• Member Since 1st Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

rillegas08


MLP helped me find my muse in Oct. 2014 after 6 years without it. I have a Psychology B.S. Sunset Shimmer is best pony.

T
Source

There exists a desolate land where nothing survives for long on the surface. Life can only exist below the surface, where thousands of years ago, creatures known as procubi have created thriving civilizations. Those with horns lead those without; those with wings guard and fight for those without; those without either serve those with; and all are under the command of those with both.

Four matriarchs lead the Femescubi, creatures of beauty, grace, and machinations. One patriarch leads the Mascubi, creatures of strength, power, and wit. Conflict had driven the two apart long ago, yet they still convene together regularly before returning to their respective abodes. Past and present conflicts within each trouble the balance they've developed, threatening their way of life for better or for worse.

Image is by Audrarius on inkbunny.net. Sex tag for brief nudity and sensuous outfits.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 18 )

wouldn't femescubi be succubus and manscubi be incubus?

9223231
That is correct.

9223231
9223248

I actually used those terms on purpose for a couple reasons. The words "succubus" and "incubus" have such a relationship with sexuality in our world, and while the characters in this fic do have a culture that's more sexually open than ours, I wanted words without such extreme connotations. By creating my own terms, I also avoided any possible confusion with why "succubus" and "incubus" exist in an Equestrian-like world where Greco-Roman culture didn't quite have the same impact as it did in our world.

I'm intrigued by this.

9223251
Okay, but you aren't actually making new terms, are you? They're clearly derived from succubus/incubus, which is why we're having this conversation in the first place. Changing the race names to something completely different - djinn/ifrit, devil/demon, or something completely new - would prevent more questions along these lines. I guarantee someone else is going to ask about this at least once.

Seems interesting, by the way. I'll be keeping an eye on this. ☺

9223645
Yes, I did use succubus and incubus as inspirations for my new words. It's kind of like the Equestria Girls, who aren't quite humans though they have a lot in common. You do bring up a good point, though, one I hadn't considered before.

Ri2

...Huh. Okay, this could use a little editing, but...I am very much intrigued. What happened to the surface to ruin it so?

And can poor Hellfire and Midnight ever have snu-snu again?

9224143
Stay tuned. There's a lot in store I have yet to reveal :raritywink:

I thought I'd edited it well, but then again I did start working on it months ago, forgot about it, and spruced it up a bit the same day I published it. What did you find that needed work?

9223231
9223248
Actually, I just remembered the real reason I created new terms instead of using the traditional ones. In the original language, "succubus" means "one who lies beneath" and "incubus" means "one who lies above". The context is who takes on the submissive and who takes on the dominant roles during intercourse, and back then gender roles were pretty set with women taking the submissive and men taking the dominant. I wanted more neutral terms, since I planned both the Femescubi and Mascubi to be fighting for dominance, one of the reasons they're in separate communes.

Ri2

9225008
Wow, I did not know that! Huh, the things you learn.

Ri2

9224978

Hellfire's own expression softens in response with memories of .

Also, is 'viscose' a real word? And it feels like you said Twilight can't sleep on her back more than once.

9225240
Ah, that was one of the things I added quickly. I'd intended to finish it, but I guess I forgot. It's fixed now.

The repetition does exist, and it's a running literary tactic I've used throughout this chapter, such as the "There is no ___ in this wasteland", as well as lines preceding each that includes a contrasting imagery.

And yes, viscose is a real word, chosen for a specific reason I'll reveal in a later chapter. It refers to a solution made from treating cellulose, and fabric can be made from it. Though looking into it, the treated fabric is actually called "rayon". I should probably fix that too.

Thanks for the input!

Ri2

9225401
Ah, okay.

Also, that's a VERY pretty cover.

So we have gotten our looks at the Rainbow, Pinkie, and Rarity of this universe. Extinction sounds like a bitch, for what she did to Hellfire.

I wonder how this universes Shining Armor reacts to everyone? By bet he sleeps with most of them.

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