Frieden looked over the unicorns. “Madam Haftling is going to represent the surviving members of this council. If you choose to survive, you will be mine and serve me. Madam? Use you mouth.”
Dutifully, she crawled between his legs and put his cock in her mouth. She was warm and wet, and her tongue was very soft.
Frieden put a hoof down on her head and chuckled. “You’ve done this before, I can tell. You’re almost as good as the whores back on the streets.”
Haftling didn’t answer, but kept working on his cock...
...Frieden grunted, cumming into Haftling’s servile mouth. He hummed happily, realizing that she hadn’t spilled a drop.
Fuck yes that's hot. Made particularly hot because: 1. She's being forced to fellate him in front of her co-councillors. 2. The atmosphere of terror of everyone watching. 3. The way she has utterly accepted her role as slave.
Lots more action in this chapter. It's basically a well-executed (ha!) slasher/horror film at this stage, where you know that the characters are all going to suffer and most will die, and what keeps you watching through your fingers is the hows and ways of it. It's like a Conan the Barbarian story with a spell-slinging Jason Voorhees as the unsympathetic protagonist.
I like how even though there's lots of interiority and a big sad backstory for Frieden, he remains deeply unsympathetic. His actions aren't saved for those 'a little bit worse than him.' The story doesn't have its cake and eat it by making it just-so that everyone Frieden tortures and murders is irredeemably bad. It's not put across as 'righteous revenge,' and I respect that.
Also, I kind of like that IDGAF about this story. I can be as sloppy as I want to be and it's not stressful.
Keep doing this, and not giving a shit about the quality. Just churn stuff right out, and after you've done a few hundred thousand words of that, you'll realize that the quality of your work has nothing to do with how much of a fuck you gave about it. It'll be an interplanetary leap in terms of your overall writing pace once you beat out the 'good writing must be slow' mindset.
Fuck yes that's hot. Made particularly hot because:
1. She's being forced to fellate him in front of her co-councillors.
2. The atmosphere of terror of everyone watching.
3. The way she has utterly accepted her role as slave.
Lots more action in this chapter. It's basically a well-executed (ha!) slasher/horror film at this stage, where you know that the characters are all going to suffer and most will die, and what keeps you watching through your fingers is the hows and ways of it. It's like a Conan the Barbarian story with a spell-slinging Jason Voorhees as the unsympathetic protagonist.
I like how even though there's lots of interiority and a big sad backstory for Frieden, he remains deeply unsympathetic. His actions aren't saved for those 'a little bit worse than him.' The story doesn't have its cake and eat it by making it just-so that everyone Frieden tortures and murders is irredeemably bad. It's not put across as 'righteous revenge,' and I respect that.
ALSO!
Keep doing this, and not giving a shit about the quality. Just churn stuff right out, and after you've done a few hundred thousand words of that, you'll realize that the quality of your work has nothing to do with how much of a fuck you gave about it. It'll be an interplanetary leap in terms of your overall writing pace once you beat out the 'good writing must be slow' mindset.