that I get to bet. This is the night. I will set it alight! It's time to steal the spotlight!"

I gotta admit. I actually didn't sound half bad.

"This will be the best night ever! Into the Gala we must go. We're ready now.
We're all aglow. Into the Gala,let's go in and have the best night ever!
Into the Gala. Now's the time. We're ready and we look divine."

"Into the Gala,meet new friends."

"into the gala so the screaming will end"

"Into the Gala,sell some apples."

"Into the Gala,find my prince."

"Prove I'm great as a Wonderbolt is."

"To meet!"

"To sell!"

"To find!"

"To prove!"

"To woop!"

"To know why I'm being abused!"

"To talk!"

"Into the Gala! Into the Gala and...
...we'll have the best night ever! At the Gala!"

...where are the knives?

Comments

[unknowncape7377]

... wat