Chapter 3
“I understand you are confused, Doctor. I would be, were I in your position”
The Princess of the Equestrian Sun and the Stallion Who Stops The Monsters stood on the balcony, overlooking the vast expanses of Celestia’s domain.
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell her, and...I could, really” The Doctor struggled to get his words out “I just don’t know what that would lead to...and I hate not knowing. Half my friends tell me to tell her, the other half tell me not to tell her. And not just the halves of my friends, it’s...the halves of my life. My past says no, my future says yes, and my present says nothing...and Holy Horseapples was that metaphor corny as all curd! Look at me, I'm going strange already!”
Celestia chuckled quietly and padded his head.
“Doctor. Mistakes make us what we are. But that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be avoided, particularly when time and space are concerned” she smiled “I’m sure the time will come”
“But when will that be?” The stallion fell on his rump “Every day I remain quiet is another twenty-four hours Derpy doesn’t know who Dinky’s father is, twenty-four hours she convinces herself he’s run away from the life he started. To her, Dinky’s father was some horrible, faceless thug who took advantage of a drunken mare and left her alone to face the consequences”
“No Doctor” Celestia said sagely “When she discovers the truth, she will know only gladness. You did not leave her alone, Doctor. You were there as soon as you discovered you were to be a father, giving her help, advice, words of kindness and wisdom. You were there when she was born and have remained there ever since. You have more than earned the right to be Dinky’s father...and Derpy’s husband”
“I guess”
The Doctor had changed since she’d first met him. Far too often he got ahead of himself, grew arrogant, reckless, unable to face the consequences. Too used to running.
Now, it seemed, the only one who had a hard time believing he was a good pony was himself.
“Still...what about the danger I might put her in? What if something I made angry in the past, which, let’s be honest, I’m in no short supply of, comes after me...or after Derpy or Dinky?”
At this Celestia nuzzled his neck to soothe him.
“Then they’ll have to deal with a very angry Princess and an army of loyal friends who would never let a good pony down”
“...you’d do that?”
“It’s time you stopped trying to brave all the horrors of the universe by yourself, Doctor. You mean a lot to us. And so does Derpy. And so does Dinky...because basically...” she smiled “You’re fantastic”
“Thanks Tia” The scruffy brown stallion shared the Princess’s smile “I’ll make sure to-”
“Princess! Doctor! It’s Derpy!”
The two millenia-old friends spun round as a panicked Lyra Heartstrings standing at the head of the balcony stairway, breathing heavily.
“Lyra” Celestia said with concern “Whatever is the matter?”
“It’s Derpy...she’s run into her aunt...she’s hitting her!” She began to wail “She’s hitting Derpy!”
Alicorn Princess and Time-Travelling Stallion charged downstairs, bowling the frantic mint-green unicorn over on her back.
Such was their haste that they’d left a trail of dust down the stairway.
Lyra paused, staring blankly at the night sky as she took in what had taken place.
“Okay...” she said “Firstly...Ow...Secondly...Hays Yeah!”
*
"How dare you!" Derpy's aunt paced lividly around her, crop at the ready "How Dare you! You dare disobey my expressed instructions and intrude on your family's most significant social affairs?!"
"Hit her, mummy!" Monocular goaded.
"Beat her, mummy!" Binocular urged.
"Don't think I won't" The crop snapped round and lashed Derpy across the leg, bringing her to one knee as she gave out a plaintive cry.
"Please!" she sobbed "Don't...It hurts...I didn't do anything wrong..."
"The truth, instantly!" Magnifying snapped "Where did you get that dress?!"
"A-a-a friend made it for me"
"You are lying to me, imbecile! We know very well you have no friends! You stole it from your cousin's wardrobe, didn't you!"
"No...I..."
"Do not lie to me, filly!" The crop hit the other leg "You stole it...and you ripped it...and you lied about it!" Derpy was now sobbing on her front-knees, flanks in the air. Grinning at the opportunity, Monocular and Binocular stepped in and gave them a malicious kick until the grey pegasus was lying on her stomach, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Who else did you lie to?" The Countess continued her interrogation "Who did you speak to?! Whose time did you waste?!"
"I...I...please...I..."
"Stop blubbering and answer me!"
"I talked to...Sugarcoat...the mare at the door...she said she could let me in..."
"Well, that's one pony who'll no longer be welcome in Canterlot, who else?"
"My...my friends, Colgate...and Pepperdance...Lyra...Fleur de Lis...they...they picked me up..."
"Out on the streets! All of them! I will not have these impudent common fillies making fools of our family! Who else?"
"M...M-Mr...Mr Fancy Pants"
"What?"
"Mr Fancy Pants...he wears a monocle..."
The Countess gave a ballistic scream of rage as she lashed her crying niece dementedly around the ears, upon the back and anywhere else she could, flying into a frenzy as her daughters cheered her on, throwing in a kick here and there.
"YOU IDIOT!" she screeched at the top of her lungs "YOU WITLESS MORON! YOU GORMLESS FREAK! DON'T YOU REALISE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?! YOU HUMILIATED OUR FAMILY IN FRONT OF HIM! YOU MADE US LOOK WEAK! YOU ARE USELESS! YOU'RE FINISHED! DO YOU HEAR ME?! FINISHED! OH BY CELESTIA, ONCE I'M DONE WITH YOU, YOU'LL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN! YOU'LL SUFFER FOR THIS! YOU'LL-"
"That's! Quite! Enough!"
The Countess and her daughters stopped as a flash of golden magic enveloped her crop, wrenching it from her hoof and flinging away as Fancy Pants strode into view, scowling prominently. Behind him, three guards, a white unicorn and an orange pegasus, both with shocks of deep blue mane, and a yellow pegasus mare with a spiky flame-coloured mane, stood to attention, glaring daggers at the Countess, while several fuming mares watched with awe from the gala doorway.
