The Janitors

by Sense of Humor

Well this is just Great.

It stung her eyes when she opened them, but the shock of everything didn't help her close them whatsoever. Twilight spastically shoved her legs downwards and up in a paddling circle, but the random current quickly propelled her face first into the seafloor. Now she was inhaling both water and dirt; a bad mix that didn't suit somepony like her. Her purple wings surged through the water with enough strength to pull her muscle fibers too much, yet it helped to get her upright in the water again. One more giant kick of her hind legs and she found her head bursting through the surface of the ocean, already inhaling a raspy breath of oxygen. A magic aura swiftly wiped the hair strands from her eyes as she sputtered, allowing her to prepare herself for another wave crashing down on her head. She looked around frantically after that, for something she could haul herself onto to get her wings out of the water. Twilight searched all around her and immediately saw the familiar outline of a beach in the distance, crowned with a green point and otherwise colored a dull yellow. Before she could even begin to think of moving in that direction, flailing legs caught her attention from the corner of her left eye before disappearing under the surface.

Stifling a groan at her one-sided choice, The alicorn princess sucked in a mouthful of air and shot under towards the sinking body. Under normal circumstances, she might've gasped at seeing that she was untangling rope from a human's neck or the fact that this human was...dressed weirdly. Her teeth unraveled the rope in seconds and the humans costumed arms began to mimic her own in a struggle to get back to the surface. They both created a duet of deep inhaling when the emerged, but the pony was the first to break rhythm. "Over there! There's land over there!"

"I--What?! I can't s--" He trailed off when a wave slammed into the back of his head, but continued right after. She was almost distracted by the weird helmet/mask he had on,; with it's dark red color scheme and glinting eyes. "Just...Just swim toward it and splash a lot! I'll follow the sounds!"

Twilight made a sound of frustrated confusion at his odd request, but didn't need to be told twice concerning swimming toward land. The task took all of twenty minutes to complete and pretty much tired her out by the time she reached shore. The sounds of gasping, water surging and occasional grunts all mixed in as one loud noise that didn't allow any thought other than surviving to arise. A pang of relief hit her heart when her hooves finally scraped to a halt on a sandy floor, and soon she was able to get herself completely out of the water. Even when coughing on inhaled seawater, she could still hear the human crawling onto the beach to retch H20 himself. The two of them didn't want to say anything at first, since they were simply too busy trying to get their breathing back to normal, but eventually her thoughts did return to her swimming partner. How did they end up in an ocean? Why was he wearing that weird suit?

She couldn't begin to try forming a sentence, so he beat her to it. "Are...Are you actually...?"

"Yes, I'm actually a pony..." Twilight would've added that she was an Alicorn to be specific, but she doubted that he would know a thing about Alicorns. "I swear I am."

He got to his boot-covered feet, but his movements were so uncertain that she almost felt insulted. She was harmless, so long as you didn't prank her with a quesadilla. "...I was actually going to ask if you were actually talking. I can believe a horse saving me from drowning." He paused, his head shifting in a way that didn't actually face her. "Wait...no, I don't."

"Well, I don't believe saving a human in a...hairless red monkey suit...?" The mare offered in confusion once she'd fully gotten to her own hooves. "I'm sorry, I just...What is that?"

He made a sound between a sigh and an irritated laugh. "My work clothes."

Twilight grimaced with the amount of confusion that was flowing through her; looking around their surroundings didn't help much either. Nothing but acres of water in one direction, upward curving green in another and half of each in yet another. This was a pretty big place to be randomly thrown into, not to mention a basic place. "Um...I'm Twilight Sparkle, by the way. What's your name?"

The man hesitated to answer that question. "...Daredevil."

"What?"

"Daredevil."

"That's not a real name!"

"Neither is Twilight Sparkle."

"Yes it is! Daredevil is a term that describes someone! Twilight Sparkle is a name."

"Like Ajax is a name?"

"Whatever. So you're Daredevil. And you look like a pepper with horns. Anything else weird about you that I should know?"

"Nothing that concerns--..."

"...Uh, you didn't finish your--"

"Shh."

The hiss went sharply between his teeth, and forced her into the most reluctant silence ever for all of seven seconds. Daredevil's head snapped in a certain direction for only a few centimeters before jerking into a different position, as if listening in on something. Before she could even inhale to speak, the heavily suited human began to briskly walk down the beach. After contemplating if she had a choice in staying there or following him, Twilight trotted up to his side in frustration. "Okay, maybe you don't know how to show ponies or people respect, but interrupting somepony and just walking off isn't ni--"

"Someone just washed up on the beach." He declared lowly, so low that she almost missed it thanks to the sloshing waves. "Female. Young--early twenties. Still breathing...Unconscious."

