The Janitors

by Sense of Humor

First Mission: Part 3

Matt could sense just under a billion nestled in this giant city, moving and bustling between cities in frantic spurts. He'd never felt such worry and fear in such a high number before--not since the days before the arrest of Fisk. Given the damage that destroyed one half of the city, he could see why they seemed scared and afraid to be seen on the streets for even a second. Everyone looked scared, scattering ants.

The countless soldiers he sensed sounded like dangerous water trapping the ants, always rushing in between them and drowning them with intimidation. A league of bullies scaring defenseless men, women, and children--a league he had to drive out of the city. But how long would it take? It had taken weeks to get Fisk out of Hell's kitchen, and he still had an influence on his city. That scum left a mark, and if he wanted these people safe, he needed to extract them without even the slightest--

He snapped into a reflexive stance when something hard roughly nudged the side of his helmet, his hand grasping the end of a baseball bat.

"Don't do that again." He snarled, shoving the bat away easily. He was coming to regret having paired himself with Harley, needless to say.

"About time! Are you wearing earbuds under that chromedome or somethin'?" She pursed her impatiently, one hand settled on her hip while her bat settled on her shoulder. "I've been tryin' ta talk ta you for the past three minutes! " When he just scowled at her, she rolled her eyes. "Discount Batman, for sure...What.Is.Our.Move?! We're not just going to stand here and stare at stuff, are we?"

"No. I was just...looking around. Seeing which way is safe to go. "Daredevil took stock of the one day down, which consisted of-of a few tarps connected to poles and the low roofs of some short buildings. With the right skills, anyone could get down from where they were. "I don't suppose you know parkour?"

Harley blinked, completely surprised by the question. "Parker? Eh, I try not to remember my all my exes. There was this one guy back in college named--"

He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Do you know how to get down from here fast? At running speed? That kind of parkour?"

"What? Oh, pfft! Of course, I can!"

"Ah, good. Then let's--"

"I'll probably break my legs and arms of course."

Daredevil narrowed his eyes with a groan and angled his head in her direction. "You just said you knew parkour."

"I do! I'm just not good at it. Like, at all." Her aloof shrug was infuriating beyond belief as if it weren't a big deal. Her facial features lit up with an apparent idea if the seductive smile and walk was anything for him to go by. "You could just give me a piggyback ride down there~. Trust me, I've only gained a few pounds from eating cake."

"Stop. I don't trust you behind me." He buffed through his nose and snapped off a half of his long staff. Connected by a strong cable and a button determining the slack, he figured that it would be helpful enough for someone of her flexibility. "Take this end and start down. I'll make sure you don't get enough slack to fall."

"Your idea's no fun," Harley grumbled loudly, but otherwise followed his instructions after snatching the weapon. She gingerly tiptoed on the edge of the roof, casting careful glances to him as he increased the slack little by little. Within a minute or two, his fairly lightweight partner had safely reached the ground. Daredevil followed her down by hopping from various points of elevation, carefully placing one foot down after the other or simply launching himself with a thrust of his legs. When he landed on the smooth, dusty earth beneath his boots, he immediately took a scan of his surroundings. It appeared that no one had really seen them come down, save for the closest citizens that just happened to be walking by. Wait...at the end of the street...

Sh¡t.

"Hey, look at that guy!" Harley's voice sounded in the background, and he faced her. "Oh! My B. You can't see,so--"

"Move. That way. It's one of them."

Daredevil shoved her roughly through the distance to the nearest street corner with a hand and kept a close ear on the soldier not far behind them. Even with all the bulky armor on he was pretty good at keeping a brisk pace with them, even as Daredevil swiftly guided Harley into their hiding spot behind the corner. He stopped her with his hand still tightly clutching her shoulder and patiently waited for time to pass. It was a good thing he was so quick to follow because the soldier practically walked right into his fisted hand.

The fiend was a bit bigger than anticipated, so he had to strike harder and faster at all the right spots to do any damage. He grunted as the soldier caught his right hook and then relayed him with a swift fist to his gut. Daredevil stumbled from the blow but he'd taken hits far worse to be stopped by it; he ducked underneath the swinging arm of the soldier and leaped to deliver a good kick to the back of the helmet. When he crumpled into an unmoving heap, Daredevil noticed that Harley had been leaning against the opposite wall the whole time with crossed arms and a coy expression. She seemed to like making that expression, especially when her eyes were clearly roaming over his form.