Regaining their breath, the Countess and her daughters smartened themselves and humbly addressed the moustachioed gentlecolt.
"Mr Fancy Pants...I must apologise profusely on behalf of my family"
"Yes...yes you should" the stallion said sternly.
Magnifying winced, throwing a hateful look to her niece, who lay in the mud weeping behind her.
"I assure you, sir, this pegasus did not enter the gala at my wish. She is not an immediate relation to my household"
"I am very glad to hear it"
"Yes, well, I'm glad we..."
"For you understand, Madam Glass..." Fancy Pants cut her off "I would hate for your niece's fine reputation to be so horrifically and permanently scarred by your disgraceful behaviour this evening"
The Countess paused and her daughters glanced at each other uneasily.
"Other way round, you mean, surely" Magnifying suggested with a weak smile.
Fancy Pants glowered at this.
"I know exactly which way round I mean, Madam Glass!" he barked.
Derpy raised her head an inch and watched, transfixed, as the formidable and unquestioned image of her aunt, that she’d become so familiar to, began crumbling before her, leaving Countess Magnifying Glass looking smaller and far less in-control as she stood uncertainly before the furious stallion before her, her daughters doing much the same.
"M-m-mister Fancy-"
"Not another word!" The stallion strode forward, Monocular and Binocular needing no command to make way for him as he reached out to help the piteous grey pegasus to her hooves, battered, bleeding but mismatched eyes started to twinkle with hope.
"Are you alright, Miss Doo?"
Derpy looked at the stallion with her misaligned eyes, lips trembling, and weakly shook her head.
"I'm sorry, silly question. Those cuts and bruises look simply frightful. Shall I get you to the washroom, see if we can clean you up and dress your injuries"
"I...I don't know, I...I..." Derpy mumbled, barely intelligible "I...I need the Doctor"
"Yes, I agree. Don't worry, he should be-"
"Derpy!" The brown stallion emerged from the door and held out his hooves as Derpy fell, sobbing, into his forelegs.
"Oh my...Derpy I am so sorry, I..." He looked over the state of his beloved assistant then screamed at the Countess and her daughters.
"WHAT THE BLOODY HAY HAVE YOU DONE TO HER, YOU BAGS!"
They jumped back a fair few feet, shocked. The Countess turned to Fancy Pants, expecting some form of defence.
Instead, Fancy Pants nodded at his friend's comment.
"Well said, Doctor. Rest assured, I'll find out. Can I trust you to take poor Derpy to the washroom, see to her injuries and take her back to the gala?"
"Course you can, Fancy, always" He gave a nod, a vicious look to the Countess and her daughters and took his assistant inside. The mares departed with him but not before Fleur had let slip her own exclamation, one spotless hoof shaking in the air.
"Let 'em have it, darling!"
For a moment, there was quiet where the gentlecolt, countess and two heiresses stood in silence. Magnifying Glass gaped and gagged, scarcely believing what she’d just witnessed while Monocular and Binocular twiddled their front-hooves guiltily.
"Well?" Fancy Pants asked sternly, making the three mares jump again.
"Well..." the countess repeated anxiously.
"What have you got to say for yourselves?" the gentlecolt cleaned his monocle a moment and glowered at them.
"We...Mister Fancy Pants, I assure you-"
"Your assurance is the very thing I value least right now, Countess Glass!" he barked. His horn glowed gold and the riding crop levitated. Monocular and Binocular gave a terrified squeak and hid behind their mother's dress but Fancy Pants did little more than examine it, his tone dripping with loathing and disgust and a hint of confusion, a great deal of his faith in ponies shattered.
"Blood. There is blood on this crop" he murmured, horribly quiet "How dare you. Do you realise what you've done? To draw the blood of your own family in such a way...on this most celebrated of occasions..."
Magnifying Glass felt quite helpless. It was not a familiar feeling and she had very little idea of how to cope with it.
"She...does not learn any other way” she croaked “It...it was a means of...disciplining her"
"No. Taking her outside and giving her a stern talking-to, such as what I'm currently in the process of doing to you this very moment. That would be discipline. What I saw you do to your niece mere moments ago was pure brutality!"
"Forgive me, sir, let me explain, I only..."
"I will do no such thing!" he yelled, blue eyes blazing, bending the crop with his magic until it broke in two, his face twitching slightly "Countess Magnifying Glass, tonight you have tampered with the royal guest-list; interrupted Miss Octavia Melody's composition, physically assaulted a VIP, your own niece, with a blunt instrument; forcibly removed her from the room against her will; damaged her meticulously-made dress; frightened and insulted her filly; threatened her friends, including several scholars from the School For Gifted Unicorns, my dear Fleur among them; and repeatedly struck her, drawing blood on the royal grounds, all in the midst of a royal occasion. And you two!" He glared at Monocular and Binocular who began quaking in their hooves "You were both willing and eager accomplices in all that transpired! I would be well within my rights to have Captain Spitfire, Sergeant Shining Armour and Private Flash Sentry here clap you in irons, lock you up in the palace dungeons and throw the bally key away!"
"But it's not my fault!" Magnifying Glass blurted out instinctively "I told her she wasn't to come to the gala! She disobeyed me!"
