Chapter 5
Stained Glass had become a shadow of his former, jolly self.
Derpy watched with worry as he robotically tended to the pot-plants. Stained had always loved gardening, keeping enormous prize-winning vegetables which Derpy always took extreme care not to damage at all.
It seemed this was the only thing that was keeping him active...and perhaps sane.
She never thought it was possible to hate her aunt any more than she did at the gala.
Countess Magnifying Glass had declared her own father insane and sent her away when it suited her. No longer needing his consent, the entire estate of Stained Glass had gone directly and entirely to her.
Derpy remembered her parents promising they’d put a stop to it.
They never did.
“Grandpa?” she asked gingerly.
Stained stopped, paused and looked at her, all in separate motions. He really hadn’t been coping well.
“Derpy...” he asked “When...when is your mother coming?”
“I...” Derpy thought back to before the gala, staring up at the portrait of her parents at Invitro Hall.
“I don’t know”
Stained turned away, as if there was nothing worth noting anymore.
“Grandpa, I wanted to show you something” Derpy said before his eyes could drift off again.
“Hm?”
Derpy unravelled the sling over her shoulder and lifted up her foal. Dinky stared at her great-grandfather with wide amber eyes.
The old stallion opened his own milky eyes as wide as he could.
“Oh...” he murmured, tears forming in the corners of his eyes “She...she’s beautiful”
“Her name’s Dinky, grandpa” she said, her voice cracking “She’s just half-a-year old...and she’s absolutely perfect”
Often ponies wondered how Dinky had turned out a unicorn.
Derpy never had. Her mother had been a gifted magic-user as the Glasses boasted.
With hooves that wouldn’t stop shaking, Stained gently brushed Dinky’s mane. The little foal gave a gurgle of approval and made to clasp her great-grandpa’s hoof.
“Oh-hoh...” he did the closest thing he could to laughing “She’s wonderful...dear Derpy...your...your mother will love her dearly...”
“Yes” Derpy drew both ponies, old and young, into a tender hug.
“I’m sure she will”
Derpy left Canterlot Psychiatric Ward after what seemed like hours, making her way with a heavy heart to the Royal Council Chambers.
She opened the doors and found an old unicorn stallion in a top hat in a heated discussion with a brown-maned mare in a green dress.
“Well one of us has to say something, Mr Grey!” the mare exclaimed “What else are we going to let her get away with?”
“You’re not listening, Mrs Line! I told you, there’s no proof” the stallion barked “And if you go about making noise, you’ll only make things worse”
“I won’t be content to simply keep my head down and-”
The two stopped as they noticed Derpy and her foal standing before them with a look of puzzlement.
“Miss...Derpy Doo?” the stallion asked at length.
Derpy nodded.
“Sorry. We weren’t aware you were coming” the mare said “I’m Fine Line and this is Earl Grey, members of the Canterlot City Council. The Chairstallion, Mister Fancy Pants and Secretary, Raven Inkwell, are representing you in the custody case being held privately in the meeting room opposite. We shall take you there if you like but you’ll only be allowed to observe”
“Y-yes please...that’s fine...”
The two led her to a small, empty room with a wide screen across one of its walls.
Earl Grey stood by a small mirror-shaped panel and shone his horn. A seal of office flew from his jacket-pocket and pressed itself against the panel.
The screen came to life, ebbing and flowing like a vibrating puddle in all the colours of magic.
“Um...Miss Doo...I warn you now” Fine Line said with awkwardness “The case has...escalated quite unfortunately”
“Wh-what do you mean?” Derpy asked, worry playing on her features.
“What we mean is, we weren’t aware of your...motor functions being what they are” Earl Grey said gravely “Your aunt is due to arrive soon. She may shed light, or cast darkness, on the matter at hand but...” he sighed “You and your daughter may well need a guardian by the end of this...from your immediate family”
Derpy paled, hugging Dinky instinctively.
“We’ll see ourselves out”
The muddle-headed mailmare stared at the screen as it steadily became clear.
