The Queen Under the Mountain
Her first thought was that the throne room was quiet. The first step she took inside made her feel like an intruder crossing the threshold of sanctuary, readying to tear it down. The words Fluttershy had whispered still rang in her head.
“A pony soul isn’t strong enough to cross the barrier alone. It takes at least a pony soul…and a monster soul. If you want to go home… You’ll have to take her soul. You’ll have to kill LUNA.”
But Twilight refused to give up. Taking a deep breath, she marshalled her Determination. A sense of calm filled her, but no reassuring voice accompanied it. Sunset had fallen silent.
Silently looking around, she was surprised by what she found. Though the silver black throne at its centre clearly marked it as the throne room, the blanket of golden flowers that carpeted the floor would have been far more at home in a greenhouse than the courts of the pony royalty up above.
A tall figure entered the garden, gasping Twilight darted back behind the safety of the door.
Building up her courage, she nervously peeked around the doorframe. The faerie inside did not see her. Instead she knelt among the flowers with her back to Twilight carefully tending to the delicate flowers.
For a moment Twilight considered running away, back to the safety of the friends she had made. Maybe, if she waited there long enough, the door to the Ruins might open for her again.
*There is no other way forward,* her Other told her quietly. *You know this. And you made a promise.*
Twilight bit her lip. For a brief moment she shuffled her hooves unsure. Then the images of those who were counting on her appeared behind her eyes. She could feel their wishes for her, the belief that she could succeed, their hopes and dream. Just as Rainbow had said.
She could see them before her now. Starlight's wry smile. Trixie's endless trusting belief. Rainbow's courage and faith. Fluttershy's cautious hope.
The pained look in her new mother's eyes as she had forced her to let her leave.
She shook her head and the images vanished. It was too late to turn back now. Too many ponies, too many MONSTERS, were counting on her.
She forced her hooves to take one more step forward.
A twig cracked, deafeningly loud in the tension of her own silent thoughts.
*She had to have heard that!*
The dark figure kneeling in front of the throne did not turn around. Only the unnatural quirk of her canine-like ear gave any sign she had heard. Even as Twilight held her breath she stayed hunched over, focused with laser-like determination on her task.
Twilight took another step closer. Words quieter than a whisper reached her ears.
"Minuette. Lemon Hearts."
She frowned. ‘What could it possibly mean?’
"Lyra. Bon Bon."
An old rusted watering can, tired and leaking from overuse, steadily poured water over the patch of golden flowers just in front of the throne. Heavy droplets of water bent leaves and stems as they fell weighing down the delicate plants until finally they hit the floor nurturing the soil beneath. Others, saltier than the rest, fell unnoticed down the face of the Queen.
Twilight felt her breath catch as a strange emotion welled in her throat. She had come so far. Had sacrificed so much. Had fought so hard. Preparing to finally face the true villain of her tale.
*I guess you weren’t expecting this?*
"Twinkleshine."
Her mind made up, Twilight reached out her hoof to touch the Queen's shoulder. The hand holding the watering can began to shake.
A strained voice broke the silence, stopping her short. "Please. Just one moment. I-I need to finish this."
The last name tumbled from her lips, barely more than a muffled sob.
"Moondancer."
Her hand still shaking, the Queen poured out the last of the water. Brushing off the leaves from her white gown, she frowned at the stains with her one working eye. The other stared blankly at Twilight, its colour a blank milky white.
The other, a deep blue finally looked up to meet her gaze as the cyan magic of the Queen carefully reset her obsidian crown back upon her head. As Twilight watched the carefully maintained façade slipped seamlessly back into place.
"So, my little Monster. How can I..?"
Their eyes locked. The Queen flinched first.
Breaking their gaze, she glanced back towards the far door, searching for an exit. For a moment, her gaze drifted over to the window, her starry wings flaring in trepidation.
The moment passed. Her neck snapped back sharply to face Twilight her eyes fully meeting Twilight’s own for the first time, refusing to shy away. Her façade was no longer seamless however; the veneer had cracked.
When she finally spoke her remaining eye softened in resigned acceptance. "So you have finally come."
Twilight could only nod.
"I wish you had not." The Queen stated bluntly.
Twilight blinked in confusion. "Why not? You have six souls. You only need mine to break the barrier. Isn't this what monsters have been dreaming about for generations? To be free?" Her voice cracked with doubt. “…Why wouldn’t you want that?”