"Countess Glass, your niece was invited here as a VIP by royal decree. An order from the Princess far outweighs an order from you, whatever you may believe to the contrary" Fancy Pants snapped "There is truly no end of good ponies you have disrespected today, Madam. Not least your most reputable parents and your dear sister who loved poor Derpy more than life itself. Your parents and your sister who I knew and admired very much in my youth. To see you, who I always knew had nothing but disdain for the rich gifts of harmony your sister had inherited, striking, threatening and insulting such a kind-hearted, hard-working and loving mare, who came here tonight solely to satisfy her friends, in spite of her fear of punishment from you and humiliation from others, a mare who's very dear to a close personal friend of mine, along with her precious child...well..." He took a deep breath and readjusted his bowtie as his magic caused the broken crop to catch fire in mid-air.
"It leads me to wish dreadful things upon anypony who would dare act so monstrously"
The Countess and her daughters looked and felt very small, as if they were afraid the stallions' hoof would rise high up and crush them all in a single stomp.
"However..." Fancy Pants continued in a more moderated tone as the remains of the crop slowly flew away in smouldering ashes "Since tonight marks the foundation of our beloved Equestria and the birth of its high ideals of harmony and love, I am electing to be merciful"
"Oh...oh thank you..." the Countess and her daughters indulged in some heavy sighing "So...you forgive us?"
"Oh no. Absolutely not" His severe tone returned and caused the three mares to cower once again "I fear that you shall never have. Not after what you've done. Let me clarify. By merciful, my good mares, I of course mean I won't have you thrown in a cell. I shall simply order you, as Chairstallion of the Royal Canterlot Council, to go back inside, make a sincere and public apology to your niece and to the princess for your conduct here tonight and then you shall go home, immediately and without argument. And you can jolly well stay there until you've learnt some respect! Is that clear?!"
Magnifying, Monocular and Binocular all nodded fearfully in unison.
"Splendid" Fancy Pants stood aside and gestured to the doorway "Get on with it then, chop-chop"
Trembling, the Glasses re-entered the gala in a huddle, ashen-faced with sweat pouring from their brows.
Content at the result, Fancy Pants turned to the three guards who'd accompanied him.
"Holy Bonnycorn's Bob-Cut!" Shining Armour exclaimed at length, blinking several times "That happened, right? I saw that, right?"
"Did you see their faces?" Spitfire nearly fell about laughing "That is definitely a memory I'm treasuring for life!"
"I am glad you chaps could assist me" Fancy Pants began to dab at his brow "I'm not sure I could have managed that alone"
"Are you kidding? Fancy, dude, that was EPIC!" Flash Sentry, now several years a guard, had not yet grown out of his clunky, uncouth high-school dialect "She was all like 'Get down on the floor, spazz!' and then you were like 'The buck you say, nag?' and then you were all like 'I ain't having that curd!' and..."
"Private Sentry, you are in uniform and addressing the Chairstallion of the Council. Check your tone, this your second warning!" Shining snapped, a unicorn who took his duties as a guard very seriously.
"Sorry" The orange pegasus scratched the back of his mane and spoke in overemphasised tones "You were very...courageous...sir"
Shining rolled his eyes.
"Good enough" He gave an admiring grin to the gentlecolt "I gotta' say, Mister Chairstallion, sir, that was incredible. I mean, on a good day, a wild mountain drake with its teeth around my neck scares me less than Countess Magnifying Glass!"
"And with no offense intended, sir, you've never really struck us as the type to face a mountain drake" Spitfire chuckled "But the way they reacted to you calling 'em out like that, you'd think Nightmare Moon had come for their souls!"
"Well, Captain. Mountain Drakes are one thing. Bullying aristocrats are quite another. As Council Chairstallion I possess quite a bit of influence and I make the most of it"
"I was happy to see that crop burnt to cinders" Shining added "She threatened to use it on my little sister once, just for bumping into her. Those heartless hags have needed taking down a peg for quite some time"
"I simply did what I felt was right," Fancy Pants replied modestly "What a gentlecolt would do. And now, I believe I must check on Fleur and the Doctor and poor young Derpy. And have something to drink, my throat feels like there's a phoenix taking roost in it. Thank you, once again, for your help and I hope you enjoy the rest of the night. I say, it looks like rain"
*
In the washroom, the Doctor drew another paper towel, wet it under the tap, and placed it against Derpy's lashed cheek. Holding it against the injury for several moments, he withdrew it, red with blood. He then took yet another towel, dried the wound and finally, applied the plaster. He shook her head at the sight.
Derpy sat upon the washroom stool, weeping softly. Her body was thoroughly pitted with cuts and bruises. If they were careful, they wouldn't scar but it still shocked him to see anyone, least of all a mare so close and dear to him, hurt this way. He's seen those he loved hurt before, some by foul creatures from other worlds existing only to destroy.
Yet it was ponies, just the few really cruel and despicable ponies that truly turned his stomach.
The two ponies had been mostly quiet since they entered the washroom but finally Derpy spoke.
"I'm sorry..."
The Doctor blinked and shook his head, dumbfounded.
"Derpy, what have you done to be sorry for?"
"I wandered off...I bumped into my aunt...I'd disobeyed her..."
"Now, Derpy, listen..."
"I did it wrong!" she began to wail "That's why they hurt me! That's why anyone hurts me, because I do things wrong! And I'm the only one who never knows what went wrong or why, I just..."
"Derpy..."
"And ponies I love get hurt too! That's the worst part. The reason why I was afraid to stick by you, or make friends, or have a foal. They'd get hurt because of me! Aunt Magnifying's going to exile Sugarcoat and Lyra and Colgate and Fleur and I don't know who else but it's all because of me! It's all my fault!" her head bowed, unable to look the Doctor in the eyes.
"You shouldn’t have come back! I’m not worth it! I bring this on myself...what they did to me...I deserve it"
"Derpy, look at me!"
His voice was stern but it still sounded like he cared.
