A human named Zake comes home from College when a nuke destroyed the town, killing Zake's family. He wakes up in Equestria, he is being haunted by his family. Will the mane 6 help him or send him back in his world.
Chapters (9)
Thebomb
Joined 7th Jun, 2012 ·
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I had no idea what was going on. One minute your character gets home and is all happy and then nuke?! What? And then he's waking his brother and then he's in Equestria?
.....What? I'm sorry I couldn't EVEN COMPREHEND your writing much less interpret the story. And also, here're a couple reasons why your story doesn't work.
FIRST OFF! The heat from a nuclear explosion vaporizes everything it touches within (if I'm correct here) an at LEAST a 100 mile radius. Do you realize how hot a nuke would have to be to vaporize buildings, cars, and people? Not only that but the reason you see that massive mushroom cloud plume is because of a massive vacuum that sucks up dirt, dust, debris, and anything left standing into one massive inferno.
And that's not all, there's also the plasma blowback (shockwave) from a nuke detonation. This is basically a wave of super-heated matter rushing at any and all surrounding landscape whipping out anything left standing.
One more thing:
During the cold war, when Russian Nukes were sitting at the U.S's back door. Do you want to know why nobody fled? Why nobody up and left for Oklahoma, Montana, Wyoming, and all the midwestern states that the nukes couldn't reach?
Its because they wouldn't have had time. Literally after maybe the first five minutes of broadcasting the nuke would hit.
Onto story, there are a tremendous amount of spelling, punctuational, and grammatical errors. I would suggest checking this group out first before either continuing or starting a new story.
luna? :D?
lol......oblivion joke in 3....2......1 STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!
855285
The blast of a nuclear explosion is barely 4 miles, complete vaporization area is 1 mile from the epicenter of the initial blast.
Ok um Thebomb i think you should try and make paragraphs in your story. It's good i'll admit but please try to get pragraphs done...also are you doing this ont the ipad?
like a boss* now all he has to do is start going on a killing spree
dafuq is dis
, it's kind of good, but it's just like, dafuq mate. waaaay too short. you could take this right here as a base idea for a story, and make a light novel, you could've done so much more.