A green pegasus with a sickening smile and the witty secretary mare she saw at the garden party stood on opposite ends of the table writing their own reports, occasionally stealing loathing glances at each other.
The Chairstallion, Fancy Pants, entered with Countess Magnifying Glass.
Both of them sat down without a word.
“Interview continued at 2:30 pm” Fancy Pants said emotionlessly, leaning towards the Countess.
Derpy could swear she saw murder in his eyes.
“So, Countess Magnifying Glass. Explain, if you will, why you believe your niece should be kept in your care”
The Countess didn’t look herself. She looked forlorn, her eyelids low, her lips without their usual tightness. She had her hooves placed over each other in a mild manner and seemed very humble.
But Derpy saw it. The ice-cold spite in her eyes.
“Mister Fancy Pants” she began in an airy manner “I understand that I was...quite wrong to lose control at the gala that evening” she fussed at her mane “The stresses of recent events have weighed on me significantly. But I simply never expected it to come out in such a destructive way” She sniffed with melancholy and made to clasp the hoof of the Council Chairstallion who drew it away as if it would become infected.
“I would take back everything I said and did if I could. I wasn’t in my right mind. Please...I have learned my lesson. All I wish to do now is mend relations between myself and my poor dear niece”
“Oh is that correct?” Fancy Pants couldn’t sound less impressed or more irritated “Well, it may shock you to learn, Countess Glass, that certain friends of your niece tell a very different tale. According to them, you can’t stand to look at Miss Doo. You treat her like a serf and beat her whenever the opportunity presents itself. You threatened her to reappear at Invitro Hall and were set on sending her to an asylum of sorts if she refused”
Countess Glass and her lawyer made a show of being shocked and appalled.
“I...upon my word, I...I cannot think where they get such ideas” she clucked.
“What sort of friends are we talking about here, Mister Chairstallion?” the lawyer asked in a snide tone “Ponyville mares perhaps? Frantic things, I’d imagine. Obsessive. Not the sort of ponies a court would take very seriously”
“Derpy Doo has done nothing to deny these rumours” Raven Inkwell stated.
From beyond the screen, Derpy felt fear constrict her heart as she noticed her aunt’s eyes flicker with fury before forcing themselves to conform to her mellow expression.
“I will be frank, Miss Inkwell. My niece is overly imaginative and has a tendency to...blame others for her mistakes. I am stern with her. I need to be. The alternative lies scrawled in these complaints before you” she gestured to the folder “As I suspected, her friends in that sordid slum, Ponyville, have been a terrible influence. The stress of a career and a child has not done her any favours, that’s for certain. But I assure you...I wish only the best for my dear Irregular. Return her to Invitro Hall and in a matter of months...she’ll be a completely different mare”
Raven Inkwell was pursing her lips while Fancy Pants tugged impatiently at his moustache.
“Mister Chairstallion,” Earwax the lawyer declared “What more proof do you need? Ponyville’s denizens can justify her little mishaps all they like but the plain truth of the matter is that Miss Irregular Glass cannot be trusted on her own. She can barely move without causing a scene. Do you really intend to lend credence to what comes out of her mouth?” He straightened himself and smirked.
“If you refuse to accept the truth, we will have no alternative but to take the matter to court”
“Your husband will judge, I assume?” Raven Inkwell growled.
“As he should, as Canterlot’s Lord Magistrate” the Countess answered, shrugging daintily “Irregular Glass must have a guardian from her immediate family. Anything less would be dangerous to her and those around her. I do not see what you find so unreasonable about my wishes, Mister Chairstallion, and I am certain neither will the court. So what shall it be?” She leaned forward, a smirk of triumph apparent on her creased features.
“You can allow me to take Irregular back home now or take this to the courts and risk public shame and scandal...I’d imagine that would be catastrophic for your re-election prospects”
The gentlecolt looked trapped and the secretary similarly.
Watching all that transpired, Derpy hung her head and began to weep softly, ready to accept defeat.
“May we have a moment to discuss this in private?” Fancy asked, the vigour in his voice fast dissipating.