Twilight found herself torn between looking as far down the beach as possible, and just staring at the half covered face of her acquaintence. "How...How do you know that?" She asked, half skeptical and half amazed.

"I can hear her heartbeat behind those bolders. It's faint, but it's there." He gestured to a set of large rocks set on the corner of the beach, somehow conveniently there before he described their position. His answer only sparked a more urgent questions but he seemed to know this ahead of time as well. "Don't ask how. C'mon."

Once they rounded the circular edge of the boulder, they discovered her lying face up in a shallow pool of water and definitely unconscious as the vigilante predicted. She was definitely young enough to be called 20; as well as a brunette with her dark brown hair in three small buns. Her lanky body was tightly hugged by some kind of makeshift, sleeveless vest and complimented with a makeshift utility belt of some kind. For some reason these, along with the pants and boots, all seemed to be a sandy tan color with bits of actual sand dusting it.

Daredevil cocked his head to face the area of her leg below the knee."Her shin bone is broken. She'll be feeling it when she wakes up."

With a frown at his words, Twilight tentatively reached towards the woman's bare shoulder with a hoof, intending to prod her skin for a reaction. The Alicorn thought she saw the slightest flicker of movement from her closed eyelids, but she was already poking by that point. "Er, miss? Can you hear me? M--"

Waves of invisible energy blasted Daredevil backwards through the air when the woman's hand shot up towards his chest, her eyes wide and full of defensive fear. Her other hand retrieved a cylindrical device from her hips, one that sparkled and produced a great beam of sizzling blue. The intense heat and energy of the beam crackled like fire and electricity combined before Twilight's snout, causing the mare to form a comical bug-eyed stare just to see the weapon she was threatened with. "Iiiiiiss...?"

The woman got into a defensive kneeling position almost immediately, still holding the weapon at a dangerous angle near Twilight's head. She definitely felt the shin bone fracture, as evidenced by her features being twisted by pain. "...W-Whats going on here?! Who are you?! What have you--"

"Is this solar energy?" Twilight all but breathed in a whisper, her eyes going as wide as the sun itself.

"What?" The woman's intimidating scowl fell into a befuddled frown; then it rose into a scowl again. "Yes it is! And it'll be cutting right through you if--"

"That's unbelievable! How does it stay in one general position like that?!" The Alicorn giggled childishly and held up a hoof dangerously close to the solar beam. "Shouldn't it be endlessly shooting out like a ray gun?! Does it put off cancerous ultraviolet or gamma radiation? Shouldn't we all be blind right now?! That metal handle should be completely melted!"

"Silence!" Was the frusturated response. "I'm trying to threaten you! Now tell me where I am!"

A blur of a stick whizzed by Twilight's head and smashed into the handle of the impossible weapon, causing it to fly from the woman's hand and into the sand a distance away. The woman attempted to turn towards the weapon but her injured leg caused her to crumple in the process of reaching for, and a soaking wet Daredevil swept in to pin her to the ground via a knee to her back. She seemed to instinctively struggle against him, but he'd already leaned most of his weight onto her to make sure she stayed there. "Stay down, Kid!" He barked firmly, yet not angrily despite his wet appearance.

"She doesn't seem that far off from your age." Twilight pointed out, although she knew it was hard to tell with his mask on. "And I'm pretty sure if we just talked--"

"HALP! "

All three flinched when a burst of running legs and a high pitched voice appeared from the edge of the boulder opposite to them. A man in clothing that seemed to be ripped right out of 1730 galloped towards the trio with flailing arms and a nasty looking hyena snapping at his heels. The sudden volume of his screams at close range startled everyone, but Daredevil was startled enough to reel back and give the woman the room needed to buck him off. By the time the horned man got to his feet, the mysterious woman threw a coordinated punch at him; one that was just barely blocked. He returned with a few strikes of his own, each one blocked or redirected by her sleeved arms. Twilight made a sound of confusion and shock as the hand-to-hand fight, the hyena chase and the overall noise of the beach grew to defeaning levels.

