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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh shit. I was supposed to adopt them? I took them out back and shot them!
7648485 I'm reporting you for the cruelty to typo's. You should be locked up! Monster!
Another great chapter, this story is just so unique, I love it!
I'd lose the comma. The sentence flow feels weird with it.
...
Um, Celestia, unless you plan on suffocating him, that's not how you get a boy to suffer...
How about: "His mother had always treated him like a little foal: constantly keeping him close by, never letting him go off to play with the other foals when he was younger..."?
gathering willow branches for Dew Sparkle and Dandelion Fluff before they would make him one
Stuck under the straps that ran over his back was the spear
Her coat was light grey, and her mane and tail where both white; with little streaks of blue that matched her eyes.
...
-Riffles through selection of reaction memes...-
Now I can't wait for the next chapter when he brings her back, can't wait to see everyone's reactions to seeing her plus his family should be surprised that he got himself a mate in the process as well. I wonder how she'll fit in with everyone, well at the very least she could easily be their best scout given she literally can get a bird's eye view of places they can't.
Although you also further went into some unknown enemy that will most likely come up later int he story as I think this is the second mention of something you've been hinting at. Not sure what it would be yet but I guess we'll find out eventually.
I almost expected her name to be Surprise. That said, this is an exciting development. Can't way to see how the tribe deals with their newest member.
well new addition to the village incoming
7648485
7648495
That brings in a whole new definition for Grammar Nazi
Another great chapter, this story has become one of my all time favorites. I can't wait to read what happens with this herd next or what awesome discoveries they make.
I admit I came for the clop, but stayed for the story (and also the clop)
Yay, mating scene finally!...
Wait, wasn't Sky a filly? Or this was her first heat?
7649510 It was her first heat. If you noticed, I started off saying filly, but later I changed it to mare. I did this on purpose. She's at that age where she's just growing into marehood. Dusty is the same. Since there is no equine term for teenager, I have to play the filly-mare colt-stallion wording loosely.
7648785 I know! Right!? Well at least he didn't drown them.
7648736 Second mention of the strange creatures that Climbed trees. Yes it is, one of the other earth ponies discovered tracks that were pony sized and led up one of the trees.
Typo adoption? Wuzzat for?
Well now, this has been a delightfully fun read. There aren't many stories that focus on this time period in Pony history (I can only think of one with similar premise from the top of my head, actually), so I find it very interesting to watch as their society takes the first floundering steps away from being the proverbial "cavemen" and nomadic "hunter-gatherers" to the early trappings of an agrarian society, and all the social upheavals and developments that come with it; the founding blocks of a more permanent civilization.
Even the sex parts of the story fit the narrative well and don't feel like simple inclusions for the sake of having sex - there's a real, wild feel to this early society where things like shelters, family units and social norms are only starting to develop. Decency simply doesn't really exist as a concept, and with the whole herd being on the move constantly (up until recently) there was neither room nor need for it. You have captured the feel of an early society that's naturally bereft of these concepts fairly well, so props for that.
And with that aside, I am very much looking towards seeing where you will take this early society. Them meeting another of the tribes was something I was very much looking towards, though I didn't quite expect it to happen this way. Still, I can't wait for Dusty to take Sky back to the camp, which should provide all sorts of interesting reactions and ramifications for the little herd.
And it figures the Pegasi would be well aware of other tribes existing (while it's a myth and hearsay for the earth ponies) - at this point in history, they are probably the only pony race with real social mobility and ways to make information travel quickly, it makes sense they would know things from far and wide. Though from the sounds of it unicorns feel fairly established as well (makes sense - telekinesis would be one hell of an equalizer against predators in these early days) - though it's a bit of a shame you seem to be going with the common portrayal of them being stuck up and antagonistic.
As for the creatures that assaulted the pegasi ... assuming it's a species we have actually seen in the show, I'm going to guess at them being some earlier version of changelings (perhaps before they learned how to shapeshift and get food that way?) - that would both fit the pony sized tracks the earth ponies have discovered a few times now, as well as Sky mentioning they kept the pegasi from flying away with invisible force, with smells of telekinesis.
--
Anyways - this has been a very good read so far, and I can't wait for more.
7656526 I'll give a quick hint about the mysterious creatures. They never appeared in the show, but they did make an appearance in the mlp Comics.
7656951
Well then, no wonder I didn't recognize them from the description - my knowledge of the aforementioned MLP medium is very limited
7660486 I thought the typo was lonely, being all alone in that chapter. This way you can send it to be with all the other typos... Wherever that is.
Would it be more believable if she would fly without wings?
Dusty: "Okay..."
Dusty.exe had crashed.
Good chapter!
I can't wait to see how the rest of the village will react.
(She will be accepted, right?)
Technically this is not a typo, so you can keep it.
Remove one of these. Not zero, not two; exactly one.
7656951 The Umbrums?
7842863 Nope, not them. Try again.
Shouldn't it be "many" instead of "my"?
7993039 That was a good catch there. It was supposed to be "By"
Thanks.
7842883 nightmare creatures?
Dem breeding intensifies! This is also adorable!
I really like how you write how they have sex like the real animals... Wow what did I just say XD
I think that would bea good idea