“I think not” The Countess said “I’m afraid I can schedule the courts for tomorrow morning and no later. It’s now, my good ponies...or never. What’s it to be?” She held out her hooves and leaned back in her chair, that smirk etched into her face.
Raven Inkwell gave her glasses a polish.
Fancy Pants cleared his throat.
“I...”
The door slammed open and a scruffy brown stallion in a woolly coat and a stripy scarf, entered with a grim, determined face.
“Alright” he said, his voice commanding “I’m settling this”
“Excuse me, who are you?” Earwax snapped, his smirk robbed from off his lips.
“Name’s Turner. Time Turner. My friends call me ‘The Doctor’. I’m here for Derpy Doo”
“Well, that’s wonderful but her representatives were just about to concede to returning custody rights to my client”
“No. They weren’t”
The Countess’s lips grew tight again.
She remembered this stallion.
He’d called her a ‘Bag’.
“And what do you mean by involving yourself in this matter, Mr Turner, if that is your name? Do you presume to tell me that Irregular Glass is a safe and sane mare despite all evidence to the contrary?”
The Doctor paused.
The grey wall-eyed mare who depended on him stared, her heart threatening to burst out her chest in tension.
“No, I don’t” he said flatly.
Derpy’s wings sagged in despair.
Was he really giving up on her?
Now of all times?
Had he gotten tired of her?
The Countess gave a satisfied nod.
“Good. Then-”
“I’ve come to volunteer in your place” the Doctor interrupted “As Derpy and Dinky Doo’s legal guardian in Ponyville. I’ve more right to that position than you ever will”
“WHAT?!” The Countess nearly flew off her chair “Wh-wh-why?! How?!”
Earwax tried to raise a hoof to restrain her.
“Milady, please calm down, you don’t have to say anything to-”
“Shut up!” she screeched before glaring at the Doctor with eyes as cold as winter “What possible right have you to act as my niece’s guardian? How are you related in any way to her, you bedraggled little charlatan? Who are you!”
“You don’t have to stay here, you know”
‘I’m a danger to you. Now more than ever’
“I just didn’t want to hurt her
“You cannot let her know”
“What about the danger I might put her in?”
“Well?” the Countess snapped.
“I’m going to stay”
“You’re a good pony, Doctor”
“I’m a responsible pony”
“You did not leave her alone, Doctor”
“You deserve happiness”
“Answer me!” she screamed.
“It would feel really good...to know I wasn’t alone”
The Doctor took a deep breath and answered.
“The foal? Dinky?” she said.
“What about it?”
The Doctor closed his eyes.
“I’m her father”
There was silence in the room but for a slight metallic ‘clink’.
It turned out to be Fancy Pants' monocle landing on the table as his eyes widened and his jaw dropped.
An expression that was shared by everypony else in the room.
The Countess was the first to recover, gritting her teeth as she spoke, her eyes twitching frantically.
“What did you say?”
‘Yep’ The sensible pony inside his head said with dismay ‘You done gone ploughed yourself, me old mate!’
But he could live with that.
“I’m Dinky Doo’s father” he explained at length “We didn’t mean it to happen but it did and both me and Derpy are content to see it through to the end. We’ve been living together since our filly was born...And I intent to keep it that way...You got a problem with that?”
There was another pause.
“Doctor” Fancy Pants murmured with wonder.
“You!” The Countess gave the scruffy brown stallion a look that would have shattered her own namesake and pointed to the door.
“Outside! Now! I will know more!”
“Now, madam, I warn you...” The Chairstallion stood up to come between them but his time-travelling friend held up an assuring hoof.
“I’ll settle this” he said and followed Magnifying Glass into the empty corridor.
Dinky felt her mother hug her tight and warm tears drop plentifully from her big amber misaligned eyes.
As soon as the door closed shut, the Countess spun round to face him, seething with unbridled rage.
“What game do you think you’re playing?!” she snarled.
“Your game, Countess” he answered, eying her with contempt “And I believe I’m winning”
“Now you...you listen to me” she was huffing and puffing like a dragon who’d run out of fire “I am not to be taken lightly! If you are lying to me, or anypony else, you will be made to pay for it!”
