Bamboozled again!

by Theboxcatgamr

chapter 6: now you gotta throw the whole town away

Author's Note:

"Murder is the fuel of everything"

-inspirobot.com

Ok so twilight decided to do experiments on me while I was sleeping, because hey! You know what sounds like a good idea? LITERAL MIND FUCKING MAGIC

Naturally twilight found some rather disturbing things and of course we can't forget the fact that she discovered memes.
For a moment I thought the universe would cry out in rage at this revelation but luckily she kinda forgot when she left my mind with a few stowaways, we only missed one of the things and so now somewhere in the world is a disembodied voice yelling EXTRA THICK but I'm getting ahead of myself, let's rewind to when shit went down.

Twilight had released four creatures and only one of them was friendly. You know that one voice in the back of your head that tells you stuff? Yeah he came out too and as it turns out all that time talking to my shadow wasn't for nothing! So you could imagine his shock when suddenly he wasn't just a voice. By the way despite being a part of me, he has a different voice. What's the most Irish accent you can think of? Yep that's him, so now that I could see him I decided to give him a name (via his request) and no I'm not going for some cliche name like Noah 2 or haon so I named him Clyde.
While me and Clyde where chatting twilight was running outside screaming something about the impossibility of the situation and with all three of us distracted, the other three stowaways left.

For the sanity of the others we ran after them with me taking the S-T-V magnet with me. So we discovered the first creature and it's safe to say it was quite frightening, imagine the majora's mask moon as the head of a clown covered blood.
Me and Clyde practically in sync as Clyde grabbed a large tree branch and clubbed the fucker, I hit it with the end of the gun and it stumbled back right into Clyde's stick also apparently Clyde can hit things so hard they explode.

we fought another one that had been taking some of the kids and putting it in a cage. He looked like a pirate and was muttering something under his breath. He dragged the cage full of children into the fucking everfree forest of all places with me and Clyde following close. Looking at him then you would notice he was armed to the teeth with swords and one of those flintlock pistols, as we closed in on the man a manticore made a power move and went after the cage only to be shot by the pirate. The fillies and colts started shouting at the man to let them go and before we could get after him, he started singing about all of the money he was going to make. Clyde was bored and seeing my expression mirrored his, he decided that anything was better then this off-key pirate. I was going to make a joke about him going to the shadow realm when he sank into the shadows but if he was anything like me then I knew the consequences of such a shitty joke.
there is a reason why my mixtape is a fate worse then death

Anyway by the time the man finally finished Clyde had already pulled the cage into the shadow realm the place he went. Clyde also brought something from home! It was basically a large bamboo staff that he had dubbed "the sick stick".
I asked why it was called that only for Clyde to leap out of the shadows and hit the poor guy right in the nads.
He promptly threw up and gave a good explanation for the name of Clyde's weapon. I took the opportunity to shoot the guy at point-blank range. Yep I still missed the shot, too bad for the pirate that Clyde didn't :3

As he went into the smoke like the clown did I asked Clyde where the kids were and he said all was good in the neighbourhood so I started to return to town only to trip on something blue. I got up and inspected it only for both me and Clyde to go wide eyed at what we just found. It was a scale of the absolute legend STEVE FUCKING MAGNET!

At the end of the day we got back to town to find the cage from earlier empty and embedded in the ground. I was so awestruck by the scale that I didn't ask Clyde what happened (and yes the kids are fine and acording to Clyde only one of them can shoot lasers out of her hoof...I wonder who?) me and Clyde just couldn't deal with twilight's shit right now so Clyde invited me into the place he called home. I was going to say something along the lines of what could possibly go wrong but I stopped myself because as usual, Murphy was hiding in the corrner just waiting for the magic words that let him fuck shit up so I just stayed quiet. With a flick of the wrist we slowly sank into the ground and I prepared myself for what was in store.

Comments

[SilverStarApple]

Liked, followed, and looking forward to more.

[Theboxcatgamr]

8860317
Thanks!

[rikusorasephiroth]

there is a reason why my mixtape is a fate worse then death

BHD?