Quick question............ What would you do if you imagined all of equestria except genderswapped to the last pony with you in charge and luna banished to the sun while celestia was banished to the moon?
Um....what?
Where do these people get these ideas from?
I have no idea. First of all, that would be very hard to concentrate on and create. But anyway. If I could that would be awesome. Not sure what difference it would making having everyone gender swapped. The bit I like about that idea is being in charge. Lets see. My first order as Great Discord Of All would be a very generous slice of chaos to Dusk Shine and his stupid friends.
Dusk Shine?
Um...I mean Twilight! I haven't already imagined everypony gender swapped...
You are a very weird creature
Shut up! You get bored after 1000 years of nothing. Prince Solaris had a great time on the chewing gum moon. Prince Nocturne...He didn't go to the sun
Why wouldn't you send the Lunatic to the sun! She...He, would try to stop you if you were Lord of all!
I have already vowed to never imprison her in any way, Nocturne is her, I couldn't do that to him, her, whatever
You have a weak spot for the Lunatic? Do you...like her?
What? Don't be ridiculous! No! It's just... I owe her one. For something
What? Tell me! YOUR QUEEN DEMANDS ANSWERS!
Oh that would be too easy. You're going to have to work for that secret ;)
What in the nine levels of Tartarus does semi-colon, bracket mean!?!
Haven't you ever been on facebook or twitter?
Once Equestria is mine, please, don't ever talk to me again. You are incredibly unhealthy for my mental state
You're the one who entered this conversation
I have no control over this! I linked us mentally and I need to maintain it for the invasion. Unfortunately that means I drift off into conversation with you when i'm bored.
Yay! We're in the same goat!
What does a goat have to with anything?
Boat, goat. They're all the same thing
But they're not-
Moving onwards!
To discord-bob, Steve what is the most powerful explosion/anti-gravity device you can make from a toothbrush, eight V-batteries seventy needles, and a extra large glass of double-fudge chocolate milk? Pinkie also says hi and here's a cake."hands discord cake"
Oh wow! Thanks so much for the cake Pinkie! I will eat it with my mouth that is currently frozen in stone! Please don't feel like mocking me with delicious cake that I CANNOT ENJOY!! I HAVE NO IDEA IF YOU'RE EVEN STANDING IN FRONT OF MY STATUE RIGHT NOW!! Jk, I'm used to being imprisoned in stone. Hi Pinkie, thanks for trying to give me cake. I will reduce your punishment by 0.52%
Well, being the best I could of course use all of them to create the PP5-6000. A unique grenade that will leave all within a 500 meter radius unconscious
BAH, THAT'S NOTHING. I COULD CREATE A NUCLEAR SPIKE BOMB THAT WILL IMPALE MY ENEMIES AND LEAVING THEM WRITHING IN PAIN AS THE DOUBLE-FUDGE CHOCOLATE MILK FLOWS THROUGH THEIR VEINS!
Anti gravity eh? Well, with that I reckon I could manage a QXY-No.5 Petersworth G-bomb. Basically it knocks out gravity from the entire planet! I tried it once but King Sol used his own magic to create a temporary gravitational field until the effects wore off. But all in all, good times
I'm not good with machines. My power lies in organics, such as my beautiful changeling swarm. EXCEPT YOU GUARD 58! YOU ARE HIDEOUS! NOBODY LIKES YOU!
Harsh
HE CALLED THE ROYAL QUEEN FAT WHEN SHE DEMANDED WAFFLES!
1) Did you know that Queeny stuck a dagger in the back of your head to communicate with you?
2) Discord, you know Celestia still loves you right? If you do not believe this than I have some important news for you. Celestia preserved the room. Down to the last rusty hook hanging form the ceiling.
3) How dare you refer to Alexanderan as you #1 stalker Sub. Shame on you SHAME ON YOU! That total belongs to me you fool.
4) Have you ever thought of making Vanilla flavored milk fight to the death with Chocolate Milk? Seems legit.
