Lunasservant. Which time zone do you live in pray tell?

7614310 why do you ask?

7614478 You upload time was 7 and I live in Gotham(Darker version of saying new York city).

lunaservant, i am using phone and currently i cant use my computer (which wont have internet for quite a while). so if you can kindly post the link to the picture that is sonata dere, in a reply, because i cant find the source on phone.

where is this pic from sonata looks cute but its not a pervy pic is it

7615711 its from rule 34 i just barley got away with using it, it doesn't show anything but i had to really crop it out. have you read the story? what do you think of it?

Since no one here has said it, I'll do the honors:

memestorage.com/_nw/76/38547873.jpg

7615721 uuuuuhm I looked at your story to see if it was....."messy" ....it's not my cup of tea

7615721 if it's not a dirty/pervy pic send the link but if it is WRONG . ....Nevermind

7615835 oh....

7615784 and did it go someplace worth going to?

7616032 I'm sorry I'm just not a fan of the Sexual stuff but its sounds sweet

7616036
Yep

Okay, so he's the Carnage of changelings…and brought his magic with him?

I'm all for tentacles, but this has a few too many execution problems. What I saw of it seemed sexy enough, but…Too many spelling errors that a spellchecker would catch, among the other flaws. (And some it wouldn't, like dinghy in place of dingy.)

A bit formulaic in him saving her. Why does he comment about his red goo being lube-or-glue…and neither of his victims realize in fear he could have done so much worse? Why would she stay human once her jewel was back? Why would it take her so long to "begin to enjoy" what is avowedly her One Secret Fantasy?

7616812 ok i maybe subconsciously thought of carnage in the whole shape shifter with the colors and details, but I just thought a red changeling would be more like a red soldier ant, more of a fighter than an undercover spy the way changelings usually are. like a twisted version of celestia's royal gaurd and be able to conjure up stuff like tentacles and slime for cocoons and morph their limbs into weapons since they don't change to look like other ponies the way black changelings do, and it's not TOO unplasable the sirens had their powers when we first saw them and only got stronger as more and more magic seeped into the EG world. The whole comment thing i admit kinda feels like forced exposition but really i was going for something someone would say when they have someone else on the ropes and about to deliver the final blow, like bragging about your weapon right before killing with it. The whole staying human thing with sonata is she has her powers back but isn't gonna go full on siren just yet, you'd think she'd learn from the last time not too or else it'd alert her old foes sunset to her having her power back. lastly it took a while to get to the actual clop mainly because i like to have some substance to my stories when i write them, not just start with sonata getting tentacle banged right out the gate.

edit: fixed most of the spelling and grammer

Not a fan of tentacle porn but the story was decent, i liked that it was told from Sonata's POV. Not many stories use that kind of narration.

LOVE SONATA CAN'T WAIT TO READ!

Fairly certain that there shouldn't be a period in the title.

Sonata is wrong. He is a monster.

And not for being a Changeling. Yeah, cutting people is a great way to show you're not a violent freak who deserves to be locked up, isn't it? He deserves a Rainbow Deathbeam to the face, honestly.

7727766 it was more anger making him do that, remember these guys for all intents and purposes sexually harassed her in a way that can get most people expelled or even arrested irl, i wanted to make it seem like he never intended to go as far as travis did but lost control and almost became as bad if not worse than them. Not to mention that "cut" at best is a scratch that would have only escalated had Sonata not interfered.

7727738 You sure? I've had people give me flack in the past for NOT having one..but i'll remove it.

7727809

I don't know who those people are but I guarantee you that ninety nine percent of the time it's not a period.

7727805
Thing is, it's all brushed off right after it happened. Did he really feel bad? Did he loose control or didn't he just not want to look like a maniac in front of Sonata? Does he do this all the time? We know nothing about anything after it happened.

For that matter, seeing as how he assaulted them instead of sticking to words (which are also hurtful, to be fair), he's arguably already worse, but eh.

Either way, like I said, it's dropped after one sentence. The whole sequence lacks any emotional impact. You could've cut it and nothing would've been lost. It more seems to be in there to show off how badass Travis is than create meaningful conflict. I mean, the whole thing's over with "Eh, he'll be fine."

You could've had the same thing with Sonata following him home and peeping through a window.

Everyone's pretty much raised the criticisms I would've brought up, except one: d00d, you need an editor. I mean, it's legible, but only painfully so. I think there's a good, if rushed, story in there, but the editing errors are distractingly numerous.

When I saw him again after that, he had found Dumbbell and Bright...it was then I learned Travis's secret.

Travis, as in from Aphmau's MyStreet series?

I just realized...

The sex part of the story is copied from Sunset's Gift.

You copyright ass