Derpy raised her head and found the Doctor's lips pressed against hers. Her eyes widened in surprise but she let it happen gladly.
"Derpy" he finally said when they'd finished "I want you to listen very carefully. You deserve happiness. You deserve friendship and family and all the joy they bring. Because you've earned it. Sugarcoat, Lyra, Colgate, Pepperdance, Fleur, do you know why they put their careers and maybe even their lives at risk to protect you?"
Derpy blinked.
"It's because that's what friends do. You've helped them so much in the past and they wanted to give something back. And that's not just owing you or feeling sorry for you. They care about you. A lot of very good ponies care very much about you, Derpy, and they will make sure you get the happiness you deserve. And I'm proud to be one of them"
"Oh Doctor" This time both of them kissed on cue. It was short, but it meant a lot and it definitely made Derpy feel a great deal better.
There was a gentle tap on the door as the mint-green unicorn, Lyra Heartstrings, poked her head out the door.
"Hi Derpy. You feeling okay?" she asked gingerly.
"Yeah...I think so" Derpy was still dreadfully quiet but managed to smile. Lyra returned it and spoke.
"Great, cause there's somepony who wants to see you" she opened the door wider and carried in Dinky Doo, plaintively reaching out to her mother who picked her up and hugged her warmly.
"Oh Dinky...my baby...you're okay"
"Mah"
The Doctor gently reached over and shared in the hug. Dinky huddling up to the Doctor's neck.
"See. Told you she'd look after you" he said.
"Da-Tah" she murmured.
"I think she really likes you" Derpy said, smiling "I think she'd love you as a daddy"
"Yeah..." the Doctor scratched behind his ear, straightened his bowtie and cleared his throat "One day, Derpy, I'll tell you a very special story. About a silly pony who made what started out as a huge mistake but ended up making himself and everyone around him very happy for it. In a way, it's rather like the story of your life"
"It would feel really good..." Derpy murmured, drying her tears "...to know I wasn't alone"
‘You cannot let her know’
"You're never alone, Derpy. Not anymore. Understand that"
"I do...Doctor...I really do"
Lyra cleared her throat anxiously.
"Princess Celestia wants to see you...your aunt and cousins too"
Derpy shrunk in the dirty, tattered remains of her dress and quivered.
"Oh...I knew it...she found out I snuck in...I'm gonna' be in so much trouble"
"No, no, Derpy, I'm sure that's not it" Lyra placed a reassuring hoof on her shoulder "Believe me, if I know you didn't do anything wrong, I'm pretty sure Celestia knows. She's...pretty good at knowing stuff" She winked "And even if, for whatever reason, she takes their side...me and the girls will still be taking yours"
"R-r-really?" Derpy mumbled, hope shining in her mismatched eyes "Th-thanks Lyra...you're all such good friends..."
"Don't sweat it, Derpy. But let's not keep her waiting or you really will be in trouble"
Throwing an 'okay' gesture to the Doctor, Lyra accompanied Derpy back out into the gala.
*
The gala was largely quiet, still not quite recovering from the events prior.
Princess Celestia was standing in the hall beside Countess Magnifying Glass, Monocular and Binocular, eying them distastefully through the corner of her eyes while the expressions on the Countess and her daughters suggested desperately wanting to sink into the floor.
Around them were Derpy's assorted friends and acquaintances, glaring at the guilty noble mares, dearly hoping the three of them were going to spend the night in a dark, dingy dungeon cell. The orange unicorn mare with the red and yellow mane was drawing her hoof across her neck at them in a gesture loosely indicating the mares were, to use the vernacular, 'So Totally Bucked'.
Derpy at last emerged under Lyra's foreleg, still quite bedraggled and very nervous, her filly riding in her sling. She couldn't help but look small in front of the alicorn before her. The Doctor followed behind and stood beside Celestia.
With a tender smile, Celestia spoke to Derpy, her voice like the flow a tranquil brook.
"Hello Derpy " she closed her eyes, breathed in deeply and glanced to the side of her again where the Countess and her daughters stood.
"I believe your aunt and cousins have something they need to say to you"
Countess Magnifying Glass's tight-lipped mouth creased and curdled like she was about to spit out something toxic. Drawing out the words as if they were an alien language, she spoke to her nephew in a civil tone, perhaps for the first time.
"Irregular...Derpy...my niece" she began "I must...apologise...for hurting you here...at the gala...it was...unnecessary"
Celestia stamped her hoof meaningfully. The Countess gave a jump and reworded her previous statement.
"Cruel...it was...terribly cruel...of me...to treat you that way...we are sorry"
"Very, very sorry" Monocular and Binocular repeated, fear prevalent on their ugly faces.
Derpy watched, speechless. As of less than five minutes ago, there were few things that terrified her more than her aunt, a mare of cold steel in her eyes and memory. But now here she and her two spiteful, scheming daughters were, fervently apologising to her.
It felt uplifting in its own way.
But didn't feel altogether satisfying. Derpy was able to see the fear in their eyes. Fear of Celestia, of Fancy Pants and what they could do to them. There was nothing honest in their apology.
She didn't know what to say.
"Very good, Countess" Celestia said, showing as little emotion as possible “Though I have to say, this evening’s gala has given me a lot to think about. It may interest you to know that while all this was taking place, I was speaking with someponies who believed that Miss Derpy was able and capable of living by herself. In truth, I was hesitant and believed staying with her family would do her some good but then I heard troubling tales of how you treated her. Tales that were proven entirely truthful from your behaviour. Without provocation, you assaulted a member of your own family. This cannot be allowed to continue”
She leaned down, her eyes blazing like a couple of infernos. The fear the three mares had shown toward Fancy Pants was starting to look meagre in comparison.