Luna Dreemurr sighed heavily. "I wish you were not so young. It only makes things harder. But you deserve an explanation. To put it simply, I wish you had not come because now you have left me no option but to fight you."
"I…I don't understand."
Luna Dreemurr sighed. "Whilst you had not yet appeared before me, whilst you were still a rumour beloved by all who had seen you, I could pretend ignorance. I could afford to pretend that there was no pony. Now that I have seen you here before my eyes, in the heart of my power…I cannot pretend otherwise. To do so would betray not only the promise I made to my people but the one I made
to myself. The one I made to THEM."
'Them?'
*The other souls. Lulu always was an honourable idiot.*
'Honourable, huh?'
*What are you thinking?*
Twilight projected the thought; a page from one of the few non-snail related books from Celestia’s bookcase.
*That...might just work.*
"But what about my wish?"
The Queen blinked. "Your what?"
"My wish. The Faerie code states that those who perform a service without bargain or motive should be granted a boon in turn."
The Queen's eyes lit with a strange glint. Slowly a small smile crept over her features as her mind calculated the possibilities.
"You are indeed a clever child. And correct. Very well small one. You have done a great service for my people this day, and after our battle your soul shall perform another. Tell me your boon and I shall grant it if it is within my power. No matter what it is you ask of me."
Twilight weighed her options. As the seconds dragged the cautious smile on the Queen’s face began to show strain.
*What are you waiting for?!* Sunset exclaimed angrily from inside her mind. *She just gave you a get of jail free card! Hell, she WANTS you to take it! Just up and save humanity already!*
'I'm thinking'
Sunset became subdued. *…You do want to go home, don’t you? See your baby brother again? You don't have to feel guilty. The Underground is a hell of a lot more hopeful than it was before you came. You don’t owe anyone anything else. You never did.*
In her mind her Other shrugged, smirking to hide the worry Twilight knew they were hiding beneath the bravado. *Who knows, maybe you can do more from the surface. You only need to persuade six other humans to come help you break the barrier. It’s a better chance than Cadance and I ever had. Take it.”*
'That's not what I want.'
*Then what do you want?!*
‘The Truth.’
Twilight turned to the waiting monarch. "I’ve decided what I want. I want to understand. I want to understand you. Why you did this.”
*You’re a fool Sparkle. …But at least you’re a kind one.*
The weight fell back onto Luna Dreemurr’s shoulders, somehow even heavier than before. "You are sure of this? You understand what you are asking? What you are giving up? This will not buy you freedom or safety. If you choose this, once my tale is through we still must fight. Do you accept these terms?"
Twilight nodded. With confidence she did not fully feel she threw a cheeky grin at Luna. “I guess I'll just have to try and change your mind,” she said flashing a smile.
The Queen sighed heavily. Very well. Follow me."
Without another word she twisted sharply on her heel, leading Twilight past the golden throne in the corner, half hidden by a dusty sheet, and through the door beside it. In the next room she turned right, marching down the corridor in strides so long Twilight struggled to keep up.
At the door at the end of the hall she paused. “Beyond this door is the barrier. After my tale is through it is also where we will battle. Any damage inflicted inside will be absorbed by the mystical properties of the barrier and not damage the rock formations that support the structure of the Underground. It is also where I will impart to you my sorry tale,” she looked back at Twilight. “Are you prepared?”
The small lavender pony nodded firmly. “For whatever you can throw at me.”
For a moment Luna’s eyes glazed over with something close to memory. Then, with a sharp nod of her own she stepped through the door. Twilight paused, took a deep breath, then followed.
When she entered, the Queen was already staring into the barrier. "I was born the younger of two twins,” she said quietly. “We came into this world on the day the surface was closed to us forever. She as the Sun set, and I as the Moon broke over the horizon. My mother created us for our people, a sign of hope, a promise that the surface would not be lost to us forever. It was a promise she could not keep. In despair at her failure she fell down not long after I reached maturity.
Upon her death, my sister and I decided upon a joint rule, having seen what bearing the weight the crown alone had done to our mother. It was a wise decision. For many centuries we brought hope to the underground, each of us balancing and supporting the other. In time we even grew content.
Such was our peace and joy that we decided together to bring another Faerie into the world. It was not an easy task. Without access to the root of our concepts the magic needed took many years to gather. But when finally we saw her, saw who and what she was meant to be, everything was worth it.
We named her Cadenza for the song she brought to our hearts, but we both knew her true aspect. Love.