“I’ve nothing to hide”
“If I order your DNA tested to verify your claims, it will be done with a single word”
“Good to hear it”
The Countess was taken aback by his assuredness.
“You...” Words failed her “You can’t possibly be the foal’s father!”
“Why not?!”
“Well...I mean...” she waved her hooves as if the answer was obvious.
“Why would you come back?!”
The Doctor closed his eyes and sucked in a breath through gritted teeth.
“Right. I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that” he hissed “It’s simple. I’m taking Derpy and Dinky off your hooves, back to Ponyville. That’s all I want. Ask me to prove myself her father or a responsible guardian and I shall”
“Wha...” she gasped “Why would you want her?!”
“Because...” he said plainly, pausing a moment just to see if the words in his head were really about to come out the way he wanted them.
“I love her”
“No! You don’t! You can’t!” The Countess bellowed.
“Why not?”
“For Tartarus’ sake!! Have you even met her?!?!”
“You really have no idea how special your niece is, do you”
“Special?! You honestly think she’s special?! She’s a broken doll! A freak! A nopony! She’s nothing special!”
“She is to me”
The Countess’s eyes twitched in a way that reminded the Doctor of Pinkie’s pet alligator.
“Alright” she seethed “We’ll play it your way. Five million”
“Pardon?”
“Five million bits, damn you, to go back inside that room, say you were lying and walk away”
The Doctor found himself laughing at the incredulity of it all.
“Wow!” he chuffed “You are a real piece of work”
“Will you do it for five million or not?”
“Go buck yourself”
The Countess jerked back in alarm.
“What?” she whispered.
“I said go buck yourself”
“Wh-what do you mean by that?”
“I mean go buck yourself. Do you need me to draw a picture? Cause I will”
“You mean to say...”
“I’m not interested”
“Fine” she griped “Ten million and a peerage”
“Madam, I’m not interested”
“Twenty million! A place in court! A Zebrican island! What?!”
“Look, dearie, you know the thing that ponies do with their ears when they listen to what’s being said to them?” The Doctor spoke in a sing-song tone “You should do that. Because I’m. Not. In-Ter-Es-Ted!”
The Countess quivered with rage and indignation and spoke in a growling, near-feral tone.
“You honestly think you can treat her better than me?!”
The Doctor raised an eyebrow.
“I can hardly treat her worse” He shook his head “How? That’s what I want to know. How could you do that to Derpy?!”
“Call it a matter of principle” she sneered.
“Ah. I thought so” he nodded his head, smiling “It’s her mother isn’t it”
“Her mother!” The Countess bared her teeth as she snarled like a wolf “Her mother was a sanctimonious little curd! She always thought she was better than me!”
“She was better than you, Magnifying. Don’t ever forget that!”
“Silence!” she screamed, her eyes inches from his own “I will stop at nothing, do you hear?! I will not rest till you and that worthless thing I call my niece are wailing for mercy! Do not imagine otherwise! I will be your end, sir, your unhappy, bloody end!”
“No” the Doctor sounded tired “You won’t” he gently pushed her away from him and spoke calmly “You are nothing special, Magnifying Glass. You know who I am? I’m a warrior. And I meet creatures like you on a daily basis, I foil their plans, I stare them in the eye, I laugh in their face and I bring down their world! Derpy Doo means everything to me. She is worth fighting against an army of your kind of scum. So if you ever try to hurt my Derpy or my Dinky again, I will find you...” he narrowed his eyes. That alone was twice as daunting as the Countess’s hissing and snarling.
“And nopony will even remember you existed”
“You...” The mare before him was inches from flying into a fit. That was plain to see.
“You think you can threaten me!”
She raised a hoof.
“You think you can frighten me!”
The Doctor was not about to flinch.
“You...”
The Countess suddenly stopped mid-frenzy. The Doctor took notice of her face and realized she was looking over his shoulder, her eyes as wide as carriage-wheels, her mouth gaping and gasping in a silent babble of dismay.
The Doctor smiled and called out to the figure behind him.
“How long have you been listening...Tia?”