As frustration with the clamor grew, a mildly annoyed frown settled on the mare's face as her horn sparkled with purple energy. In seconds a holographic explosion burst from the tip of her horn and blasted out in the direction of all of the chaos, freezing everyone in place and surrounding their bodies in a film of purple light. Daredevil was in mid punch with The woman, while she was stuck in the process of kicking him in the ribs and the oddly dressed fellow was about four inches away from getting a brand new bite mark. To Twilight, she'd stopped everyone just in time.

"Okay. Good....That should give everypo...everyone time to calm down a bit."

"Calm down?! Do you know who I am?!" The woman was obviously struggling to move, let alone comprehend that she couldn't move. "I am the possible daughter of Luke Skywalker, creature! I've trained with him for months now! You won't capture me so easily!"

"We weren't trying to capture you." Daredevil deadpanned, and rolled his eyes...not that anyone could tell past those red lenses. "We were just trying to see if you were still alive...why am I frozen, again?"

"You did try to punch her. And punching girls is wrong, you know."

"What? She was this close to chopping your head and mine off with whatever that thing was! I was only going to knock her out as painlessly as possible."

"Ahem." They all shifted their gaze to the man in the more historic garb, who gave them a sarcastic grin full of barely brushed teeth. Thanks to him being completely still now, they could see a light beard and equally light dreads placed on his head. "Yes, hello! Excuse me for interrupting, but I can't help but point out that horses aren't supposed to talk or...do this strange magic business you're doing right now."

The woman raised an eyebrow despite still looking angry. "Horse?"

Twilight fought the urge to rub the bridge of her snout, and instead addressed them all with a clearer voice. "Look, I'm going to let down this freezing spell in five seconds. After that, we'll introduce each other and decide whether or not we want to continue fighting after that...or I could just keep you all in those uncomfortable positions for the rest of the day. Choose wisely."

The Alicorn ceased her hold of the freezing spell, and everyone stumbled into balance again(after Twilight teleported the hyena away). Daredevil exchanged wary stances with the odd woman, but to Twilight's relief, they didn't go back to their fist fight again. With a pleased grin, the mare cleared her throat to begin speaking to the two new acquaintances. "Okay! Hi, I'm Twilight Sparkle: The Princess of Friendship! What's your--"

"Snrkt."

Twilight turned to the man with thin dreads."...Is something funny, Mr...?"

"Ah! Sparrow! Captain Jack Sparrow to be precise!" He practically skipped over to the pony, his arms held at odd angles as he did so. "Forgive my ...*ahem*--sneeze, but did you really say that you're a Princess of Friendship?" He snickered again, glancing over at the other two humans to see if they were laughing too. "That's a strange type of...imaginative monarchy you have there. "

"Imaginative mon--...! Whatever." Twilight ignored him in favor of the woman. "And you are?"

"...I am Rey. Member of the Resistance against the First Order and currently a Jedi in training." She reluctantly revealed, crossing her arms and skeptically staring at each of their faces. "Also, as I mentioned earlier, the possible daughter of Luke Skywalker."

"Possible?"

"Its...I-Its complicated. The point is that it's possible." Rey responded curtly. "And who are you? Why are you wearing that outdated stormtrooper outfit?"

"Its not....whatever you just said. I'm Daredevil. " The masked man pocketed his weapons and crossed his arms. "That's all you need to know."

"Daredevil? That's not even--ah!"

Rey began to walk over to her own fallen weapon, but the pain in her leg came back the moment she put the slightest bit of weight to it and caused her to limp. Twilight sighed at her persistance in getting the weapon and used her levitation magic to carry it into the human's hands. "You know, you really shouldn't be standing right now. Daredevil, could you please help her sit down? I can make a split for her leg until the bone heals."

"Uh--no." She hopped backwards when Daredevil turned in her direction, hands raised halfway. "I don't need your help."

Sparrow sighed, though mostly to himself. "Oh great. She's one of those types."

"You kinda do. It's only gonna take a few seconds to make it." Twilight pointed out, interrupting the start for a potential fight. She managed to lift up two fairly large pieces of wood from a dead tree and bring it over to Rey. "Um...Okay....Does anyone have a long piece of cloth or something I can tie this up with?"

Daredevil snatched another of his holstered weapons, revealing that it was connected by a wire that could extend. When he held it out to Twilight, she shook her head. "No. We need something that we can control the length of so that we don't have an slack that would make the wood loose."