"Hope you liked the show." He hissed sarcastically, his lips in a frown that was the exact opposite of Harley's smirk. "Would have been nice if you actually tried helping."

To that, she held up a single finger and remained as still as possible for a couple seconds. He suddenly recognized the movement of a body running up behind the corner of the street she was leaning against, and he opened his mouth to warn her. The jester, her expression snapping from seductive calm to something more wild and dangerous, whirled around with her bat swung like a pro baseball player. Her giggles made him cringe as the bat connected with the jaw of the soldier and cracked it completely out of place. The body soundlessly stumbled backward, landing with a rough crunch on the ground. Daredevil's tongue became aware of the taste of blood and...metal. Metal wiring that meant to replace the brain in the soldier's skull, but was surrounded by blood--blood that was gushing out horribly onto the pavement alongside bolts and other robotic components.

Harley had once been quietly giggling, but soon she was wheezing with a shrill laughter as she brought the bat down on the destroyed head, over and over and over again. The laughter gained the attention of a few passing citizens, and Daredevil swallowed worriedly. He winced as the pattern of blows demolished the odd skull until it was a pancake of a metal, buzzing and popping with sparks. This couldn't keep up--whatever Harley had just snapped into, she'd snap out of.

"Harley. " He pushed lightly at her shoulder but got no reaction. He could hear heavy footsteps --a small group--in the distance. "Harley, let's go. Harley. " With an exasperated groan, he wrapped his arms around her middle and began hauling her off.

She flailed and kicked with howling laughter at first, swinging her limbs in insane spasms and coming close to hitting his head with her weapon. He dodged and jerked just long enough to keep himself unharmed, and for her to calm down. The woman settled into heavy breathing and weak wresting as he drove through the crowds down a busy street. "Suh...S-Sorry. Got a little...excited, you know....Okay, D-man. You can put me down now."

He didn't answer, instead closing the distance between him and the edge of an alley opening. He ran past it entirely and used his sense of smell to discover a sewer exit for them. "No. No more distractions."

"Put me down, ya big red clown!" Harley snarled low and interrupted by heavy breaths. He tensed as he eardrums her rear her back. "Or else I'll see if that helmet yours can cra..."

When he ran down the alley, he skidded to a halt. Somehow, he ended up missing the group of soldiers blocking their path in front of them, appearing out if thin air as if they were ghosts. Harley, cringing at the sight of their adversaries behind and in front of them, swallowed and patted his back.

"Nevamind. Don't put me down."

---

"Hey, come shake that tail over here!"

Well now this was just getting annoying. Not the constant cat calling, though that had problems in its own right. It had been at least eight minutes since she last saw Jack, and time could be running out on them for all they knew. She still wasn't sure how the pirate managed to evade her so easily and so quickly! She was really gonna give him a piece of her mind when she caught up to him, wherever he was.

Twilight stumbled when she happened to land a hoof on someone's boot and press her weight into it. She reeled the limb back too late, for the owner of the boot took notice almost instantly. "Oh, um, sorry. "

"No, but you will be."

The bar goer was certainly odd. His skin was entirely blue, in a rather dark shade of the color. Wrinkle highlighted his worn facial features and even adorned the brown leather clothes he wore. He wore a a rather big trenchcoat over a vest that seemed similar to what Daredevil wore, though with more metal components. Aside from a very nice hat on his head, there were two strange tubes connected to to the sides of his jaws. His eyes were without pupils and were entirely red, focused on the rude pony below.

"If y' don't start watchin' where yer going, yer gonna walk right into ma blaster." His hard voice was low and nasally, like he was speaking through a desk fan. "Ya read?"

Twilight stuttered at the odd question. "Uh, y-yes. I do read. Why do you ask?"

"Just get outta ma sight." The being snarled at her and went back to drinking whatever was in his mug.

"Um..." Twilight pondered whether she should walk away, to travel for who knows how many hours in this forsaken dump, or if she should try her hoof at speaking some more. This was the first sort of real chance at learning anything after all. "I'm Twilight Sparkle. I need some information."

"I'm Cad Bane." He drummed his fingers on the table. "I don't care."

Why is this cranky old guy my only chance? She pursed her lips, glanced at the empty stool across from him and settled herself into it. "I can pay you for it."