Audible, gold-covered hoof-beats sounded on the floor as Princess Celestia paced slowly up the corridor to stare down at the two, eying the quivering Countess with utter loathing and disgust.
“Oh, I heard all of it, Doctor” she said grimly “Every...last...word”
Behind her, Sergeant Shining Armor and Privates Flash Sentry and Stumbler, her guard from the Palace Grounds, approached and cut off all means of escape as the Princess gave the two ponies before her a single command.
“Inside. Now”
At long last, Derpy watched with baited breath as the Doctor and the Countess returned.
Though she barely recognized her aunt. The posture and expression was uncanny, it was as if she’d been drained of every speck of courage or power in her body.
She noticed somepony entering after them. A tall and graceful pony with...
No. It couldn’t be.
“Y-y-your highness” Fancy Pants and Raven Inkwell stood and made to bow.
“Please” Celestia raised one hoof to stop them “I’m terribly sorry I’m late, Mister Chairstallion” she said calmly, before glancing at the lawyer, out the corner of her eye. Earwax sat fumbling nervously at his briefcase. He knew as soon as he’d seen his client’s despair-ridden face that things had gone awry.
Just how much, however, was swiftly becoming apparent.
“You may leave now” The Princess said. Earwax needed no second warning, picking up his briefcase and bolting for the door.
The Countess opened her mouth to speak.
The Princess did not let her.
“Sergeant Shining Armour” she declared “Read the Countess her rights”
The white unicorn stallion proudly stepped forward and spoke the words he’d been dreaming of getting the chance to say ever since the despicable mare before him had threatened his little sister all those months ago.
“Countess Magnifying Glass, you are charged with filly abuse, assault, disruption of royal events, fraud, conspiracy to commit perjury and multiple counts of official misconduct. Charges you have confessed to before witnesses. As such, you will be sentenced accordingly”
He looked up at the Alicorn Princess of the Sun who narrowed her eyes and gave her judgment.
“I sentence you to seven years of house arrest and permanent restraining order against one Miss Derpy Doo, one Miss Dinky Doo...and one Mister Time Turner” She gave the Doctor a knowing look “All will be monitored with magic fields of high-security level and parole will not be available. Ponies of the Palace Grounds Platoon, please escort her home. If she resists, you have authority to apprehend with force”
The Countess fell to her knees in a defeated, nervous wreck as the guards dragged her by the shoulders out of the chamber.
It was some minutes later that Fancy Pants picked up his monocle and spoke.
“Well...” He was thoroughly breathless “That’s the end of that, it seems”
“What about Derpy?” the Doctor asked, looking up at Celestia with hopeful eyes.
The Princess smiled in admiration for her time-travelling friend.
“She and her foal will be going home with you” she said “Back to Ponyville. I have also been looking into the matter of Stained Glass and his supposed mental illness. This afternoon, I had a trained physician see him and he decided that fresh-air and friendly company would be best for him”
“I will have a room prepared for him at Briefly Manor” Fancy Pants piped up “It’s the least I can do for such a long-standing family friend”
“That is very generous of you, Mister Fancy Pants” Celestia cooed “But still, I was intending for him to spend some time in the country”
“Perhaps...Ponyville?” Raven said with a grin.
“My thoughts precisely” The Princess joined in grinning “I believe he and Miss Carrot Top will get along swimmingly, both being the avid gardeners they are”
She leaned down and gave the Doctor a thankful nuzzle.
“Thank you, Doctor. For your bravery and honor today. You are going to make Derpy and Dinky very happy ponies”
“So...that was why you and Derpy were together?” Raven asked “You still wanted to make sure your foal grew up okay?”
The Doctor thought a moment.
