Split personality???! AAAAWWWWW YYYEEEAAAHHHHH!!!

Umm this si way too fast and rushed i didnt care for it.
the first chapter was ten time better then this chapter.

“Why not?” She shrugged and he said “You know Grandma said you need to get it checked out monthly to make sure you aren’t breaking the spell.”

Twilight laughed and said “Spike I don’t plan on having sex with anyone. If I become active again I’ll start getting the spell cast on me again."

How much you wanna bet that Luna is now with child? I guess Twilight was never a filly scout. Otherwise, she would have remembered the motto "Always Be Prepared.'

8270761
Well, to be fair, this was just the series premiere so no need to rewrite it.

So any mare goes bad becomes many of Twilight Dusk Sparkle's bitches.

I can't wait to see what happens next keep up the good work update more soon

Christ, where would I begin? The pacing is really fast, it's more telling than showing, the lack of proper punctuation is murder, the characters don't talk anywhere close to real people (they overstate things, give unnecessary descriptions of what they're doing, etc. It's that they are all doing those things that makes it not ok.).

I do think this could be a good story, but I seriously suggest getting an experienced editor.

Is it dead, Jim?? Or just in a coma??

When is the next chapter going to be up, and ready to read. Its been like 2 freaking years now.

Why are your characters so emotionless? Is that how dialogue sounds in your head, or is the cardboard cutout thing on purpose, or what? Lustful scenes should avoid the “L” word:(

good story so far but I check your story list and saw your haven't updated any of your stories in a while.

you still posting?

Please update

More good

Interesting story...

Sadly it looks pretty dead :(

Hope there's more to come.