• Member Since 27th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 20th, 2018

Earl Grey


Comments ( 21 )

Oh jeez this is terrifying. I just thought of this scenario the other day: Fluttershy playing innocent and helpless to lead rapists to their violent ends. Get out of my head, you!

But have some stars while you're at it.

i shall add this to my list of fanfics to read. also, i caught the skrillex reference. been seeing those around a lot lately

i played the actual song in the back ground as i read this and you know what? i am not scared nor can i for get the...colorful pictures this story put in my head but i have seen enough violence that it no longer phases me its mearly a image

...Well, you did fit the song (or at least the video) quite nicely.

You've also managed to corrupt my image of Fluttershy, and I now see her doing something similar to the dragon in Dragonshy, and Gilda, and Darth Vader (don't ask).

But yeah, well done!

i am genuinely terrified right now :fluttershbad:



and a sequal would be kinda nice... just sayin :moustache:

It's........ Alright.
I've definitely read better Creepyshy fics.

Oh so you did have a dark story going, eh? Well I've read it. Didn't quite catch the Skillrex reference until later. Yep it's pretty fitting for this story. I don't know what your intentions were for the victim. He's scum. I didn't feel sorry for him or anything, in fact, I was cheering for Creepyshy! :yay:

The party scene was a gentle way to start off. Twilight being adorkable and Rarity being dainty. :pinkiesmile: I almost thought Pinkie was the main character, despite the cover having Fluttershy. Then I thought it was gonna be Cupcakes. I don't know! You just can't unread that one... Anyway, I didn't see the OC coming (Unless it's a background pony, I'm gonna call it OC guy) and right off the bat I didn't like him.

Oh what's that? Her mouth might say no, but her body screamed 'yes'. You're horrible. And deserving of death. I shall call you "Horribly Deserving of Death" :pinkiehappy:

So this guy stalks Fluttershy all the way into a barn and I think rape is gonna happen. Fluttershy looking back at him, makes me wonder why she's letting him do that. Ooh, she's not a nice Flutters anymore. I shall enjoy this bloodshed. I almost thought Fluttershy was gonna oomph a horn out of her head and cast lightning and fire on him. That might have been too funny for me.

She hears a snap and can't figure out where it came from? Who did that? Pinkie? Did she see everything? :pinkiegasp: What... and now Fluttershy mentions a host? Who does she work for? Pinkie? Does she control everything? :pinkiecrazy: Answer questions with a sequel, please :pinkiehappy:

So she breaks him apart and flings him across the room. After seeing her wrestle a bear, I can believe this. Then she sucks up the smoke...? It's what I don't know that scares me right? Lol, at the pervert smiling because honeysuckle. :rainbowlaugh: He's gonna die anyway, why not?

Oh and that was perfect at the end with the whole sonic rainnuke on the barn. That'll finish what's left of him :twilightsmile: Still, you seem to have poked at a continuation of some kind. If that's the case, I greatly welcome it!

Thanks for the good horror read :ajsmug:

Ya see, this is why you post fics before bed, you get to wake up to lots of lovely comments!

44798

Well, as I pointed out at the end of the fic, I got the idea after watching the video for the Skrillex song. The dichotomy between the innocence of the little girl and the black smoke/demon thing was something that I immediately linked to Fluttershy. The idea that she leads rapists to their deaths was scary awesome.

44805

Everything needs more Skrillex and if I could find the picture of skrillex with Fluttershy's hair, then I would so link it :P

44821

I realise that written media in the modern age has lost a lot of it's ability to scare people (not that I'm saying you can't, it just takes immense talent that I don't have. Let The Right One In creeped me the fuck out in parts, because it's an awesome book that everypony should read) I like trying though, and whilst I'm still not the Edgar Allan Poe I'd like to be, I've got plenty of time to try and get there!

44958

It's not Fluttershy's fault! Or maybe it is, she knows what he does after all, she's just as guilty. Just as a side note, this is the first time I've ever tried to climb into a rapist's head and figure out their thought patterns, I went a bit cliche because as I said at the end, this was a really quick thing that I just picked up again and finished in a day.

45012

A sequel you say? I have been looking for something quick and easy to write, something that doesn't require too much strain on my end and I do like writing murder stories, if any of you would like to see something like that, I'd probably be glad to pick it up again. I can only imagine RD and AJ called the pony police after finding the body and Pinkie Pie still wants to cheer Fluttershy up, lots of plot threads still hanging there.

45084

I had no idea Creepyshy was a thing, do you have any great examples I could look at? It could be pretty interesting to see how other people interpret our sweet little pegasus. I can imagine, just off the top of my head that Flutterrage/Latent Flutterbitch/Abusive Childhood come into it somewhere.