5) Discord have you ever thought of banishing parts of you to outside the stone tomb? if not I fully declare you an idiot. ...stupid...
6) YAY SALSA IT'S NOT A PARTY WITHOUT SALSA!!!
7) When thy lobbesth thy Chaotic Handgrenade thy shall counteth to 5: 1, 2, 5 then thy lobbesth thy Chaotic Handgrenade at thy foe.
8) Discord on a scale of 1-10 how angry can you make beings? I'd give myself about a 34 1/2 example: Bob you have the strength of an overweight toad. See?
9) Did you activate rage mode two days after I was born? It was 36 degrees f outside IN THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST! I feel blessed.
10) The next time you gat out of the stone, tell me exactly how many apples you can fit in one Applejack. I would like to know.
11) Would you give an inanimate object a hug?
12) Have you ever tried fried gator? It's yummy.
1. YOU DID WHAT!?
Fine, I was going to remove it once it did it's job without telling you but since it's out...yes. I used an enchanted nail inscribed with runes to establish a mental communication between me and you. It was the only way we could have formed this alliance
Yes, but stabbing it into the back of my head!?
You are in stone! What was I supposed to do?
What about the sticker that sticking to someone allows mind to mind communication
Of course, that would be perfect...if I wanted to send my drones to die in the temple of Mercury!
2. Seems legit. And what room filled with hooks? Have you been smoking Skooma? Somehow I doubt Celestia likes me. Especially after turning her hair into cotton candy...and her crown into chocolate
3. Can you people stop stalking me! I can't even do anything stuck in stone. Fine, you lot can fight over the title. Whoever wins can be my #1 stalker.. In fact, if you're really fans of me, cause chaos. Aid in my freedom!!
4. Of course. How do you think I decided that chocolate milk was my favorite? It defeated vanilla with a brutal heel drop. And from then on it's always been my favorite drink!
5. a) I have no power over anything outside of my mind. And even then that's pretty dodgy, so I can't even feel my body
2) My entire body is frozen in stone, it's not an outside layer.
III) How stupid do you people think I am!? And the fact you just assume this makes you the idiot. Fool.
6) I fail to see how that's a question but...SALSA FOR EVERYONE!
7) Another not question. Besides, there are no murderous rabbits around I need to blow up. Except maybe Flubberflip's rabbits...
Fluttershy
NOBODY CARES ABOUT THAT PATHETIC DOORMAT!
8) 101, I am the spirit of chaos. I have a degree in annoying people. Even the fact you already rate yourself above the scale you suggests shows arrogance. And we all know how much people love arrogance
What are you talking about, everybody loves me!
OH SHUT UP YOU STUPID IMBECILE! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP YOU WORTHLESS FRAGMENT OF PERSONALITY!!
I have so much respect for you right now
I'M GOING TO **** YOU UP WHETY!
That doesn't count, anything is enough to set him off. Watch. Kittens
I HATE KITTENS! KILL! DESTROY! SMASH!
9) I've been kicked out of your world. No, I had nothing to do with the weather. Well maybe. Did anyone see a barrel of cider hit the sun on that day?
10) What, you mean how many can she eat? I'll just magic her into eating non stop until she can't eat anymore more. Then we'll see how many apples Applejack can eat
11) Yes, I do that on a regular basis
Don't you dare hug me
I'll give you the biggest hug of all queeny!!
Dammit
12) What is wrong with you, sicko! I would never eat a living creature you messed up person! I'm part dragon, that would be like eating a distant relative. Something is wrong with you
I just want to consume their love, I don't even want to kill them...intentionally
Do you like Eminem?
I love M&M's! Those chocolates are so good. I would eat a cereal of M&M's with chocolate milk.
I feel like they mean something different
Nope, couldn't possibly. Impossible. Inconceivable.