“Tomorrow, I will be speaking with Derpy personally and I will be letting her decide whether she wants to continue living in Ponyville or not. The council will also be issuing a restraining order so as to prevent abuse like this and to remove your reduction on your niece’s income. Know that you have shamed your noble family today and that it is only because I wish to avoid a scandal that you escape imprisonment...but don’t count that entirely out of the question. We will be looking very closely into this matter in future”
After a short pause, motioned to the palace exit.
"The door's that way, thank you for coming"
"W...will somepony fetch us a carriage?" the Countess asked, noticing the sky outside starting to pour plentifully with rain.
Celestia pursed her lips sarcastically.
"I think that's a little extravagant. Derpy and her friends made their way here on hoof from Invitro Hall. It can't be that far a walk"
The Countess's daughters looked ready to blubber gracelessly while their mother stood grinding her teeth behind tight lips.
"Goodbye Countess" Celestia's voice rose about half an octave which was enough for the three mares of Invitro Hall to hitch up their dresses and dash outside, cantering ungainly for Invitro Hall, sopping wet before they'd even reached the bottom of the palace stems.
The Princess called out one last utterance to them, vengeful enthusiasm betrayed in her voice.
“See you tomorrow”
The door closed.
"Well..." the Doctor said, a broad grin on his face "That’ll teach ‘em"
"And good riddance to bad rubbish" Fancy Pants whinnied with approval "Jolly good show, your highness, if I may say so"
"You may of course, Mister Chairstallion " Celestia gave him a grateful smile "I am most thankful you came to Derpy's aid when you did. You acted very much as I and the Doctor would’ve, I am sure"
"Ah..." Fancypants tossed his head modestly "I take a lesson from you both. A good pony uses all they have to do good. I have a great deal. I put it to good use"
"And we are grateful for it" Celestia said and turned again to Derpy. Her eyelids seemed to waver, almost tearfully.
"Dear, sweet Derpy, I am truly sorry I was unable to help you today. I feel ashamed. The night you gave birth, I promised to watch over you and ensure you were taken care of but...I had no idea your family or anypony else treated you this way"
"No...No...It's okay" Derpy mumbled "The thing is...I...I didn't want you to help"
Celestia's eyebrows rose in surprise as Derpy started to look down at her hooves, unable to look the princess in the eye.
"All my life, ponies have told me I need help and...I just felt so pathetic. I'm a grown mare and I have a foal...I just want to be able to live my life and handle my own problems but..." Her voice cracked and tears started falling down her cheeks "I don't think I can..."
"Oh Derpy"
The grey pegasus felt the alicorn princess brush her neck against hers comfortingly, soothing her every concern.
"It is good that you wish to choose your own path in life. But nopony gets anywhere alone. You may not want others to do things for you...but there's nothing wrong with others doing things with you" she smiled "I don't want you to think of me as a goddess or a ruler or a guardian...I want you to think of me as a friend...a friend looking out for you. Beside many others"
She turned meaningfully to the collection of ponies, gathered around Derpy, smiling brightly.
She returned that smile. For as long as her friends could remember, whatever Derpy looked like, her smile was truly beautiful.
Her body was starting to shake, trying hard not to cry as she gazed up at the Princess. Her magic and her friendship was so prevalent. It was easy to see why she was the princess of Equestria.
"Th-thank you, Princess" Derpy took the opportunity to hug the smiling princess, crying with joy "Thank you so much"
"Aw, c'mon Derpy" Colgate joined in the hug "Remember. We're at the Gala. Try to have some fun"
“How about another dance with yours truly?” The Doctor asked, smiling.
"Oh...that would be nice but...I ruined my dress” the mailmare stared forlornly at the tattered remains of the seamstress’s work “I wish I hadn’t done that...Miss Rarity worked so hard on this"
"Hm...give me a moment" Celestia said. Her horn began to glow with a small but extremely bright light as the fragments of Derpy's torn turquoise dress levitated and joined together again, a little stained but whole.
Derpy gave another tearful smile at the Princess.
“Thanks...so much” she squeaked.
“Think nothing of it, my little pony” Celestia cooed “You and your Doctor just enjoy yourself”
"Hey Senorita Melody" Pepperdance turned to the elegant grey cellist who bowed.
"Please mares, call me Octavia"
"Octavia, do you know any Cabaleran music? They're played on the cello in Pezunia, perhaps that would work? Me and my friends were hoping to dance at some point today"
Octavia's lips pursed.
"I mostly do classical but I could give it a shot. I believe 'El Burro Bailando' is somewhere in my songbook. I haven't played it since my exams but I can't be too shaky"
"Gracias hermana" the bubbly red mare grabbed Colgate and Derpy's hooves "C'mon girls, let's show them what I taught you"
Around three minutes later, they were sat down at a table, talking amongst themselves. It was getting late and the gala was starting to die down substantially.
"I don't think I've ever been more embarrassed!" Colgate was slumped backwards against her chair, looking up at the ceiling, hoof resting on her forehead "That must have been the worst dancing I've ever done"
"No worries, Colgate" Pepperdance laughed "You were great for beginners. Derpy too"
"Yeah, I don't mean to be rude or anything..." Lyra pointed out "But I haven't seen you crash into anything once since tonight!"
Derpy gave an embarrassed chuckle and ruffled Dinky's mane.
"I...I guess I'm just a lot more careful when Dinky's close by"
"Aw, that's wonderful, Derpy" Colgate smiled "I really think you've been great as a mother"
"Th-thanks..." Derpy couldn't help but think back to that afternoon when Dinky had nearly been scalded to death in the laundry room.