“You’re half-right” he said “To be honest, when I came to Ponyville, I had no idea I was going to be a father or that the mother was anywhere around. I first found Derpy crying in the alley where I’d placed my...well...my place of living. She was killing herself and her foal through depression and shame, turning away every friend, afraid that if she didn’t they’d turn away from her. I helped her out and spent the next few days making her feel better. It was only after I found out she was pregnant that I put two and two together. I like to imagine a normal stallion would’ve run away” He sighed “But I’ve never been a normal stallion. I didn’t want her to know, however, for a variety of reasons. Both our pasts involved a great deal of danger that would catch up to us, given the chance. And I wasn’t sure how she’d see me if she knew I’d been the cause of her pain all those years ago. But you know...I think I might be ready. And if I’m lucky...so is she”
“Erm...sir...Mister Turner?” Earl Grey and Fine Line appeared in the doorway, smiling encouragingly.
“There’s somepony who wants to see you”
They parted to reveal the muddle-headed mailmare herself, tears running from her wall-eyes down her neck as her foal stared curiously at her father from her mother’s forelegs.
“You...” the Doctor mumbled “You saw it?
Derpy nodded, blinking away tears so she could see the father of her foal clearly.
‘Oh well’ the Doctor thought ‘No turning back now’
“Well I meant every word” he said “Truth is, I wanted to help you long before I knew we were having a foal. And there honestly hasn’t been one moment when I’ve thought of running away from it. But I know I may have hurt you by staying quiet and though I may have had my reasons, friends and family don’t go around hurting each other” He bowed his head “I’m sorry, Derpy. I’m sorry for any harm I might have caused you. I promise I won’t try to harm you again. And if you still want me in your life, I’ll be there, till the end. But if not...I understand. It’s entirely up to you”
“Doctor...” she murmured, stepping towards him, inch by inch “I...I...I knew you were the one...I knew it!”
She threw herself towards him and wrapped her wings and one foreleg around his shoulders, sobbing freely but happier than she’d ever been. She let it all out. All the fear and pain and anger and confusion and loss, all gone now that she had a shoulder to cry on.
Content that he’d made the right choice, the Doctor took his curious daughter in one foreleg and his indescribably special companion in the other and hugged them both.
“Thanks Derpy” he whispered “You’re fantastic”
“It...It all makes sense...” she gasped “It always felt like he was around. Dinky’s father. I always had a feeling he was watching...keeping us safe...I thought I was crazy but...it was you! It was always you!”
“That’s right, Derpy. Always”
Princess Celestia, Fancy Pants, Raven Inkwell, Earl Grey and Fine Line all beamed with joyous satisfaction.
“Right then” the Chairstallion declared “Interview over at...” He checked his pocket-watch “Five minutes past four. Excellent. Just in time to take Fleur up for dinner at the Tasty Treat”
“Well I’m off with the girls for a night on the square” Raven chuckled.
“Sounds good. I’m in” Fine Line chirruped.
“Well, I was all set to head off to Ponyville, myself” Earl Grey said, turning to Derpy and the Doctor “My wife and I are off to check on our sons. Perhaps I could pick up your father? Canterlot Psychiatric has been informed of events and the stallion’s always been a great friend of mine”
“Yes please...” Derpy’s wall-eyes were drying and her smile was brightening up the very room “Thank you, Earl Grey. And thank you Fine Line and Raven Inkwell and Fancy Pants and...” She nearly fell on her knees before the princess.
“Thank you Princess Celestia”
The alicorn gave her a friendly nuzzle.
“Think nothing of it, dear sweet Derpy” she said in a motherly tone “I am glad to have brought happiness to my faithful subjects on this day” She motioned for the door “Now, Doctor, why don’t you take Derpy and Dinky back home to Ponyville. They deserve some rest after today and I’m sure their friends must miss them greatly”
“Righto, Tia” The Doctor picked up his companion and held his foal between them.
“Come on, love. Let’s go home”
*
The Countess lay slumped in her armchair in the smoking room as Earwax made a nervous estimation.
“I’m very sorry, your ladyship” he whined “Taken to the Canterlot Courts we had a good chance but now...” He shook his head “If the Princess says it’s the long haul for you, it’s the long haul for you. There’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry”
The mare was too weary to make another scene.
“Get out” she sighed.
Earwax gave a feeble bow and left Invitro Hall, passing through a powerful magic field undisturbed, a field that would deliver a debilitating magic charge across Magnifying Glass and send for a large cadre of guards if she ever crossed it.