DISCORD! YOU STILL LEFT MY QUESTIONS UNANSWERED! DON'T MAKE ME STICK CUPCAKE PINKEMENA ON YOU!
Did someone say my name?
GAHH! GO AWAY!
Anyway, that last word you said. I don't think it means what you think it means.
Also:
What's your social security, Discord?
What kind of cereal do you eat on an imprisoned morning?
Define Normal, if you can.
Define Chaos, if you can.
Ever heard of a paradox?
True or false: This statement is false?
P.S. On the subject of Chaos, if you cannot define it, than you are not a God of Chaos, and if you can define it, then it is not Chaos and you are not a God of Chaos. Have fun with your Mind = Blown moment, and losing all power due to logic totally crushing your arguments. For: The act of defining Chaos is to organize it and force it into a predefined box of limits, which completely and utterly destroys chaos, while only a true god of chaos can grasp it's meaning. Thus, Chaos itself does not exist, and thus you are only a figment of your imagination, trapped in a psych ward, probably on the human world. So... yeah!
I was ignored
Well it would rude for Chrysalis to be so continuously ignored so this one goes out to her. *Ahem* So Chrissy (because dammit, your name is too damn long), have you ever acted in a porno?
Aww I didn't piss Bob off? Who did he say he was going to **** up? Whety who's whety? Also it's spealled Khayhoss cuz it's mo' cunfuzzleing sho ish maks ish mo' Khayhottic cuz nonebody coult disifer ish. Mo confuzzling= mo Khayhoss. Ur wheelcom. I herlp u.
Also, it's not skooma, it's snozzberries. I bought them from Willy Wonka. I think you should give your arrogance a hug. I mean his mental notation is yellow! Yellow is a happy color! He should make you happy! Cuz Flubblerdie is yellow and you lurv heeeerrrrrrrrr! C'mon show him some love. (He's starting to get desperate. Just give him a hug damn it!)
DISCORD I HAVE A QUESTION! ANSWER IT OR BE GROUND TO DUST!!
Okay... thank you. Now, my question (Which I'm not entirely sure if you've answered already, sorry.) is: In the time that Queen Chrysalis has been in your head, have you thought of any ways to turn against her when she lets you out? And if so, what are they?
END QUESTION! RETURN TO YOUR MEANINGLESS CONVERSING WITH SWISS CHEESE AND YOURSELF!!
How did you get turned in stone the first time ? Why were you in a singing pose ?
Why You No Answer Mine?
Discord, if you were forced to be in a form other than a Draconaquus, what would you want to be? No matter what form you take you still have your chaos powers.
i have a question for the female personality. whats it like being a girl in a mans body? and what sort of things would you do if you somehow managed to get control of the body? and which personality do you think is cuter?
Yes, yes we do.
Also, serious question: I'm currently working on a little project that may feasibly disable the magical aptitude of godly/trans-dimensional beings. Were I to get this up and running and vanquish all lords known and unknown on this plane of existence, would you consider becoming their successor of sorts? I'd gladly give up the weapon after its purpose has been served, as well as any memories I may have pertaining to it so nobody would be able to usurp you as I did the others, especially when this realm lacks those elements that seem to be your only weakness.
2797948
You do realize that if he does humor your question with an answer, he's going to find a way out of that poorly constructed trap you've created, yes? Chaos is as Chaos does, after all.
I think...
2801453
Ah, but i he doesn't answer, he proves he's afraid, and as such, is not a god of anything, except maybe of cowardice. Thus he id forced (almost) to answer, or I will forever torment him through the rift, and I will constantly give Bob ideas on how to smash Discord, and give s\Steve ideas on how to 'help' bob.
2801480
*my le palm meets your le face at high velocity*
Don't talk about Discord like that, guy. Seriously, I find it offensive to my morals n' shiz. Also, I don't think Bob 'n Steve haven't thought of anything you could suggest, being a part of Discord who is older than you could ever realistically hope to be. If anything the united minds of Discord would probably view your pestering of them as something less insignificant than dust... Provided somebody in there doesn't have a fascination with dust, that is. = |
2802171
*Smacks your face with a crowbar, adding a large dent to your yellow, freckled muzzle*
DON'T slap me, you ginger freak.
