Nightmare Moon survives the Elements' power and takes Twilight as her prisoner. Now, the alicorn queen must establish her monarchy and defend her rightful place as queen against those that oppose her.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hey guys as I said in the fic this is my first one so don't be gentle If ya like it tell me! Maybe it'll boost my ego. If not tell me what's wrong and I'll do my darndest to fix it. Happy reading!
I like it.
Hehe thank you . I plan on pumping out more and given a few chapters start working on the shipping. It wont come out full force right then but It'll be alluded to.
I feel like I've read this before... was this posted elsewhere before this? Also, I always love these fics. Can't wait to see what happens next.
is this going to be a twimare moon fanfic? if so....awesome!
Awwww nice. But I hope she'll be nice to Twilight... well, mostly nice... she wants her to be minion, not slave, right? RIGHT?
Hmmmmmmmmmm shall have to see were this goes but liking the basic plot am interested to see what you do with it
Hmm... Interesting. Poor Twilight though
Seems interesting, though having Nightmare Moon not be defeated needs some explaining (and the only way it could really work would be for her to evade, after all the reason they work is they bring overwhelming power to bear).
47961
Plot seems to be a Nightmares Don't Last Forever clone.
Somepony is inspired by Nightmares Don't Last Forever. As long as it's not an exact copy I'm okay with this. We can never have too much TwiNightmare after all. Update soon though. also I hate Cliffhangers DX
I wouldn't call this a cloe of Nightmares don't last Forever at all. Not only does the tone different so is Nightmare I can't really see this Nightmare engaging in playfull banter or teasing Twilight nor do I see her being benevilent rule by any definition.
As for her blocking the Eliments of harmony really I can see it happening she had nothing BUT time to come up with a way to block the attack that stopped her before. Also it's not like she could spam that sheild of hers, had twilight and the rest fired another shot, (Witch they probly could have done.) they would have most likely won. Hell I'm kinda surprized that Cannon Nightmare didn't have SOMETHING to that effect. You would think that with all the time she was imprisioned she would have spent atleast some of it trying to figure out where she went wrong and how to fix things when she broke free. Discord gets a bit of a pass as I can't see him composing much less commiting to and exicuting any kind of long term plan. Though I'll admit the Q shout outs may be mudding my judgement there.
48311
The reason I do not see blocking them as a possiblity is the Elements of Harmony are defined as being the most powerful force in the world. As such it works out better to find a way other than just saying a shield spell was used, particularly if the story is to have a more serious tone.
That's a far point, and I'll be the first to admit that I know little about warfar, physics, and (for lack of a better term) energy manipulation for some reason I can see the Elements of Harmony being overcome as a definat possiblity through proper application of force. For all the good they do the elements seem to work akin to a sledge hammer, so perhaps with the right knowhow one could find a way to dampen or redirect the force of impact thus weakening the blast enough that a second barrer could protect you from them. Though really this is just me talking out of my plot here so take my ramblings with a few bags of salt.
HEY! I love the story!
There were a few times you repeated a word and forgot a word plus the occasional misspelling, but it was still great. Can't wait to read the next one! bai-bai!
I do not intend for this to be like Nightmares Don't Last Forever.
@NinjaNin I love Moonlight ships and there just aren't enough of them. The only thing I don't like about Nightmares Don't Last Forever is that NMM isn't NMM any longer, she just looks like her because the Elements didn't revert her form back to Luna. That's DEFINITELY Luna under all that. I do love the fic though
@janushyde Trust me NMM will NOT be playing around with twi.
@everypony There will be an explanation for the Elements being resisted. The shield is just just a basic counter measure. Main alicorn defense or so I've noticed from the 48752685962 fics I've read.
@Wolflover you'll just hafta wait and find out won't ya
@Jeebus I'll have to have you point those out to me soon as I get to working on chapter 2 so they can be fixed
Other than that Any comments on my writing style or improvements that might need to be made. I'm still kinda nervous about how I'm doing in that regards. Noticed a few of you all liked it and just want to try and make this as enjoyable as possible.
48572
Good to hear it will be explained, I was just pointing out that to keep it simple it would be best if she evades.
Hmmm working on chapter 2. You can expect it sometime later tonight or tomorrow night after i get off from work.
Hmmmm I'm going to pop a dark tag on here cause of the next chapter and more chapters to come. Gonna be some gore and such. Nothing TOO gruesome but better safe than sorry. Cant be having my fic flagged
this looks good so far, but there is somethin off about it, i cant seem to put my hoof on it
134483 If you mean how Nightmare blocked the Elements then read the comments. Most of what you are thinking has probably been explained there or at least discussed.
Very nice introduction. The dialogue felt natural and the plot flowed smoothly. This is a very interesting premise and I'm eager to read more.
48572 I want Nightmare Moon to "play around" with Twilight, if you get my meaning
Thumbing up based on the first chapter seems pre-mature, but I can always change the vote later if I change my mind! xD Now, onto chapter two!
great story like the passion
Kind of dissapointed Nightmare moon doesn't use plural tenses when referring to herself. I liked that sort of, dare I say, "insanity" that comes with her character.
But then again, here she is Nightmare Moon, not Luna.
interesting but i got quite a bit of reading to catch up
challenge accepted
1 chapter down, 55 to go...
time for a reread
4732122 Or 4. Yes, this is that awesome.
Just so people can see easier, THIS STORY HAS BEEN COMPLETED.
The finished story is on a google doc here: LINK
This has been posted before, but I felt it should be closer to the top of the comments. Bless Peppy for finishing this after he was banned, and RIP his account.
Huh, never took pinkie for a racist. The more you know I guess
9653573
Why was he banned and when should the chapters that aren't numbered be read?