45390

It's not so much a reference, but an homage to a great music video that completely caught me off guard when I first watched it xD

For "The tan pony" (for reference, I just made up a random body type and give him a horn for sedation spells) I wanted to bring him across as a worthless piece of filth whose depravity goes beyond pain or fear of death. In the fic, Fluttershy says "I wouldn't like the idea of your rotten husk broiling inside of me, although you probably might." and that's true, the knowledge that he would be inside of her in any way would probably excite him beyond anything regardless of whether he was dead or not. Even at the end where he as close to dead as you can get, he still got some pleasure from the fact that the final scent upon his nose was Fluttershy. I might have chose Honeysuckle for a reason, I forget, but it sounds like something Fluttershy would smell like.

I wanted the opening to show Fluttershy as she is, her usual shy self, it provides a foil for what happens in the middle and it makes the whole thing seem more shocking when you consider how innocent the beggining was. That's the image I was going for with the whole thing.

Once again, rapist cliches because I didn't have much time to properly research it xD

Nah, I couldn't have Fluttershy doing anything too overt, she's still the same old Fluttershy, (Except she's way more Elfen Lied than I previously thought, the Nyuu/Lucy comparison is kinda scary similar)

Once again, if anyone is interested in this becoming a mini-series of sorts, I might be able facilitate that. Last night I even had the idea of some kind of tumblr ask blog, except instead of drawing pretty pictures (which I can barely do) I would write small scenes of plot instead. And of course it would be on here instead of on tumblr, because I don't have a tumblr and I don't want to get sucked into getting a tumblr and becoming obsessed with it. If anyone would like that, I'm pretty sure I could spare some time for it.

I did intend for the fic to end with Fluttershy starting to dig the hole, then leave it to the audience to make the link between what I said and what's shown in Lesson Zero, but with AJ and RD, that would make every Mane 6 character appear in the fic and I had a pretty good idea for a "post-Applejack-jumps-out-of-the-trench" scene that could lead from it.

Thanks to y'all fer readin'!

*I'm totally getting better at writing Applejack's speech xP*

I came for the skrillex reference, stayed for the creepy story..

dude, i have to say, i just got around to reading this, mostly because i've been busy writing my own fanfic, and this story fits PERFECTLY with the song, and would make for a music video that is at least 20% cooler than the original one:rainbowwild::moustache:

45673 55161

Skrillex references attract ponies? Interesting! Now to use this knowledge in wicked and nefarious ways.

By... er... which I mean, give them chocolate and cookies for being nice readers.

59496

I seriously watched the video about ten times in preparation for writing it (not that I minded xD) If there was one thing I wanted, it was to capture the essence of the song into some kind of pony/music/writing combo.

damn I remember watching the first of the equinox and thinking the exact same thing. good job sir...as a fellow author and skrillex fan

Wouldn't mind seeing some kind of continuation of this. Have some stars. Got my dark ponies for the day.

Once you pointed out the video. I was all like MIND = BLOWN :pinkiegasp:

And the plot thickens...

Well, I am wondering just what exactly is using Fluttershy as a host. I would allow my mind to wander, but then knowing myself I would most likely end up with some God awful image in my head. And well, that doesn't sound to fun.

You also did start the first person perspective I see. I can't help but think it sounds a little choppy for some reason, of course I don't read many first person stories, so my opinion is a little biased on this. When I say choppy, I'm talking about the descriptions. I liked the dialog and everything else, they were all done well, but the descriptions just feel a little jarring. Sorry, but I don't really know how to describe it better than that sadly :scootangel:

So with that, I'll leave you with a 'good luck' on writing the rest :twilightsmile:

97332

Well you're in luck because I've got ideas of where this could go.

97892

I just wanted to point out that, "yes that was where my inspiration came from" so people didn't come in and point out the similarities and call me a theif or anything.

98309

Is that an official question for clarification on Fluttershy's friend? Why not let me spell out the god awful image for you xD

As for the choppy first person, that would probably be because it's been a long time since I wrote in the first person and I'm still getting used to it. And also because I didn't really feel the need to be super critical on my style, I just wrote some stuff. I'll try to keep it more fluid in the future though.

98694
I would have no complaints if you wanted to, knock yourself out ^_^

And no no no, don't let my nit-pickyness keep you from what you want to do. I'm perfectly fine with it, and if you think that you don't need to be all that critical, then you don't have to. You should do what you want to do.

First I was all like :rainbowhuh: then I was all :rainbowlaugh: but then I was all :rainbowdetermined2:

CALL 911 RIGHT NOW!

WUB WUB WUUUB WUB WUB!

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