Anyway, I have quite a few ways to incite chaos in Discord's mind, (all of which I will tell him if he answers all of my questions) as well as ways of destroying him psychologically if he doesn't.
As for you, ginger, Remember this, I lost my soul a long time ago, so you have no power over me.
2802192
*bursts out laughing*
Dude, I couldn't give two shits about your soul, just like I'm sure Discord doesn't give two lollipop bushes about your ideas or threats. Seriously, why does everypony think I like my job? Its freaking depressing, dooming the living to the pits of Tatarus by leaving them soulless till the day they die. Also, Purgatory for 25 years every-time I bite it before reincarnation. It aint no thousand years on the moon or trapped in stone, but it still fucking sucks. :/
Also, nice arm. Too bad I've taken lessons from Pinkie- er, an alternate Pinkie from the one you know. Spliced timelines and all that shit.
2802237
Right, you wanna go, Ginji? Let's go!
*makes motion of pushing up sleeves, even though the reactive armor suit doesn't do that*
*readies crowbar*
Come at me, bro!
2802252
*chuckles*
Boy, you've got no idea who the balls you're challenging. Also, you'll have to do better than a crowbar to down me. Ginger liabilities + Pinkie logic + Discord worshiping + Inter-dimensional travel radiation stuff + Muffins = One potent pony.
But if you insist... *takes two steps backwards before rearing up onto hind legs and taking a martial arts-esque pose* Have at thee~
2802276
*yawn* I've seen better. I killed over half of the US Military AND an invading alien army with just thus crowbar. But If you insist.
*pulls out laser-guided RPG*
Catch!
* fires a missile at you, the laser dot directly between your eyes*
*BOOOOMMM*
2802303
*you feel something tapping on your shoulder, my hoof to be precise. Were you to chance a look at my face, you would see it was one of mild disappointment*
Would a rocket propelled grenade work on Pinkie? Especially when she's a knack for breaking reality's known laws? You've much to learn, young one, much indeed.
2802336
So do you.
*you look down to find a shotgun in your gut*
That wasn't the only thing I had on me.
*BANG*
2802344
*CONFETTI! Lots and lots of it. Turns out that that "me" behind you was a piñata animated with a bit o' chaos energy, filled to the brim with colorful paper bits. This time my voice just kinda floats out of the cloud of pretty colors you've accidentally created*
You seem to have anger issues. Might you consider group therapy at a mental institute? Actually works quite well.
2802371
I've considered, but I found another way of venting, as the psychs call it. I'm actually using one of those methods now.
*tosses grenade into the confetti, managing to drop it in your mouth while you laugh*
2802392
*ingenious plan, but with one major problem: Confetti clouds don't have mouths. Wait, make that two major problems: the cloud was kiiiiiiinda enveloping you because the party popper was directly behind you when it was blown to pieces. Too bad you didn't realize this before it was too late to get out away from the blast of the grenade. Have fun exploding~*
2802420
(no, it landed in your mouth, not the confetti cloud's. You already said that the one I blew up was not you, just a pinata, thus you were somewhere else. That's where the grenade is. In your mouth.
2802428
(nooot at all possible considering I'm currently not anywhere near the cloud or yourself at the moment. Try abooooout... eh, I'd say a good 25 yards to the north-east, sitting atop an overturned trashcan with some complicated looking ritualistic seals surrounding it. Don't ask me how you missed that, I'm not in your mind. Also, yous specified that you thew it into the cloud, soooo... Yeah.)
2802445
Wait, then who's mouth has the gren-
BOOOMMMMM
*peices of gray fur and gore rain down on all of us, a cutie mark of a purple not landing near you*
Ah well, just collateral. Hmm... How about some bees?