Thinking back further, although Derpy had sometimes let Dinky fall into danger, she had always been there to get her out of it too.
"I'm kinda' disappointed actually" Twinkleshine said "I was really hoping you'd end up knocking something over on that stuck-up couple over there" She pointed subtly to Jet Set and Upper Crust who were quite a distance away and too caught up currying favour with Blueblood to notice them.
"Oh they've been grating on you too, huh?" Lemon Hearts asked "I mean, they started pestering me over some ancestor I was supposed to have, Lady Citronia or something, who cares? Then when I said my mother was a nurse in Ponyville, they didn't even want to look at me! What's with these big name nobles anyway? Is there some kind of disease they catch from ponies who worked to get where they are?"
"It's an ugly sore in our society" Fancy Pants said dismally "One that the Princess, and those beside her, hope to change. It'll take time" He cleared his throat and spoke to Octavia "That was lovely music back there, Miss Octavia, quite delightful"
"Thank you, Mister Fancy Pants" Octavia nodded in gratitude "Usually when I try Cabaleran music, it always ends up sounding like a Ferdish Folk Dance but I'm glad it was to everyone's enjoyment"
"You two were pretty nice up on the dance floor" the Doctor chuckled as Fleur and Fancy blushed.
"Oh, don't be a toady now, Doctor" the gentlecolt said bashfully "I've only seen Pezunian dancing at the theatres. I'm not an expert. Let's face it, I looked more than a little camp"
"Camp is good" the Doctor grinned.
"I think you looked wonderful, Fancy dear" Fleur cooed, leaning over his shoulder.
"Majestic"
"Striking"
"Masterfu-"
"Why are you still here?!" Fleur found herself yelling at Fancy Pant's entourage, who all edged back, blinking in alarm.
Fancy Pants patted Fleur's hoof in a calming manner.
“Settle down, my dear, I'll handle this" he turned to the three flattering nobleponies with an air of authority.
"I believe I shall be staying longer than planned. I'm sure any further matters between us can be settled at the council meeting tomorrow afternoon"
"Very well, sir"
"As you wish, sir"
"Quite understood, sir"
All three of them bowed, wished them a good night and left in complete unison. Fancy and Fleur both gave a weighty sigh.
"Can't they ever give us some privacy?" Fleur pouted.
"You get used to it" Fancy Pants chuckled.
"You've all been so good to me today" Derpy was close to crying with happiness "But...I hardly know any of you. I’ve been so afraid of showing myself. I was afraid I’d mess up and you’d laugh at me or get angry. But if that’s not going to happen I'd like to know you all better...I never thought anypony would like me this much"
Twinkleshine gave a smile.
"Why wouldn't we like you? You're Ponyville's best mailpony and such a great friend. Colgate and Lyra have told us all about you"
"Yeah, everypony says it" Lemon Hearts piped up "I mean, okay, you may be kinda' whacky but you're still really sweet and friendly"
Sugarcoat rose her head.
"To be honest, Derpy, from what I've been told, you're rather clumsy and often make mistakes but you mean well and do your best and you're steadily getting more and more careful and social. Given time among friends and ponies who are willing to help you then you'll steadily get better at overcoming your weaknesses"
The assorted friends and acquaintances all stared at her.
"What?" she asked dismissively "I don't beat around the bush"
"You never have" Fleur chuckled "You're in great hooves, Derpy"
"Thank you...Miss de Lis"
"Oh please, just call me Fleur. All my friends call me that and I'd really like you to be my friend"
"Er..." Derpy blushed furiously "I don't know...I mean..."
"Oh you look so gorgeous when you blush!" Fleur squealed "Sorry for interrupting. Carry on, dear"
"Um...well..." it was an ordeal for the grey mare to get the words out "I mean...you're really busy and important and beautiful...I don't know if I'd be worth your time..."
"Now Derpy, you mustn't think like that. I’m really not that more important than anypony else at this table and all I’ve ever really wanted is to have friends like you" Her face fell slightly "Ever since I left school I've been so lonely, until I met Fancy"
"But I would've thought you were used to it..." she caught notice of her faux-pas "I didn't mean that...Canterlot's great but..."
"No, no, I understand" Fleur brushed her mane "If you can believe it, I'm not from Canterlot, at least I wasn't raised there"
"Yeah I..." Derpy thought back "Didn't you say you were from Ponyville?"
"Yeah, didn't you know?" Colgate asked "She doesn't get to visit home often but she's Ponyville born and raised. Although, if I remember right, her father's family are Prench Earth Ponies and her mother's family are Bitalian Unicorns and they both grew up and married in Manehattan"
"Exactly" Fleur said humbly "When I started doing well at magic, they got a letter from the Princess and I came to Canterlot to learn at the School For Gifted Unicorns. But I wasn't as good at magic as everyone else, or as clever and..." she winced at the memory "I really wasn't that good-looking either"
"Huh? But..." Derpy couldn't quite picture that "How weren't you good-looking?"
"Well I was far too tall and thin, wasn’t I. Even when I was a filly. The names they had for me. Freaky Fleur, Frumpy Fleur, Lanky Lizzie, Bleurgh de Lis, that became a favourite of theirs. But...then I signed up for tutoring assistant and I got to know the younger students better. I met Colgate, Lyra, Twinkleshine, Lemon Hearts, Sugarcoat, so many friends who thought I was so cool and kind to be spending time with them and giving them advice. It was lovely. And in the following year, I just sort of...blossomed into the mare you see now. I still looked the same but it looked...right. They stopped calling me names but...there were so few who actually liked me for a pony so I was still quite shy and introverted. Then all that changed when I got to know Colgate and Lyra, Twinkleshine, Lemon, Sugar and everypony else here" Fleur gave a comforted sigh "With so many friends, I grew much more confident. They all voted me for Head Filly in a landslide victory. And I learned the real secret to looking beautiful, Derpy" She leaned over and played with a strand of the grey Pegasus's blonde mane "You can look as strange as possible. You might be too fat, too skinny, have strange mane or eyes or colours or anything else but as long as you're friendly and help other ponies then your inner beauty will shine like Celestia's sun and everypony will call you pretty"
Derpy finally felt herself relax.
