Guilty2501
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There are several problems with this story.
The pacing of this story/chapter was quick.
It feels like a dragon version of fall of equestria.
No details on location, despite being in ponyville.
Spike mother being a part of the story which personal I really don't mind but readers will most likely ask why she gave her egg to Celestia? Also Unless it will be explained in future chapters it hurt the story overall.
Adding Chrysalis to me is a easy way out cause she can change into anything she wants. What you should of had done was made her spy on Twilight and or Starlight. And when the moment was right change into one of the princess take a few guards to smash the eggs and kill a few of the dragon mothers.
Spike should of had rape the princesses since (and it up to you) he been with and or near them his entire life. Twilight being first follow by Celestia, then a Candance if she's caught, follow by Luna.
I won't get to you on grammar since I'm on a phone and it not one of my strongest points.
The idea is interesting but the presentation kind of ruined it.
With that said keep writing.
The story was rush.
But I like the concept of a Dragon version of Fall of equstria and it make more sens then caribou take over.
but I believe this story can be great, you just need someone to look over your work and help you edit it.
7866035 Thank you for the feedback and great advice. I'm sorry but I do have one question What is Fall of Equestria? I've never come across that one. I mean I have come across Fallout Equestria which is one of my favourite stories but you and Henrik have both said my story is the dragon version with Caribou being replaced by dragons.
Still I also have to tackle two points you raised which I want to answer.
Spike's Mother, the "betrayal" of the ponies came many years before Spike's egg is given to Celestia and so Spike's mother would have no reason to hate the ponies.
As for the princess "Sex" idea, in the conquest they are the property of Ember so I'm not ruling out that they will be used to create more dragons since Spike is marrying Ember. However I don't know if that's the best idea.
7866441 I'm sorry I've already asked Crisis Nova this but what is Fall of Equestria? I actually had to google Caribou because I thought they were made up. To be clear I based this story off a nightmare I had two weeks ago. However your feedback is very valuable, I do need a editor if I'm honest but I have no idea where or who is ask.
7866520
Fall of Equestria is AU where equestrian gets concurred by the Caribou a race that believe in male supreme and that all females are just for breeding and sexual favors.
7866536 Ah! Okay thank you. Still that sounds silly if you don't mind me saying. Okay so my story is very similar? Well I suppose that goes back to the whole there isn't a new idea under the sun.
please continue
7869037 I'll think about it. I'm not promising at this time.
7869039 OK
i hope you continue this
7928529 As I said before I'm thinking about it
If I recall inthe first chapter the Ponies were framed right? Will the truth be revealed and jsut hwo much damage will be caused by this?
Please don't
I starting to like this story!!!!
8752223
Let me put this way, if I continue this, the damage done will still require a cost. In this world alternate Universe I've set up Female Dragons are rare, 1 out of 10 dragons are female and they can only lay eggs once a year but even it's only a few or even just 1. So Dragons breed slower than Elephants! The eggs require a three year pregnancy period and a 2 year hatching period. The strength of Twilight's pills are the pregnancy period goes down to 5 months and the hatching period is I'm going to say 9 months. However despite how small my focus of characters was I'd like to point out the number of dragons killed including eggs goes to the hundreds. As such the cost to repair the damage will be great.
8752375
Don't what? I'm unclear on what you want?
8752625
I mean the damage between Spike and the others when or if the truth was revealed. Spike basicly having eveyr mare raped and forced to bear Dragon Eggs for a crime they didn't commit.
The other dragons may not care but thinking Spike be the most effected.
8752635
I think as horrible as this is to say, I've left one thing in there that'll pretty much condemn the ponies. You notice what I didn't include, the dead pony...what didn't happen to him? I know this seems small but for the story it is vital to why Spike won't feel any guilt. I do have a moral in mind for this story...yeah a clopfic can have one of those.
8752631
I'm asking not to
I know it getting bad votes right now
but don't let that stop you 
I'm sure I'm not the only one who liked the story and want to see this through
In your authority note, You sounded as though you going to cancel this story
8752649
Alright...tell you what I won't rule anything out...I left the chapter open ended for a reason. In case there was one person who wanted the story to continue. For me there has always been three goals in writing, getting to write something so smutty as to put 50 shades of grey to shame. Two is including one non MLP cameo. And the third most important thing...making at least one person enjoy the story because that makes it worth the effort. Soooo you may get another chapter...But I'm not promising anything...at the moment I'm working on a fanfiction on another site for my favourite Power Rangers season so we'll see.
Okay
take your time
thanks for the reply
Threatening to delete comments because you don't like an apt comparison?
That... doesn't exactly scream 'security'.
8752893
It's only a threat if you don't do it. I assure you, it ain't a threat...it's a promise.
yay! great chapter! so glad your continuing this
Oof.
I can not whate for more!