*fires a constant stream of wasp-like aliens at you, constantly stinging you and raising welts on your skin*
2802456
Ow, owow, owowowow oooooww ow ow.... Meh, I can't keep this up.
*Though the cloud of bees makes it hard to see, you just barely notice a dome of energy separating the bees from myself, emanating from the runes on the ground about me which is preventing their passage*
Still, neat trick. Get that spell from Spore?
2802478
(You've never played half-life, have you. Anyway here's my character:)
What's Spore?
*shakes head*
Anyway, no, I just used this alien thingy I found:
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090727164661/half-life/en/images/thumb/4/48/Hivehand_w.jpg/250px-Hivehand_w.jpg
Hmm...
Let's see if... *fires a large beam from a backpack-mounted gun towards your shield, hitting a stallion with a red coat and black mane on the way. The stallion's insides are introverted, leading to him exploding in a massive, bloody mess. The beam itself goes through your shield as if nothing is there, hitting you directly*
2802504
Um... Am I supposed to be turning inside out now or something?
*I look down at where the been is striking me, dead on center mass*
Because It feels like you're expecting me to turn inside out right now. Actually, come to think of it, I expected to die horribly just like that fodder pony you blew up... So what the fuck?
*I attempt to poke the beam with a hoof, though it sorta bends and warps to avoid my touch*
......
Okay, I'm going to level with you here, I've no fucking clue how that's happening. Like, even Pinkie would at least react to this thing, probably get coated with black soot or something......
......
Uhm....
......
*look back at you*
Any ideas? Delayed reaction due to unknown reality warpage or something of the like?
2802563
*facepalms*
*walks over to you, beam still active*
Right, hmm.. let's see here. You're being pumped with Celestia knows how much radiation, enough that what happened to that redshirt.. I mean pony, would be the difference between a match and a nuclear bomb. LEt's see, if I do this.
*uses free hand to obscure runes, your shield disappears*
And then this,
*takes a cupcake filled with a poorly-hidden grenade and pulls the pin before shoving it in your mouth*
And then this
*sprints backwards, shutting off the beam*
That should do it.
2802583
*considering I've conceded the fact I should already be dead, I decide "the heck with it" and swallow the grenade whole*
See you in 25 years I ge-
*le muffled BOOM sounds. I'm still there, un-explodified*
Uh......... BATHROOM!
*five minutes later, I walk back out, covered in water and smelling like the sewer*
Mkay then, so grenades and death-lasers don't work. Also, I literally just shat out an explosion...
Sooooo... now I'm completely stumped. Did I miss a memo or something..?
2802616
Alright, that's it!
*Walks over to you and uses the crowbar to make your neck snap like a twig. Your head is now hanging upside down and to one side, held on by the muscle and sinew in your neck*
2802645
*I blink a few times before my head decides to properly reattach itself, repairing the fatal damage you just caused*
...
So...
I'm immortal/invincible now..?
...
...
*facehoofs*
Fuck my life...
2798236 Yeah, sorry. This is rated 'everyone', and I somehow feel adding that in would violate that rating. Sorry
2802661 Fight for me, and chaos shall support you
Dammit Discord! No messing in other worlds, we've been over this!
2802661
Want to go oon an adventure? Follow the links!
Wait! Its dangerous to go alone...
Meh. I'm sure you'll be okay.
3098340 but it is dangerous to go alone! here take this you two! -hands each a banana-
what? I like bananas, Bananas are good.
3196730 Thx for the banana! Btw dont click the line of comments ? Why you ask? BECAUSE IT F****CKED UP MY F***CKING COMPUTER
Lord Discord, I will do my best to cause chaos in this world. I've already annoyed my siblings, but I doubt that counts. However, in the name of the Order of Chaos, I will try my best!pre02.deviantart.net/1631/th/pre/f/2012/308/d/e/order_of_chaos_by_vexx3-d5jz1ts.png