She sunk into the chair and stared at the ceiling, her breath haggard and her throat sore.
“A drink, milady?” A glass of spirits was placed upon the table next to her as the guest, always uninvited, sat down opposite her, smiling as he always did.
The Countess levitated the glass and groggily poured it between her lips. It spilled out the corner of her mouth and she bolted upright coughing and spluttering, staining her dress with spittle and alcohol.
Cascadius shook his head.
“My, how the mighty have fallen” he mused “Don’t rightly know what you’re so choked up about. You still have all this” He waved his hoof around the furnishings of Invitro Hall “All your bits, all your servants, all your body parts intact. Better than rotting away in a dungeon”
“Don’t you know anything about society, you boob?!” the Countess rasped “My niece’s word publicized. My father disappearing to the country. My reputation in ruins! Ruins I tell you!” She slammed a hoof on the arm of the chair “Where’s my oaf of a husband?!”
“The Sergeant informed him of what transpired. He went straight to the Hanoverian Club...skipping”
“Bah!” the Countess screeched, levitating the decanter of whisky over to the table and pouring herself another glass “I’m completely surrounded by imbeciles!”
“Well a pony is judged by the company they keep”
“I beg your pardon?!” She was taken aback.
Cascadius looked at her with apathy.
“Did you honestly think the stallion I warned you about was one to be bribed?”
“I barely knew the pony, for Tartarus’ sake!” she squawked “How could he possibly love Irregular?! Who even is he?!”
Cascadius chuckled.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you”
“Well whatever you know about him, I want it put to good use, Cascadius!” The Countess stood up and paced toward the fireplace “I want that stallion screaming in agony as long and as loudly as appropriate”
“Can’t be done, I’m afraid” Cascadius poured himself a drink “This whole fiasco’s going out across all Equestria. If we’re going to enact retribution, we’ll need to wait a considerable amount of time”
“How much time” The Countess’s eye twitched.
“Time enough for your house arrest to end at least and not before. Anything else will come back to you and that will come back to me. And as I explained after the gala...we don’t want that, do we? I wouldn’t worry. After all, revenge is like a fine wine” He brought up a wine bottle he’d found in the cellars and grinned.
“Ripened with age”
The Countess turned away from the paymaster and glared into the flames of the fireplace as a dragon would a thief in its lair.
“My niece does not know the enemy she has made in me” she glowered “I shall put her ruin ahead of my own household”
“Certainly done that already”
“What?” The Countess was barely paying attention.
“Well, your damaged reputation has cost you quite a number of investors and then there are your husband’s voters to be considered. And let’s not forget my mercenaries don’t come cheap”
“Rubbish! The filly is not invincible!” the mare cried, brandishing a poker, needing something to imagine striking her niece with “Ponies who wish to be thought of as good are always weak!”
She paced to the middle of the smoking room and brooded. Cascadius sat back and drank as if he were watching a play.
“I shall listen to every rumour and every rumble...” The Countess said, malice dripping from her every word “Until I can strike her. Then...I will strike her...until she can be struck no more!”
Did you honestly think I was going to end this story on a sad note?
Really?
The Countess's final speech is from Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens.
I recommend the 2002 film to any fans of Anne Hathaway, Jim Broadbent, Christopher Plummer, Timothy Spall, Nathan Lane, Barry Humphries, Alan Cummings, Kevin McKidd and David Bradley (All favourites of mine)
That concludes the first half of my Derpfic.
I'm thinking of calling it either the Glassverse, the Irregularverse or the Fantasticverse.
A huge thanks to everyone who read, liked and commented on my fic.
Keep in touch for the second half after a seven year timeskip where Derpy, the Doctor and the Mane 6 will stumble upon the nefarious plot of Countess Magnifying Glass, Doctor Bittersweet and the dreaded Cascadius.
I'm also planning on working on a FancyFleur fic which explores the political intrigue of the Glass family and how the gentlecolt and his fair beauty aim to thwart the machinations of Lord Nitpick with the aid of their trusted friends in Canterlot and Ponyville.