When the pony child fell I was cautious, but soon I knew she had brought us something just as precious. Hope.
For the first time since the war ponies and monsters were living together in harmony. It finally seemed like peace was actually possible. The old wounds of our past were finally beginning to heal. Everything was perfect.
That was when it all went wrong.
We woke one day to find the human, to find Sunset, coughing up blood. No one could figure out what was wrong. We tried everything: magic, herbs, what little we could recall of human science.” She shook her head. “In our desperation we even turned to Starswirl’s determination experiments for a cure.” “…It all failed. By the time the Sun up above had set, she was dead.”
“What happened then?” Twilght asked quietly.
“Something even worse.” Luna answered sadly, a dull tone of misery in her voice. “When Sunset died something in me broke. In that moment I could no longer bear to be around the living, to be reminded of what I had lost. So I came here.” She gestured at Twilight with an inky wing. “I stood right where you are standing now. Staring into the walls of this cursed prison for hours. Neither words nor hunger could rouse me. I was lost.”
A glint of madness lit her eyes. “You know, pony. I can’t remember if I saw her leave. I think I should have. I think maybe I did. But then I think I would have stopped her. I should have stopped her. But I only saw her later. You were shining through the barrier then, a far off light none of us could ever reach. Then she stumbled through the barrier. My last child. Riddled with arrows and halfway to dust.”
She looked at Twilight, meeting her gaze eyes clear. “In that moment, I realised a vital truth about myself: I had the capacity to hate. I hated humanity. I wanted them to suffer, to die. Just as Cadance had. Just as Sunset had. I didn’t care about peace anymore. I didn’t care about our freedom. I just wanted revenge.”
“Celestia fought against it of course. Her grief had turned to sorrow, not rage. It made her weak.” Luna winced, then pressed on, a tone of old long stored anger in her voice. “She wanted to show them mercy. Treat every human who fell here exactly how we had treated the first regardless of their guilt. She wanted us to throw away any chance of freedom, of justice, all for the misguided belief that the race who had trapped us all down here, who had killed our child, weren’t innately evil. She was right. But I refused.”
“With that one action I shattered everything. The peace we had spent so long cultivating, the nation we had given everything to build of our people, even the bond between sisters. The Underground fell apart, driven into warring factions. Families and friends were driven apart by despair and grief. Civil war looked inevitable.”
“That was when I saw what I had done. In my efforts to protect myself, to shield away my heart, my conscience, I had only brought more suffering. By that point there was only one way out. A duel to the death. Single combat to save what little of our Kingdom remained. Celestia agreed. We fought here by the barrier, each of us unwilling to yield. Each of us prepared to die for what we believed in. Mercy or Survival. Imprisonment or Freedom. That was where I got this.”
She gestured to her blank eye, the crusted skin surrounding it clearer now Twilight looked closer. Luna Dreemurr shrugged at the concern on Twilight’s face for a battle centuries gone. “She won rather easily after that. It’s rather hard to aim when your depth perception’s shot.” She took a heavy breath, the mirth slipping from her face. “When it was over she stood over me with her blade trained at my throat. For those few seconds she held my life in her hands. It felt like hours. Part of me wanted to curse her weakness for not just ending it. But she didn’t. Instead she turned and fled, her tears staining the hallway. I never saw her again.”
Luna glanced away. “After that… After that I HAD to follow through. I...We had done too much not to. Our world had almost torn itself apart and in my soul I knew it was my fault. So I took the blame. I took the weight of what needed to be done onto my shoulders and I did what I had to do. I killed them all.”
Twilight stared at her unbelieving. “But…but why would you DO that?”
“Because it was what needed to be done. When my people finally reach the surface, there will be no blood on their hands. Only mine. And I will answer for that. I made my peace with that a long time ago. No one else but me will suffer for our freedom.”
“No one else but me.”
Luna winced. “There is no other way,” she said softly. “I tried.” A false tone of flippancy rose in her voice. “Still, perhaps you will defeat me. Deep down I always hope they do. With my soul you can pass through the barrier and see the surface again. It would be a better end than I deserve.” Her remaining eye fixed on Twilight. “Still, it would be a mercy. I do not know if I can carry another death on my conscience.”
A faraway look passed over her features as she looked back to the barrier, somehow seeming to see through it now. “I can feel the surface calling out to them, welcoming them home. I doubt the Moon would even recognise me anymore. I have never seen it but through this barrier, and it has never looked back. Perhaps that is for the best. I would not wish such a corrupted avatar upon any aspect, much less my own.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.” Twilight argued quietly.