"Um...thank you for looking out for me tonight" Derpy said to the gentlecolt and his companion.
Fancy Pants looked bashful again.
"Oh pish-posh" he tutted "I simply knew what needed to be done and acted on the power to do so. Your aunt is a mare of great influence but since I outrank her, perhaps the fear that prevented others rushing to your aid was not so apparent in me. And besides, it was Miss Colgate, Lyra and Pepperdance that informed the Princess and the Doctor of your plight and the Guard Commanders, Shining Armour, Spitfire and Flash Sentry that reinforced my statement with their daunting presence. I cannot take sole credit”
Derpy gazed at the gentlecolt in puzzlement.
“Are ponies like you always this humble?” she asked.
“Not always” The Doctor interjected as if to represent the exception “But it helps”
The stallions chuckled.
“And to be honest, dear Derpy, we all feel rather rotten we didn’t know about this from the beginning” Fancy Pants said guiltily.
“No, no, that was my fault” the grey pegasus mumbled forlornly “I kept quiet. I didn’t want anypony else to get hurt because of me”
“Derpy” It was Fleur who spoke “A few months ago, something very bad happened to me. A very powerful pony hurt me and I feared he would hurt others. Telling somepony was a spur of the moment but...deep down I felt terrified...and ashamed to make others solve my problems. I didn’t dare leave my home for fear they’d find me. But in the end, my friends looked out for me. In Ponyville and in Canterlot, I feel much safer thanks to them” She put a tender hoof around Fancy’s shoulder and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
“And I know it will be the same for you”
Derpy paused, fighting back tears.
“Okay” she mumbled.
The kiss of his companion had caused Fancy Pants to blush furiously. Gathering his senses, he cleared his throat and regained his typical magnanimous manner.
“Derpy. Tomorrow, the Canterlot Royal Council, myself chiefly among them, will be deciding how to approach this matter. You should know that I wish you only safety and happiness and it will be entirely your choice on where you wish to live and raise your foal. Your family may wish to paint this case in a different light and let others believe that but...I want you to remain calm. I promise you, in the name of your dear sweet parents, I shall make this right for you”
“Thank you” Derpy felt a huge weight lifted from her shoulders. It had been a long day.
“Hey Derps, great news!” Lyra turned away from her friend’s conversation and spoke ecstatically “The Princess says that we can stay in the Palace Dorms for tonight and however long you want to stay in Canterlot! She’s already sent Flash Sentry to get your things from Invitro Hall. You okay with that?!”
Derpy tried in vain not to gasp in amazement.
“Yes! Yes, I’d love that! Thank you!” She felt like hopping on her hooves as Pinkie Pie did, though she had no idea how “Thank you so much, everypony!”
“Well, I think this calls for a bit of a knees-up, eh?” The Doctor got to his hooves “If Tavi wouldn’t mind playing us another tune?”
“It would be my pleasure, sir” The elegant grey musician bowed.
And with that, the gathering of friends and treasured companions ended their night at the gala in song and dance.
*
Once the impertinent orange pegasus guard left Invitro Hall with the meagre keepsakes of Irregular Glass, Countess Magnifying let loose an unearthly scream, echoing across the estate, her horn blazing. Realising she no longer had her crop in her possession, she blasted a torrent of magic bolts at nowhere in particular, burning a few curtains and smashing a vase.
She was far too lost in rage to care.
“Throwing tantrums now, are we milady?” A sardonic voice interrupted her tirade as an uninvited guest reclined in the smoking room, munching on a carrot.
“How did you get in?!” she snapped, momentarily distracted.
“Really?” the guest asked, getting to his hooves “Not a season ago, your last job for me was ‘Break into a prison and kill somepony without anypony noticing’ and I have visited here frequently enough to know every available entrance and exit. Are you starting to lose faith in my abilities already?”
The Countess gave a cross between a growl and a sigh.
“You should probably change out of those wet clothes” He pointed at the Countess’s crimson dress, thoroughly drenched and sodden from the downpour outside.
“Shut up, Cascadius!” the Countess barked “I’m in no mood for your cheek this late at night”
“What a shame” he smirked “I take it that your niece has flown off”
“It’s that blasted Fancy Pants!” she snarled “He always has to stick his nose in where it’s not welcome, mocking us with his mere presence! He’s just like his damn parents! And now my niece is content to follow in his hoofsteps!”
“You know we could always just get rid of your niece”
The Countess glared at him.
“Is that all you ever do?”
Cascadius gave a chuckle.
“It’s all you ever pay me for. You claim she’s more trouble than she’s worth and I can find somepony a lot more reliable than that poor excuse of an Echo Squad member. Nice carrots that luckless mare had though. Glad he didn’t kill her. Would’ve been such a waste to the agricultural world” He gestured with the one in his hoof.
“Shut up about the damn carrots, Cascadius! I can’t simply have Irregular killed! I thought you were meant to be subtle!”
“Milady, fifteen years ago you sent me to have the Council Chairmare and her husband tortured to death. Nopony saw or heard a thing”
“And nopony suspected a thing. The papers believed it was nothing more than a tragic attack that nopony could have foreseen. The Princess, by now, knows what’s been taking place. If my niece tells anypony what's been happening, anything about my letters or your assassin, she could bring us all down!”
