Bamboozled again!

by Theboxcatgamr

chapter 53: F is for famil-FUCK OW SPLINTER AAAAAHHHHH!

Author's Note:

🅱️

”ok now before we go and introduce ourselves I need to explain to my family exactly what’s been going on.”

”ok!”

Scootaloo was practically bouncing around in excitement and nightmare looked at the house with curiosity. Noah covered his shadowy hand with his sleeve and entered the house and after a few moments of silence Noah returned looking somewhat nervous.

”alright. Y’all ready?”

The group nodded and began making their way into the house.

”oh my god.”

”(sigh) believe me now?”

Noah uncovered his hand to the surprise of everyone present. The room went silent and John began to look around. He saw a bulky man in a leather jacket, an elderly woman and an elderly man,

”hey Jake where is everyone?”

”sick. They uh came down with the flu pretty bad”

”...how bad?”

”they can’t get out of bed. Apparently America got it so bad in some place called “lazy pines” that apparently they have the town on lockdown”

Noah pails a bit after hearing this news. Noah looked at his brother’s hair and spotted a very red strip of hair on his head.

”shit”

”so...uh what’s with the uh...”

”pony’s”

”yeah.”

”well believe it or not-“

”oh I think we’ll believe you”

”...this is my daughter: Scootaloo.”

”hi!”

Jake looked at Noah and Scootaloo in surprise as she talked.

”ok then. So uh where did you adopt her from?”

”adopt?”

”...I’m sorry what?”

”oh no she isn’t adopted. Apparently after we did a few tests...well it turned out she was my daughter.”

”Dude you said that you and that one girl you were with left because-“

”she was a fucking liar who used me for entertainment!”

Scootaloo looked at Noah cautiously

”...who was she?”

”I don’t want to talk about it”

”well how did you two meet?”

”well let’s just say that my flirtatious relationship with death escalated quite a bit”

John interjected

”wait are you really saying that-“

”yes I literally told death to fuck itself. It took two to tango and boom”

”how?”

”well it’s not like I knew it was death at the time! I thought what we had was special!”

”s-so I’m...”

”(sigh) yes. Your the daughter of the ol’ pale horse herself and a Canadian. So eh it balances out”

Noah shrugged

”...”

An uncomfortable silence filled the room as Scootaloo began pondering what being the daughter of a “canadian” meant

”...so...huh. My name is John, pleased to meet you.”

”I’m Jakob”

”nice to meet you”

”same. Who’s that behind you?”

”...”

”his name is tempo”

John felt that tempo was somewhat afraid of the man who in comparison to the humans of the group was absolutely massive in height and strength. Tempo hid behind John’s legs like a scared foal. Jakob chuckled a bit at the reaction.

”so anyway what’s up with you Noah?”

”oh nothing much. Fighting wars kicking shit up.”

Jakob looked slightly distressed

”hey Dad can I go play outside?”

”sure. Just don’t play in the streets. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

”thanks Dad!”

As Scootaloo left the building Jakob pulled Noah into a different room

”I’m sorry you’re doing what?”

”fighting?”

”why the hell would you do that?”

”why not?”

”you could get killed!”

”wouldn’t be the first time”

”what was that?”

”nothing”

John entered the room with nightmare and tempo

”Noah we got a problem!”

”what?”

”some weird white thing full of people is trying to catch Scootaloo!”

”SHIT”

To Jakob’s surprise Noah and the others were sprinting out of the door at a pace he could bearaly keep up with. When he made it outside he saw the van and a strange man wearing a hat chasing Scootaloo. The man grabbed her and jumped into the van losing the hat he had on. To Jakob’s shock underneath was a very blue head of hair and a pair of horse ears. The van began trying to speed off when suddenly...

”Nightmare!”

”I’m on it”

A chained weapon appeared and quickly sunk into the back of the van. Nightmare strained as she pulled the chain back with her magic as Noah joined her and grabbed the chain as the van kept on moving. Noah’s Armor appeared and began slowing down the van as John grabbed the other side of the chain and began pulling as tempo bit down on the chain and tried flying backwards. The backdoor the chain was attached to was ripped off its hinges to Noah’s horror and the van began to make its way towards the park.

”FUCK”

”come on!”

Nightmare took to the air as Noah grabbed her front hooves and spead towards the van gaining ground. They caught up to the van and nightmare threw Noah onto the roof of the van and quickly went inside the entrance that once was a backdoor. Noah landed inside and quickly grabbed Scootaloo who was tied up with a muzzle on her face. Noah gave Nightmare Scootaloo as he heard the sound of a gun being fired. Noah’s Armor protected him as he leapt our of the van and landed somewhat gracefully as the van spead off. The three began heading back to the house as Noah untied and un-muzzled Scootaloo.
Noah’s Armor went away and to his relief he was not hurt from the gun.

”ok I know it was nice to see you again jake but honestly I think it’s time we go back to Equestria.”

”yes please”

”...”

The portal appeared and Scootaloo eagerly went through it as John and tempo followed.

”hey Noah?”

”yeah jake?”

”good luck out there”

”thanks man”

The brothers hugged it out and nightmare smirked. A faint noise began to come from the portal as Scootaloo screamed. Noah quickly turned and ran to the portal...only to get drive-by shot by the driver of the van. Nightmare screamed as Noah stumbled into the portal and nightmare quickly followed.

The ship was plowing into the land and began sinking into the everfree forest as changelings swarmed the ship. Noah, weakened by the hole in his chest was quickly sedated as changelings carried him off. Tempo improvised and carried an unconscious John with another changeling until they were out of sight. Tempo, wrenching John out of the other Changling’s grasp quickly booted the drone in the head knocking him out. Tempo carried John down to the forest and hid him in a tree watching the ship fall into the massive moat and sink like a rock

no one will remember anything

Comments

[Theboxcatgamr]

fun fact

Shovels and pitchforks are also classified as “western silverware”