Hope to have you all eager on the publishing day.
Bye for now. 
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sequal?
An excellent ending to an excellent story, and I look forward, with MUCH anticipation, to the sequel.
*snickers* The "good" Countess and her allies don't know what they'll be biting off messing with the Mane 6, do they?
Just to paraphrase:
"Oh, how the might shall fall!"
Keeping an eager eye peeled the next one's publication date!
7709535 Eeyup
7709551 Thanks so much for all your support.
I hope you enjoy what I have planned.
7709558 You're very welcome for it, my friend.
Well, I have everything that you've written about this so far, haven't I?
This series started a bit shaky but has really come together. I shall keep an eye out for what comes next.
7710960 Thanks.
So that I know what to improve, what did you find shaky?
7711069 The thing I can remember is dodgy paragraphing making it had to follow what was happening. I'll write a better reply once I've got time to go back and read it over again.
7711157 Okay thanks. I appreciate your input.
Is the Countess really that stupid to go after a town that Princess Everfreakin' Celestia favors? Really? 'Cause it sounds like she may.
7729529 The Countess is utterly without patience and severely overestimates herself but if she's going after Ponyville, she will at least make sure she has the resources necessary.
Let's not forget about what Cascadius is capable of.
Read the first part of this chapter here for a small glimpse.
7729555 Oooh... Reading that little sequence... He reminds me a little of Silcardo Jenazad from History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi (utterly ruthless killing machine who does what he can to perpetuate conflict), mixed with with Hibiki Kohaku from BlazBlue: Centralfiction (butler who his also a master ninja and utterly fecking crazy but good at hiding it).
*considers the combination*
Um... dayam...
7729574 I'm afraid I haven't seen either of those (I might do so though) but you're quite correct.
When you think about it, he's just escalated a civil war and turned what could have been a recovering region into a total warzone for the sake of profit. And he wasn't even going to stay there long.
There's a very good reason the Doctor fears him.
And he's largely the reason the Countess keeps getting away with this curd.
7729602
Silcardo took over a small country just to keep it in a state of perpetual war. He's so psychotically violent that the army of martial artist assassins he worked with deemed him insane and helped the heroes take him down.
Hibiki is very calm, very collected, very much one spark away from murdering everything around him in a bloody rage...
7730286 You know it's funny.
Those two personalities are really contrasting but very apt.
There's meant to be a sort of air of affability around Cascadius, a 'nothing personal' persona.
What do you think?
7730935 There is. A Lecter-ish air of amiability about him. Which makes him freakin' TERRIFYING.
7757430 Yeah, she's caught on already.
Dinky's smart like that.
Only the Doctor can stay calm while somepony yells at him in rage.
Very good!
7757787 The Doctor deals with the Countess's sort on a daily basis and shuts them up with a mere glance.
There's nothing the Countess can do to scare him.
Cascadius, on the other hand, will be another matter.
Glad you liked it.
It's either Derpy Hooves or Ditzy Doo. It's not Derpy Doo.
7757871 What are you talking about?
7797236 I know everyone confuses these but I thought that, since Hooves/Whooves already exist, Doo is Derpy's maiden name. And Ditzy was what everypony in Cloudsdale called her mother.
7797237 Cascadius, he and the Doctor have a...history.
Stupid bitch should just give up. You DO NOT want to make the Doctor truly angry... just ask The Family.
7826493 I think it's safe to say she's abandoned reason at this point.
8174920
I know, I read it.
:thumbsup:
9076342
Accident? No. Me not seeing the first time? Absolutely! I love that movie and I felt silly for not recognizing it as soon as I read that line. Nothing to do with you.
9076346
Fair enough.
Have you watched Over the Hedge?
9076501
Yes. Why?
9076910
Sound familiar?
9077244
Ah yeah.
Accidental again. Was aiming more for Manny's 'I'm Not Go-Ing!' in Ice Age 1.
I've read the story a few years ago and searched it since last week. One of the best derpy fics on my opinion. I wished there would be a sequel of it. :)
9596109
There is. Though it goes into a FancyFleur continuation.