Rey perked up at this. "Well, if no one has any rope then I guess we'll just have to forget about--"

"There's vines hanging from the trees inward towards the island. Not too far of a walk...wait." The masked man angled his head again, while Twilight eagerly and quietly studied him as if expecting to learn how he could sense such things from afar. "There's another woman. She's trapped in the vines. Blonde. Late twenties...also unconscious."

"Mate...you have serious issues." Sparrow made a face at him and gestured with his fingers.

Daredevil shrugged. "You have no idea." He faced Twilight. "You coming with?"

"...er, who? Me? Sure, I guess." Twilight responded, a bit surprised that he asked her to come along with him. Perhaps he trusted her more than the others by a tiny percent? "Uh...Jack Sparrow--"

"Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Whatever. Keep an eye on Rey, and tend to her needs." Twilight turned to the woman, who wore a look of distrust and tenseness. "I know we just met and all...but please try not to move so much. Trust me, it'll slow you down a lot more in the future than now. I'll... I'll bring you back something. Some food, maybe?"

Rey rolled her eyes at Twilight's attempt at starting a friendship; it really wasn't her fault for trying. The woman eventually gave way under the Alicorn's stubborn stare and shrugged. "...I don't know... Sure."

"Great! We'll be right back then!"

---

"Uh...I see you picked me to go with you over everypony else super fast."

"I've known you longer than the rest of them, as you can clearly see." Daredevil hopped over a log with relative ease despite it's height. "And you're the least dangerous. The others both had weapons on them."

Twilight wanted to tell him that she was actually pretty dangerous, but she reminded herself that she was also harmless. The Alicorn nodded. "Well, okay. But you aren't exactly safe yourself. You're skilled in some kind of martial art."

"Multiple. Turn left." The man made sharp turn and his legs nearly collided with her face due to the randomness of the turn. "They have martial arts where you come from?"

"Not exactly. I just traveled to the human world once and learned a few things. Never heard of you, though."

"Eh. I'm not that well known anyways. More of an urban legend."

Twilight mulled over his words, and then recalled the two others she'd met on this island. One had a pirate look to him and the other...was odd. "...so what do you think an urban legend is doing on an island ? Aside from everyone else?"

"...I know one thing."

"What's that?"

"I'm gonna find out. Behind these ferns." Daredevil swatted large leaves out of the way, parting them for himself to step through before the mare followed curiously.

It was a small clearing with one large tree occupying the majority of it, several vines hanging from the shrouded branches like huge noodles. Tangled by the leg and grunting furiously, a woman hung upside down while trying to free herself with no rewards. Her clothing color scheme consisted of two colors; her tight shorts were half red/blue, her long sleeved shirt had a red/blue stripe pattern on the biceps and her stylish boots had the same color. Her own platinum blonde pigtails seemed to be dipped in red and blue dye, and the corners of her eyes seemed smeared with the same colors. Aside from that, the only distinguishing features about her were her abnormally pasty skin and a black heart tattoo on her cheek.

All three noticed each other immediately, and the woman seemed the most confused. Her upside down head tilted to the side like a puppy and her crystal blue eyes bored into them oddly. After a long time of staring at the man and the pony, she sighed in relief and a huge grin molded her red lips. "Phew! So I really was dreamin'! What a relief!"

Twilight glanced at Daredevil and, after remembering that he couldn't glance back at her, she looked back to the odd woman. "Um, I'm afraid this isn't a dream. Though I do wish it was....Do you need any help getting down from there?"

"Who, me? Puh-leeze, figment of my imagination! I got this! It only...needs...a little more..." The woman raised her arms up to her ankles to retry the untangling process, only to give up within 30 seconds. "Okay. You can help."

Twilight effortlessly used an untying spell to free her ankle, and also used her magic to ensure that the woman didn't fall uncomfortably to the ground. From the corner of her vision, she could see Daredevil tensing up slightly. He seriously needed to act better around people. "...Are you okay? Do you remember how you got here?"

The woman leaped to her feet abruptly, dusting herself free of leaves and the like. "Sure, I do, darlin'! My motha conceived me and here I am!" The bright grin dissipated slowly. "Oh, you mean how I got to this jungle area! Not a clue. Maybe that's just my Hangover or somethin'...hmm..." She suddenly thrusted a hand out towards Twilight, who flinched back from the movement. "Hahlee Quinn, pleased ta meecha!

The Alicorn gladly shook her hand as best as she could, but still grimaced. "I'm sorry...Holly Quinn?"

