• Member Since 20th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

HamGravy


Author of the Tarnished Silver series. I write clopfics with too many emotions in them. My work is very niche, but my readers are a wonderfully enthusiastic bunch, so I must be doing something right.

Sequels1

Comments ( 372 )

Hmm I always prefer Rarity in a submissive role personally but this is a well written story. :pinkiehappy: I'd be likely to read more to see how it develops...

928585
read the other stories about this
their in hams profile

This story intrigues me. :coolphoto:
I'm getting a very Starscream/Megatron vibe from Silver Spoon/Rarity. Part of me hopes the grey foal will plot to usurp power from Rarity, while still appealing sniveling and submissive on the surface.

I like Sweetie's portrayal...for the most part. I don't know, but for me there comes a point when a relationship with a sibling is damaged beyond repair. Sweetie and Rarity crossed that line and left it in the dust several miles back. I don't care how traumatized Sweetie Belle is. Unless this is a dystopian future with corrupt cops and Rarity's friends really are powerful enough to be untouched by the law, then Sweetie should go to the police as fast as she can.

I was never sold on Rarity's manipulation of Sweetie Belle. The mare's personality shifted from forcing her younger sister to call herself a filthy little whore to Rarity crying that she was scared for her life. My brain got character whiplash.
And yes, I understand that Rarity wasn't really scared, but merely manipulating the little filly. It just seems that in order for Sweetie to be fooled and go along with this plan, she must have the memory of a gold fish.

I hope I'm not coming off as too harsh. I really do love this premise and am eager to see what you do with it.

:pinkiesick: But it's just so well written I can't stop.

Oh, manipulation? Evil then nice then back to evil? This I like.

My biggest gripe with the first chapter is Rarity herself. I like complex villains who have rationalized in their own demented minds that their actions are pure and true. Simple sadists who twirl their mustaches and revel in their evilness never really excited me.

Now, with that being said, I did write a story called 120 Days of Blueblood. Here's how the sadistic prince talked to Sweetie Belle in that story:
"I told her that a commoner's solitary meaningful contribution to society was to provide pleasure to royalty.
...The filly asked if this sight pleased me. I replied that I was pleased and reassured her that she would soon be reunited with her father."
The promise of her imprisoned father being freed motivated the reluctant filly to comply with the prince's licentious demands. False hope is a sadist's greatest tool. When you take away hope and break their spirit, then the game is over.

You gave Rarity a bit of complexity by having her manipulate Sweetie Belle. I think that would be something to expand on in future chapters. Especially if the mare plans to groom her sister to follow in her horseshoes.

That was a double mind fuck I just read:pinkiehappy:I like

Poor Sweetie. The only way she can attempt to stop this abuse is from the inside, and to get there she will have to embrace and become the very thing she despises. By the time she gets there, she will be in so deep, it will be too late.

Rarity is clearly a master manipulator, and has Sweetie wraped around her hoof,
Hate my self for this but, Enjoying this series more than I should be.

Good kob sweetie bell you are going to give your sister a filly that even princess molestia wouldn't touch:rainbowlaugh:

But....
Twist is so adorable...
Molestia don't know what she talkin' 'bout.

I'm curious as to how Rarity will deal to Twist.

I don't want to say this considering the nature of this fic but MOAR! :flutterrage:

929673

Usurp power? In what twisted court? I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree. Rarity herself hardly possesses anything vaguely approximating a modicum of 'power'; to put it in perspective, she kidnaps and tortures foals. Silver Spoon is loyal to her because she fetishises her cruelty and Sweetie Belle is dumbpony supreme. She doesn't even have any real psychological power beyond Sweetie Belle, and there is nothing in the excuse for a relationship she shares with Silver Spoon that could possibly provide any sort of structure for anything providing even a slight resemblance to 'usurpation of power'.

The only real parts in their little psychodrama are Rarity, Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon, and Hamgravy has done a brilliant job of characterising their relations: Sweetie Belle has only disgust for Silver Spoon, Silver Spoon has only apathy for Sweetie Belle and Rarity has only lust for both. Besides Sweetie Belle and her boutique, Rarity has nothing; whatever fear she instils in anyone other than Sweetie Belle is scalar.

She is a terrorist of foals, no more, and it is impossible to usurp the position of the positionless.

929693
I'm gonna have to object here. I do understand what you're saying, but having grown up with a manipulative sibling, I really understand the shift that happened here. My little brother is a sociopath, a dealer, often acts as hired muscle for street gangs, and I would be surprised if he's never killed anyone. That being said, if he came to me and said "Grimm, I need help" I would be there in a moment. He has a way of making people believe he's turning around, then disappearing with the money he needed for "rehab" or "therapy" and we don't hear from him again til he needs his next fix.
No matter how often he does this, he's still my little brother. My entire life was spent looking out for him, protecting him, trying to teach him how to be a gentleman, shielding him from pain, and that bond is impossible to ignore. We don't speak anymore but if he came to me and appealed to me the way Rarity did to Sweetie Belle I wouldn't even hesitate to do what he asked. The phrase "I need help" sparks a big-brother instinct that I just can't ignore.
I found that little shift very believable, having lived through it a thousand times. Little Grimm can be a thug and a thief one minute, threatening to have his friends kill me, and the next beg for my protection, and as long as he *sounds* sincere it works. I'm not a sucker, I'd never fall for it if it wasn't him, but it IS him, he's my brother, so I keep believing he truly wants to change. That hope is what ties families together even in the darkest times, no matter what they've done to you. And the first time that manipulation truly manifests, you can't stand up to it. It's all over.

