• Published 22nd Nov 2016
  • 1,096 Views, 27 Comments

Countdown - tailsopony



1000 years in the future a single stallion starts a quest for justice in a corrupt country. He redifines what it means, and it isn't pretty.

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Comments ( 6 )

Steampunk/dungeonpunk gun stuff is cool, worldbuilding continues to tick along very nicely indeed.

Love the degrading aspect of Haftling being whored out, to an old rival no less! The humiliation of being made to orgasm via hornplay while a member of the lower classes fills her with cum is delightful.

One thing to note that I see you do a lot, and i'm envious of your creativity in this area: spiritual degradation. It crops up in your stories again and again, this time where Haftling isn't just having her body and mind abused by her rapist, but he's leaving a mark on her magic itself.

It's very... like, the stuff I do is simple, y'know? I like things that are degrading, painful, downright unhygienic, but most of the despair and degradation in my stories relies entirely on the victim finding these things to be past their limits. The emotional component of my fics wouldn't work if, say, the unlucky mare or stallion was a masochist, or actually had a thing for watersports.

You, I think, focus on the nature of the limits themselves, whether it's Rainbow Dash forced to choose between her urge to resist and the health of her wings, or Donnerkopf first enduring a horrific loss before having to willingly sexually service the monster who caused it, or Fluttershy hating her own weak boundaries as they lead her further into unpleasant situations but unable to stop herself, or Twilight being conditioned to displace her near-religious reverence for Celestia onto her captor. I mean, I like to think I have some skill for descriptions, but I feel that your work takes a level of creativity that far surpasses even my most loving description of Rarity licking smegma off a veiny human dick.

You really should search for all the uses of "hand" and "arm" in this and replace appropriately, there's currently at least three of them and they really screw with imagining the scenes.

7834597

Arms is maybe OK, though most people would expect leg, but hands certainly makes no sense.

7834597
Can't find it. Looked. Found chandelier though. That has "Hand" in it. Searched every chapter. "Arm" is intentional as show ponies use their forelegs as arms all the time and foreleg is such an awkward word. Then I have to use aftleg and wtf is an aftleg? I guess it could be backleg. I dunno. I'm gonna stick with "Arm" for forelegs and "leg" for back legs, as it feels appropriate. I got all excited when I read this too! Here I was hoping I could fix things...

This story is going to get a major overhaul once it's done, but I'm trying to finish/work on other things before I worry about this again. I started writing this when I was angry at the world for something, and it's basically just really poorly written psychic vomit. I'll clean it up later and make it more violent and more smexy, but I'm gonna wait till something shitty happens to me again. (Spoiler, it will.) I had a medical scare that could have lead to death, but was really just nothing. During the waiting period, this was one of the things I did to burn my anger, and after I was just too exhausted to care. But everything is okay now!

Sucks being old. lol.

7872215
The convention I'm used to is that leg has some ambiguity, but it doesn't matter because they're normally on all 4 and can thus use any of them when it doesn't have to be a foreleg.

Also, in T Minus: "The crippled old goat took his offer, and Frieden handed his gang off to his second in command." Most would use hoofed it, it's a bit arguable.

7872215

... this was one of the things I did to burn my anger

Good Sir, would making silly faces and post mean comments on your userpage, make you angry enough to continue this? Currently, I'm prepared to say anything to help get you "in the mood".

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