“I am afraid it is young one.” The faerie forced a smile. “Besides, you should not waste your pity on me child. I am far from deserving of your mercy.” A brittle laugh escaped her throat. “What cruel irony that I was the villain all along.”
“You can still be a good person.” Twilight said passionately.
The Queen’s smile grew sad. “That ship sailed away the day my sister left.”
"You don't have to do this.”
“Yes, I do.”
*Please*
"Nopony should have to kill!"
"No they shouldn't. But I am not a pony. And I made a promise."
Twilight felt her soul begin to pull out from her body as the lines of battle were drawn out before her. “I’m going to save you.”
The Queen’s eyes grew wet. "I will remember you Twilight Sparkle. I promise."
Twilight felt her MERCY button shatter before she saw it. Her fear began to spike as she realised what she had lost.
*You can still save them all*
The soft light of her namesake shone a strange light through the barrier filling the room.
*You can still save her*
She was filled with DETERMINATION.
*You can save everyone*
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- D Historian · 1.3k words · 43 8 · 1.8k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.101 seconds
Total duration
740 users online
966,254 hits today, 2,167,270 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Graceful writting as always
Once again putting your own finessed tweak that makes it stand out from the crowd
You know, when I first saw this story I thought it'd be longer. How do you pronounce bergentrückönigin?
Really nice story, I got an bit confused about what happened to Cadence but it's a good story
8111807 I'm thinking of expanding it into the entire journey through the underground if you'd be interested in seeing more of this world?
Had to look it up to check but it's pronounced. Bergen (like the city)- tru (like the beginning of truck)-kong (like king kong)-in
Ber-gen-tru-kong-in
Hope that helps!
Anything you particularly enjoyed?
8112936 Ah it is left a little unclear, particularly if you aren't familiar with the source material. But, put basically, after Sunset died Cadance absorbed her soul (as human souls stay after death and provide massive boosts in power for monsters) and passed through the barrier.
The basic mechanics of the barrier are that you need to have the equivalent of at least one human and one monster soul to pass through it and the equivalent of seven human souls to break it. Cadance went through the barrier with Sunset's body essentially to lay her to rest on the surface. However whist doing so she was attacked by the humans of of the village above who assumed she had killed Sunset.
Cadance refused to fight back despite being super powerful so by the time she got back to the underground she was already mortally wounded.
I hope that makes sense.
The original is explained much more eloquently here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B4YWmdA_1c
Would you be interested in seeing an expansion of this? Essentially Twilight traveling the Underground from beginning to end and meeting more characters and expanding on some of the stuff I couldn't touch on here?
Either way I'm glad you enjoyed this and any particular favorite things or criticisms would be highly appreciated.
the name of the story isnt even a word
8131036 It's a close spelling to Asgore's theme song name.
If you're looking for advice- particularly things to improve on if you expand this- the first thing that comes to mind for me is taking a good look at why you're writing a crossover. Is it to tell a story about Undertale that's publishable in ponydom? Well... okay. There's nothing wrong with doing a character swap and calling it a day. But when you've got two works that are so thematically similar, it almost seems a shame not to do more. Like, why not do something relating Cutie Marks and Souls? Maybe it should be the Elements of Harmony that are needed to break the barrier, not seven generic pony souls? Why generic monsters and not, say, batponies or changelings? Or how about making use of the mountain of similarities between Flowey and Starlight? Basically, think big and pull ideas from both works, not just one.
An added benefit to clearly doing your own thing is that when an author sticks very closely to the canon of one work, but then breaks it, it's difficult to tell if they did so deliberately or just weren't familiar enough with the work in the first place. Once you deliberately blur the lines a little more, it greatly increases the amount of small stuff you can change without risking bothering purists.
Either way, if doing an expansion sounds like fun, do it for yourself if nothing else. There's my two cents.
8136108 ?
8136543 look up Asgore's theme on YouTube and you'll see
8136867 i wont be spammed with shitty content and mincraft vids in my suggested videos right?
8137379 You shouldn't be
8136532 Thank you for your comment. It's rare I get one so interesting and insightful.
I think the closeness mainly came from the face I was focussing almost entirely on the Dreemurrs/Princesses particuarly Luna in the role of Asgore as it seemed to fit so well. It's something I definitely want to rectify when I expand the world though.