This chapter was absolutely heartbreaking, on a completely different note. I'm not gonna lie, I did cry manly tears of manliness. :fluttercry:

947324
I guess I can't relate, being the oldest child who has a great relationship with his siblings. :duck:

I will concede that the characterizations in the story are well done, they just weren't what I was anticipating. I do apologize if I was overly-critical. I shouldn't judge a story because it isn't told the way I would do it. :twilightblush:

I really don't want to discourage HamGravy. I can tell this sick story is a labor of love and he should continue it!

947324
Thank you so much for sharing that with us. Seriously, it must not have been easy. Respect. :pinkiesmile:

I went into this chapter worried that I might get the sibling relationship wrong; I've never had a problem of that magnitude with my own siblings so it's outside of my experience. But the idea of the family bond surpassing all logic is something I can definitely understand, so I wrote from that. I'm glad you found it believable. Again, thank you.

947752
No worries, I'm not discouraged. It'll take more than that to stop me. :rainbowdetermined2: Constructive criticism is always appreciated. Thanks for commenting.

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Never have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded perversity... have you ever considered a career in the Church!?

Comment posted by GrimmCantata deleted Dec 15th, 2014

You're a monster.
A magnificent monster.

:unsuresweetie: It's really well written, I look forward to more.

Never been a huge fan of stories where a young colt is molested and begs for it to stop, only to pull a 180 and beg for it to continue, then come full circle and begs for it to stop again once the secret butt fun starts. I thought it all worked except for him begging for it to continue. The first and last of the chapter were bookended with fear and pain. I fell that it might have been stronger in the middle if his body was enjoying it, but he wasn't enjoying it mentally. Sort of a 'his own body betrays him' vibe. You explore the internal struggle of him thinking he's a bad colt for getting aroused and the molester could confirm this by saying only naughty colts get turned on. It starts to feel good, but he can't bring himself to admit it.

Good story, though. Keep going! (I personally can't wait to see how the other adults are portrayed.)

Your depravity...it feels so good on my body :pinkiecrazy: :heart:

I'm fairly sure that if I were able to like an individual chapter, I would.

Unfortunately, all that I can offer is a comment and the stifling of my grammatically-pedantic tongue.

Van

You can't imagine the light in my eyes when I saw this got another chapter.

Why am I liking this? Its good, but I simply can't comprehend what makes me read on.

i feel horrid for this, but i love it!

I just came
here to say I just started reading fanfics / clopfics, and would never imagine liking to read something of this "grimdark" genre...
But this is just so damn well-written... before long I had read this series from the starting point and up to this chapter. Kudos.:yay:

Well, Rarity certainly works fast, she already has her hooks deep into Twist

You are building up to something quite well

:fluttershyouch: I'm ashamed to say it but NEW CHAPTER!!!!!:pinkiegasp::rainbowkiss::scootangel::raritystarry::twilightblush:

i fell horrid for lovin every moment of this

1027460
You shouldn't. The draw of a well-written character-based story, regardless of content, tends to be natural. This particular piece, while telling and endorsing perversity and deviant behaviors, is still exceedingly well-done in terms of psychology and character interactions.

The gritty feel that the story has only adds to that allure.

Not to mention the definitively forbidden nature of the piece; it has a draw from that all on its own, you know?

It really is quite despicable.

1029463
So basically you say that this is written as a incentive to the perverseness of breaking taboo, right?

I'm going to take a stab at what's going to happen next. Spike's going to find out about the forged letter and try to ask Sweetie Belle what happened. She'll be uncooperative in answering his questions for obvious reasons. Which will cause him to become suspicious of what happened at Rarity's. He'll decide to stake out Carousel Boutique on his own and find Peppermint Twist on her way to the "fashion show". He'll tell her about the note and Twist will ask Rarity what's going on. Rarity will do her thing, namely lie and manipulate her way into convincing Twist that Spike is lying. With no actual proof of any wrongdoing, Twist will immediately take Rarity's side and Spike will continue to argue that something seems off. Twist will then say something hurtful. Unable to convince Twist to leave with him and emotionally hurt, Spike will give up leaving Twist to her fate. Rarity may also try to draw Spike in but I'm not so sure about that part.

That's as far as my guesswork goes.

Anyway, I love this story. Keep up the good work.

1031223
No. You missed the point entirely.

1031651
no i understand it perfectly, i just love to sound like a smart dumbass

1035115
*applauds* In which case, you succeeded admirably. :moustache:

929693

This has 0 to do with the story but you remind me of Sherlock Holmes

Van

It just keeps getting better.

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