"Right. Where ya hiding it in? Ya wings?" He scoffed, then took a swig of his mug.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm a princess. I'm certain I can work out a way of paying you in the future."

"I wouldn't be blabbing about bein' royalty out loud, little lady. Folks around here would love to have a princess for quick ransom money. Including me," He snorted when she stiffened at his remark. "Even if I wanted to snag ya, nobody gets off the planet."

"Nobody? Why?"

Cad scratched his chin, grimacing at something. "Those soldiers came in and wiped away half the city wit their monstahs. Then they corralled us over to this side. They decidin' what to do wit us."

That didn't sound good, and it didn't sound logical either. What the point of all this, to kill a few and then keep everyone else on the other side of the city? Where they searching for something or someone? It seemed the citizens needed the same answers that she did. "Whatever it is, it can't be good. This may be the safest place to stay until we...handle all of this." She looked up from her fiddling hooves. "Last question. Have you seen a pain in the neck around here? Calls himself Jack Sparrow?"

Cad pointed behind Twilight, who whirled around to look. She narrowed her eyes at seeing Jack at a giant table, surrounded by giant bar goers with grotesque looks. He shook a pair of red dice in his hands and tossed them onto the table. Given hoe pleased he looked with himself and how unhappy the others looked, he was winning at the unknown game. She trotted over without even looking back. "Thanks."

"I want mah money in credits, Twilight Sparkle!" She heard him say behind her.

Twilight finally trotted up to Jack as he was in the middle of that same story about riding sea turtles. She impatiently tapped her hooves on the wooden floor and snorted at him. The pirate whirled around with a look of surprise, but shrugged and started to drink some his newly acquired rum.

She glared more. "Hello, Captain. Fancy seeing you here."

"Burp! Ah, my good friend, Twilight! Never let it be said that you are not a loyal friend!" Jack took another long gulp of rum. "Sowhatcanidoforya?"

Her horn lit up instantly. "We're leaving. We have the information we need."

Jack waved his arms in surprise when his body was suddenly lifted a good five feet into the air. He snatched up a few bottles of rum with clumsy accuracy, flailing and twisting all the while. "Now! Now hold on--just one moment! We don't have the slightest..." He trailed as she started to walk towards the entrance, with Jim pulled in tow. "The slightest...um..Cut. Klutz. Kookabura."

"Clue." The Alicorn grumbled.

"Yes! We don't have the slightest clue of what's going on here! We need more reconnaissance! " He paused again and took the longest swig of rum that he could. "We need more ale! It'll mix nicely with this!"

Twilight glanced back at him incredulously, resting a hoof against the door. "I can't believe you left me just to get drunk! You've probably messed up everything for us!"

When she opened the door, she found that he did mess everything up.

A small cluster of soldiers were waiting there when she pushed the door open, with their heavy looking weapons trained on them. The nozzle of a gun pressed hard against her snout, and Twilight stared at it with bug eyes. The owner of the weapon gave them a nod. "You two are coming with us. Our general demands your arrest."

The alicorn princess would have opened her mouth to say something that would have probably helped to de-escalate the situation to something manageable. But she heard another lengthy chug of achoholic liquid and then a voice above her. "Now...If I dood it, I get a whippin'."

The soldier tilted his head. "What?"

"I DOOD IT!"

And then Jack threw the bottle of rum at the soldier, which instantly showered him in a rush of purple liquid. Nobody moved or spoke as the soldier stared at himself, his detainees quickly forgotten. "Agh. " He shook himself a little, perhaps to focus on who he should be arresting instead of worrying about what had been spilled on him. "You will pay for this slanderous act, you--! Where did they go?!"

Twilight and Jack reappeared a little ways behind them, due to one of the pony's teleportation spells. She instantly zipped away and took a left through a wide street, hoping that she had the slightest idea where she was going. Jack flailed about in mid-air, looking around as if he was just realizing where they were.

"I think you've...urp...outrun them!" Sparrow remarked in a slur. "You can stop...moving us so fast!"

Twilight galloped even faster than before. "No! We've got to find the others and see what we can do to stop this!"

Comments

[badninja]

Well I wonder what Captain Jack Sparrow’s plan was going to be? I mean he is the best pirate that just about anyone as ever seen. I hope Daredevil and Harley can do better but I get the feeling that they are not going to like the commotion that they are most likely to come across.