"No, Hahlee Quinn. It's the accent, I know."

"Well...Harley? I'm Twilight Sparkle! The Princess of Friendship back where I'm from." Her horn gestured to the urban legend beside her. "This is Daredevil...I know, he won't reveal his real name."

Harley smirked softly as she looked him over...possibly a little too much. "Tall, dark and Handsome chin? Must be a discount Batman."

Daredevil just glowered for several long seconds, the exact opposite of Harley's wide grin. Twilight stared between them nervously for some time, until her glaring acquaintence spoke. "Let's get back to the beach."

"Oooh! What's on the beach? Coconut drinks? Blackened Tilapia? Man-eating sharks?"

Blinking at the list, Twilight slowly shook her head. "Er, no. There's just...two other people that we happened to find out here too. They're in the same problem as we are."

"You dropped something."

Harley's pigtails swayed randomnly as she heard Daredevil sharply speak to her, and then look down to where he gestured. "...that's not mine."

Twilight looked down out of curiosity and beheld what looked like a medallion of some kind, with an entirely grey color scheme to it's marble surface. It was engraved with a symbol from some unrecognizable language, emboldened by a square and sitting promptly on the front. With her magic, the Alicorn levitated the medallion closer to her face for her to inspect. "It's certainly odd for something like this to show up out of nowhere. I'll keep it for observation back at...camp, I guess. I know a translation spell that should have this weird symbol decoded soon."

"Translation spell?" Harley repeated quizzically.

"You're better off not asking." Daredevil advised briskly and began in the direction he came from just minutes ago. "Let's get back to the beach. It's time we get some answers."

Author's Note:

And, that's the first chapter of this hopefully thrilling story.

Comments

[Dream Seeker]

Is this related to/based on The Infinite Loops?

[Sense of Humor]

8206183

The What?

[The Bricklayer]

Oh boy... This can only end well. Tracking.

[Claw in Cursive]

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip,
That started from this tropic port,
Aboard this tiny ship...

...Is what I thought of upon reading the synopsis.

[Dream Seeker]

8206188 Oh, if you've never heard, I'm sure you'll absolutely love it. Let me just... The Infinite Loops
Enjoy!

[jsk244]

This is certainly an odd gaggle o' folks. No Kaiju yet even. But heck, I'll give it a look-see.

[Rainbow Dream]

So, we have a purple Twilicorn, a blind Catholic ninja, a jedi, a member of the Suicide Squad, and Captain Jack Sparrow. WHO AND WHERE'S THE KAIJU!?

[Sense of Humor]

8206809

Ol' Kaiju is showing up in the next chapter!

A very, very, very old and spiky Kaiju.

[Claw in Cursive]

After reading this, I get a distinct flavor of MythrilMoth's Comes a Crossover, except with less characters -- which isn't necessarily a bad thing. While I love that story, there are so many characters from so many franchises, it's a bit hard to keep track of everything.

Okay, so there's an MLP, a Marvel, a Star Wars, a PotC and a DC character, and we haven't met the kaiju yet. Fun fact: Three of the five castaways belong to the House of Mouse.

Also, we have three heroes, one villain and one who swings either way, depending upon the situation. I'm on pins and needles waiting to read how they react to each other when they realize each other's alignments.

[Boltstrike58]

Here's to hoping they don't kill each other.

[orpheus talos]

I realize that Harley and Twilight are both voiced by Terra Strong. Does this make them best friends, or worst enemies?

[Rainbow Dream]

8206862
So it's Godzilla!?

[Sense of Humor]

8207376

You'll seeeeee...

[Arc Angel]

So this group consists of Daredevil, Rey POSSIBLY Skywalker, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, Harley Quinn, and Twilight FRACKIN Sparkle.

This situation has officially lost all hope of ending well.

Also, martial arts do exist in Equestria, as shown by the fact that Rainbow Dash one tried to teach karate to Apple Bloom, and has a black belt in it apparently.

And I am entertained by this tale, that is all.

[Jakomi of the Rose]

Harley smirked softly as she looked him over...possibly a little too much. "Tall, dark and Handsome chin? Must be a discount Batman."

You alright there, Matt? Need some ice for that burn?

[the7Saviors]

Oh dis gon' be FUUUUN.

[Vaguely Demented]

How on earth/equis can Daredevil tell Harley is blonde?

[Sense of Humor]

9162473
Different hair scents/ air texture!