Bamboozled again!

by Theboxcatgamr

chapter 30: ermegerd zermbers

Author's Note:

"Heh heh. Bip bap zibidyzap my pudding pop in ya va-va-voom heh"

- the sounds of the wild bill Cosby's mating call

so we gat called up by Luna to investigate the everfree forest to see if we could find a large source of unnatural magic that was being reported from the forest. So we let Noah sleep in so he could handle twilight's inevitable breakdown. On the way towards our objective we decided to talk a little:

"so how's life?"

"... I suppose it's better then before."

"good...so do you like anybody?"

she blushed at my sudden question and stuttered.
You know what that means?

SHE WANTS.

THE DICK.

"W-Well I suppose I do enjoy Noah's company..."

i ship the fuck out of that

"Really? How so?" ;)

"well...he is a lot smarter then he lets on...he is a good father from what I can tell...and I find it absolutely adorable the way his eyes shine when he sees a packaged brick of cheese..."

she went on and on about this for a while.

*+10 to shipping*

We got interrupted by some wolves that took the opportunity to ambush us. They were dispatched quickly by a flurry of hooves and blades. They just as quickly regenerated (as you do) and forced us to retreat. We needed a plan to stop them from resurrecting, since we couldn't brute force the wolves without Noah we only had one option. We ran.

Eventually we found ourselves in a very spopy town that was torn and worn with age. Something had chased the wolves away. The town felt familiar to me. Eventually in the distance we saw some of the locals. They were quite dead. One of them approached us and started to talk:

"hia strangers! Welcome to sunny town!"

it was here I remembered what this was from: a fanfiction.

Nightmare didn't seem to notice the fact that the inside of his chest was visible through a large hole.

"Oh piss off you walking talking grey gravely fucknugget"

Nightmare was stunned most by my outburst at first but then it was here that he decided to drop the act

"aw don't be like that. We only want to be your friends"

he put a lot of emphasis on the last part as many other zombies joined him and formed a mob.

Nope.AVI

We ran towards the exit only to find it blocked off by a wall of zombies, we headed deeper into the town and got lost for a few hours, eventually we got yanked into a building by a zombie that was much less dead then the others. Instead of spelling her name properly i descoverd that I actually can't English very good sometimes, so I simply dub her from now on, mits. It's not that I can't say it. I just can't spell it.

"you shouldn't have come here. We are cursed"

"oh, well shit"

*smack*

"language!"

"ok! Well fuck you too mits!"

I threw down a portal and jumped in grabbing nightmare on the way. She was dumbfounded as to how I knew her name and how I just left via a hole. We ended up in town and we went back to the library and passed out. The next day we told Noah about the town and that's that!...

...

...

He is uh. Kinda taking a while...

...

...

*starts visibly sweating*

...

...

Where the hell is he?

...

Ah fuck it! I'll just keep going

We told him about what happened in the forest and he was unnerved by the idea of real actual zombies. He spent the rest of the day alone in the basement and a lot of noise was made. He came out a day and a few hours later in a gas mask holding some sort of homemade flamethrower. However he had gotten an idea and instead of using just fire he used the gift I gave him after he found out that it was more flammable then gasoline. end result? The purifier. The flame wasn't even hot according to Noah.

He went outside and we didn't see him for hours. When he did come back he was covered in soot and he literally burned down the entire town. He returned with two ponys one of which was actually mits and a second one that could only be ruby (or whatever her name was). Applebloom was ecstatic that they made it safely to town as they had met previously before we came to equestria. ruby apparently saved Applebloom from the zombies and led her out of the town.

Instead of crashing at twilights house like everyone ever they decided that they simply wanted to get as far away from sunny town as possible. And so they went on the train to canterlot and got outta dodge.

...

...

So...how's life?

...

...

Ok and now to pass the time I am going to state as many different ways of the word "sex"

The horizontal monster mash, smash, pound, the sex number, xtream spooning, schpoonin, inserting slot A into slut B, buttsex, fuck'n, thy log that splits thy legs in twine, the elevator, pornhub VR in real life, a slow but soft titty-twister,
The good-est succ-

...

...uh how long were you standing there?

Monster mash

FUCK

Oh there's a good one! Straight to the point!

uh what happened to the guy?

He went home...for now

what do you mean?

He literally can come back at any time suddenly and we can't do anything about it.

...should I-

Yeah set up the cannons. it won't be long before some crazed hardcore Brony hears about and forces him to take him to equestria.

shit. Well since he WAS from the comments section...

Yeah, if they are up for it then we can basically bring a shitload of people to gang up on a sex crazed pervert and help us kick the shit out of him.

did you ever find that guys name? It is kinda important

...uh, hey guy I helped! If you are reading this then could you say your name in the comments? Also get a taser or something because they are probably going to come for your ass.

Comments

[Theboxcatgamr]

8979616
Just a sorry gift for the trouble (also to get back at Clyde)

[Theboxcatgamr]

8979616
By the way you are welcome back anytime! Even though you were unconscious you seemed nice enough.

Also get a taser or something, the crazy basterds are probably going to try to hunt you down and have you take them to equestria or some weird shit... If you need help just ring me up.

Also please refrain from telling Clyde about the alcohol.

He will cut you

[JohnstoneT]

8981035
Um... Thanks for the heads up man. I just went and got the taser. For some reason though it has a setting on it for a manticore. It's probably a typo.... I think. Also thanks for the gift man. I also got a new job to but hopefully no one there will recognize me.

Though I will just be working with staff for setting up and moving things. Weirdly though I was asked to bring any drinks I had on me. So I'll have the drinks you gave me on me. Any ways I got to go there soon since it's in a few days.

-John.
_{a very generic name}