“Bring you all down, milady” Cascadius smiled, raising his hooves innocently “Not me”
“Hah!” The Countess gave a smirk “Oh you think not? Let me tell you, sir, should I be caught, I will have nothing to hide”
She was used to smirking at those she had under her control.
But that smirk faded the instant Cascadius approached her, his eyes boring into hers. One of his heavy hooves drew dangerously close to her throat.
“Well if that’s the case, what’s to stop me making sure your secrets die with you?”
Cascadius was still smiling. Never once had she seen him not smiling.
It never stopped being unnerving.
“I...ah...” She stammered as the hoof caressed her shoulder in a disturbingly gentle manner.
“There’s nothing to stop me, is there...”
“Now wait a minute...” she whimpered, her ardour broken a third time that day “I...I have children...”
“So did that poor couple you sent me after” he said, so eerily quiet and calm “You know, I don’t think I ever told you this but that interfering mare never once begged for her life when my chums got to work on her. She begged for her husband’s life...quite a lot...and he, in turn, begged for hers...but once they realised they were both going to die that day they both begged for their son’s. ‘Spare him’ they said ‘Do what you like to us, but spare our colt’. And you know, I almost felt bad saying I couldn’t make any promises. It feels wrong, you know, to let ponies die without hope. Didn’t stop me though. It never has”
The Countess was quiet, trembling as Cascadius’s hoof found a decent grip around her neck.
She shut her eyes tight.
There was a crunch.
With a terrified gasp, Magnifying Glass shot open her eyes as she stared at Cascadius...struggling not to laugh as he crunched his carrot.
“I really had you going, didn’t I!” he hooted “Oh, the look on your face!”
“You...you...you cretin!” she snarled “I could have your head for that!”
“Oh please” she snorted “Who the hay would you be sending to collect it? The mercenaries I hire? Think this through, old mare, you’re as bad as your husband”
The Countess gritted her teeth and reluctantly conceded defeat, turning away from the paymaster she’d often relied on, despite all his presumptions and impertinence.
“If there’s nothing I can help you with...” he said casually.
“Yes there is!” she snapped “If we can’t stop Irregular talking, we can, at least, stop others listening. Find the medical records. The thorough ones!”
“From Doctor Bittersweet?”
“Of course from Doctor Bittersweet! And make sure it looks genuine. Enough to convince anypony that my niece is delusional”
“Ah, a good old forgery. I haven’t had one of those in ages. Fair enough, milady, your will is my command, for my usual fee, of course”
“Not so fast, Cascadius” The Countess turned to him “It was you who brought me the news of my niece’s foalbirth in the first place...”
Cascadius did the best thing he could to looking innocent. Usually it was surprisingly convincing.
“So?”
“Why? I wish to know. Why come out of retirement for this? Is there a shortage of work elsewhere?”
Cascadius laughed.
“There’s never a shortage of folk who want someone dead” she said, smiling “Especially now with the coups in Zebrica and the revolutions in Saddle Arabia and, not least, your political intrigue. But you’re right. There is something that got my attention”
“Well?”
“The scruffy brown stallion who was with your niece at the gala”
“Yes...” The Countess narrowed her icy blue eyes “What about him? Who is he?”
Cascadius turned to the door and gave a deep inhale through his flaring nostrils.
“A very special pony...whose life I intend to shorten...significantly”
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Yes! Oh, yes, it did!
She got JUST what she so richly deserved!
Thank you SO much!
Buuuuuttttt.............
This is ALWAYS the way, sadly.
This is a case of "Cut the head of the hydra, and two more grow back in its place".
(And I'm refering to the one from classic Greek mythology, NOT the four-headed beastie from the show.)
Oh, I'm afraid I already know.
I'm just hoping that that everypony (and ESPECIALLY Princess Celestia and the ponies on the council) see through those medical "records" like (pardon the pun) a "pain of Glass".
(And YES, the way that I spelled "pain" is VERY much intentional.)
7699322 Thanks very much. I'm glad it satisfied.
I'm well aware of how much you loath Countess Magnifying Glass and Lord Nitpick (Which was largely intentional) but what do you think of Cascadius so far?
Pain?
Oh I see what you did there...
7699388 You're very welcome, and oh, did it ever!!!
In a word (or a few), he terrified the bejeezus outta me!
That is one VERY scary stallion!
7699576 Ah good. The villains I want people to hate are hated. And the villains I want people to fear are feared.
Character-wise, I have achieved success.
One of the main traits about him is his nonchalance.
I mean, the Countess would find a way to drink a glass of water in a way that would make you hate her but I tried to make him appealing in an unpredictable sort of way.
Did you actually think he was going to snap the Countess's neck?
7699595 Yes, you definitely did!
Yes, I did, actually.
7699770 Thanks.
I was trying to get the Countess's reaction to more or less mirror the reader's.
Cascadius is a massive troll.
But there's a reason the Countess relies on him.
And it's largely the reason how she and her husband keep getting away with this curd!
Have you figured out who the couple he tortured to death were yet? (Put in Spoilers)
7700277 You're very welcome.
*snickers* Well, it worked!
Yeah, I noticed that.
Yeah, I'm sure so.
HOPEFULLY, not for much longer, though.
Okay, I'M guessing Fancy Pants' parents?
Right?
Or totally wrong?
7700748 Totally right.
And yes. He is gonna' find out...
And yes. Curd is gonna' go down...
7700779 Cool, to all of the above
Nice. If the TF2 Sniper was here, he would be like this to the Countess
And for the Doctor and Fancy Pants this
7757750 To the first:
To the second:
Fancy is now my number 2 stallion
I love him