I wanted the basic premise to be fairly intuitive, and keeping at least the basics fairly simple worked well for that I hope.
The main reason I didn't have the elements as a tool is that, as well as being a fairly large part of most of my other works, is that I wanted several of the elements to fill different roles in the story, primarily as the friends Twilight makes along the way. And (since I'm assuming you know the game at least fairly well) there is a point where something like that can take place.
Since there are so many different types of monsters it felt a little confining to use the ones from the show, particularly where races and personalities didn't mesh with my ideas. I do however plan to at least try to include some of them and have several other ideas for expanding the lore behind the types mentioned here and adding others, particularly drawing from mythological creatures; for example, Rainbow as a harpy
and Faeries as extensions of their aspects. 
Hmm can't say I saw those two being similar. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. Personally I chose Cadance because of the dichotomy it represented. Of course you don't see Buttercup (Flowey) here but they are quite a different character, even from the original.
TLDR:
To sum up. I definitely see your point. Partly down to my close focus and one shot confinements. Would love to hear more, especially about the Flowey/Starlight links. If you wanted to take an early look at the first few sections of the wider fic and give me your thoughts I certainly wouldn't.
Thanks a million for your awesome comment.
8131036 You've already got an answer but to sum in brief.
Asgore's theme music from the game is called Bergentrückong. Literally it translates to "King Under the Mountain".
So, considering Luna is a Queen rather than a King I did a little tweaking and combined the two to make it "Queen Under the Mountain", aka Bergentrückönigin.
Hope that answers your question.
8137875 but still i know german and even the original is not a word even in old german or the various dialects
8137864 With respect to the premise being intuitive... it is if you're familiar with Undertale, but familiarity with pony doesn't really help all that much. It's more or less a see-what-happens revolving around the climax of one work. Simply being longer is the best way to deal with this, since you can build up to the climax yourself rather than relying on imported drama, but helping the audience feel that the world's familiar is also a big step. Hence why I suggested using FiM monsters: yeah, both pony and Undertale are fantastic worlds where you very much could see a harpy or faerie, but they don't have pony written all over them. Recasting characters is fine, but it creates a weird situation where the audience doesn't know whether to think of, say, Cadence as Asriel or Cadence. Without some sort of familiar reference points, it becomes really easy for the audience to become ungrounded, since they have conflicting ideas of what everyone's like and can never get a feel for what's what. Again, that eases up naturally as you go longer and have character development, but there are definitely things you can do to help it on its way.
Flowey and Starlight: both appear as the villain at the very start (of the game/season five), then stalk the hero very creepily until coming back as the villain at the end. Both of them are time travelers who try to erase timelines to prevent the protagonist from making their group of friends. Both are obsessed with stealing Cutie Marks/Souls. Both count jealousy and loneliness among their motivations, and have a chip on their shoulder due to losing their childhood best friend. Both are completely adorable when they're not terrifying. And, of course, both are completely unstoppable outside of friendship and hugs.
Toss me a PM if you want me to look at something, be it chapters or outlines. I'm pretty busy so I can't promise any semblance of speed, but I'd be happy to give it a shot.
Honestly, even though I love both things this is crossed with I don't know if there's enough for a full review so I'm gonna leave a written one here.
Honestly how everything is presented is confusing, some things are rather Straight forward like Twi being Frisk and Sunset being Chara. But others are kinda Confusing and hard to pick up on right away. Like for example till about half way through I thought this was human Twilight. And I'm still not entirely sure what type of monster Luna was. A Female Goat monster? But you mentioned the Fae so that added to the confusion greatly.
I think something to help sort things out would be a rewritten version of the games opening legend to help set the scene before jumping into it.
I'm sorry for taking so long to get back to you on this and the other story the solar steward you sent in so long ago. the reason I bring this up now is I'm seeing a lot of things I noticed in that story here as well. A lot of drawn out exposition with little else. But in this story, it can be forgiven... or at least excused more since this is such a short story.
8167196 Thanks for your review. Yeah looking back I see how some people could get confused. This was halfway to being a more fully fleshed out story with a wider universe and plot with all the time travel complexity and shenanigans that implies. (as implied by Sunset's
)
I'm going to take your advice and add an adapted version of the opening. Hopefully this will clear up most of the confusion.
Here's the video i did about your fic
this is pretty neat, but you are definately wrong here OP.
Twilight sparkle is made for the asriel role