• Published 3rd Apr 2018
  • 2,056 Views, 140 Comments

Bamboozled again! - Theboxcatgamr



Ok I’m gonna make this as easy as possible for you. Bug thing stealing glowing cube is bad, I have rather poor aim with my gun, and now I’m on a bug hunt. Oh I’ll find her... and I will do it with the power of my birth right...BAMBOOZLEMENT!

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chapter 29: lesson zero minus Scootaloo is lesson negative-one that's quick maths

Author's Note:

I need help guys. E.T over here needs to phone home.

Should he stay or go? I don't know. But when he wakes up i can't really continue until we get him home or something.

Ok so I guess some random ass person from your guy's Side just decided to drop in. Uh ok I guess I'll say what happened after Scootaloo asked me to train her to pass the time?

Ok so basically Clyde and nightmare were called to do stuff while I had to give my daughter a crash course in the legion fighting style. I convinced rarity to create a set of training armour for scootaloo and she took to them with great pride. Eventually I managed to get a training dummy since a golem was too advanced for her and I asked her to show me what she could do. She hit the dummy over and over trying to defeat the foe. It wasn't working so I held her back and showed her a fighting technique that she could use with practice that I used to use as a child. It starts with a handstand (or hoof-stand. In her case) with your arms far enough apart and then you swing your legs backwards until they meet your hands, then you move your hands out of the way last second and vault yourself into the low part of your opponent via drop kick.

She managed to one-up me by using her wings to launch herself into the air and she made direct contact with the dummy's head launching it into the air all in one swift movement. Not exactly a legionnaire technique but it worked. The dummy hit the ground with a big thud and since Scootaloo couldn't fly yet I caught her and set her down with a giant smile on my face.

"THAT WAS AWSOME!"

"Yeah! Well done! Just need to work on that landing"

We didn't know it at the time but twilight was enchanting some doll for something...nefarious. After a few more minutes of practice I called it a day and went with Scootaloo to get some breakfast. While we went to sugarcube corrner for some muffins, all hell was breaking out in the park as the other two crusaders started to brawl over some enchanted doll that was made so poorly that if I shoved two chop-sticks up my ass and tied string to the ends of each chop-stick, I could make a better item by simply clenching and literally shiting out a christmas sweater without even trying and it would look absolutely fan-fucking-tastic compared to the doll. Sorry for the image but that's still my opinion.

Eventually this epidemic would spread and eventually a large majority of the town was brawling over a stupid toy. Eventually Applebloom entered the small bakery with a large crowd in pursuit, she looked unhinged. Scootaloo approached her clearly concerned about her friend.

Applebloom was muttering something and I can only assume it was something about her "precious" and how everyone was conspiring against her. Scootaloo put her hoof on her shoulder (or whatever the equine equivalent is) and before she could ask what was wrong, Applebloom collapsed. As it turns out she had been running non-stop for an hour to escape the mob. I picked up the doll and then suddenly the rest of the town faded as I took the doll. Luckily for me I had the power of ADHD on my side as the voices kicked in and we started arguing:

"you need it..."

"ITS SHIT"

"desire..."

"I desire you ;)"

"...YOU NEED-"

"-SOMEBODY TO LEEEEN OOOON"

"...what?"

"Not what. But who."

"who?"

"Not who. But when."

"when will you give in to your desires?"

"I will when you stop being a thot"

"YOU IDIOTIC CRITEN YOU WILL NEVER BE COMPLETE WITHOUT-!

"BE GONE, THOT!"

"YOU CANNOT SILENCE GREED YOU IMBECILE"

"YEET!"

I subconsciously tore the head off the doll and threw it at the wall very hard.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! YOU ARE MORE INSUFFERABLE THEN THAT CHANGLING QUEEN I DROVE TO-"

"YAAAAAAS QUEEN!"

I was hoping not to pull out those responses but sometimes the correct response is simply, to DUUURRRRR. The voice faded away and thanks to my intervention the spell was broken and everyone was confused as to why they were bruised and battered. They had no memory of the fight that took place and they went home completely oblivious.

Celestia appeared in the center of town and twilight was scared shitless about getting sent back to what she called "magic kindergarten". Celestia solved the problem and then twilight stopped freaking out when she learned she wasn't getting put back into school.

A few hours later Clyde and nightmare returned looking very distraught I asked them what was wrong and they simply walked past me and nightmare threw herself on the couch while Clyde made his way upstairs.

im back!
They don't have any crazy bread though

DAMMIT

...who is that?

Well someone from the other side decided to pop in and say hello...wasn't his fault though.

(sigh) that's the second one this week

Wait. He wasn't the first?

nah. Some guy named Tommy astryo dropped from the air and into the forest on Monday.He managed to save Applebloom from a few timberwolfs though after scaring the shit out of rainbow.

Wait isn't he that one Billy-mays rip off that used to be a wrestler? Where is he?

he was sleeping on a bench in the rain and i woke him up. He frantically tried to sell me something he called a kitchen gun since I was the most human thing he had seen in a few days.

...did you buy it?

yep. I managed to take him to the princesses and use that mirror from before to send him home.

Ok then. I'm going to do the same with this guy. In the meantime, could you tell them about that one time in the forest with those zambles?

ok fine. Just be back by dark

Ok scooby-doo door. TO THE THRONE ROOM

...ok then...

If anyone else comes here, could you bring some drinks? I have been drinking the same brand of whiskey for years.

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